How to Write Your Thesis Statement
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Your thesis statement is one sentence that sums up the argument of your essay. When you
write your thesis statement, you are telling your audience what you are going to prove in the
essay.
Your thesis is always the last sentence of the introductory paragraph. The reason for this is
because you want your audience to keep your goal in mind as they begin to read your body
paragraphs (the evidence)
Think of a thesis statement like a formula (like in math):
o Subject + Opinion = Thesis Statement
Thesis Analysis
Directions: In each of the thesis statements below, identify and label the subject and the opinion.
Strong Examples of Thesis Statements:
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Bullying in schools is a serious problem that negatively impacts student learning, puts students’
safety at risk, and could be prevented.
The current rise in school violence is caused by exposure to violent media, poor access to mental
health services, and easy access to firearms.
Down syndrome is an autosomal genetic disease that has several symptoms, is not curable, is caused by
nondisjunction and has major effects on most body systems.
Weak Examples of Thesis Statements
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Diabetes is a harmful disease that impacts many people. (an obvious fact)
In this essay, I am going to talk about the Mexican American war and its causes and effects (an
announcement).
Bullying in schools is a really serious problem (too broad).
Once you have done some research, and you know something about your subject, write your thesis
sentence below :
_____________________________ + ______________________________________________________
(Subject)
______________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________
(Opinion)
How To Write an Essay Hook
Make your teacher react like this…..
….instead of like this 
Your essay must have a “hook” in the introduction to give your paper an interesting start and draw in
your reader. Without an engaging hook, your reader might be bored right from the very beginning.
(Ouch!) You’ve worked hard to gather all of the research for your essay, and you want your reader to
actually learn something – A well-written hook can ensure that all of your hard work does not go to
waste. Check out the difference between these two introductory paragraphs on Abraham Lincoln.
Which one is more interesting to read?
Intro #1
Abraham Lincoln accomplished many great things during his time as president of the United States. He
saw the United States through the Civil War, helping to keep the country from falling apart and signed
the Emancipation Proclamation, freeing all the African Americans in the United States from slavery.
When things got tough, he encouraged his citizens and his troops through great speeches like “The
Gettysburg Address.” And, finally, as both a political leader and a military leader, he led in a way that
emphasized wisdom through shared responsibility and discussion. Abraham Lincoln was one of the great
presidents of the United States.
Intro #2
He stood on a grassy hill beneath a clear blue sky in the soft breeze of spring. Around him, the birds
chattered in the trees, completely oblivious. They did not see the stains that lay strewn across the field.
They paid no attention as the men, with grim and dirty faces, removed the last of the bodies. They were
children—or, at least, they seemed so to him. His countrymen killing one another. He closed his eyes and
sighed. At that moment, he did not know that, with the help of his decisions and the influence of his
character on those around him, the slaves would soon be free and the Union would be restored. He did
not understand how history would remember Abraham Lincoln—as one of the greatest presidents in
American history.
Types of Essay Hooks You Can Use
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Setting the scene – Use imagery and figurative language to transport your reader to a scene that
gets them involved in your topic right from the very first sentence
o Example: Check out the Abraham Lincoln sample above
Anecdote – Use a brief personal story to introduce your reader to your topic and capture the essence
of the issue or situation.
o Example: A small-town mother wanted to buy a pair of shoes for her child. She went out to
her favorite local shoe store, only to discover that they had closed due to the popularity of
discount giant, Wal-Mart. Huge stores like Wal-Mart are running the changes of small
businesses to succeed.
Quotation – Use a voice that is not your own to speak to the issue or topic
o Example: John Kennedy once said, “Ask not what your country can do for you. Ask what you
can do for your country.” His quote inspired every American to take initiative and do their
civic duty to make the United States a better place to be. The participants of the Civil Rights
movement exemplified this statement when they risked mistreatment, ridicule, and danger
to right for the rights of all Americans.
News – Give the reader the who-what-where-why-when of a situation or issue
o Example: Heart disease is the number one killer in the United States and many want to
know why. Some scientists blame fast food restaurants for the recent rise in the number of
unhealthy Americans. In 2008, a few towns even made fast food illegal in their city limits!
However, it may not be possible to identify just one culprit in this battle
Surprising Fact – Use a fact or statistic that will immediately grab your reader’s interest because it’s
so shocking.
o Example: Every day, one in four Americans visits a fast food restaurant. In fact, people in the
United States spend more money on fast food than on education!
Some Hooks to Avoid
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Announcement: Don’t tell the reader what you are going to say in the essay
o Example: In this paper, I am going to prove….My first example is…..
