Being a Mentor
By
Veronica Newman
I joined the Mentoring Moms organization because it was a Christian based organization and I was
searching for a productive volunteer activity and since my children are older I now had time to
invest in volunteering. So when I saw the ad for mentors for teen moms that was my sign to move
forth. Not only would I help nurture a teen but also help nurture her child. At a training meeting,
we were discussing assigning me a mentee and Tiara's name came up and then we realized that
our birthdays were a day apart so it was decided to match us together. I phoned Tiara and
arranged to meet her on a Saturday. I must admit I had no idea what to expect and didn't know
what would happen. Of course they don't live in the best neighborhoods but I didn't either growing
up and with prayer and God on my side I ventured forth. I always remember the scripture "to
whom much is given - much is expected" (can't remember what verse in the Bible) and there were
several people that helped me along in life to move up and out. I got lost on my way there but
finally if a few more calls found my way. At this time Tiara was about eight months pregnant and
expecting a girl (we were surprised when the girl turned out to be a boy). We went to lunch and got
lost again (this became a regular for us getting lost on our outings) and finally made it to the
restaurant. Tiara was quiet and reserve and I'm quiet and reserve but eventually we warmed up to
each. After that day and along with attending parenting classes on Thursdays, Tiara and I would
get together regularly for lunch and go to the movies (she loves movies). In our getting to know
each other, I also learned a lot from Tiara especially about the social services system. Tiara has a
great sense of self and survival. She has set goals for herself without my prompting but I do
provide her the encouragement and support as she needs it. Tiara was very diligent in finishing
high school and I attended her graduation ceremony and the principal spoke highly of her and how
far she had come. Also that year Tiara was given an award at a reception from DC Social Services
which she invited me too and I attended. Tiara has become a part of my family. She and Jerimiah
have spent numerous weekends at my home with my family and friends. Everyone thinks she's my
daughter and she resembles my daughter too! Tiara and my children get along as if they have
always known each other just like brothers and sisters. I have taken Tiara to church, skiing, family
and friend’s functions, etc. and I don't have to worry about her behavior. Tiara is very well
mannered and I never had to reprimand her for anything. As a matter of fact, my family and friends
always inquire about her and Jerimiah. I have met her family members and she is very close to her
grandmother and I see her working things out with her mother. There are a lot of misconceptions
about teenage mothers from the inner city but they all have potential with the right guidance and
support. Sometimes taking the young ladies out of their environment for a few hours or a day does
wonders for them. Tiara tells everyone in that I live in the desert but she loved coming to my house
because of the quiet. Tiara also surprised me with her speech at the YoungLives tea when she
spoke about her experience at Bright Future, Young Lives, and me as her mentor and we both
were crying. She attended summer camp this year and really had a great time and I'm glad that I
supported the summer camp program. Even though, Tiara has transitioned out of Bright Futures
and has her own apartment, we still maintain contact and get together. It would be difficult to
end the relationship just because she is now living independently because I wouldn't cut the ties
with my own children because they have moved to their own place. Tiara and Jerimiah will always
be a part of my life, now just like my own children!!!