This is an example of a B+ Essay from a Sophomore
Student 1
Sophomore Student
Mrs. Garcia
English 10 ACP
13 April 2012
A Unique Comparison
The protagonist in The Catcher in the Rye, Holden Caulfield, is a sixteen-year-old boy
who fails out of school resulting in expulsion. He avoids society in order to protect himself from
adulthood due to its displeasures. Furthermore, Lord of the Flies displays Simon as a young shy
boy who embodies a rationally fine person. Simon is one of the few who genuinely helps others
in his effort to improve the community on the island. Both novels include characters who
contradict their beliefs and personalities. J.D. Salinger’s The Catcher in the Rye and William
Golding’s Lord of the Flies are related because of the protagonists’ desire to maintain their
innocence in a world full of harsh realities.
Simon and Holden both strive to maintain integrity and avoid being damaged by society.
Simon ventures off alone and encounters a pig-head on a stick, the Lord of the Flies. Its
comments to Simon consist of provoking statements like “they think you’re batty. You don’t
want Ralph to think you’re batty” (Golding 143) to warn Simon that the boys think he is
eccentric. This does not affect Simon significantly because he shakes his head showing he is not
troubled by Lord of the Flies. The Lord of the Flies continuously tries to tempt Simon to “play
with the others,” (Golding 143) but again it has no impact on Simon because he knows the
difference between being good and being a savage like the others on the island. For example, one
such savage, Roger, who has lost his sense of civilization, throws rocks at Henry in the water and
misses on purpose. Roger, along with the other boys, has a sense to hurt others on the island
because they know that there will be no consequences for their actions. In addition, when all the
Student 2
boys play in the water, Simon is the only one who stays behind to help Ralph build the huts
because shelter is more vital for survival than playing in the water. Being a twelve-year-old boy,
having fun is a main priority, but not for Simon.
Holden, as well as Simon, yearn to be his own person and are seen through small actions.
Holden frequently wears his hunting hat to signify his difference from the others. Although
Holden does not wear his hat around familiar people, it represents his desire to be an individual.
According to Holden, he “[has] to come out from somewhere and catch” (Salinger 173) the boys
and girls and prevent children from growing up. This expresses his longing for the role of the
“catcher in the rye” (Salinger 173). Society’s ideal plan for Holden is for him to grow older and
leave his childhood behind. Holden resists the plan and wishes to remain in adolescence. Holden
is an individual because he does not branch out too far from his beliefs just like Simon. Another
moral Holden stands by is that sex comes with a mental connection, a girl he respects and can
relate to. He has the opportunity to have sex with Sunny, considering she is a prostitute, but he
lacks a deeper connection with her. By sticking to his code, he refuses sexual intercourse with
Sunny. Besides, Simon does not partake in the savagery with the boys, and Holden does not go
against his values of life. Holden and Simon stand by and adhere to their principles.
Simon and Holden both put others’ interests before their own for the good of the
community. Simon’s desire to help the others survive while stranded on an island is greater than
his desire to have fun. Since Simon eats before Piggy and there is a low supply of meat
remaining, Simon “shove[s] his piece of meat over the rocks to Piggy” (Golding 74) showing his
kind intent. Simon’s natural instinct is to be a genuinely good person. A twelve year old boy will
primarily be irresponsible and selfish without hesitation by nature. Simon’s simple acts of
kindness, such as reaching a fruit on a high branch for the boys, prove his overall devotion to
Student 3
preserving life. Holden is not much different. In Holden’s interaction with Stradlater, he shows
care for an old flame, Jane Gallagher. When Stradlater comes home from his date with Jane,
Holden fights him because he receives the vibe that Stradlater tries to have sex with Jane. Holden
senses this because he is protective of those he loves. He believes men should develop a
respectful relationship with someone before proceeding with sexual intercourse. Stradlater does
not possess that attitude towards women. Although Holden cares about others that pertain to his
morals, and Simon cares for the boys and overall life, they both possess a sense of concern
towards others.
Holden and Simon both withdraw from society to avoid being corrupted by the people
around them. Simon is trapped on an island with wild boys full of fear as well as hunger for
power. Since Simon is aware of the boys’ insanely evil ways to gain power, he seeks refuge in
the jungle. He escapes to the open space in the jungle and “look[s] over his shoulder… glance[s]
swiftly to confirm that he [is] utterly alone” (Golding 56) in his desire to stray away from the
group. The boys act in animalistic ways which can be contagious. By Simon wandering off in the
jungle, he is less likely to catch the contagion. By staying away from the boys, Simon allows
himself to remain true to his ideals. Likewise, Holden lives with Stradlater, a boy who causes
conflict with him, and Holden makes it clear to readers that he opposes his behaviors. Holden is
trapped in childhood due to his continuous defiance of adulthood. Both boys alienate themselves
so dealing with overbearing ways of other people does not have to be dealt with. Simon avoids
the community on the island out of his pure personality, and Holden does this in fear of
surpassing adolescence.
In addition to the parallels between Simon and Holden, the boys in Lord of the Flies
share similarities with Holden, too. Both novels contain characters acting in contradictory
Student 4
manners. Jack is a duplicitous character that reveals his true colors later on, “We’re strong—we
hunt! If there’s a beast we’ll hunt it down!” (Golding 91) However, once the naval officer shows
disappointment and doubt in the boys, Jack “[gives] himself up to them on the island for the first
time” proving that he is not man enough to own up to his own mess. They are too naive to face
the fact that the beast is inside them. The beast in the boys is their fear of each other. The beast
inside Holden is the urge to have sex; conversely, he criticizes people for being too sexual. He
calls guests at the hotel perverts for cross dressing and spitting at each other. Then, he claims he
likes what he sees but at the same time it bothers him. Holden is basically calling himself a
pervert. The boys and Holden are hypocrites to their lives because they cannot realize they
exemplify the actions that they claim they are against.
Simon and Holden’s true actions exhibit the natural good in people even though both
characters detach themselves from the dishonest society. It proves that two boys from totally
opposite worlds can act in similar fashions. Additionally, readers can relate to the actions of
Holden and Simon because of how these boys preserve to stay true to their own beliefs and
morals and do not mold into society. In constant change in environments, both boys are
untouched by influence and human nature allowing the reader to realize how intertwined their
personalities are to their values.
Teacher Notes:
This essay scored a B+
On a scale of 1 to 6 in each category, for a maximum total of 24, the student scored 20, broken
down as follows:
Thesis or Controlling Idea:
5
Evidence and Text Support:
5
Ideas, Extension, and Elaboration: 5
Organization, Mechanics, and Style: 5
The essay was strong overall. However…
Student 5
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The writer does use transition words; however they don’t flow smoothly. For example, the
student uses “furthermore” when “similarly” or “on the other hand” would be more
appropriate.
Essay contains some minor grammar issues: a few misplaced commas, one comma splice,
missing period after a citation, one citation missing.
Conclusion is a little confusing near the end.
Teacher comments:
 p. 2: “Link to the ‘harsh realities’ of thesis.”
 p. 3: “Give an example of Holden flunking out of school, not going home right away, or
opening up to no one except Phoebe.”
 p. 4: “Is it, or is the beast the EVIL inside?”