COMMUNICATION STUDIES 8:
Interpersonal
Communicatio
n
STUDEN
T
HANDBO
OK
Instructor:
Joan Merriam
To Accompany the Text,
INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION (Comm. Studies 8)
Monday/Wednesday, 11AM-12:20PM
COURSE SYLLABUS
SEMESTER:
INSTRUCTOR:
TEXTBOOK:
BLACKBOARD:
Spring, 2011
Joan Merriam
e-mail: professorjoan@foothill.net OR jmerriam@sierracollege.edu
Looking Out, Looking In (13th edition)
Adler and Proctor (ISBN: 9780495796213)
All course documents are available digitally on Blackboard, as well as on
my professional website at www.joanmerriam.com
COURSE OUTCOMES:
This course will enable you to:
 Understand, analyze, and evaluate the theoretical concepts that inform interpersonal
communication
 Identify, examine, and evaluate interpersonal communication skills
 Reflect changes and improvement in communication skills
 Demonstrate understand and utilization of varied listening techniques by advising,
analyzing, supporting, and paraphrasing
 Monitor self-perception and perception of others
 Send clear verbal messages to others as evinced by verbal and nonverbal feedback from
the listener
 Listen to other students’ messages and communicate understanding by giving verbal
and nonverbal feedback to the speaker
 Identify, evaluate, and employ several conflict management techniques
 Determine the best intercultural relationship action or behavior given specific
hypothetical and real situations
WHAT I EXPECT OF YOU:
ATTENDANCE AND PARTICIPATION
Attendance and participation are crucial for this class…but as an adult, your attendance is
your responsibility. See page 5, “Activities & Assignments,” for information on participation
and attendance point calculation.
If you’re ill or out of town, let me know so I can mark your absence as excused. (And no,
you don’t need a note from your doctor!) Remember that it’s your responsibility to sign the
attendance roll each session—if your name isn’t there, I’ll presume you weren’t there.
COMPLETION of ASSIGNMENTS
All work must be presented when due, barring real emergencies or excused absences.
ONE-HALF GRADE POINT will be deducted for each class session the assignment is late
without an excused absence. Assignments more than three sessions late will not be accepted,
and will receive an automatic “F.”
Makeup exams will be given ONLY in the case of an excused absence—it’s your
responsibility to let me know if you’re ill or unable to attend class because of a true emergency
on the day of the exam. Otherwise, missing an exam means you’ll receive zero points.
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RULES OF THE ROAD
#1: NO texting in class is allowed!
#2: Laptops allowed in FRONT ROW ONLY, & used for taking notes only!
WHAT YOU CAN EXPECT OF ME:
OPEN ACADEMIC ATMOSPHERE
My goal is to provide an environment of mutual respect and tolerance in which free and
open exchange of ideas and opinions can take place. There are no “off-limits” questions or
subjects—although I expect everyone to stay within the bounds of decency and be respectful of
racial, ethnic, cultural, religious, and sexual diversity.
FAIR AND EQUITABLE GRADING PRACTICES
I do not grade students on test results alone, or use a grading “curve.” Your grade is based
on your completion of assignments, class participation, and exams. But be warned:
ANYONE WHO CHEATS ON AN EXAM, SUBMITS WORK THAT IS NOT HIS OR HER OWN, OR
PLAGIARIZES ALL OR PART OF AN ASSIGNMENT, WILL BE DROPPED FROM THE COURSE WITH AN “F.”
EMAILING ASSIGNMENTS
You may email me your written assignments if you wish. In order for assignments to be
considered on time, I must receive them by midnight on the due date. Emailed assignments
will be graded and returned to you by email in order to save paper.
DISABLED STUDENTS
Students with disabilities who need assistance or accommodation should advise me, and
make arrangements with Disabled Student Services as soon as possible.
