Work Options During Today’s MC Visit
Summer Rdg Notes submitted to Turnitin.com (if missed previous
date)
SP Proposal
Annotated Bibliography Work
Argument #1: Turnitin.com submission (see Homework/Reminder
slide)
JOURNAL COLLECTION/CHECK
Required Entries: 23
Focus: Entry Completion (5 pts per entry; 1 pt deduction for partially
completed entries)
-Place Framework and Deadline Checklist on your desk (collection @
end of class)
Classwork: Sept. 16, 2015
Upon Return From Fall Break: Discuss Current Event Log
Title/Thesis (refer to handouts)
Kahoot.it (Alvarez’s “IWBMA”
Writing Workshop
- Postponed until Tues., Sept. 29: Peer-review Requirements/PQP
Argument #2 (Draft #1)
Classwork: Sept. 17, 2015
◦ Kahoot.it (focus: Alvarez’ “I Want to be Miss America”)
◦ Current Event Reading Log Discussion
◦ Writing Workshop Focus:
- Peer-review Requirements/PQP Argument #2 (Draft #1)
-
Sample Senior Project Research Paper Claims
 When children grow up watching horror movies there are many psychological effects in the form of family life, social interactions and thought
processes.
My Response: Hummmm, okay… Not too shabby! I’m interested in the way this author is going to prove
this...what avenues will be taken to support this claim. Work on crafting this with better word choice(in other
words, build up your argument more). Keep chipping Away…Great Start.
 The development of robotics is accelerating at a blistering pace; soon robots will be a part of our daily lives just like computers.
My Response: Hummmm, okay… needs some fine-tuning. This claim is too vague.
Consider specifying a particular area. That would be more interesting and arguable to me.
Keep chipping Away…you’re getting there.
 With the rise of Coca-Cola products, the beverage industry is slowly evolving into a more competitive market.
My Response: Hummmm, okay… this claim has peaked my interest. I’d like
to see how this person is going to prove how Coca-Cola products have risen
(reword “rise”), and how the ENTIRE industry has become more
competitive as a result. Keep Chipping Away at this, though…Great Start!!
 Set design is just as important as the actual production.
My Response: Hummmm, okay… needs some fine-tuning. This claim is too obvious, and doesn’t engage me.
This author needs to build up the argument so that I will care about how the .
there.
Keep chipping Away…you’re getting
Improved Senior Project Research Paper
Claims
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Cosmetologists are creative artists who make a difference in people’s lives, giving them the confidence and positive energy needed to make a difference in the community.
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My Response: Hummmm, okay… Much
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improved. I hear where the author is going
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with this and I appreciate her leap.
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Cosmetologists=community-builder… I like it!
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Work on the diction. Keep Chipping Away at this,
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though…Much-improved!!
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Although there are many acceptable pastimes for teens, there are far too many still finding themselves in trouble.
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My Response: Hummmm, okay… needs a good bit of fine-tuning. This claim is too
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vague; it lacks specificity. Further, the author needs to build up the claim in such a way that I’ll be
engaged.
Upon reading this for a 2nd time, it
reads in an incongruent fashion (acceptable pastimes ≠
too many in trouble.
Not sure where you’re going with this. Keep chipping Away…
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Playing an instrument helps stimulate brain activity and improves intelligence.
•
My Response: Hummmm, okay… needs some fine-tuning. The author needs to craft this claim using
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more engaging diction to engage me. Keep chipping Away…Almost!
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
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My Response: Hummmm, okay… much fine-tuning. I can tell where the author is TRYING to go, but the
argument
is formed using an interrogative, and
it needs to be a definitive statement. Rephrase this so
that you
are
building/crafting your argument in a concise and engaging manner. Keep chipping
away…
Is good advertising a direct correlation to increased sales or does the product speak for itself?
Teacher Commentary on
Titles and Theses
Copy:
Student: Bennett Crawford
Title: TOPSoccer: Effective at Fostering Physical, Mental, and Emotional Growth for the Disabled
My Commentary:
Strengths: Clear focus (I know the whole scope of your paper before reading your claim, capped first
letter in all major words, correct font size, didn’t bold
Improvements Necessary: Rephrase “Effective At” Address “Why” TOPSoccer is effective
Thesis: TOPSoccer is adequately effective at fostering the physical, mental, and emotional growth and
development of disabled athletes.
My Commentary:
Strengths: 1 fluid sentence; passes the “So What” test; details talking points that will appear in the
paper
Improvements Necessary: “Athletes” is not mentioned in your title; “adequately effective” is
redundant; Address “Why” TOPSoccer is effective
Title Formation Notes
A straightforward title is better than one that is cute or
too clever. Keep it simple. The title shouldn’t leave
your reader wondering, “What’s that about?”
A colon is helpful. You might write the topic first,
followed by a colon, followed by your limited focus.
The title should not be stated as a complete sentence.
Although it might suggest a question.
Your title should be a concise version of your thesis
(identifying your paper’s topic and focus).
Title Formation Practice Activity
Copy the following faulty titles, note the title formation
error(s) and revise:
a. Credit Card Problems
b. Too Many Children Don’t Know What to Do in a Fire
c. Mystery Novels and Movies
d. Feeding the Diet Industry
e. Escaping With the Wizard of Oz (hint: refers to Hot Air
Ballooning)
JE #23, Sept. 16: Reread Alvarez’s
“IWTBMA” (pp.91-96)
Add the following questions and your responses to Qst 1-4.
5. Why does Alvarez put an explanation point after every word of the contestant’s introduction in paragraph
3? What does this unusual punctuation achieve?
