目次
實施計畫-------------------------------------------------------2
活動內容-------------------------------------------------------3
活動流程-------------------------------------------------------4
臺灣參與學生名單-----------------------------------------------5
美國參與師生名單-----------------------------------------------7
Family T A B L E Summit questions----------------------------------8
臺灣與會學生論文-----------------------------------------------9
美國與會學生論文----------------------------------------------24
1
臺美青年領袖高峰會北區場次
壹、實施計畫
一、 宗旨：分享婚姻家庭價值觀，啟發公民意識，強化學生外語能力，開拓
青年國際視野。
二、 時間：104 年 7 月 15 日至 16 日
三、 地點：臺北市立永春高級中學
四、 對象：臺北市、新北市及基隆市高中生
五、 人數：美籍師生 12 人(由臺灣幸福家庭協會受理報名)
臺籍師生 90 人(由市立永春高中受理報名)
六、 主辦單位：社團法人臺灣幸福家庭協會、臺北市政府秘書處、臺北市政
府教育局
七、 協辦單位：臺北市立永春高級中學
八、 活動內容：如附件(全程以英文進行)
本活動費用全免，請提供基本個人資料以利辦理活動保險。
課程內容與討論主題係由臺灣幸福家庭協會設計規劃，課程有任何問題，歡迎與臺灣幸福家庭協會
聯繫。brandonl@ms29.hinet.net
報名方式：
 書面報名：欲參加之學生須向就讀學校提出申請，各校自行辦理校內甄選作業並擇優推薦 3 名（須
按推薦序排序）；由學校彙整學生報名表(附件一)、學生家長同意書(附件二)、核章之學校推薦名
單(附件三)，以及學生英文檢定相關證明文件，免備文 6/22(星期一)前送達臺北市立永春高級中
學（臺北市信義區松山路 654 號）學生活動組彙整（聯絡電話：27272983#301）。
 網路報名：於 6/8(星期一)開始至 7/8(星期三)，請學生自行至臺北市立永春高級中學首頁左下角
「臺美青年領袖高峰會」專欄填寫相關資料。
*每位報名學生皆須完成書面報名與網路報名兩項步驟，缺一不可，否則視為未報名成功。
*若報名人數超過 90 人，將依學校推薦序位以及英文能力進行篩選。錄取名單 7/10(星期五)前公布
於永春高中首頁。
*報名相關問題，請洽永春高中學務處活動組 洪偉豪組長，電話：02-27272983#301，Email：
ang1110@ycsh.tp.edu.tw。
學員事前準備：
（一）請學員於活動開始前，針對自己家庭的以下兩個議題先行瞭解：「家庭價值」、「餐桌記憶」。活
動當天將邀請學員以英文進行分享。
（二）請學員攜帶一張全家福照片出席活動。
2
貳、活動內容
一、T.A.B.L.E 關係立基幸福家庭力：
家庭關係往往影響未來的人際關係及人格發展，經統計學生向輔導中心求助最關心
的前 5 大議題分別為自我了解人際關係親密關係家人關係生涯規劃，盼
藉由本活動喚起學生對家庭關係的重視，並體認「家庭價值」作為自我發展的重要
性。
二、T.A.B.L.E 同心學習幸福家庭力：
普立茲獎得主湯馬斯．佛里曼認為二十一世紀國家發展的重要驅力並非石油或黃金
的蘊藏量，而是敬業的老師、投入的家長，以及認真的學生，更點出家庭關係的重
要性。
三、T.A.B.L.E 連結國際幸福家庭力：
本活動強調學生以英文公開演說與分享的經驗，加強學生英語溝通能力，並在臺美
師生交流過程中，增加學生多元的文化體驗，也在跨文化的背景下，學習與不同國
籍夥伴溝通合作的能力，啟發學生成為領導精英的潛能。
四、T.A.B.L.E 臺灣發起願危機平息：
聯合國在 2000 年發表 21 世紀最嚴重問題，並點出家庭關係與社會問題的關聯性，
世界經濟論壇（ＷＥＦ）2012 年的研究報告亦指出，
「好的家庭經驗，對一個人的
福祉，至關重要。」
3
參、活動流程
Time
Length
Agenda
9:00-9:30
30min
相見歡 Getting Started: We are the family
9:30-9:45
15min
世界咖啡館介紹-World Café，成員分組
9:45-10:30
45min
10:30-11:00
11:00-11:10
30min
10min
11:10-12:00
50min
12:00-13:00
60min
Day 1
13:00-13:50
50min
Topic A：Among the values I have learned from my family, what do I find
most important
Discussion
Presentation
30min
5min x 3group
Opening Ceremony 開幕式 News Conference 記者會
休息
Topic B: Discuss the role of parents in adolescents’ development in
America and in Taiwan.