POINT BREAKDOWN FOR GRADING (1100 POINTS TOTAL):
Participation/Attendance ......................................200 points
Class Activities ........................................................ 50 points
Quizzes ..................................................................... 50 points ( 2 x 25 points each)
Exams ........................................................................300 points (2 x 150 points each)
Semester Project paper ...........................................350 points
Building Self-Esteem paper ...................................... 75 points
What Would You Say? paper …………………..... 75 points
Here are the points you will need to earn the grade of your choice in the course:
A = 990 – 1100 points (90 to 100% of total points)
B = 880 - 989 points (80 to 89% of total points)
C = 770 - 879 points (70 to 79% of total points)
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Class Schedule (subject to change)
DATE
Mon., Jan. 24
Wed., Jan. 26
Mon., Jan. 31
Wed., Feb. 2
Mon., Feb. 7
Wed., Feb. 9
Mon., Feb. 14
Wed., Feb. 16
DISCUSSION TOPIC OR ACTIVITY
FOR NEXT CLASS:
Orientation and Overview of Course
Interpersonal Communication Basics
Read Chapter 1
More Basics: the Keys to Understanding
Why and What We Communicate
Whooo Are Yooou? Looking at the Self
 Quiz # 1: Chapters 1-2
Managing Our Identities
What is Perception?
Perception-Checking and Empathy
PRESIDENT’S
Mon., Feb. 21
Read Chapter 2
----Read Chapter 3
--Read Chapter 4
DAY
HOLIDAY
Wed., Feb. 23
Emotions: What They Are (and Aren’t!)
---
Mon., Feb. 28
Why We Feel What We Feel
---
Wed., March 2
Expressing and Managing Emotions
Mon., March 7
A First Look at Language
Language Basics
 MIDTERM EXAM: Chapters 1-5
What Do Words Do?
Gender, Culture, and Language
Nonverbal Communication Basics
Types of Nonverbal Communication
The Art of Listening
Listening and Learning
Wed., March 9
Mon., March 14
Wed., March 16
Mon., March 21
Wed., March 23
Mon., March 28
Wed., March 30
Mon., April 4
Wed., April 6
Mon., April 11
Wed., April 13
Responding
A First Look at Relational Dynamics
Wed., April 27
Mon., May 2
Wed., May 4
Trust and Honesty
Self-Disclosure: Why We Do It, Why We Don’t
Intimacy Issues
Communication Climates
Mon., May 16
Resolving Conflict
Wed., May 18
--Read Chapter 6
--Read Chapter 7
---
Read Chapter 8
Read Chapter 9
SPRING
Wed., May 11
---
---
 Quiz # 2: Chapters 5-6
Creating Better Communication
Conflict and Conflict Styles
Mon., May 9
-----
---
Why We Love the People We Love
Intimacy
April 18-22
Mon., April 25
Read Chapter 5
 FINAL EXAM: Chapters 6-11
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BREAK
--Read Chapter 10
--Read Chapter 11
---------
DATES and DEADLINES
(subject to change)
Wed., Feb. 9
QUIZ #1: CHAPTERS 1-2
Wed., Feb. 23
“Building Self-Esteem” PAPER DUE
Mon., March 14
MIDTERM EXAM: CHAPTERS 1-5
Wed., March 30
“What Would You Say?” PAPER DUE
Mon., April 11
QUIZ #2: CHAPTERS 5-6
Mon., April 25
SEMESTER PROJECT DUE
Wed., May 18
FINAL EXAM: CHAPTERS 6 -11
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ASSIGNMENT
GUIDELINES
and
REQUIREMENTS
ACTIVITES AND ASSIGNMENTS
Here are the activities and assignments that will earn you points:
200 points: Participation/Attendance. Everyone will start with 200 points. You are entitled to
THREE excused absences without penalty; beyond this, each missed class will cost you 10
points, on the assumption that if you are not present, you are not participating. Anyone who
falls below 100 points in this area may be dropped from the course.
50 points: Class Activities. Fifty points are available here for in-class activities, extra
assignments, or other activities assigned by the instructor.
50 points: Quizzes. (2 quizzes x 25 points = 50 points) There will be two brief quizzes,
designed to check your reading of the text. These quizzes are simple recall quizzes and are
aimed only at being sure you’ve read the assigned pages. NO MAKE-UPS ARE ALLOWED
FOR QUIZZES.
300 points: Exams. There will be one 150-point midterm exam and one 150-point final exam.
350 points: Interpersonal Reflections Paper. This paper gives you an opportunity to focus on
an area of interpersonal communication interests you. It might be a research paper in which
you explore an area you’re curious about, a paper analyzing the communication patterns and
interpersonal relationships in a film, or something else. You may choose any subject that
interests you, as long as it’s in the realm of interpersonal communication.
