SANS CLUE HASH, RUN 554 ATTENDANCE :14 PEOPLE. - USUAL MEETING PLACE : PARKING LOT AT GARCHES RAILWAY STATION. - WE CAR POOLED TO ST CLOUD FOR THE START OF THE RUN. ****************** .. DESERVING OF ITS NAME, THE "SANS CLUE HASH" DID NOT DISAPPOINT. THERE WAS ANOTHER CONFUSION WITH NO FIXED PLACE TO START, NO DESIGNATED HARE AND STILL NO VOLUNTEER FOR A LIVE RUN. WE EVENTUALLY FOUND A SATISFACTORY SPOT AND OUR BRAVE "GORF", ONCE AGAIN, CAME TO THE RESCUE. ( WHAT SHALL WE DO WITHOUT HIM WHEN HE DISPAPEARS INTO BANGLADESH NEXT JUNE ? ) .. "GORF", OF COURSE, BEING THE ATHLETE THAT HE IS , HAD THE RUN OF THE PACK. WELL "GORF" GAVE US OUR MONEY'S WORTH OF RUNNING, NEVER STOPPING: LIKE THE EVERREADY BUNNY. MOREOVER HE WAS WEARING A PALE YELLOW SWEATSHIRT JUST LIKE A FRENCH LAPIN. SO WE RAN AND RAN AND RAN, NEVER FINDING THE SOUGHT AFTER RELIEF OF THE MUCH AWAITED BEER STOP. WE FINALLY DECIDED TO IMPROVISE ONE SINCE "ANAL CONDOM", THE GOOD SPORT, HAD BEEN TRANSPORTING HEAVY BEER PACKS IN HIS BACKPACK ALL THE WAY. THEN OUT OF THE WOODS CAME "GORF", FULLY CONFUSED AS WHY WE HAD NOT FOLLOWED HIM TILL THE END. HE THOUGHT HE HAD US BY THE NOSE, NO, I MEAN BY THE LEGS .. HA HA , BUT WE HAD THE BOOZE MY FRIEND ! "GORF" DELIVERED A SUPERB RUN WITH ALL THE PERKS ( FALSIES, MANY CHECKS, DOUBLE ARROWS ). WE FIRST WENT THROUGH THE MAGNIFICENT FORMAL FRENCH GARDENS OF THE NOW DEFUNCT CASTLE OF ST CLOUD. WE ADMIRED THE BEAUTIFUL STATUES , THE MAJESTIC FOUNTAINS AND THE BREATHTAKING VIEW OF PARIS WITH THE PICTURE PERFECT EIFFEL TOWER IN THE MIDDLE. THEN OUR RUN TOOK US THROUGH MANY WINDING PATHS AND CLIMBING HILLS IN THE WOODED PARTS OF THE ESTATE. AN ASSORTMENT OF TERRAIN AND LANDSCAPE, A TRAIL THAT WAS DELIBERATELY MADE DIFFICULT WITH SPARSE FLOWER SPOTS, LOTS OF SCOUTING AND CALLING, AN OCCASIONAL RAIN SHOWER TO BREAK THE SUNNY COLD WEATHER AND WE HAD ALL THE INCREDIENTS FOR AN INTERESTING RUN. WE HAD THE CIRCLE IN THE CAR PARK OF OUR STARTING POINT, UNDER THE PROTECTION OF A ROAD OVERPASS. "LIKES A LONG ONE" HAD BROUGHT WHAT SEEMED LIKE A FEAST TO THE COLD AND HUNGRY RUNNERS THAT WE WERE, A FOLDING TABLE AND A WONDERFUL SPREAD OF GOODIES, INCLUDING THE STILL WARM HOME BAKED APFEL STRUDEL THAT HAD US SALIVATING TILL THE END. BY THEN IT WAS GETTING VERY COLD AND I OVERHEARD THE 2 RUSKIES FROM MOSCOW AGREEING WITH THE 2 GIRLS FROM ALASKA THAT IT WAS COLD INDEED. WELL THAT MADE ME FEEL BETTER TO SEE ONE OF THE RUSSIANS GIRLS DANCING ON HER FEET TO WARM HERSELF AND WE ALL SANG "KALINKA" AND JOINED HER ! AT THE END OF THIS POLAR CIRCLE, MOST OF THE BUNCH GATHERED IN SEVERAL CARS TO GO AND WATCH A REPLAY OF THE RUGBY MATCH AT "THE CELTIC CORNER", THE USUAL DRINKING HOLE FOR HASHERS MADE FAMOUS BY "ICEMAN" OUR BEERMEISTER WHO LIVES AND WORKS IN THE VICINITYOF THIS BOOZE TRAP. MAYBE HE FINALLY FELL VICTIM OF HIS VICE AND COLLAPSED ON