Dictionary Definition: Avoid using only a definition to open your essay. This is cliché and has been done too
many times.
o Example: Dictionary.com describes conformity as….
Asking a Question: It’s difficult to do this technique well, and question hooks tend to be too generic.
o Example: Have you ever known someone who had diabetes?
A cliché’ phrase: Cliché’s are not effective because they have been overused and aren’t original.
o Example: We’ve all heard the expression “Better safe than sorry” But is that true of today’s airline
security procedures?)
A lead that isn’t focused: The reader gets lost and confused before the writer has even started the essay.
o Example: Adoption programs in his country have some flaws. They aren’t completely bad, but they
need to be dealt with. There are a couple things I’m concerned about, even though, overall, adoption
is a good thing
Transition Words
A transition is a word or phrase that helps your writing flow from one idea to the next. Transitions are
signals that help readers follow your logical reasoning.
Setting up an
example or detail:
Sequencing
supporting ideas
and commentary:
For example
For instance
Accordingly
As illustrated by
Such as
Specifically
To clarify
As exemplified by
As demonstrated by
First  Second  Third  Last
One  Another  Also  Finally
In the first place  Furthermore  After that  Later on  At last
First  Next  Then  Last
One  Additionally  Equally important
To begin  Then  Consequently
At first  After that  Finally
One terrible  Worse  The worst
It started when  As a result  Then  Therefore
One way  Another option  A final method
Quantity Words (for
Enumeration):
Occasion / Position
Words:
Concluding words:
Numerous
A plethora of
Several
A variety of
Some
A number of
A vast amount of
A multitude of
Three/Four/Five…
A couple of
Various
A myriad of
If
Whenever
After
Although
During
As long as
Throughout
While
Until
Since
In order to
Wherever
Before
Whether
Even though
Clearly
In fact
In conclusion
Ultimately
Definitely
Overall
In effect
As a result
Certainly
For these reasons
All in all
Indeed
Altogether
Thus
Consequently
Truly
In summation
Due to
Blending Quotes Made Easy
OVERVIEW
There are many ways to utilize quotes in your writing. Quotes can be used as evidence to support your
opinion or perspective on a given topic. They can also be used as a ‘spring board’ from which to ‘dive
into’ your analysis. Most students have difficulty is in how to blend them effectively and fluidly into
their writing. Below are list of verbs and sentence starters you can use to seamlessly integrate quotes
into your writing.
Making Quotations Natural
Blend quotes smoothly into your writing. Do not just drop a quotation into your paper and hope it fits.
An irrelevant quotation is worse than no quotation at all. You need to surround your quotation with
your own words to give it a home.
Higher Order Thinking! The PURPOSE for Using Quotes in the First Place!
The purpose of integrating quotations into your writing is to:
 Demonstrate that you have a firm grasp on your topic
 Prove that your assertion is valid
 Strengthen your credibility to the reader
Textual evidence can be incredibly powerful, but only if you EXPLICITLY explain to your reader how it
supports your assertion. This is called commentary or analysis. You need to connect…the…dots! Don’t
assume your readers will reach the conclusion you intend; make the connection for them.
Check out these examples for some possible ways to blend and integrate quotes
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According to some, dreams express “profound aspects of personality”(Foulkes 184). Conversely,
some disagree….
According to Foulkes's study, dreams reveal “our inner most nature” as well as, “deeper aspects
of our psychological components” (184-185).
Baudelaire reveals his view of poets in the phrase, “this prince of clouds,” (4,2). The point is
made evident that poets are akin to celestial beings who have a broader, more penetrating
perspective of life.
Verbs you can use to introduce quotes are……
Argues
points out
states
Comments
suggests
insists
Claims
tells
notes
Concludes
implies
remarks
says
observes
explains
believes
thinks
reveals
Malcolm X suggests……..
This statement points out……..
Here the author notes……
It is suggested here…….
Marshall Cohen clearly argues and points out……
Stevie Wonder observes and comments……
Transitional phrases to introduce textual evidence:
According to the text…….
On page___ the author(name) states…………..
The point is made evident when……
The narrator describes/explains……..
This becomes clear when…….
Sentence starters to introduce textual evidence:
According to the text…….
On page___ the author(name) states…………..
The point is made evident when……
The narrator describes/explains……..
This becomes clear when…….
In chapter___ it explains/becomes evident…….
Transitional phrase to introduce your commentary and analysis:
In view of this…..
With this in mind……
Clearly,………
Similarly….
Correspondingly…..
Indeed….