Chapter 8: Summary, Paraphrase, and
Response in Reading an Essay
Michiko Kakutani, Pulitzer Prize winning book critic for The New York Times – master of the
Summary-Response
http://mije.org/sites/default/files/imagecache/one-third_column/aph/Michiko%20Kakutani.jpg
College students are often asked to summarize what they have read and to
respond. This type of essay is called the Summary-Response. Students are also
asked to paraphrase sentences, passages, or paragraphs from a text. Since the
Summary or Paraphrase, and the Response have a separate place in writing,
and are rarely mixed, lets’ take them one at a time.
Section 1. The Summary
In a Summary, the author briefly retells or summarizes an essay or story in
her own words. A Summary focuses more on the main events of the story or
the main ideas of the essay than on every detail. The main events or ideas
provide support for the Thesis Statement of the essay, as is true of all types of
essays we cover in this text. Here’s the key point: without understanding the
Thesis and Main Support Points of the essay or story, you will have difficulty
writing an effective Summary.
Here are the steps to use in reading to prepare to summarize an essay or
chapter in a college text:
1. Read the essay or chapter in the college text once through
carefully. The goal is to get a general idea of what the reading is
about.
2. Use a marker! Read the essay or chapter a second time while
completing the following:
a. Underline or highlight key passages in the reading.
b. Circle the key terms and put the definitions in the margin.
c. Put an exclamation point (!) in the margin next to especially
important sentences or terms. Briefly explain your reason
for the exclamation point in the margin.
d. Write a question mark (?) by any passages you don’t
understand or have questions about. Summarize your
question in the margin. You’ll want your professor, tutor, or
study partner to answer these questions before you write
your summary.
3. Review the essay or chapter with the goal of identifying the Thesis
Statement. Remember, the Thesis Statement has two parts: the
Topic (+) the Main Idea. As with other forms of writing, the
Topic is not that difficult to identify, but the Main Idea can be
tricky. It’s not enough, for example, to announce that you’ll be
summarizing the author’s essay on the war in Afghanistan or on
the recession; you must also find out what the author is trying to
prove about the war in Afghanistan or the recession – what the
author is trying to prove about the Topic: that’s the Main Idea.
In short, the Thesis Statement that you identify in your reading
should have both the Topic (what the author is writing about) and
the Main Idea (what he is proving about the Topic).
4. In your review of the essay or chapter, identify the main Support
Points the author uses to provide evidence for her Thesis
Statement. It’s very much like the Informal Outline that we
studied in each of the essay chapters in this text and applies to
every essay you read.
5. Using your notes, especially the Thesis Statement and main
Support Points, write the first draft of your Summary. To avoid
the temptation to copy the author’s writing (formally called
plagiarism*), avoid looking at the original essay while you are
writing the summary. Use only your notes to write the Summary.
6. Compare your draft to the original essay or chapter to make sure
your Summary includes the Thesis Statement and main Support
Points of the original essay. Your Summary should also have the
right amount of supporting detail for each Support Point. If in
comparing your Summary with the original, you find you have left
out an important detail, add the detail to your Summary.
Similarly, if you discover that you have a detail that does not
further the author’s support for her Thesis, remove the extra
detail. You can also add quotes in place of your wording as long as
the quotes are short and do not take over the primary
responsibility for the Summary, which is that it is your writing.
7. Compare your draft to the original essay one more time to make
sure your Summary has not copied the words, phrases, and the
sentence structure of the original (see plagiarism, footnote
below). When your wording is too much like the original, change
the wording or sentence structure, or put the words in quotes so
you are no longer accidently plagiarizing instead of summarizing.
8. In your final editing, carefully review your Summary for style and
grammar revisions.
*Plagiarism Defined:
“Using someone else's ideas or phrasing
and representing those ideas or phrasing as our own, either on
purpose or through carelessness, is a serious offense known as
plagiarism.” The consequences of deliberately using an
author’s words without quoting and citing her vary from failing
the essay assignment to failing the class to the most extreme
examples of failing out of college.
Dr. Charles Darling “Guide to Grammar & Writing”
Here’s an example Summary along with the Informal Outline that a student
writer put together based on an essay she read about a paintball birthday
party. The Summary does a good job of following the organizational principles
we’ll be covering in this chapter. Let’s take them one at a time.
Carina Mora
ENG 090
10/08/10
Summary
Informal Outline
Thesis Statement: Paintball birthday parties are bad for kids.
Support Point 1: Release of liability contract
Support Point 2: Injuries to kids while playing
Support Point 3: Cost
Summary: “Trigger-Happy Birthday”
(The footnotes in the Summary Essay given in the column on the left are
explained in the column on the right.)
1In
the first sentence of her Summary, the student
writer writes down the title and author of the
1The essay “Triggerstory she is summarizing (“The essay “TriggerHappy Birthday,”
Happy Birthday,” written by Kiku Adatto”). It’s
written by Kiku Adatto, critical that you begin each Summary you write by
2is about proving that
giving this information. Without it, the reader has
childhood is changing no context for your Summary and is lost from the
in modern America,
and that paintball
birthday parties are
bad for kids.3 Adatto
describes her
experience when she
took her twelve yearold son to a paintball
birthday party. 4aShe is
upset to find that
before her son can play
the game, she must
sign a release of
liability contract,
stating that the
company who owns
the paintball facility is
not responsible for any
injury to her son, or
even “permanent
disability and death."