6.In paragraph 4, Alvarez writes, “There they stood, fifty puzzle pieces forming the pretty face of
America…though most of the color had been left out.” How does this figurative language reinforce the
main idea of her essay?
Miss America Pageant 2016
7.
How does Alvarez’s concluding paragraph differ in tone from the first paragraph of her essay? What message does this difference in tone convey to the reader?
8.
(Add vocabulary and definitions to Vocab. Log):
acute
sashayed
inane
aspirations
prodigies
sappy
diaphonous
gratifying
sallow
READING WORKSHOP:
Julia Alvarez’s “I Want to Be Miss America” (pp.91-96)
Step #1:
*Authorial Background Notes: Julia Alvarez (List a few notes in bullet-point form)
*Cultural Background Notes: Dominican Culture: (List a few notes in bullet- point form)
1. Where is the Dominican Republic located?
2. How do the father’s words and actions fail to match when choosing his favorite
contestants in the Miss America pageants?
3. How does watching the pageants broaden the sisters’ ideas about what they can do
and be?
4. Why does Alvarez say that the popularity of exotic, “ethnic” looks in the late ’60s
“came too late” for her and her sisters?
Step #2:
Apply SOAPSTone on your own paper
JE #22, Sept. 15: Alvarez’s “IWTBMA”
◦ Place textbook on desk
◦ Alvarez and her sisters had a strong need to “look as if we belonged”
(para. 1)? Why are some people so motivated not to express and
celebrate their differences but to simply “fit in”?
Claim/Evidence Requirements For ALL Papers
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Intro. ¶:  attention-grabber (INTERESTING
FACT/STAT., anecdote, INTERESTING
quote)
 Basic 2-3 sent. background summary of
the topic
 Thesis: Central claim that you are
PROVING in your essay
Body ¶:  Transitional word or phrase
 Topic sentence
 Lead in for Evidence (in the form of a
Quote or Passage or another
form of Concrete Detail
 Commentary (brief explanation about how the evidence supports
claim)
Concluding ¶:  A general statement that explains how your central
Claim/Argument/Thesis is resolved
ARGUMENT #2
Argument Paper #2 Focus:
Should the government pass the law that states that a male can be fined (made to
pay money) if he wears his jeans below his waist in public? This law says a guy can
actually get a ticket for wearing his jeans below his waist, thus exposing his
underwear.
Do you agree or disagree with this law? You will write a persuasive argument using
pathos, ethos, and logos to prove your point.
Step 1: Prewrite: Plan your paper using the SOAPSTone strategy and include 2-3
examples of Ethos, Pathos, Logos that you will use in your paper to further argue
your point.
Step 2: Draft 1 (Due Tuesday, Sept.15): Typed; Proper Format; 5 Vocab. Words
from units 1-4; Examples of ethos, pathos, logos
RESEARCH PAPER DOCS:
◦DEADLINE CHECKLIST
◦RESEARCH PAPER RATIONALE/PLANNING/Q&A/FORMAT
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GENERALLY APPLICABLE QUESTIONS ABOUT VOICE
(Notes in Reading Section)
1. Whose voice(s) do you hear? What words or lines identify these
voices for you?
2. What voices are familiar or alien? What words, phrases, or lines
tell you that?
3. What is the situation? How do you know that?
4. Who is the audience? What helps you determine that?
5. What is the speaker’s tone? How do you know?
6. What is the speaker’s mood? How do you know?
READING RHETORICALLY
• Prereading
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Getting ready to read
Surveying the text
Making predictions and asking questions
Introducing key vocabulary
• Reading
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First reading
Looking closely at language
Rereading the text
Analyzing stylistic choices
Considering the structure of the text
• Post-reading
• Summarizing and responding
• Thinking critically
Adopted from the California State University
Task Force Materials
WRITING RHETORICALLY
• PREWRITING
• Reading the Assignment
• Getting Ready to Write
• Formulating a Working Thesis
• WRITING
• Composing a Draft
• Organizing the Essay
• Developing the Content
• REVISING AND EDITING
• Revising the Draft
• Editing the Draft
• Reflecting on the Writing
• EVALUATING AND RESPONDING
• Grading holistically
• Responding to Student Writing
• Using Portfolios
Adopted from the California State University
Task Force Materials
Research Paper Documents (links)
Rationale
Framework
Deadline Checklist
Title Formation
Homework/Reminders
SP Timeline Link
*Begin Looking for a mentor, and researching a topic for a 5-7 p. paper*
*Journal Check This Week*
 Wednes., Sept. 16: Due Arg. #2: Draft #1/Discuss committee-graded SP Resume
 Thurs., Sept. 17: Due: RP Framework
 Mon., Sept. 28: Due: Unit 4 Vocab. FC
 Tues., Sept. 29: Due: Turnitin.com by 11:30 p.m.- Publish Ready Draft (Most Significant MC Theme)
 Fri., Sept. 18: Meet in Library- MLA/Annotated Bibliography
 Fri., Sept. 18: Due Date: SP Proposal
 Fri., Sept. 18 @11:30 p.m.: Deadline #2 For Turnitin.com Summer Reading (if you missed D#1 for Summer
Rdg Chap Notes on Book #1)
 Thurs., Oct. 1- Turnitin.com Deadline by 11:30 p.m.: Argument #1: Publish-Ready Draft: Most Significant MC
Lit Theme
 TBD: Resume Revisions
 Thurs., Oct. 22: Book #2: Summer Rdg Chapter Notes submitted to Turnitin