THE BEER COOLER BEFORE PUTTING IT IN THE TRUNK/BOOT OF HIS CAR. HE HAS NOT BEEN SEEN ON THE HASH FOR WEEKS. THIS IS WHY "ANAL CONDOM" WAS PLAN B ( AS IN BEER, YOU MORONS ! ) IN THE BEER RESCUE OPERATION. TWO AMONG THE OLDER HASHERS , "HALF CRAZY" AND "RETURN TO SENDER" DECIDED THAT A HOT BATH WAS FAR MORE ATTRACTIVE THAN A LITER OF COLD BEER ( THAT MUST COME WITH AGE ) AND DECLINED THE PUB REUNION. NOW FOR THE CRIMES AND DOWN DOWNS: >>>> "MAKE ME AN OFFER" : FOR WEARING THE DECATHLON LOGO IN A DAY THAT CALLED FOR THE TOTAL BANISHMENT OF THIS TRADEMARK ON ANY SPORTSWEAR. >>>> HALF CRAZY, FUCKING FAN, GORF, DESPERATE FOR ALLAN, RETURN TO SENDER, FOR BEING FRENCH NATIVES AND HENCE NOT MAKING THE LIST OF THE COUNTRIES WITH THE WORLD HIGHEST CONSUMPTION OF BEER. CZECHOSLOVAKIA IS THE WINNER IN CASE YOU DIDN'T KNOW. AND THIS WITHOUT THE HELP OF ANHEUSER BUSH IN ST LOUIS, MO ( PRODUCER OF THE AMERICAN BUDWEISER ). NEXT TIME WE SHALL HAVE A DOWN DOWN FOR ANYONE NOT BEING ABLE TO SPELL CORRECTLY THIS EASTERN EUROPEAN COUNTRY . FRENCHIES , BEWARE ! ... >>>> MA BOUCHE: FOR BEING DRUNK , SLUMPED AND SNORING IN A PARIS METRO CAR. >>>> HATS IN THE CIRCLE : RAMBOLLOCKS AND DESPERATELY SEEKING ALAN . VISITORS: >>>> TWO ALASKAN GIRLS FROM JUNEAU: JENNIFER WAS MADE TO COME BY 2 GUYS IN ALASKA ( NO PRECISIONS: WAS SHE SENT SO SHE COULD TEST AND REPORT ON HOW THE FRENCH "DO IT " ? ). THE WEATHER IS COLD BUT THE MEN ARE NOT I ASSURE YOU. THE OTHER JUNEAU GIRL : "DO ME DECIMAL" WAS HEARD AS "DO ME DOUCEMENT" BY "MA BOUCHE" AND IT EXTRACTED GOOD LAUGHS FROM THE CIRCLE. >>>> TWO RUSSIAN GIRLS FROM MOSCOW: ANTONINA ("007": Ed) WHO REVEALED SHE IS ONE OF "SLACK MACK" ENCOUNTERS IN MOSCOW ( HUM ! ) . DID SHE MENTION TO HIM SHE WAS COMING TO VISIT AND HE RAN OFF TO SKI IN THE FRENCH ALPS ? MARINA IS THE OTHER MOSCOVITE WHO CAME ALONG TO CHECK ABOUT "FRENCH STUFF". RETURNEES: - "RAMBOLLOCKS" WHO HAS NOT BEEN SEEN MOST OF THE WINTER ( HE WAS TOO BUSY CHOPPING WOOD FOR HIS DATCHA ). "DESPERATE FOR ALAN" WHO HAD BEEN BUSY LOOKING FOR HER MISPLACED CITY HANDBAG/PURSE FOR MONTHS ( THIS IMPLEMENT IS USUALLY ATTACHED TO HER RIGHT HAND AND WAS FELT LIKE AN AMPUTATION ). A PRESENT WAS WAITING FOR HER, SENT BY FIONA FROM IRELAND AND PRESENTED IN THE CIRCLE BY MA BOUCHE: A COMPLETE MELAMINE PLATE SET WITH THE TRADITIONAL 4 LEAF CLOVER ON IT SO SHE WOULD NOT LOSE HER PURSE AGAIN. SHE DUTIFULLY DRANK THE MAGIC POTION IN THE SOUP BOWL. FUCKING FAN FULFILLED HIS DUTY AS THE OFFICIAL LADIES MAN OF THE SANS CLUE HASH ( HIS TRADEMARK: TWINKLE IN THE EYE, SLY SMILE, SUGGESTIVE BEHAVIOR, ALWAYS WISPERING HIS HONORABLE SERVICES TO OUR FEMALES ). AH FRANCE WOULD NOT BE THE SAME WITHOUT HIM ! HE IS OUR ACTING PHOTOGRAPHER : SOUVENIR SHOTS OF *ALL KINDS* CAN BE FOUND ON THE WEBSITE. ...............................YOURS TRULY , ................. RETURN TO SENDER