4bAs she watches the
kids play, she notices
that several of the kids
were getting hurt, but
when she brought it up
with other parents,
they said it looked like
the kids were just
having fun. 4cNext
when Kiku visited the
gift shop, she saw that
the weapons were
from $250 to $750
each! Kiku was very
shocked to know that
people were actually
letting their kids play
like that and even have
start.
2Also
in the first sentence, the student writer gives
the Thesis Statement of the essay (“paintball
birthday parties are bad for kids”). Bringing the
Thesis Statement to the attention of your reader is
critical to writing an effective Summary. That’s
because the Thesis Statement guides or organizes
the supporting detail in the essay, and, similarly,
guides which supporting detail you’ll choose to
include in your Summary. In other words, the
Thesis tells you which detail is important and
which detail can be left out. After all, you are not
restating the author’s work; you are summarizing
it.
3It
is common in a short Summary to combine the
introduction with the Thesis Statement in one
sentence as our student-writer has done. The
Introduction has the title and author of the essay.
For example: “The essay “Trigger-Happy
Birthday,” written by Kiku Adatto…” This
Introductory phrase is followed by the Thesis
Statement of the essay: “…paintball birthday
parties are bad for kids.”
4aThe
student writer then summarizes the main
Support Points given in the essay, which she
identified in her Informal Outline as: 1) The
release of liability contract; 2) Injuries to kids
while playing, and 3) Cost. She gives enough detail
from the essay about each Support Point for the
reader to understand the author’s intent to prove
that “paintball birthday parties are bad for kids.”
4cThe
student writer concludes her Summary with
a highly effective technique in which she ties the
Conclusion to an earlier point made in the essay.
We refer to this method as “closing the circle,”
where the writer first brings up a concept early in
the essay, then brings closure to the same concept
in the Conclusion. In the above Summary, the
student writer brings up the “release of liability
contract” in her summary of the original author’s
first Support Point (“She was upset to find that
birthday parties there.
She would like to see
an age limit put on
who can participate in
paintball games, and
concludes her essay
with some satisfaction
writing that 5“…as for
the contract, I still
couldn't sign.”
before her son can play the game, she must sign a
release of liability contract.”)
5In
her Conclusion, she refers back to the same
release of liability contract: “As for the [release of
liability] contract, I still couldn't sign.”
Young soldiers in a paintball battle
http://cdn-write.demandstudios.com/upload//0000/200/90/9/299.jpg
Practice 1. The key to organizing an effective Summary is knowing the
author’s Thesis Statement (the Topic and Main Idea – what he
will prove about the Topic in the essay). Read the following
Summaries, and underline the sentence that gives the Thesis of
each book that is being summarized.
As you read, notice your thoughts, especially the three kinds of thoughts
covered in Chapter1:
1. Random Thoughts that just pop into your mind. “I wish I had some
coffee like the girl has at the table across the aisle. It sure looks good!” “I
wonder if it’s going to rain because I need to walk to the bus after class.”
“I’ve got to remember to call my mother this afternoon to see if I can
borrow the car,” and on and on.
2. Judgments about people, events in your life, or the essay. “This
essay [or just one idea in the essay] is good or bad, interesting or boring,
worthwhile, or worthless,” and so on.
3. Negative self-thoughts. “I’m not understanding any of this stuff
because I’ve never been any good at reading and never will be! It’s
better to give up now and cut my losses.”
Choose one instance as you read the passage when you had one of
above types of thoughts and record it here:
Practice letting go of the thought and bringing your attention back to the
reading.
Use the following scale to rate how difficult it was for you to let go of
the thought and return your attention to the reading.
_____ Easy
_____ Somewhat Easy
_____ Somewhat Hard
_____ Hard
1. Deception Point
The first chapters of the book, Deception Point, by Dan
Brown begin a complex and fast moving mystery thriller
with a torrent of seemingly unrelated events. The first is
an election going on between the sitting President and a
Senator Sexton. Senator Sexton has a daughter who is
working for the president. The President asks her to help
out with something NASA has discovered that is going to
change America. Another story line in the book is the
special force Delta-Air Force who is protecting a secret
project that is of incredible importance. The reader gets
a hint that the two plots lines have something important
in common and that will come together as the plot
unfolds.
Kirsten Ryder, Front Range Community College
2. Q School
In the book, Q School, John Feinstein writes about players and their
stories from a three week, tortuous tournament in which aspiring
players try to play their way into the “big leagues, big money, and
fame.” John Feinstein covered Q school, or “qualifying school,” back in
the 1970s when there were merely hundreds of players, until today
when there are thousands. The first two chapters discuss the reason
why people attend Q school, how the tournament is organized, and a
few players’ experiences. Some of the players have won majors back in
the 70s, but their game has gone downhill, and they are trying for one
last chance to play in the big leagues. Others are young and not as
gifted as Tiger Woods so they can immediately play on the tour, and
are trying just to make the tour. The tournament is organized into
three stages. If they are able to make it into the final stage and finish in
the top 30, then they receive their tour card for a year. Players old and
young put their skill on the line in this nerve racking final stage,
hoping they can stay calm and make the big shots. One shot hit in the
water can end their round and their chances for that year. With no one
watching and little prize money, aspiring players go at it, putting their
future on the line.
