Mentoring Skills
Attending and listening
Your posture, gestures, facial expressions, and voice all send nonverbal messages to the
learners. It is important that what you say verbally is reinforced rather than muddled or
contradicted by your nonverbal messages.
There are two points. First, use your posture, gestures, facial expressions, and voice to send
messages you want to learners, such as, ‘I want to work with you to help you manage
better’. Second, pay attention so that you can listen carefully to learners.
Throughout the training programme, observe the nonverbal behaviour of your fellow
participants and give them feedback on how it affects you when you play the role of learner
or observer. Ask for feedback on your own attending style.
The elements of physical attending can be summarised by the acronym SOLER:
S Face the learner SQUARELY while sitting at a table – you can be across from them or at
right angles. This says that you are available to work with them.
O Adopt an OPEN posture. This says that you are open to your learners and want to be
non-defensive.
L LEAN toward the learner at times but without intruding on their personal space.
E Maintain good EYE contact without staring. This tells the learner of your interest in them
and their concerns.
R Remain RELAXED with them as you interact with learners. This indicates your confidence
in what you are doing and also helps the learner relax.
More important than nonverbal behaviour in itself is the total quality of your being with and
working with the learner. Your posture and nonverbal behaviour are a part of your
presence, but there is more to presence than SOLER activities. Do not become preoccupied
with the micro-skills of attending.
(Adapted from Gerard Egan (2007) Exercises in helping skills. California: Thompson Books)