Choosing Feelings
How Self Talk influences
your feelings.
Objective:
To identify the effects of negative and
positive self-talk on your feelings
 To identify where your feelings derive
from.
 To understand how to an event
followed by a particular chosen
response results in what you get.

Personal Power
Chart
Getting What You Want
Steps to Personal Power
WHAT YOU GET
YOUR ACTIONS
YOUR ATTITUDES
YOUR VOCABULARY
YOUR CHOICES
What you get!
1.
2.
3.
4.
What you get, what happens to you is a result
of actions you take.
Your actions are a result of your feelings or
attitudes.
Your feelings or attitudes are a result of your
vocabulary, the words you use orally and/or
silently (self-talk).
What vocabulary you use is a choice you
make.
Your feelings, then, are created by the vocabulary you
use, particularly the self-talk you use. Self-talk is another
way of saying the thoughts you have.
Example Situation
Let’s say that toward the end of lunch break, you remember you
want to call your mom to ask her if you can go over to a friend’s
house after school. When you get to the office, someone else is
using the phone. You wait, and you wait, and you wait some
more. Finally, the warning bell rings, and you turn to go to class.
You start thinking in your head: ‘Now I’ll be late for class and
Lori is going to rag on me and I’ll have to miss my break all
because that stupid jerk wouldn’t get off the phone.
Example Discussion


“How are you going to feel as a result of that
self-talk?”
“What if, when you left the office you chose
the following though pattern:
 “I
wish I would’ve remember earlier to go use the
phone. Maybe I’ll do some extra Math during break
since I’ll be staying in.”

“How are you going to feel as a result of
those thoughts?”
Example Discussion







“Were the feelings the same in the two instances?”
(no, first one was negative, second one was positive)
“Did the event change?” (no, the situation stayed the
same)
“If the same person could end up with different
feelings after the same event, did the event cause the
feelings?” (no)
“What did cause the feelings?” (what the person
thought, their self-talk)
“Where does self-talk come from?” (your thoughts)
“Who controls what you think?” (you do)
“So, who controls what you feel?” (you do)
“Event + Response =
What you get”
E+R=W
Come up with four
problems/situations

Examples:
 Your
mom nags you about not doing your
chores.
 Another student is saying rude things about
you.
 You get a speeding ticket
Self-Talk Creates Feelings Chart
Negative Feelings
Positive Feelings
Self Talk Wrap Up





“Can other people or events make you feel happy or
sad?” (no)
Where do feelings come from?” (self-talk)
“How can you choose your feelings?” (choosing your
self-talk)
“How will this skill help you in life and at school?”
(accept all responses)
“Controlling your feelings is hard initially and
doesn’t always work very effectively at first.
Practice will make it easier and more effective. You
will find it easier and easier to control your feelings
and responses as you practice.”