Robert Bastion, Front Range Community College
3. The Kite Runner
The opening chapters of the book, The Kite Runner, by
Khaled Hosseini, is a story of a boy named Amir who is
symbolic of the changing times throughout our lives and
how life can seem so simple and turn out to be quite the
opposite. Amir who was born into wealth grew up in
Pakistan in a wealthy neighborhood. Amir grew up with a
servant Ali and his son Hassan, who he did not think of as a
friend but was in turn the greatest friend he ever had.
Hassan thought very highly of Amir, in fact, “Amir” was the
first word out of Hassan’s mouth. They spent many
afternoons just playing about in the yard they were raised in.
The major difference in the two boys was that one was the
master and one the servant. The life that Amir was
accustomed to was all to change in the winter of 1975.
Jaron Brett, Front Range Community College
Two Common Mistakes in Writing Summaries
1. Too much detail
When you do not understand the Main Idea of an essay or chapter, the first
draft of your Summary is likely to have either too little or too much detail.
Moreover, the detail you choose might not Support the Thesis Statement,
giving the Summary a sense of being like a boat adrift. That’s because without
the Main Idea in mind, there is no point to the Summary. It’s like having a
friend who when she tells a story just goes on and on from detail to detail
without rhyme or reason. You feel like saying, “Get to the point!” She’s
rambling because she’s lost track of what she’s trying to prove! The famous
jazz singer, Mose Allison, put it this way in one of his songs about a frustrating
girlfriend: “Your mind’s on vacation, and your mouth is working overtime!”
In the following example, notice how the writer’s use of one detail after
another wanders, adrift from the Thesis Statement and quickly loses the
reader’s interest. We want to tell him to “get to the point!”
A Thousand Splendid Suns – A Summary
The first chapters of A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini take place
in Afghanistan in the 1980s. The two main settings are in the cities of Herati
and Kabul. One of the main characters goes by the name of Mariam. She and
her stepmother live on top of a hill far away from the rest of the townspeople
of Herati. Mariam’s mother is a very mean woman, and she always thought
Mariam would never have much or even deserve much. Mariam’s father is a
rich man in the town of Herati by the name if Jahlil. He goes and sees Mariam
every Thursday. Mariam was a cast-off when the father had an affair, and
Mariam was really an affair child and was not allowed to be around or seen in
public with her father.
One day when Mariam was fifteen, her mother forbid her to go into town,
telling her there was nothing there for her. Mariam didn’t listen that day and
wanted to find her father and see what her life could or should have been. All
she found was disappointment. She approached his palace, but his servants
wouldn’t let Mariam in. She had nowhere to go, so she stayed in front of the
gate. Finally, Jahlil’s driver took Mariam home and as they were pulling up, the
driver came to a screeching halt and made Mariam wait in the car. There,
hanging from the tree, was Mariam’s mother. Afterwards, Mariam was cold of
heart and felt no guilt because her mother told her not to go and looked at her
as nothing.
With the death of her mother, Mariam was sent to live with her father. Jahlil
had three wives and nine other children, and none of them were fond of
Mariam. She lived an isolated life surrounded by wealth that she could not
have and deprived of love.
After a few years, they told her she would be getting married and moving to
Kabul. She didn’t understand, but it was the fact that if Jahlil kept his love child
around, he would lose his social standing, and he didn’t want that to happen.
Neither did his three wives want the affair child around, so they figured
having her married would be a good way of getting rid of her. Mariam’s
wedding ceremony was being set up so she would marry a shoemaker by the
name of Rasheed about thirty years older than her. He was a pretty good
tailor, but that was all he was. His son had passed away and so had his first
wife. When Mariam saw him, she was disgusted and did not want to be
married to the tailor. Jahlil, her father, had nothing to say to her and made her
leave on the bus to never be seen again. She begins a life with a man who
treats her even worse than Jahlil’s family.
******
An effective Summary does not retell the story one detail at a time, but rather
summarizes the Thesis Statement and Main Points along with the supporting
detail necessary to prove the Thesis Statement. Taking the same book, let’s
review a Summary that keeps the Main Idea in mind and selects the main
events of the story that serve to provide evidence for the Main Idea instead of
a long series of detail. Notice how much shorter and more effective the
Summary is and easier to follow.
“A Woman’s Lot in Kabul, Lower Than a House Cat’s”
In the book, A Thousand Splendid Suns, Khaled Hosseini quickly
makes it clear that he intends to deal with the plight of women in
Afghanistan, and in the opening pages the mother of one of the
novel’s two heroines talks portentously about “our lot in life,” the lot
of poor, uneducated “women like us” who have to endure the
hardships of life, the slights of men, the disdain of society.
This…opening quickly gives way to tragic events: after her mother
commits suicide, the teenage Mariam — the illegitimate daughter of
a wealthy man, who is ashamed of her existence — is quickly
married off to a much older shoemaker named Rasheed, a piggy
brute of a man who says it embarrasses him “to see a man who’s lost
control of his wife.” [She is forced to marry a man…] who subjects
her to scorn, ridicule, insults, even “walking past her like she was
nothing but a house cat.”
