Next steps
• Generating ideas
• Gathering information
• Narrowing the information
• Outlining
Generating ideas
How might you generate ideas?
“What people somehow (inadvertently, I’m sure) forgot to
mention…was that we need to make messes in order to find
out who we are and why we are here—and, by extension,
what we’re supposed to be writing.” (Anne Lamott, Bird by Bird)
Gathering & narrowing information
How might you gather information?
How might you narrow the information?
Outlining
1. Write an outline (or at least a list).
2. Start with a standard template and modify.
3. Add as much detail as you comfortably can.
4. Don’t etch it in stone.
Scientific proposal template
1. Significance and objectives
a. Significance and motivation
b. Objectives
c. Hypotheses
d. Summary of proposed work
2. Background
a. Introduction
b. Literature review
c. Summary
3. Proposed work
a. Overview
b. Details
c. Plan
d. Preliminary work
Technical report template
Writing the document
Are you a farmer or a hunter?
Advice: Just start somewhere and write. Make a mess.
Break the rules.
Writing the document
Why is it OK to break the rules and make a mess when
you write?
Revising the document
Use a top-down approach:
1. Structure
2. Paragraphs
3. Sentences and words
a. Sentences
b. Grammar
c. Word choice
d. Punctuation
http://www.ucalgary.ca/uofc/eduweb/grammar/marking/
Revising the document
1. Structure
Revisit purpose, audience, context, content
a. Did you meet your purpose?
b. Do you have a new purpose?
c. Did you address the audience properly?
d. Did you provide the right content?
e. Do you need more?
f. Can you cut anything extraneous?
Revising the document
2. Paragraphs
a. Make the paragraph the unit
of composition.
b. Ask whether you developed
the idea sufficiently.
< 100 words: Developed enough?
> 200 words: Split into two?
Revising the document
3a. Sentences
Sentence errors are legion:
 1.
 2.
3.
4.
 5.
 6.
 7.
 8.
9.
10.
11.
12.
13.
Sentence fragment
Run-on sentence and comma splice
Fused sentences
Overloaded sentence
Mixed construction
Faulty parallelism
Dangling modifier
Misplaced sentence elements
Shift of number or person
Shift of tense, mood or voice
Omissions
Lack of variety
Illogical sentence (e.g faulty co-ordination, faulty subordination)
Revising the document
Sentence fragments
“If you write a fragment, you fail.” (W. Heston, 1984)
Propane and natural gas on the other hand are still fossil fuels,
but they hold the potential for a very good short term solution.
Short term meaning eventually fossil fuels will be completely
depleted.
Where’s the fragment? How would you revise?
Revising the document
Run-ons and fused sentences
I also have us booked at Fareway on Friday from 4-8pm the
store manager said the store is busier on Friday than Saturday.
How would you revise?
Revising the document
Mixed construction
Convective heat transfer is when the flow carries the heat.
The reason the coverage of the Olympics frustrates him is because
NBC focuses on the stories instead of the sports.
Temperatures in Ames will be warmer this weekend.
Revising the document
Faulty parallelism
Sugarbush Ski Instruction
● Exciting
● Lots
of experience
● Enjoyable
● You’ll
have a great time!
Revising the document
Faulty parallelism
Elements of a list must have the same grammatical form.
Compare apples to apples.
The experiments will involve measuring velocity, sampling
the water quality, and to record the wind speed.
How would you revise?
Revising the document
Dangling modifier
What is wrong with these sentences?
Groundwater contamination is a major concern when designing
the geologic repository.
Varying from a simple lime softening system to a complex
electrodialysis reversal operation, the incidence of radium
in drinking water can be greatly reduced.
Based on these tests, we conclude that this option is not feasible.
How would you revise them?
Revising the document
Misplaced modifier
Revise these sentences:
Nailed to the fence, Julie read the sign.
Having eaten the remains of the zebra, we watched the lion
lick its chops.
Revising the document
3b. Grammar
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
 6.
 7.
8.
Idiomatic grammatical constructions
Syntax
Usage
Case
Verb form
References
Subject-verb agreement
Parts of speech
Revising the document
General pronoun reference
Antecedents of pronouns need to be unambiguous.
These conditions allow MTBE to travel quickly and with little
hindrance into the groundwater. This poses a huge problem
because the plume for MTBE is much longer than that for any
other gasoline product.
What is “This” in this passage?
Revising the document
Subject-verb agreement
What is wrong with this sentence?
Revising the document
3c. Word choice
1.
 2.
 3.
 4.
 5.
Wrong word
Too many words
Excessive compression
Diction
Active/passive voice
Revising the document
Too many words
15% of words in technical writing are unnecessary.
Unnecessary
Necessary
Source: Rehmann made this up.
Revising the document
Too many words
Shorten these sentences:
At this point in time, the firetrucks have not arrived at the airport.
In order to give an estimate of the dissipation, we made measurements
of the velocity with PIV, which is capable of achieving small-scale
resolution.
He utilized a saw to facilitate the cutting of the wood.
Upon visual inspection, there are three discernible regimes.
Revising the document
Too many words
Put action in verbs, not nouns. Clue: look for “of”.
In all cases the variable dispersion coefficient model provided
a much more accurate description of experimental results.
Electrodialysis reversal (EDR) uses electric current to
achieve removal of hardness and other ions.
Revising the document
Too many words
Just say it:
I am in a position to complete a purchase of a new car.
Due to the fact that he experienced a sudden illness, it was
necessary that the trip be cancelled.
You should have a discussion with Prof. Rehmann if you are
in a situation in which you have questions concerning the matter
of dimensional analysis.
Revising the document
Too many words
Don’t oversay it.
past memories
various differences
each individual
basic fundamentals
true facts
important essentials
future plans
terrible tragedy
end result
final outcome
free gift
past history
unexpected surprise
sudden crisis
very unique
large in size
often times
of a bright color
heavy in weight
period in time
round in shape
at an early time
economics field
of cheap quality
honest in character
of an uncertain condition
in a confused state
unusual in nature
extreme in degree
of a strange type
Revising the document
Too few words: excessive compression
Omit needless words, but don’t overdo it.
An efficient anti-aliasing spectral continuous window shifting
technique for PIV (article title)
Revising the document
Diction
Avoid slang:
This report will take an in-depth look at the Yucca
Mountain Project.
Avoid cliches:
These experiments go hand-in-hand with the numerical
simulations.
Don’t inflate your language:
The skier’s speed is dependent on many factors.
Revising the document
Diction
Don’t mix metaphors:
He is not the sharpest cookie in the jar.
You can beat a dead horse to water, but you can't make him drink.
That's the pot calling the kettle's bluff.
He's got too many oars in the fire.
It's not rocket surgery.
I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel.
The monkey is in your court.
Not to put her up on a limestone, but my sister is really terrific.
We are treading on thin water
We'll burn those bridges when we get to them.
Revising the document
Active/passive voice
Prefer the active voice:
The effect of flow length on longitudinal dispersivity was studied by Xu and
Eckstein (1995), and it was found that the dispersivity increases with length.
Xu and Eckstein (1995) studied the effect of flow length on longitudinal dispersivity
and found that the dispersivity increases with length.
The longitudinal dispersivity increases with flow length (Xu and Eckstein 1995).