Discussion
30min
午餐
Topic C: What does「Family TABLE」 mean to me? Memories of the
「Family TABLE」
Discussion
30min
13:50-14:00
Day 2
Presentation
5min x 3group
Presentation
5min x 3group
休息
10min
14:00-14:50
50min
14:50-15:00
10min
Topic D：What are our 「Family TABLE」 cultures, e.g. TABLE mood,
rituals and traditions?
Discussion
30min
Presentation
5min x 3group
休息
Topic E：When at home, how we as a family T.A.B.L.E each other over
the Family meal Table
15:00-15:50
50min
15:50-16:30
40min
08:50-09:00
10min
集合出發
09:00-10:00
60min
交通
10:00-11:00
60min
捷運行控中心
11:00-11:30
30min
交通
11:30-14:00
150min
午餐（海霸王餐廳）
14:00-14:30
30min
交通
14:30-16:00
90min
北投焚化廠
16:00-17:00
60min
返回永春高中
Discussion
30min
Presentation
5min x 3group
綜合座談/頒發證書/閉幕
4
肆、臺灣參與學生名單
List of Taiwan Participants
編號
組別
中文姓名
英文名
就讀學校
飲食
1
1
張筠
Veronica
新北市立錦和高級中學
葷
2
2
張琳
Evelyn Chang
新北市立中和高級中學
葷
3
3
沈以專
Ansel
臺北市立松山高級中學
葷
4
4
廖恬
Lioa,Tien
臺北市立中崙高級中學
葷
5
5
張定文
Ting-Wen Chang
新北市立北大高級中學
葷
6
6
廖倢妤
Jamie Liao
新北市私立金陵女子高級中學
葷
7
1
馬唯傑
Ma Wei Chieh
新北市立北大高級中學
葷
8
2
呂亮穎
Liang- Ying, Lu
新北市立三民高級中學
葷
9
3
蘇楚婕
Su Tsu Chieh
私立金甌女子高級中學
葷
10
4
張喆雅
Julia Chang
臺北市私立衛理女子高級中學
葷
11
5
高子勛
Kao, Tzu-Hsun
新北市立三民高級中學
葷
12
6
柯怡廷
Yi Ting Ko
新北市私立金陵女子高級中學
葷
13
1
梅緣緣
Vivian
臺北市私立金甌女子高級中學
葷
14
2
鄭文惠
Annie
臺北市私立金甌女子高級中學
葷
15
3
林品妤
Sylvia
臺北市私立金甌女子高級中學
葷
16
4
曾心怡
Kitty Tseng
臺北市立松山高級中學
葷
17
5
林沛穎
Peggy
臺北市立松山高級中學
葷
18
6
黃祈寧
Amily
臺北市私立方濟高級中學
葷
19
1
周庭亘
Angela
臺北市私立方濟高級中學
葷
20
2
陳穎柔
Angelico
臺北市私立方濟高級中學
葷
21
3
簡至翰
Morrison
臺北市立永春高級中學
葷
22
4
李芸萱
Lee Yun-Hsuan
臺北市立永春高級中學
葷
23
5
朱紹瑄
Sandra；Chu Shao Hsuan
新北市立北大高級中學
葷
24
6
吳崑齊
Terry
新北市立三民高級中學
葷
25
1
許秀華
Hsu, Hsiu-Hua (Fortuna Hsu)
臺北市立永春高級中學
葷
26
2
勞鼎皓
Mike
臺北市立永春高級中學
葷
27
3
吳政陽
Max
臺北市立永春高級中學
葷
28
4
林聖凱
Kevin
臺北市立永春高級中學
葷
29
5
邱品瑄
Sylvia
臺北市立永春高級中學
葷
30
6
陳必耕
Pi-Keng Chen
臺北市立永春高級中學
葷
31
1
孫誠
Frank
臺北市立永春高級中學
素
32
2
林豐甫
Fong Fu Lin
臺北市立永春高級中學
葷
33
3
盛馨
Cindy
臺北市立永春高級中學
葷
34
4
王英泰
Willy
臺北市立永春高級中學
葷
35
5
陳佳霈
Chen, Chia-Pei
臺北市立永春高級中學
葷
5
36
6
王育萱
Yu-Hsuan,Wang
臺北市立永春高級中學
葷
37
1
陳易辰
Andrew
臺北市立永春高級中學
葷
38