Michiko Kakutani, New York Times, May 29, 2007.
The second Summary has a few well chosen sentences, each supporting the
Main Idea of the book that “women in traditional Afghan society are
oppressed.” The second Summary does not wander, giving a clear idea of the
original author’s work, with nothing of importance left out.
2. Inserting your own opinion
A second mistake in writing a Summary is when the author inserts her own
opinion about, or in evaluation of, the essay. Summaries must not include
thoughts like the following:
“This story is really exciting!”
“This story is really boring!”
“I’m really learning a lot from this essay.”
“This essay has nothing new to say.”
“I can’t understand what the author is trying to say.”
The Summary is not the time for thoughts about how good or bad the essay is.
The goal in writing a summary is to understand what the essay is trying to say,
and your opinions get in the way of understanding. The time for opinions is in
the Response and never in the Summary.
Practice 2. Each of the following short summaries has an opinion injected
within. Find and mark the opinion in Red Type (if you’re not
using a computer, use (parentheses). Also, underline the Thesis
Statement.
As you read, notice your thoughts, especially the three kinds of thoughts
covered in Chapter1:
1. Random Thoughts that just pop into your mind. “I wish I had some
coffee like the girl has at the table across the aisle. It sure looks good!” “I
wonder if it’s going to rain because I need to walk to the bus after class.”
“I’ve got to remember to call my mother this afternoon to see if I can
borrow the car,” and on and on.
2. Judgments about people, events in your life, or the essay. “This
essay [or just one idea in the essay] is good or bad, interesting or boring,
worthwhile, or worthless,” and so on.
3. Negative self-thoughts. “I’m not understanding any of this stuff
because I’ve never been any good at reading and never will be! It’s
better to give up now and cut my losses.”
Choose one instance as you read the passage when you had one of
above types of thoughts and record it here:
Practice letting go of the thought and bringing your attention back to the
reading.
Use the following scale to rate how difficult it was for you to let go of
the thought and return your attention to the reading.
_____ Easy
_____ Somewhat Easy
_____ Somewhat Hard
_____ Hard
Passage 1. Something Borrowed
The first chapters of the book, Something Borrowed, by Emily Griffin are a
really interesting story about love and best friends. Rachel, the main
character, is a successful lawyer at a major New York law firm who hates her
job. Rachel’s best friend, Darcy, has been her friend since elementary school.
Darcy throws a surprise 30th birthday party at a fancy club for Rachel. Rachel,
the good girl, has one too many drinks and finds herself in bed with Darcy’s
fiancé, Dexter. Dexter and Rachel conspire to keep the ensuing love affair a
secret from everyone including her best friend. The terrible secret forces
Rachel to live a double life while being supportive of Darcy and even her
approaching wedding to Dexter. I had the exact same feelings as Rachel and
hoped she would finally get what she had wanted for so long.
Passage 2. The Tipping Point
In the first chapters of the book, The Tipping Point, the author Malcolm
Gladwell focuses on how little things can make a big difference. In the
introduction, he brings in the rise of Hush Puppies and the fall of New York’s
crime rate as examples of how little things can make big changes, just like
epidemics. He compares the changes as the spread of a virus in action. The
name that he has given to that one dramatic moment in epidemics when
everything can change at once is “the tipping point.” In the following chapter,
he brings in examples of the tipping point for violent crime in New York in the
early 1990s, and for the reemergence of Hush Puppies. He confirms that the
world of the tipping point is a place where the unexpected becomes expected,
and where radical change is more than a possibility. In the second chapter,
Gladwell brings in the examples of epidemics like HIV. I really like the way he
uses viruses to make his point since they spread so quickly, but I thought he
spent too much time on HIV, which is not yet at a “tipping point.”
Passage 3. Marley and Me (Summary of Chapter 1)
In the first chapter of the book, Marley and Me, the author John Grogan tells
about his childhood, setting the stage for a story of how important a dog can
be in the life of a family. He remembers when his father got him a loving
puppy that he named Shaun. He tells the story about the difference the dog
made in his life, and how he set a good example; mastering every command,
racing cars without chasing them, and walking by his side without a leash.
Shaun also loved to riding in the car and sitting quietly in the backseat content
to spend hours gazing out the window at the passing world. I especially liked
how the boy was so proud of his dog, “Saint Shaun,” as he came to call him,
because I was really proud of my dog when I was a kid. Grogan’s relatives
after visiting for the weekend were determined to buy a dog of their own, so
impressed were they with Shaun. The love affair lasted fourteen years, and by
the time Shaun died, Grogan was no longer the little boy who had brought him
home on that summer day. He was getting ready to go to college, have a family
of his own, and get a dog for his family.
Section 2. The Paraphrase
A second way to reflect back what you have read is called a Paraphrase. A
Paraphrase puts the meaning of a sentence, passage, or paragraph from a
reading into your own words and with your own sentence structure. That’s
why another name for a Paraphrase is an “Indirect Quote.” In fact, you must
cite a Paraphrase just as direct quotes need to be cited.
