Assertiveness in the
Workplace
February 2011
Welcome and
Introduction
Our Days Agenda
08h30 – 09h00
Registration and Tea
09h00 – 10h30
Speaker Assertiveness in the Workplace
10h30 – 10h50
Tea Break
10h50 – 12h30
Assertiveness in the Workplace Continued
12h30 – 13h15
Lunch
13h15 – 14h30
Assertiveness in the Workplace Continued
14h30 – 14h50
Tea Break
14h50 – 16h00
Assertiveness in the Workplace Continued
16h00
Close
Topic Agenda
1. Understanding assertiveness
2. How assertive am I?
3. Applying assertiveness in the workplace
4. Assertiveness and dealing with aggressive
individuals
3
4
6
8
Understanding Assertiveness
Communication
Communication is the transfer of information, whether
aggressively, passively or assertively by posture, words,
facial expressions, tone or gestures, from one source to
another, and in such a way that an understanding,
whether intended or not, takes place.
Understanding Assertiveness
In his studies, Albert Mehrabian, the Professor Emeritus
of Psychology at UCLA, identified that there are
essentially 3 elements to communication, words, tone
and body language.
Words
Tone
Body Language
Understanding Assertiveness
In order for effective communication to take place it is
important that the three elements are in congruence
with one another. If people hear the words but see that
our body language does not line up with what we are
saying, they will be less likely to accept that what are
saying is true.
Mehrabian found that when the three elements were
incongruent the listener was more likely to trust the
predominate one.
Understanding Assertiveness
Understanding Assertiveness
Understanding Assertiveness
Understanding Assertiveness
Understanding Assertiveness
Now that we have identified the three means of
communication, let us look at the three broad categories
of communicators
Aggressive
Assertive
Passive
Understanding
Assertiveness
AGGRESSIVE
Defining points
• Standing up for what you believe in
• Showing a lack of concern for what others believe in
• Showing a lack of concern for the feelings and opinions of others.
• Placing your needs and wants ahead of others
Understanding
Assertiveness
AGGRESSIVE
Typical statements of an aggressor
“I will only say this once”
“If I don’t do it, nobody will”
“The only way to get things done properly is for me to do it”
“I don’t really care what you think”
“No, you will listen to me”
Understanding
Assertiveness
PASSIVE
Defining points
• Failing to stand up for what you believe in
• Allowing others to disregard what you think or believe
• Allowing others to disregard your feelings and opinions
• Placing the needs and wants of others ahead of your own
Understanding
Assertiveness
PASSIVE
Typical statements of a passive
“No its ok, lets do it your way”
“Whatever you think”
“I’m not very good at this”
“If its going to cause problems, rather let me do it”
“I don’t mind”
Understanding
Assertiveness
ASSERTIVE
Defining Points
Honest –
Express yourself as you feel without lying to others as this is
ultimately lying to yourself
Considerate –
Consider the situation you are in, the feelings and attitudes
of others and express yourself appropriately within that
context
Direct –
Be direct in your conversation so as to avoid the pitfalls of
misunderstanding. Be clear, concise and deliberate with each
statement
Understanding Assertiveness
Effective assertive communicators understand….
“Other people
also have the
right to be
assertive in
their
behaviour
style.”
“A win/win
scenario is always
possible
regardless of the
behaviour style
adopted by the
other person.”
Understanding Assertiveness
Effective assertive communicators understand….
“You are not in a
competition to
change the other
persons mind. They
will change their mind
only when they
choose to change it.”
“Other people are
allowed to
passionately believe
something that is
completely different to
what you believe.”
Understanding Assertiveness
Effective assertive communicators understand….
“You are
not always
right.”
“Any
relationship
requires
commitment
from both
parties.”
Understanding Assertiveness
Effective assertive communicators understand….
“Proactive
communication is
always better
than reactive
communication.”
“Assertiveness
in the
Workplace is a
choice that I
choose to
make.”
Understanding
Assertiveness
7 Simple techniques for more effective listening
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
Maintain eye contact
Respond appropriately with word or nod
Refrain from interrupting
Take notes if possible
Allow the speaker to finish before evaluating the message
Clarify main points with questions
Keep emotions under control
Understanding
Assertiveness
Why ask questions?
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
It builds understanding
Promotes a higher level of thinking
A person’s ability to understand & remember material is enhanced
Questions encourage others to speak
To collect information
Able to find possible solutions
Builds trust
Understanding
Assertiveness
Benefits of open-ended questions:
•
•
•
•
•
Invites opinions, thoughts and feelings
Encourages participation
Establishes rapport
Stimulates discussion
Maintains balance between speakers
Topic Agenda
1. Understanding assertiveness
2. How assertive am I?
3. Applying assertiveness in the workplace
4. Assertiveness and dealing with aggressive
individuals
3
4
6
8
How Assertive
am I?
What can you do to be more Assertive?