2
沈芷安
Rina
臺北市立永春高級中學
葷
39
3
林允森
Yun-Sen, Lin
臺北市立永春高級中學
葷
40
4
黃麒恩
Qi-En, Huang
臺北市立永春高級中學
葷
41
5
林威竭
Wei-Jie, Lin
臺北市立永春高級中學
葷
42
6
王子嘉
Zi-Jia, Wang
臺北市立永春高級中學
葷
43
1
何呈元
Cheng-Yuan, He
臺北市立永春高級中學
葷
44
2
莊漢庭
Han-Ting, Zhuang
臺北市立永春高級中學
葷
45
3
黃南華
Nan-Hua, Huang
臺北市立永春高級中學
葷
46
4
黃柏揚
Bo-Yang, Huang
臺北市立永春高級中學
葷
47
5
王庭顥
Ting-Hao, Wang
臺北市立永春高級中學
葷
48
6
陳詩瑜
Shi-Yu, Chen
臺北市立永春高級中學
葷
49
1
陳佳妤
Jia-Yu, Chen
臺北市立永春高級中學
葷
50
2
楊文欣
Wen-Xin, Yang
臺北市立永春高級中學
葷
6
伍、美國參與師生名單
List of American Participants
編號
英文姓名
就讀學校
1
Bethany Dykstra
Northwestern College, IA
2
Julianna Kempema
Northwestern College, IA
3
Emily Young
Grand Valley State University, MI
4
Autumn Geer
Home Schooled
5
Katrina Martin
Clearwater College, Florida
6
Joanna Williams
團長
7
Jessica Myles
The Woodlands School, Mississauga, Canada
8
Wesley Mills
The University of Oklahoma
9
Daniel Wester
South O'Brien High School , Iowa
10
Taylor Summers
Lake-Sumter State College, Florida
11
Andre Potgieter
theandreis@yahoo.com Palomar College, CA
7
接待人
姓名
陳必耕
Pi-Keng Chen
李芸萱
Lee Yun-Hsuan
勞鼎皓
Mike
許秀華
Fortuna Hsu
盛馨
Cindy
勞鼎皓
Mike
邱品瑄
Sylvia
吳政陽
Max
林豐甫
Fong Fu Lin
簡至翰
Morrison
林聖凱
Kevin
聯絡電話
陸、Family T A B L E Summit questions
Having a meal together with family members or classmates in school, is much more than just eating and
drinking. The meal is a celebration of life. It is a celebration of the gifts of life with people we share and
cherish. It is one of the most intimate and sacred of all human pastimes.
We want high school/university students’ lives be enriched, social skills be enhanced and academic
performance be advanced through this project.
T-Talk for Togetherness-
溝通分享心靈同堂，成為會與人溝通的人。
A- Accept for affirmation- 接納肯定茁壯生命，成為喜肯定人的人。
B-Build for blessing-
關係立基祝福安居，成為能祝福人的人。
L- Listen for love-
互相傾聽關係堅定，成為肯傾聽人的人。
E- Enjoy for example-
喜樂榜樣幸福傳揚，成為願立榜樣的人。
1.Please share your experiences of how family members can talk in a way that they
T-Talk for
each feel that being understood and they also understand their family members.