Here’s an important difference between in a paraphrase and a summary:
 The writer of a summary does not restate every sentence and idea, but
builds the summary only around those sentences that are important in
proving the Main Idea. She leaves other sentences and ideas out of the
summary. For example, she might summarize a ten page essay into only
one or two paragraphs.
 The writer of a paraphrase, on the other hand, puts each sentence in the
original passage into his own words. That’s why paraphrases are based
on short passages or single paragraphs, where a summary is based on
long passages or entire essays.
The real trick when paraphrasing an author’s ideas is to avoid crossing the
line into plagiarism1. Even if you do not intend to plagiarize, the author’s
words and sentence structure can still slip into your paraphrase based on
memory of what you read. Make sure, therefore, to compare your paraphrase
with the original, and change any sentences and even phrases that are too
much like the original2.
1Dr.
Charles Darling in his on-line “Guide to Grammar & Writing,” defines plagiarism as
“Using someone else's ideas or phrasing and representing those ideas or phrasing as
our own, either on purpose or through carelessness, is a serious offense known as
plagiarism.”
2Even
though a paraphrase must have your own words and sentence structure, it’s okay
to repeat key terms from the original, for example, “the healthcare debate,” “the Iraq
War,” or “inflationary spiral.”
Here are some examples of how to paraphrase passages that you’ve read.
Example 1. "Myths and Realities of the American Family"
Original Passage
Women today still earn less than
men — so much less that many
single mothers and their children
live near or below the poverty line.
Elaine Tyler May argues that this
situation stems in part from "the
fiction that men earn the family
Paraphrase
By and large, our economy still
operates on the mistaken belief
that men are the main
breadwinners in the family. Thus,
women continue to earn lower
wages than men. This means that
many single mothers cannot earn
wage" (588). May further suggests
that the American workplace still
operates on the assumption that
mothers with children stay home
to care for them, even though few
mothers can afford to do so, childcare facilities in the United States
remain woefully inadequate.
enough to support their children.
And because work is still
organized around the belief that
mothers take care of the children,
there are not enough child-care
services.
Here’s a sentence-by-sentence analysis of the student’s Paraphrase 3, which
does not plagiarize the original author:
Section 1: Original
Because women's wages often
continue to reflect the fiction that
men earn the family wage, single
mothers rarely earn enough to
support themselves and their
children adequately.
Section 1: Paraphrase
By and large, our economy still
operates on the mistaken belief
that men are the main
breadwinners in the family. Thus,
women continue to earn lower
wages than men. This means that
many single mothers cannot earn
enough to support their children.
Notice that instead of copying the author’s words, the student writer uses his
own words. For example:
 Because
 the fiction
is changed to
is changed to
 men earn the family wage
breadwinners in the family.
by and large.
mistaken belief.
is changed to
men are the main
 single mothers rarely earn enough to support themselves and their
children adequately
is changed to
many single mothers cannot
earn enough to support their children.
The student writer not only changes the wording, he also alters the sentence
structure. Instead of beginning with a Subordinate Clause (Because women's
wages often continue to reflect the fiction that men earn the family wage)
followed by a Main Clause (single mothers rarely earn enough to support
themselves and their children adequately), he uses three separate sentences
in his paraphrase.
 By and large, our economy still operates on the mistaken belief that men
are the main breadwinners in the family.
 Thus, women continue to earn lower wages than men.
 This means that many single mothers cannot earn enough to support
their children.
These are the type of changes you make when paraphrasing by using different
words and different sentence structures. The same is true of the second part
of the student paraphrase:
Section 2: Original
May further suggests that the
American workplace still operates
on the assumption that mothers
with children stay home to care for
them, even though few mothers
can afford to do so, child-care
facilities in the United States
remain woefully inadequate.
Section 2: Paraphrase
And because work is still
organized around the belief that
mothers take care of the children,
there are not enough child-care
services.
In Section 2 of the Paraphrase, the student writer makes the following
changes to words and sentence structure while keeping the meaning the
same.
 May further suggests that the American workplace still operates on the
assumption that mothers with children stay home to care for them
is changed to
And because work is still organized around the belief
that mothers take care of the children.
 child-care facilities in the United States remain woefully inadequate
is changed to
there are not enough child-care services.
Again, these are excellent changes making for an effective Paraphrase that
does not plagiarize the original.
Section 3. The Response
Oftentimes in college courses, you will be asked to not only write a Summary
of an assigned reading, but also a Response. Unlike a Summary, the Response
features your opinion about the essay you read. An effective Response should
answer some or all of the following questions:
a. How did the essay make you think or feel?
b. What ideas or concepts do you agree or disagree with?
(Be specific – It’s not enough to say, “I disagree with the author’s
attitude about alcohol.” You must also say why you disagree and
provide support for your position from the original work.)
c. What are the strengths and/or weaknesses in the support
paragraphs?
Where does the Support provide strong evidence for the Thesis
Statement, and where and how does the Support come up short?
It’s not enough to say, “The author’s support in the section on
drugs was weak.” The Response must also provide examples from
the essay that support that position.
d. What is your evaluation of the quality of the essay, both the
writing and the message?
