Push your Boundaries
Sue Stockdale
www.suestockdale.com
How emotions drive our responses
In which areas of coaching do you want
to “push your boundaries”?
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Type of client
Type of issues you work with
Processes you use (e.g. assessment, tools)
Your pricing
Reflective practice and supervision
Level of professionalism
Knowledge
Dealing with silence, lack of action, challenge
What helps us?
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Confidence in our own ability
Desire to explore the “unknown”
Acceptance of consequence
Willingness to learn (from mistakes)
Trends – others doing it
Tolerance of “failure”
Supportive environment
Our attitude towards risk
Performance vs. Stress
High
Quality of Performance
Low
Medium
Level of Stress/Arousal
High
Change curve
Denial
Commitment
Resistance
Copyright © Sue Stockdale and Clive Steeper
From Cope with Change at Work
Acceptance
Adapted from Kubler-Ross
Johari Window
Arena
Known to all
Façade
Known to self
Unknown to
others
Ref: Joseph Luft and Harry Ingham
Blind-spot
Unknown to self
Known to others
Hidden Potential
Unknown to all
Arena
Known to all
Typical thinking and behaviour in response
to changing environments
Situation Emotional Reaction Response
Thinking
Known
To All
Minimal
Effort
+ve Excitement
Engage
ACTION
Commitment
“This is comfortable”
Known
To All
-ve Antipathy
Threat
“I don’t like this task” avoidance
What’s
the point?
Resignation
Sue Stockdale, (2013) "How to Thrive in Change and Uncertainty", Industrial and Commercial Training, Vol. 45 Issue: 5
Reluctant
acceptance
Hazardous Thinking Patterns
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Anti-Authority – no one tells me what to do
Impulsiveness – do something…anything
Invincibility – it will never happen to me
Macho – I can do it
Resignation – whats the point?
Ref: US Coast Guard
Ways to address hazardous
Thinking Patterns
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Anti-Authority – identify there are always rules
Impulsiveness – stop and take a breath
Invincibility – review what you actually did
Macho – recognise others are likely to already
know you can do it
• Resignation – think what difference could I make
here?
Ref: US Coast Guard
Where is your focus?
PAST
“What was”
PRESENT
“What is”
FUTURE
“What could be”
Denial
Commitment
Acceptance
Resistance
Copyright © Sue Stockdale and Clive Steeper
From Cope with Change at Work
Adapted from Kubler-Ross
Blind-spot
Unknown to you
Known to others
Typical thinking and behaviour in response
to changing environments
Situation Emotional Reaction Response
Thinking
Unknown
+ve Excitement
Relate
To You &
Known to
“I can learn from them”
Others
What’s this?
Unknown
To You & -ve Fear
Defensive
Known to “They might find
Others
out my weakness”
No-one tells
me what to
do
Anti-Authority
Ref: Sue Stockdale, (2013) "How to Thrive in Change and Uncertainty", Industrial and Commercial Training, Vol. 45 Issue: 5
ACTION
Commitment
Resistance
Unknown to You
Feedforward
Known to
Others
Ref: What got you’re here won’t get you there by Marshall Goldsmith
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Pick one area to improve or change
Let go of the past
Ask for ideas
Listen and thank
Follow-up
Feedforward
Identify one behaviour that you would like to change or
improve
e.g. more structured at start of session, doing more CPD
Share it with another person and ask for one or two ideas
Person offers ideas – you LISTEN and say THANK YOU – no
discussions or judgements
Ask them what they want to improve or change and offer them
one or two ideas – THEY LISTEN and say THANK YOU
Both move on to get more ideas from other people
Ref: What got you’re here won’t get you there by Marshall Goldsmith
Façade
Known to self
Unknown to
others
Typical thinking and behaviour in response
to changing environments
Situation Emotional Reaction Response
Known
Enjoyment
To You & +ve Surprise
Unknown
To Others “This is a chance to shine”
Known
Engage
To You & -ve Surprise
Unknown
To Others “I can’t believe they
don’t know this?
Thinking
I can be of
value to others
I’ll show them
Macho or
Invincibility
Sue Stockdale, (2013) "How to Thrive in Change and Uncertainty", Industrial and Commercial Training, Vol. 45 Issue: 5
ACTION
Commitment
Denial
Focus on Strengths
My top five strengths are:
• Futuristic - Wouldn’t it be great if?
• Activator - When can we start?
• Significance - to be recognised
• Maximiser – Excellent not average
• Focus – Where am I headed?
www.strengthsfinder.com
Hidden Potential
Unknown to all
Typical thinking and behaviour in response
to changing environments
Situation Emotional Reaction Response
Thinking
Unknown +ve Excitement
To All
What can
we learn?
Engage
ACTION
Acceptance
“I am curious”
Unknown -ve Fear
“This is scary”
To All
Threat
avoidance
Do something
….anything
Impulsiveness
Sue Stockdale, (2013) "How to Thrive in Change and Uncertainty", Industrial and Commercial Training, Vol. 45 Issue: 5
Commitment
Factors that will help you
to step into unknown
Your level of comfort with change (stretch)
Willingness to communicate thoughts and feelings (transparency)
Ability to show vulnerability
Confidence in your own capabilities
Your ability to be aware of, and question assumptions
No Influence
& No Control
Influence
& No Control
Influence
& Control
Copyright © Sue Stockdale and Clive Steeper
From Cope with Change at Work
www.suestockdale.com
Helping people to achieve
exceptional performance
Twitter @suestockdale