Togetherness 2.Please share your experiences of family members planning an outing which was
inexpensive and interesting.
A- Accept
for Affirmation
1.Please share how and what you appreciate about each of your family members,
and why?
2.Please share some experiences of you forgiving someone who offended you
B-Build
for Blessing
1.Please share how a conversation with family members developed which made you
feel encouraged and also increased your feelings of happiness.
2.Please share an experience of how you encouraged a frustrated family member
which made you feel valued.
L- Listen
for Love
1.Please share under what kind of circumstances you would feel safe and open to
talk.
2.Please share how you became sensitive to family member’s needs to talk, and how
you prepared yourself to 「listen」.
1.Please share the feeling of how, in your extended family get-together, your own
family promote the ‘Meal TABLE culture、 Happy Dialogue’.
E- Enjoy
2.Please share the thoughts and experiences of inviting an under-privileged family
for Example
to your home for dinner, demonstrating the ‘Meal TABLE culture Happy
Dialogue’.
8
柒、臺灣與會學生論文
Essays from Taiwan Participants
新北市立北大高級中學 朱紹瑄 Sandra
Discuss the role of parents in adolescents’ development in America and in Taiwan
What kind of the role do parents in Taiwan play in adolescents’ development? In my opinion, I believe
that parents play a variety of role in adolescents’ life. Sometimes they play as a counselor; they will provide
their opinions when we have any problem. By listening to their experience, it helps us figure out the solution
to the problem. Sometimes parents act like a dictator; they will arrange what we are going to do in the future
and force us to do it. They may even ignore our voice when we talk about our future with them. For parents in
Taiwan, most of them hope that their children can have lived a great life which they dream of. Therefore they
have already planned the schedule for their children in the future. From the two things I mention above, I
think that parents in Taiwan are vey contradictory. On one hand, they lead us to explore our own life. On the
other hand, they refuse us to make our own decision of the future. However, parents still play an important
role in our development.
In addition, I think that parents in Taiwan protect their children very much. They take care of their
children for anything. For example, parents help their children prepare lunch and bring it to school. They also
get up early to take their children to school. What’s more, they help children do much housework at home.
Therefore, it causes many teenagers over depended on their parents.
After talking about the role of parents in adolescents’ development in Taiwan, I’m going to talk about
parents in America. I think that parents in America play as a guide and adviser in adolescents’ development.
When playing as a guide, parents usually let their children find and develop their interest. What they do is give
their children big support. In addition, parents in America usually let their children learn how to be
independence. They will not take care of their daily life perfectly but let the children learn to take care of
everything themselves. Besides playing as a guide, parents in America would play as an advisor. They will not
limit their children to dream but let their children develop freely. Parents in America also encourage their
children to do the things that they like to increase their confidence.
The roles of parents in adolescents’ development between America and Taiwan have much more
different. Parents in America are more like
their children’s friends. They give their
children much freedom, confidence and
self-respect. They will not be mandatory for
children but let them develop freely. In
contrast, parents in Taiwan are more like a
baby-sitter. They control their children what
to do and request their children to obey them.
However, there isn’t absolutely right or
wrong in the way that parents teach their
children. Both kinds of parents have big
influence in adolescents’ development.
9
臺北市立永春高級中學 吳政陽 Max、勞鼎皓 Mike
The Role of Parents in Adolescents in America and in Taiwan
We all know that parents play an important role in their child's life. However, the role of parents in
adolescents might be different around the world. Due to different culture, parents have different thoughts
about taking care of their children. Now, we will discuss the differences between American and Taiwanese
parents.
In America, parents doesn't always make them by their side. Whereas, the goals for their children is not
wanting them go to cram school in order to get great grades. The real goal American parents want to achieve
is to make sure that they have a good social relationship with others, and hope the kids can develop special
abilities that can be useful wherever they go. Taiwanese parents cares about every move and every single thing
they do, they would spend much money on their studies. But american parents would like to give them as
much freedom as they want. For example: if a child that lives in an American family, he or she likes to play
piano as a career, their parents will spend as much money and effort as they can to cultivate them. Although I
didn't have the chance to be an American... I am proud of being a Taiwanese, no matter who we are and where
we are from, working hard is the only way to achieve our goals in life.