Your evaluation should give examples with quotes taken from the
original work to support the evaluation.
e. The Response can also include experiences from your own
life that you are reminded of in reading the essay.
Make sure to include detail from your experience that illustrate
the similarities or differences with the events described in the
essay.
The writing below is an example of a Response based on the Summary
“Paintball Birthday” that we discussed at the beginning of the chapter. The
student-writer is successful because she uses many of the techniques outlined
above. Notice also that she uses evaluative wording (we’ve put the evaluative
wording in bold type). It’s the evaluative wording that lets the reader know
your opinion.
Here are some examples of evaluative phrases often used in a Response:








“I agree…”
“The author chose correctly…”
“Especially effective was…”
“I liked…”
“I appreciated…”
“The support was excellent…”
“The writing was confusing…”
“The sentences were beautiful to read…”
Of course, the opposite of each evaluative phrase can also be used. Remember,
evaluative wording is never used in a Summary!
Example of a Response Essay
Carina Mora
ENG 090
10/08/10
Response Essay
Response to the Essay, “Trigger-Happy Birthday,” by Kiku Adatto
(The Response is in the left column with footnotes that mark the evaluative comments (in
green font), explained in the right column.)
1I
agree with the author
that paintball is bad for
kids to play because not
only are they at risk of
injury, possibly serious,
they are also learning
how to use weapons.
This can lead to more
violence in the future.
This essay 2made me
think about how kids
are learning to be violent
when they grow up.
Adatto 3chose correctly
by not signing for her
son to go to the birthday
party. I 4liked that
Adatto supported her
position against
paintball for children by
giving the reader an
informative story of her
own experience taking
her son to a paintball
birthday. 5Especially
effective was her quote
from the Release of
Liability contract, which
limits the company’s
liability in the case of
“injury or death.” Who
would want to expose
their child to this kind of
danger? 6I also liked the
author’s writing style,
which was informal and
written in the voice of a
concerned mother. In the
essay, 7I appreciated
1The
student-writer begins her Response by
writing: “I agree [emphasis added] with the
author that paintball is bad for kids.” She
supports this position by writing: “[in
playing paintball] kids are learning to be
violent.”
2The
belief that the essay “made me think” is
an evaluation and so belongs in the Response
and not the Summary.
3Next,
the student-writer uses the evaluative
phrase “Adatto chose correctly by not
signing for her son to go to the birthday
party.”
4The
phrase “I liked” shows the studentwriter’s approval for Adatto’s position and
her method of communicating that position
in the essay.
5The
wording, “Especially effective,” shows
the student-writer’s evaluation of the
effectiveness of the author’s use of a quote to
provide support for her Thesis Statement.
6Next,
the student-writer evaluates the
author’s writing style: “I also liked the
author’s writing style, which was informal
and written in the voice of a concerned
mother.” It is important that a Response not
only evaluate the effectiveness of the
author’s Thesis Statement and Support, but
also the quality of her writing. Notice that the
Student-Writer first states that she “likes the
writing style,” and then gives support for this
evaluation: “[the writing was] informal and
that Adatto comes to her
opinion through her
experience portrayed in
the narrative rather than
by prejudging paintball
to be bad from the start.
8I really enjoyed the
essay, and through
reading it I am
determined to protect
my own children from
the risks of paintball.
written in the voice of a concerned mother.”
7Again,
the student-writer voices her
“appreciation” for the method the author
used (her experience at a paintball Birthday
party) to communicate her position on the
paintball issue.
8The
student-writer signals that she “really
enjoyed” the essay, and signals her
“determination” to follow the author’s
advice.
A Paintball Birthday party
http://uk-paintball-directory.co.uk/img/packages-gallery/7.jpg
Practice 3. Writing your own Summary-Response Essay
Graded Assignment: Read the following essay, “The Dare” by Roger
Hoffmann. Follow the steps outlined at the beginning of the chapter (Click
Here). After you understand the Thesis Statement and main Support Points of
the essay, write a Summary-Response based on the essay. Remember to
separate your Summary from your Response and label both. You will be
writing about a two-thirds to one page Summary, followed by a half-page
Response.
Use the following essay as the basis for your Summary-Response:
The Essay
The Dare
By Roger Hoffmann
The secret to diving under a moving freight train
and rolling out of the other side with all your
parts attached lies in picking the right spot
between the tracks to hit with your back. Ideally,
you want soft dirt or pea gravel, clear of glass
shards and railroad spikes that could cause you
instinctively, and fatally, to sit up. Today, at thirtyeight, I couldn't be threatened or baited enough to
attempt that dive. But as a seventh grader
struggling to make the cut in a tough Atlanta
grammar school, all it took was a dare.
I coasted through my first years of school as a
fussed-over smart kid, the teacher's pet who
finished his work first and then strutted around
the room tutoring other students. By the seventh
grade, I had more A's than friends. Even my old
cronies, Dwayne and O. T., made it clear I'd never
be one of the guys in junior high if I didn't dirty up
my act. They challenged me to break the rules,
and I did. The I-dare-you's escalated: shoplifting,
sugaring teachers' gas tanks, dropping lighted
matches into public mailboxes. Each guerrilla act
won me the approval I never got for just being
smart.
