Managing People in Organizations Class - 7 Massimo Magni SDA Bocconi Asia Center I Proposal for RBI Academy AVOID THE PATTERN OF CONFLICT Victim Karpman’s Drama Triangle Persecutor Rescuer AVOID THE PATTERN OF CONFLICT Creator Victim Challenger Persecutor Karpman’s Drama Triangle Coach Rescuer How? The victim becomes the creator -- works proactively to create a positive (or at least tolerable) outcome to a conflict The persecutor becomes the challenger -- is honest even when it's difficult. Their honesty can create conflict or cause pain, but it also gives the creator an opportunity to reflect and grow The rescuer becomes the coach -- asks the creator questions to help them discover and achieve what they want Reframing the situation where there is still discomfort and pain, but there's no villain Why feedback • Should encourage improvement within your team (not remind us of failure) • Must be communicated in a way that enables the members to use it to team advantage • An active process in which both giver and recipient take part and can grow personally and professionally Specific features of good feedback: • Stems from a set of common goals and norms previously agreed upon • Involves a 2-way discussion • Builds on trust 1. Timely • Should be expected and planned • ALL team members should attend • Timely (set a good time for the team) Ask yourself: • What is the right time to set a feedback-meeting? • Is this the right place?... 2. Focused • It Is specific and avoids generalities • It uses first-hand, accurate data • Limited to behaviors that are remediable Ask yourself: • Do I have the facts, the detail? • Can I be specific? • Is this something the learner can/should improve? “You interrupt me when I am speaking” NOT “You are really rude” 3. Appropriate • Objective- based on agreed upon standards • Uses non-evaluative language • Deals with decisions and actions not assumed intentions or interpretations • Avoids “mixed messages” (e.g. “you did a good job, but….”) “You were late in completing your part of the work on the ABC and XYZ case analyses.’ NOT “You are constantly late with your work” “When you were late with your part of the work on the ABC case, it held up the rest of the group as your part was very important” NOT “You are lazy.” 4. Constructive • Is problem solving oriented • Serves the needs of the team • Points to directions for improvement • Comes to closure and gives sense of future directions “I’m concerned with what you have told me. Can you provide more specifics about the situation?” NOT “I don’t do things that way. You’re wrong!” “You have not done any financial analyses. Perhaps I can help you with the next one.” NOT “If you don’t do the next financial analysis you are out of the group!!” 4. Constructive Ask yourself: • Can I be sufficiently calm and objective? • If not, why not? • Am I willing to stick around long enough to pick up the pieces if all does not go well? 5. Possible steps • • • • • Describe problem in detail, actions and consequences Include specific examples if has occurred more than once Focus on the behavior not personality or motives State the facts in no uncertain terms Be open about your reasoning “From the facts I have related, I am coming to these conclusions. Am I wrong?” Avoiding Common Pitfalls When giving feedback: • Invite questions and clarifications; maintain twoway communication. • Acknowledge the other’s concerns; listen for what may be difficult for them to change. • Follow up to help them with new approaches; change is seldom straightforward. Avoiding Common Pitfalls When receiving feedback: • Listen calmly; avoid over-explaining. • Work hard to see the other’s perspective and ask questions to clarify as needed. • Assume good intentions unless clearly proven otherwise. “Let me make sure that I understand what you are telling me.” Or “I’m not sure that I understand. Will you say it differently?”
