A TRIBUTE TO THE JAMES
At last they are lauded, and loudly applauded
King DJ and his stellar Queen
Had they stayed on tour, never knocked on our door
Good Heavens! Where would Southbroom have been?
For 17 years, they’ve given blood sweat and tears
To the likes of you, darlings, and me
And they even found time, their genes to combine
Here are Courtney and Connor … you see …
They’re The James.
He’s a father, a brother, a player, a coach
A husband, a son, and sometimes a roach
Dressed in purple with proboscis on high
He’s been Jan, he’s been Tiger,
Done Elvis and Mick
Don’t want to rhyme there … he’s a monk in this trick
Always willing to serve and to entertain
And he never lets on when you’re being a pain
She’s the caddie that toured until pregnant she fell
She’s the sister, the friend that runs the Pro Shop so well
She’s a wife and a mother from morning till dusk
And she’s also a well known provider of rusks
or muffins ….. and all colours league
With ever an ear for that bit of intrigue
She’s the Kodak Kid, takes pics of us all
And she doesn’t even follow the little white ball
And now in his prime at sweet fifty-three
This King Derek James, who exactly is he?
What are his credentials in this game of old??
An amazing achiever, here’s what I’ve been told:
Derek James was the leading amateur in
The 1980 South African Masters
He made his provincial debut for the
Western Province while in the Navy (hello sailor!)
King DJ also represented Transvaal and Natal
He played in three British Amateurs
The World Amateur in Switzerland in 1982
And he represented South Africa as a Springbok
(woohoo, hello Jan) on five occasions
Before turning Professional in 1984
Among his many achievements on tour, King DJ won:
The Tournament Players Championship in Canada
Three tournaments in America including the Holy Oak Pro Am
(of course he is the holy oke, you’ll see him tonight, monk-eying around,
right here, the late show, wait and see)
Eight tournaments on the South African Winter Tour and
He came second to Ernie Els in the 1992 South African Open
King Derek retired prematurely from the tour in 1997
(Because of his ejaculations, I told you already!)
And the Tour’s loss was absolutely Southbroom’s gain
Derek has served the Board of the SA PGA
Was named Teacher of the Year in 2008
(he’s still that, we all know that) and
He was the first PGA Professional to win both the
Club Pro of the Year and the teacher’s award
in the same year, 2002 (He’s still the Club Pro of the Year.
Dammit man. Do they know from nothing or what?)
King DJ teaches many hours a week
(He does our Ladies Clinic on Tuesdays)
He is an expert in every aspect of the swing
And is best known as a short-game coach
(Its the short-strokes that count ….he-he-he)
And, Queen Sheen??
She’s the lumbar, thoracic, cervical, the spine
The backbone of all that we treasure divine
The Golf Club, the Pro Shop, the post box, the phone
The hub of the village, the queen of her home.
And would you believe that she started in teeth?
Can make all our dentures, our crowns and relief
Wide eyed from Zimbabwe, a young girl she came
Met DJ and quickly learnt all of his game
She’s caddied the world, fifty tournaments or more
And still “caddies” today for her family of four
To Courtney sweet red-head and Connor the boff
You must be real proud to be made of such stuff
And tonight we pay tribute to each one of you
You’re special, you’re kind, you’re giving and true
You’re The James.
Southbroom Ladies Amateur Classic
2013 – The 10th Anniversary