In Taiwan, parents keep their child close to them. Parents in Taiwan play the role of guards. Keeping their
child in eye, they make sure their kids are safe. In the other hand, the kids can't enjoy full freedom. When I
was young, my mom always told me not to do anything dangerous. No matter where I go, she would keep me
in sight, and make sure I am not in trouble. However, it may be annoying to young kids like me that want to
play all day, but it sure keeps us safe. What's more, parents in Taiwan keep a full schedule for their kids. For
example, a student might have his or hers afterschool time arranged with different types of talent class.
Although parents in Taiwan give children a lot of pressure, I have to say, all of these hard work will pay back
some day. Maybe it sounds tough being a Taiwanese kid, but I am proud of it. I worked through those hard
days and I'm on my way to enjoy freedom, because everything was already planned by my parents.
Maybe parents in different countries have different ideas of raising their children, but it is sure to say that
they want us to succeed. They show us their love and care, always planning ahead for us. They want us to be
ourselves and do our best.
10
新北市立三民高級中學 呂亮穎 Liang- Ying, Lu
Among the values I have learned from my family, what do I find most important
My family is a traditional family. So the values I have learned from my family are the basic of Chinese culture
that including love, respect, tolerance, and kindness. Those values can be used all over the world, because
they are also the main points to be a good person.
Respect means we accept we are individuals, we allow other people to have their own feelings and
experiences, no matter those feelings and experiences are bad or good, and we accept the differences between
us.
Respect is like moral they are abstract, so we need to learn respect when we are young.
My parents used to tell me” You need to respect other people first, and then they will respect you” for example,
if I want to use your pen, I need to tell you first, because it is yours. It is easy to say but hard to do, because
sometimes we are lazy to ask other people agreement that is the reason why we need to make respect to
become a habit. When we make it to become a habit, we will respect other people from the heart.
To make respect become habit has two steps. First, we respect ourselves. Second, we love ourselves. We
respect and love ourselves, so other people will get close to you, because they feel comfortable and they know
if you respect yourself, you will respect them too. At last of all, you can survive in this society.
Thanks, sorry, and you’re welcome are important three words in our life. You can use these three words to let
other people feel respect. And when we get along with other people, respect is necessary. Let’s try the two
steps and the three words to make other feel great.
I really thank my parents for teaching so many things, and those things make me become me now.
11
臺北市立松山高級中學 沈以專 Ansel
Among the values I have learned from my family,what do I find the most important.
The first person that we met the first in our lives must be one of our family members. As a result, they must
have influenced us the most. I believe that we can learn lots of values from them.
To tell the truth, my parents and other family members have taught me lots of things, including knoweldge,
behaviors and values. However, in my point of view, what effects me the most is that the confidence that my
parents helped me to attain. In fact, among all of the values that I have learned from my family, I think this is
the one that I have found the most important.
In my memory, I learned this value when I was ten. My parents were teaching me how to ride a bike. Due to
the reasons that I was afraid of falling down from the bike and the thinking of I couldn’t ride the bike well, it
was a nightmare for my parents to persuade me to get on the bike. However, one night my parents told me a
fable. After finished listening the fable, my parents reach the conclusion that nothing in the world is too hard
to do if we set our minds on it when we have the confidence to finish our missions. They also told me an
idiom, ”Nothing is difficult to the men who will try and have the confidence to finish them.” Then, I suddenly
realized that I should have the confidence to deal with any difficulties and problems that appear in my life.
Hence, I kept telling myself that I have the ability of coping these obstacles that stopped me from riding the
bike well. My parents gave me lots of confidence, too.
As a result, I finally knew how to ride a bike. Since that time, whenever I face to the difficulties, I will tell
myself that I have the ability to deal with them no matter how tough they are. I think I should be grateful to
my parents because it’s them telling me that I should be confident no matter what kind of difficulties that I
encountered. In fact, I must have the confidence to surmount the obstacles that obstruct me from being
successful.