Walking home by the railroad tracks after school,
we started playing chicken with oncoming trains.
O. T., who was failing that year, always won. One
afternoon he charged a boxcar from the side,
stopping just short of throwing himself between
the wheels. I was stunned. After the train
disappeared, we debated whether someone could
dive under a moving car, stay put for a 10-count,
Your Notes
then scramble out the other side. I thought it
could be done and said so. O. T. immediately
stepped in front of me and smiled. Not by me, I
added quickly, I certainly didn't mean that I could
do it. "A smart guy like you," he said, his smile
evaporating, "you could figure it out easy." And
then, squeezing each word for effect, "I ...DARE.
..you." I'd just turned twelve. The monkey clawing
my back was Teacher's Pet. And I'd been dared.
As an adult, I've been on both ends of life's
implicit business and social I-dare-you's, although
adults don't use those words. We provoke with
body language, tone of voice, ambiguous phrases.
I dare you to: argue with the boss, tell Fred what
you think of him, send the wine back. Only rarely
are the risks physical. How we respond to dares
when we are young may have something to do
with which of the truly hazardous male inner
dares -- attacking mountains, tempting bulls at
Pamplona -- we embrace or ignore as men.
For two weeks, I scouted trains and tracks. I
studied moving boxcars close up, memorizing
how they squatted on their axles, never getting
used to the squeal or the way the air felt hot from
the sides. I created an imaginary, friendly train
and ran next to it. I mastered a shallow, head-first
dive with a simple half-twist. I'd land on my back,
count to ten, imagine wheels and, locking both
hands on the rail to my left, heave myself over and
out. Even under pure sky, though, I had to fight to
keep my eyes open and my shoulders between the
rails.
The next Saturday, O. T., Dwayne and three eighth
graders met me below the hill that backed up to
the lumberyard. The track followed a slow bend
there and opened to a straight, slightly uphill
climb for a solid third of a mile. My run started
two hundred yards after the bend. The train
would have its tongue hanging out.
The other boys huddled off to one side, a circle on
another planet, and watched quietly as I doubleknotted my shoelaces. My hands trembled. O. T.
broke the circle and came over to me. He kept his
hands hidden in the pockets of his jacket. We
looked at each other. BB's of sweat appeared
beneath his nose. I stuffed my wallet in one of his
pockets, rubbing it against his knuckles on the
way in, and slid my house key, wired to a red-andwhite fishing bobber, into the other. We backed
away from each other, and he turned and ran to
join the four already climbing up the hill.
I watched them all the way to the top. They
clustered together as if I were taking their picture.
Their silhouette resembled a round shouldered
tombstone. They waved down to me, and I
dropped them from my mind and sat down on the
rail. Immediately, I jumped back. The steel was
vibrating.
The train sounded like a cow going short of
breath. I pulled my shirt tail out and looked down
at my spot, then up the incline of track ahead of
me. Suddenly the air went hot, and the engine was
by me. I hadn't pictured it moving that fast. A
man's bare head leaned out and stared at me. I
waved to him with my left hand and turned into
the train, burying my face into the incredible
noise. When I looked up, the head was gone.
I started running alongside the boxcars. Quickly, I
found their pace, held it, and then eased off,
concentrating on each thick wheel that cut past
me. I slowed another notch. Over my shoulder, I
picked my car as it came off the bend, locking in
the image of the white mountain goat painted on
its side. I waited, leaned forward like the anchor
in a 440-relay, wishing the baton up the track
behind me. Then the big goat fired by me, and I
was flying and then tucking my shoulder as I
dipped under the train.
A heavy blanket of red dust settled over me. I felt
bolted to the earth. Sheet-metal bellies thundered
and shook above my face. Count to ten, a voice
said, watch the axles and look to your left for
daylight. But I couldn't count, and I couldn't find
left if my life depended on it, which it did. The
colors overhead went from brown to red to black
to red again. Finally, I ripped my hands free,
forced them to the rail, and, in one convulsive
jerk, threw myself into the blue light.
I lay there face down until there was no more
noise, and I could feel the sun against the back of
my neck. I sat up. The last ribbon of train was
slipping away in the distance. Across the tracks, O.
T. was leading a cavalry charge down the hill, five
very small, galloping boys, their fists whirling
above them. I pulled my knees to my chest. My
corduroy pants puckered wet across my thighs. I
didn't care.
Copyright © Roger Hoffmann
http://sites.actx.edu/~waguespack_m/dare.htm
Here’s how to format your Summary-Response Essay: At the opening of
your essay, single space your name, the course, date, and something that
identifies which assignment it is (“Summary-Response Essay,” for example) in
the upper left hand corner. You will also need a title. Capitalize the first letter
in each word of your title (except for a, the, at, of, in and to, unless one of these
words begins the title). Center the title above the essay. Make sure to double-
space the text of the essay (Use ctrl-A, then ctrl-2). Also, make sure your essay
is in 11 or 12 point type with 1 inch margins.
A. Steps to complete the Summary:
1. Read the essay or chapter in the college text once through carefully. The
goal is to get a general idea of what the reading is about.