1. Assertiveness is often linked to self image and self belief.
Examine yourself first and know what your value system is. In
knowing clearly who you are and understanding your rights, you
will be able to communicate more directly and with confidence
and self control.
How Assertive
am I?
What can you do to be more Assertive?
2. Value the rights of others and be respectful of them. Understand
that you may not always be right so open your mind to rational
arguments.
3. Ask for help from peers who you know will be honest with you.
How Assertive
am I?
What can you do to be more Assertive?
4. Identify the body language characteristics that you have that
limit your effectiveness. These could take the form of giggling,
nodding your head too much, playing with your hands or always
averting the gaze of the person you are talking to.
How Assertive
am I?
What can you do to be more Assertive?
5. Identify the tone characteristics you use that limit your
effectiveness. A singing voice or a voice with a sarcastic
undertone should be replaced by a level, well modulated tone.
6. Learn how to avoid being interrupted while you are talking by
using a polite yet firm phrase. An example of this would be,
“hang on, I haven’t finished”
How Assertive
am I?
What can you do to be more Assertive?
7. Don’t start interactions with the word sorry. Also avoid
apologising for what you are about to say. Both will immediately
reduce the assertiveness factor.
8. Improve your listening skills and learn to ask effective open
questions which will not only provide you with clearer information
but improve your overall confidence with regard to the issue at
hand.
How Assertive
am I?
What can you do to be more Assertive?
9. Don’t be afraid to say no. If necessary give an explanation but
don’t apologise through the entire explanation. This will be
perceived as passivity and could be used against you to
ultimately get you to say yes.
10.Use “I” not “you” statements. People cannot argue with how a
situation makes you feel but they will argue with you if you tell
them how it makes them feel, even if you are right!
How Assertive
am I?
What can you do to be more Assertive?
11.Practise with friends and family. Practise in front of the mirror by
making assertive statements, maintaining direct eye contact,
standing relaxed and upright and be very aware of your tone and
body language. Choose less anxious situations at first until you
build up your confidence.
Topic Agenda
1. Understanding assertiveness
2. How assertive am I?
3. Applying assertiveness in the workplace
4. Assertiveness and dealing with aggressive
individuals
3
4
6
8
Applying
Assertiveness in
the Workplace
Building Trust
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
Be
Be
Be
Be
Be
Be
Be
Be
Be
honest
open minded
credible
sincere
timeous with information
discreet
transparent
open
humble
Applying Assertiveness in the Workplace
Employer
Employee
Get personally involved
Get personally involved
Involve the whole team and listen to
others ideas and concerns. Allowing them
to participate in the process will ensure
their loyalty and commitment to the
process.
Share ideas and concerns remembering to
always have an alternate idea if you
believe something wont work. Participate
fully and with enthusiasm in the process
Ask for volunteers to assist with the
process, you may be surprised as to who
takes up the challenge. Build a team to
assist with the process.
Volunteer to assist with the process and
be prepared to work in and work with a
team.
Be clear and honest about what needs to
change and exactly how that process will
take place. Plan well and keep all informed
as to the progress.
Listen carefully as to the changes and ask
questions to avoid any confusion.
Be positive and encourage others to
improve. Be direct and clear as to why
change is needed and exactly what that
change will be.
Be positive and supportive to those in
charge and be an agent for change.
Keep people informed with regular
meetings. If you see that negativity is
creeping in address it immediately by
giving them a progress report.
Attend all meetings and be positive. Take
notes and address your peers when they
speak negatively about the changes.
Change
Management
Applying
Assertiveness in
the Workplace
Dealing with Different Cultures
In order to effectively communicate with another culture it is helpful
if you understand their approach to:
Authority – what is their approach to dealing with authority. Is
it very hierarchical or very informal.
Gender –
how do they respond to members of the opposite
gender in work relationships.
Applying
Assertiveness in
the Workplace
Time –
are they time conscious or is the quality of the task more
important.
Detail –
is great attention to detail important to them or are they
more comfortable working in a creative environment.
Individualism – do they believe in individualism or are the more
collective in their approach to work.
Age –
how do they treat elders and how would they
respond to instruction from a younger person.
Topic Agenda
1. Understanding assertiveness
2. How assertive am I?
3. Applying assertiveness in the workplace
4. Assertiveness and dealing with aggressive
individuals
3
4
6
8
Assertiveness and
Dealing with
Aggressive Individuals
Dealing with aggressive individuals or bullies in the workplace can
be a very intimidating. The reality is that that is exactly what an
aggressor or bully wants you to feel. If you are intimidated and
respond passively you reinforce the behaviour because as the bully
gets their own way their behaviour is being rewarded which leads
to it persisting.
Assertiveness and
Dealing with
Aggressive Individuals
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
Be prepared
Don’t be dominated
Don’t get offended – manage your emotions
Ask clarifying questions
Listen carefully
Explain your action plan clearly
Thank you ….
Thank You
Fasset Call Centre
086 101 0001
www.fasset.org.za