In brief, it is true that everyone must have learned lots of things from their families. As for me, I have learned
lots of values from my family, too. In my opinion, I find that being confident is the most important among all
of the things that I have obtained from my family. I know that there’s nothing in the world that couldn’t be
done when we have the determination and confidence to accomplish it.
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臺北市私立方濟高中 周庭亘 Angela
When at home, how we as a family T.A.B.L.E each other over the Family meal Table?
My family always shares fun and strange things happen on them with boss, student or teacher. Sometimes
they share their annoying thing, and all the people in my family will find the way to solve the problem
together.
My family gives me a lot of suggestion that I can make good decision, clear up problem perfectly. I think
family is indispensable in our life, and the necessary condition is TABLE. Family has to communicate with
the other family members and cherish their time to be together, then their emotion will be better and better.
13
臺北市私立金甌女子高級中學 林品妤 Sylvia
Among the values I have learned from my family, what do I find most important
Among the value I have learned from my family, I find most important is the true love. Whatever happens to
me, families always keep company with me, help me get through it, and ask for nothing in return.
My mom always tells me that once I have something on my mind, regarding her as my sister to chat with.
Thus, there is no generation gap between my mom and me.
However, as I growing, the interaction between parents and I also decreases. That’s because I have to study at
school and don’t go home until eight p.m., worse, when I come home at nine, I still have to study until twelve.
Yet, time is not the thing I care about, the thing really touched me is that my parents wait me complete my
homework, always. Although my parents have to get up early to work and home lately, they just want to make
my life a better quality. And I never heard they quarrel or complain about the work. Even though they are so
busy, they still listen to classical music with me, and exercising with me on weekends. That’s what I find most
important among the value I have learned from my family, true love, also the labor of love.
Behavior of the true love between families is countless. It may be subtle but touch me very much. Like
waiting me complete my homework, giving me a big hug when I was stressful, and chatting with me to share
the daytime’s thing with each other. All things make families closer, and the meaning of the behavior is just
“true love”.
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新北市立北大高級中學 馬唯傑 Ma Wei Chieh
Among the values I have learned from my family , what do I find most important?
1. Highly-Education
Many of parents of my classmates really care about the highly education because of their expectation to their
children . But this gives great pressure to their children . And the more talent their children have ,the more
pressure they give .However ,my mother is a human resourses assistant ,she knows what kind of person are
more likely to be employed .Thus ,she has impressed a value to me : In recent society , the highly education
not really matters , the thing that truly important is what you can do and what your advantage is . So she has
never given me the pressure of which school to get in , she encourages me to keep learning new things and
attend activities in any fields instead .
2. Values of learning
My mother always thinks that the more you learn , the more valuable you are . No matter what you learn ,it
will lead you to the better and more colorful future . So when I attempt to learn something new ,my mother
always provides resourses which I need .For example ,I wanted to learn Japanese , she gave me a
Japanese-learning book;
I wanted to learn English typing ,she suggested me a type-learning software . Like these ,she helps me
learning not by giving me pressure but by encourage me ,so that I can learn new things in my willingness.
And I love the way of learning.
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新北市立三民高級中學 高子勛 KAO, TZU-HSUN
Among the values I have learned from my family,what do I find most important
My family has taught me lots of valuable things. For example, the attitude of treating every thing and making
friends with others, etc. These things are so important that I can’t forget them.
The first one is the attitude of treating every thing. My parents often tell me that I have to deal with everything
in great attitude. Because we deal with the thing in great attitude, which mean we think the thing is so
important. Then, if we value the thing, we will try our best to make the thing absolutely wonderful.
The second one is the attitude of making friends with others. We have to make friends with our sincere. We
use our sincere to make them believe that we really feel like making friends with them. Then, every will be
touched even is the people who is so mean.
The third one is caring the family. All of the member of the family have to care others feelings, healthy, or
something. Sometimes these can also keep the families’ emotions. For instance, my mother will always ask
me, “have you eaten?” and “do you feel cold or hot?” I think these questions is not only the question, but also
the way my mom caring me.
