Opinion Essay
Exemplars
7th Grade LaCA
Opinion Essay—Introduction Exemplar
A.) Led zeplin ACDC Van Halen
Mettalica all of these bands and more
are apart of music. And I’m a person
who cant live without his tunes.
Opinion Essay—Introduction Exemplar
B.) Huff, puff, huff, huff, huff, hauaahahhh…Gotta stick with them,
they’ll make me better. C’mon! Push it! Keep going! OR…I’ll
just hang back with the other kids and stick with them. Easy. I’m
not even trying hard but I’m staying with my middle school
buddies. So what would you rather do? Get better doing
athletics at a high school with the older kids or just stay the same
and hang back with your middle school homies. As of now, most
kids can’t usually go practice athletics at the high schools. It is
rare to get to do that. I think that middle school students should
be able to practice with high schoolers at the high school. I think
this because we would get better, they have better equipment,
and you will get to know your future coaches and players.
Opinion Essay—Introduction Exemplar
Grade & Explanation—A
Score = 1
Explanation:
The writer creates a confusing introduction with
the rambling attention getter and does not reveal
the thesis of the essay until the third paragraph
of the actual essay. There is no preview of main
points. There are also many grammatical errors
which are distracting.
Opinion Essay—Introduction Exemplar
Grade & Explanation—B
Score = 4
Explanation:
The writer uses an effective attention getter that
smoothly transitions to relevant context and
background information. This sets up the thesis
and engages the reader. The thesis states the
writer’s opinion and previews three strong points
that would be logical and convincing for readers.
Opinion Essay—Body Paragraph Exemplar
A.) I think we should be allowed to work with high schoolers in athletics
because they will challenge middle schoolers to work harder and we can
get better. For example, when I play football with my little brothers, they get
better. Because they are both a lot younger than me, they challenge
themselves to be like me. They want to stick up with me. So they work
harder to keep up and this makes them better. Secondly, when I played on
my older brother’s basketball team, a very similar situation occurred. He
was one year older and I was challenged to work harder and play like the
older kids. It was very hard, but I got a lot better at basketball after that. If
we could go work with high schoolers, this could happen. My last example
is, when I played midget football for Assurity D. We would scrimmage the
better and older C team. My team would get tougher and better after that. I
think this kind of thing would happen if we could work out at the high
school.
Opinion Essay—Body Paragraph Exemplar
B.) First of all, gums makes kids
happier because they don’t have to
sit around bored at school. They also
just like to chew gum because they
can blow bubbles when they get
bored. But, it doesn’t just make kids
happy, it makes them focus better.
Opinion Essay—Body Paragraph
Exemplar Grade & Explanation—A
Score = 3+/4
Explanation:
The support for the each point is compelling, clear, and contains three
well-developed pieces of evidence with explanations. The writer uses
personal examples to lead the reader to a deeper understanding
through analysis of situations and relationships. His explanation of these
events/examples illustrates his reasoning and makes the argument
more convincing. Sentences are varied and reflect some sophistication
(the writer’s strong voice and fluency of ideas engage the reader
throughout). Transitions are smooth and effective and are used to
connect paragraphs as well as the ideas within them.
Opinion Essay—Body Paragraph
Exemplar Grade & Explanation—B
Score = 2
Explanation:
Support for the writer’s opinion is implausible. The writer uses
a list of claims which result in faulty logic and
overgeneralizations (gum makes kids happier so they don’t
have to sit around bored at school). The support also lacks
good reasoning/logic (They also just like to chew gum because
they can blow bubbles when they get bored and it helps kids
focus better). Transitions are present, but they are quite
predictable and inconsistent.
Opinion Essay—Conclusion Exemplar
A.) I would like to be able to go to high schools to practice
athletics with the high schoolers. I think this because when
you work with someone who is older and better than you, you
get better at the sport you are participating in. Secondly, high
schools have better equipment that is more up to date then
the middle schools. And lastly when you work at high schools
you can get to know your future high school teammates and
coaches. So remember when you had the choice of huffing
and puffing, but still getting better and getting really good at
your sport, or just taking it easy and staying the same. Well I
would choose the huffing and puffing way.
Opinion Essay—Conclusion Exemplar
B.) That’s why I whote this essay music
is my life. I play electric guitar and I
started because I grew up listening to
music. I grew up listening to rock and I
will never listen to rap that’s me others
mite be yhe other way around so that’s
my essay.
Opinion Essay—Conclusion Exemplar
Grade & Explanation—A
Score = 3+/4
Explanation:
Sentences are varied and reflect some sophistication (the
writer’s strong voice and fluency of ideas engage the reader
throughout). Transitions are smooth and effective and are
used to connect paragraphs as well as the ideas within them.
The conclusion ties up the essay by reviewing the main points,
restating the thesis in a different manner and providing a
graceful return to the attention getter. Needs to remove
reference to “I” and make this wording more inclusive for
readers.
Opinion Essay—Conclusion Exemplar
Grade & Explanation—B
Score = 1
Explanation:
There are many digressions that confuse the reader (I play
electric guitar and I started because I grew up listening to
music). Sentences are often awkward and transitions are
mostly missing. The final paragraph restates the opinion, but
does not review the main points/reasons or provide a clincher.
Frequent errors create confusion. Needs less references to “I”
or related words and to make this wording more inclusive for
readers.