2. Read the essay or chapter a second time while completing the following:
a. Underline or highlight key passages in the reading.
b. Circle the key terms and put the definitions in the margin.
c. Put an exclamation point (!) in the margin next to especially
important sentences or terms. Briefly explain your reason for the
exclamation point in the margin.
d. Write a question mark (?) by any passages you don’t understand
or have questions about. Summarize your question in the margin.
You’ll want your professor, tutor, or study partner to answer
these questions before you write your summary.
3. Review the essay or chapter with the goal of identifying the Thesis
Statement. Remember, the Thesis Statement has two parts: the Topic
and the Main Idea. As with other forms of writing, the Topic is not that
difficult to identify, but the Main Idea can be tricky. It’s not enough, for
example, to announce that you’ll be summarizing the author’s essay on
the war in Afghanistan or on the recession; you must also find out what
the author is trying to prove about the war in Afghanistan or the
recession – what the author is trying to prove about the Topic: that’s the
Main Idea.
In short, the Thesis Statement that you identify in your reading should
have both the Topic (what the author is writing about) and the Main
Idea (what he is proving about the Topic).
4. In your review of the essay or chapter, identify the main Support Points
the author uses to provide evidence for her Thesis Statement. It’s very
much like the Informal Outline that we studied in each of the essay
chapters in this text and applies to every essay you read.
5. Using your notes, especially the Thesis Statement and main Support
Points, write the first draft of your Summary. To avoid the temptation to
copy the author’s writing (formally called plagiarism*), avoid looking at
the original essay while you are writing the summary. Use only your
notes to write the Summary.
6. Compare your draft to the original essay or chapter to make sure your
Summary includes the Thesis Statement and main Support Points of the
original essay. Your Summary should also have the right amount of
supporting detail for each Support Point. If in comparing your Summary
with the original, you find you have left out an important detail, add the
detail to your Summary.
Similarly, if you discover that you have a detail that does not further the
author’s support for her Thesis, remove the extra detail. You can also
add quotes in place of your wording as long as the quotes are short and
do not take over the primary responsibility for the Summary, which is
that it is your writing.
7. Compare your draft to the original essay one more time to make sure
your Summary has not copied the words, phrases, and the sentence
structure of the original (see plagiarism, footnote below). When your
wording is too much like the original, change the wording or sentence
structure, or put the words in quotes so you are no longer accidently
plagiarizing instead of summarizing.
8. In your final editing, carefully review your Summary for style and
grammar revisions.
B. Steps to complete the Response -- Using the original essay or story
and your draft Summary, complete a draft of the Response. The Response
should answer the following questions:
a. How did the essay make you think or feel?
b. What ideas or concepts do you agree or disagree with? (be specific – It’s
not enough to say, “I disagreed with the author’s attitude towards
alcohol.” You must also say why you disagreed and provide support for
your position.)
c. What are the strengths and/or weaknesses in the author’s support
paragraphs? (Provide examples from the essay that support your
position.)
d. What's your evaluation of the quality of the essay -- the writing and the
message? (Give examples with quotes taken from the writing to support
your position.)
e. What experiences in your own life were you reminded of in reading the
essay? (Bring in detail from your experience that illustrates the
similarities between your experience and the events described in the
essay.)
As a final review of your Summary-Response, complete the Grammar and
Style Checklist (Click Here), by checking carefully for each type of error in
your essay. Correct the errors and place an “X” by each type of error you
checked for. Turn in the Grammar Checklist with your final essay. Attach the
Grammar Checklist in a separate file with your essay.
Chapter Review Questions
1. Put in your own words the definition of a Summary given in the chapter.
(Click Here for Chapter Review of a Summary)
2. What is the first step in reading an essay in preparation for writing a
summary?
For questions 2-6, (Click Here for Review of steps in writing a Summary)
3. In reading an essay or chapter in a text, in preparation for writing a
summary what do you put an exclamation point (!) by?
4. In reading an essay or chapter in a text, what do you put a question mark (?)
by?
5. On your second reading of an essay, what should you identify? (multiple
choice)
a.
b.
c.
d.
The introduction and main idea
The introduction and thesis statement
The thesis statement and main support points
The main support points and the conclusion
6. Why is it a good idea when you write your summary to cover up the
original essay or chapter in a text?
7. How does the chapter define a Paraphrase?
(Click Here for Review in writing a Paraphrase)
8. What is an important difference between a Summary and a Paraphrase?
(multiple choice)
a. A Summary only includes ideas that provide evidence for the Main Point
or Thesis Statement. A Paraphrase puts all sentences into your own
words.
b. A Summary puts all sentences into your own words. A Paraphrase only
includes ideas that provide evidence for the Main Point or Thesis
Statement.
c. A Summary adds different support sentences than a paraphrase to the
support for the original essay.
d. A Summary takes away different support sentences than a paraphrase
from the support in the original essay.
9. Put in your own words how the chapter defines a Response.
10. Which of the following is not usually included in a Response?
a.
b.
c.
d.
“The author chose correctly…”
“I liked…”
“The writing was confusing…”
The author would like to see an age limit put on who can participate in
paintball games.
10. What type of writing has evaluation and judgment as an important part?
For example: What the essay made you think about or feel; Your evaluation of
the quality of the essay.
(multiple choice)
a. Summary
b. Paraphrase
c. Response