150 points: Two additional papers. Two papers, worth 75 points each, are required to be
completed.
 In addition, you may write ONE ADDITIONAL PAPER of 3-4 pages for 50 points extra credit.
You MUST clear your topic with me first.
NOTE: All papers are to be typed, double-spaced, on white bond, in
current MLA style. Papers will be graded for content, clarity,
and completeness, in addition to grammar, punctuation, and
spelling. If you are unsure of how to write a college-level
paper, visit the Learning Center.
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SEMESTER PROJECT:
INTERPERSONAL REFLECTIONS
This paper is your chance to concentrate on a specific area of interpersonal communication
that is of special interest to you. The possibilities are endless in terms of the type of paper …but
these are the guidelines and requirements:



Length: 6-8 pages, double-spaced, typed
Points: 350
Due: APRIL 11
Remember: this is worth a third of your total semester grade, so don’t blow it off or put it off!
Be thoughtful, detailed and specific in your content...if you’re unsure about how to put together a
proper college-level paper, see the helpful folks at the Learning Center.
Option 1: Research & Personal Perceptions Paper
There are no restrictions here…choose a subject that interest you. Here are some ideas that
have been done in the past:
How to Break Up and Remain Friends
Parenting Styles: What Works & What Doesn’t
The Language of Men and Women
Becoming Better Partner In My Relationship
Becoming a Better Listener to My Teenagers
Ways to Improve the Communications Climate at My Work
Option 2: Film & TV Analysis
Films and TV shows can help us understand both positive and negative communication styles,
as well as everyday communication. Below are some films and TV programs that illustrate
various principles of interpersonal communication…but DON’T restrict yourself to these
alone. If have a favorite film that will work, that’s fine! Many of these films and programs
operate on multiple levels—that is, you could use a series like The Office to illustrate any of a
number of principles: interpersonal relationships, nonverbal communication, self-identity,
empathy, language, culture, conflict, and more. (TV programs are marked with an asterisk):
The Office* (communication competence)
Brokeback Mountain (identity management)
Crash (stereotyping)
Garden State (the significance of expressing emotions)
When Harry Met Sally (gender and language)
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Mean Girls (linguistic convergence)
Seinfeld * (nonverbal communication in everyday life)
Boys Don’t Cry (masculine and feminine nonverbal behavior)
CSI and Law & Order *(the importance of listening)
The Devil Wears Prada (ineffective listening)
TV reality shows (relational attraction)
It’s Complicated (relationships)
Liar, Liar (alternatives to self-disclosure)
American Idol * (giving and receiving criticism)
30 Rock * (conflict styles)
OTHER WRITTEN ASSIGNMENTS
1.
BUILDING SELF-ESTEEM
Length: 3 pages, typed, double-spaced
Points: 75
Due: FEBRUARY 23
This paper asks you to evaluate and discuss your own level of self-esteem, based on the
following strategies for building better self-esteem:
1. Free yourself from your “should-haves.” Live your life on the basis of what is possible for
you and what feels right to you instead of what you or others think you “should” do and what
you “should have” done. Find out what you want and what you’re good at, value those things,
and take actions to fulfill your potential.
2. Respect your own needs. Recognize and take care of your own needs and wants first.
Contrary to our belief that this is selfish, respecting your deeper needs will increase your sense
of worth and well-being.
3. Set achievable goals. Establish goals on the basis of what you can realistically hope to
achieve. Setting perfectionist, absolute goals (for example, “Anything less than an A in school
is always unacceptable”) inevitably invites stress and failure.
4. Talk to yourself positively. Stop listening to your cruel “inner critic.” When you notice that
you’re doubting or judging yourself, replace such thoughts with loving, forgiving, selfaccepting thoughts and balanced self-assessment.
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5. Test your reality. Separate your emotional reactions—habitual fears and bad feelings—from
reality. For example, you may be feeling hopeless about a project that seems impossible, but if
you think about it realistically, you may still be able to benefit from the experience… even if
it’s just the knowledge that in the future you have to plan your time better!
6. Create opportunities where you can experience success. Put yourself in situations in which
the probability of your being successful is high. Develop the habit of seeing yourself as successful. Acknowledge and feel proud of your accomplishments.
7. Take chances. All new experiences are potential learning experiences which can help build
self-confidence. Don't be disappointed if you don’t master a new task immediately or do it
perfectly the first time.
8. Accept the fact that you have problems in your life. Don't try to constantly avoid your
problems…but also don't spend all your time moping over them. Identify them, face them,
and then find ways either to solve them or cope with living with them. If necessary, seek
professional help or the help of loved ones.
9. Be decisive. Practice making and implementing decisions flexibly but firmly, and trust
yourself to deal with the consequences. Asserting yourself enhances your sense of self and
increases your self-confidence.
10. Sit down and analyze your skills. Know what you can and can't do. Develop the skills you
already possess. Then figure out which skills you need to get what you want in life, and begin
the process of learning and practicing those.
11. Emphasize your strengths. Focus on what you can do, rather than what you can’t. Accept
your current limitations and learn to live comfortably within them.
12. Rely on your own opinion of yourself. While it’s good to get feedback from others, don't
be dependent on their opinions. No one, but no one, knows you as well as you do.
In your paper, discuss these questions:
1. Which of these tips might be helpful to your life situation? In what way(s)?
2. Select a tip that relates to you and explain the specific steps you could take to build
your self-esteem in that area. For example, are your life goals realistic and achievable?
If you believe there are any irrational “shoulds” in your life, what are they? Can you
dispute them? How?
3. Do you have an “ inner critic”? If so, what does he/she say? Can you argue with this
critic? What would you say to silence him/her, or refute what he/she says?
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WHAT WOULD YOU SAY?
Length: 3 pages, typed, double-spaced
Points: 75
Due: MARCH 30
In your paper, describe what you would say to a friend in response to
each of the following problems (make your comments as helpful & productive
as possible):
1. My family doesn’t understand me. Everything I like seems to go against their values,
and they just won’t accept my feelings as being right for me. It’s not that they don’t
love me—they do. But they don’t accept me the way I am.
2. I’ve been pretty discouraged lately. I just can’t get a good relationship going with
anyone. I’ve got plenty of friends, but that’s always as far as it goes. I’m tired of being
just a pal. . . . I want to be more than that.
3. I don’t know what I want to do with my life. I’m tired of school, but there aren’t any
good jobs around. I could just drop out for a while, but that doesn’t sound very good,
either.
CLASSROOM ASSIGNMENTS
Students will be assigned to small groups in order to participate in certain classroom activities.
No advance notice will be given regarding the dates that such exercises will take place.
Note: If you are absent on the day the activity is held, you will lose all points for
the exercise. There can be no exceptions to this policy in fairness to all students.
However, since each group assignment is worth a very small number of points in
relation to the entire semester’s point-load, missing only one group activity will
likely have little effect on your overall grade.
Group activities are not graded per se: each activity carries a specific number of
“participation points,” which each student who is present and participates will
receive.
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SUPPLEMENTARY
MATERIALS
and
INFORMATION
EMPATHY
is like a huge umbrella,
covering every type of human communications encounter
EMPATHY
links us to one another through the sharing of
human emotions . . .
Unless our speaking and listening is characterized by
empathy, our efforts at communicating are little more than
meaningless chatter
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The Johari Window
The Johari Window has four “panes,” where each pane looks into a different
part of the self in relation to others. This model helps to explain why others
may react to us differently than we expect them to. For instance, if I see myself
as a reasonable person, but others have experienced me as critical and
judgmental, then I probably won’t understand when they hide information about
something they think may provoke my criticism. They are probably responding
to an aspect of my BLIND self.
(Things
about you
that are
OPEN to
everyone)
THE
OPEN
SELF
THE
BLIND
SELF
(You are BLIND
to these things
that others can
see in you)
What YOU know about yourself
What OTHERS know about you
What OTHERS know about you
What YOU do not know about yourself
THE
THE
HIDDEN
UNKNOWN
SELF
SELF
(Things about you
that are
UNKNOWN
to everyone,
including
yourself)
(Things that you
keep HIDDEN
from everyone
but yourself)
What YOU know about yourself
What OTHERS do not know about you
What YOU do not know about yourself
What OTHERS do not know about you
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