Above all of it, I think the third one the most important one. Because the most close people in the world is our
families. If we can’ take good care of our families, we can’t caring others, either. At last, I want to say, “thank
you!” to my families. If you don’t always take care of me a lot, I won’t have this achievement and won’t know
lots of valuable things.
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新北市立北大高級中學 張定文 Ting-Wen Chang
What does「Family TABLE」mean to me? Memories of the「Family TABLE」
Since I got into senior high school, I have less time to spend with my family. So I catch every opportunity
that can stay with family members. Dining times are kind of frequent time I could use.
To me, "family table" is like a chance that I can share happiness to my family or speak out the pressure on
study. On the other hand, I can also listen to them about things that happens in their day. By doing this, we can
understand each other well, and it'll decrease quarrels happen in our home. So I seize every family table time
to get to understand my family more.
When talking about special memories of family table, I'll share you about one time that my parents select a
girl for me and want her to be my girlfriend. It was a dinner that our whole family gathered together. That was
really a big dinner, almost all of my uncles and aunts came. Adults all sat together and talked about their
children. "How well they did on grades?"," How was their relationships with classmates?" And of course
"Questions about Boyfriend/Girlfriend." Since I was single, that time they decided to choose a girl that they
like. I didn't know what is that for, but they just chose it. They searched all girls around me, and analyzed all
of them. It took really long time for them, all the dishes on table were ate up.
Finally, they got a conclusion. They chose a girl that is my senior high classmates who can read rap. For me,
she was just a friend of mine and kind of like B-boy. But they kept suggest her to me. Actually, it's a bit of
annoyed, but they seemed to be happy. So I just let them joke on me. At last, my uncle told me it was just
kidding, the one who had chance to decide who my girlfriend should be was still me.
Actually, it is really cool that your family members use this kind of ways to show that they still take cares
about you. Family tables not always have to be serious, it doesn't have to be like you're reporting your day to
emperor or king and queen. It's can be like just chatting and discuss things that is not important. The most
important is that family gets together and spend time with each other and show cares to each other. That's
what "family tables" are for.
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臺北市私立金甌女子高級中學
梅緣緣 Vivian
The role of parents in adolescents’ development in America and in Taiwan
Nowadays, people start to focus on the issue of adolescents’ development. Parents might have different
view of educating their children, some of the parents were regarded as a helicopter parents because they have
been involving their kids activities too much, causing their child’s development. On the contrast, other parents
prefer to give their kids more opportunity to explore the world by themselves.
The issue of comparing Asian parents to America parents’ adolescent education is worth discussing. First,
Asians are more likely to put their children under surveillance , and these kind of circumstances may cause
their kids to be dependent on their father or mother too much, so they won’t be able to be independence.
However, American parents are usually aware of involving too much might lead to non-independent situation,
therefore they know when they should interfere or not. This makes all the difference.
Take me as an example, I’ve been to Canada for a month last year, the environment there are as same as
America, and I lived in Wishart BC, which is on the Victoria Island. When I first met the Canadian kids, I only
have one word to describe them, mature! All the kids behaved so well that I can’t even imagine they are only
7, and teenagers were so mature that I mistook them for adults, one of them are only 13 but she behaves like
25. By the time I was wondering about why they behave so different, I noticed something. Their parents won’t
drive them to school or pick them up after school, teenagers can drive their car to school or going to Walmart
to buy some daily supplies. Their parents also didn’t interfered their kid’s personal life, such as checking their
kid’s email or cellphone, what parents do is to teach, not helping their kids to finish the tasks they need to
finish, so kids need to do their own dishes, laundry, homework, and the best part is they won’t be spoiled by
their parents but can also learn things by doing themselves.
All in all, with all these amazing experiences I am fully aware of the difference between America and Taiwan,
so when I become a parent, I will imitate American’s adolescents developing skills.
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臺北市立永春高級中學 許秀華 Fortuna Hsu
The role of parents in adolescents’ development in America and in Taiwan
There is always a time during adolescents’ development when teenagers question aspects of family
relationships. Parents play important role in children’s lives, the relationship between them also changes
gradually to adapt to teenagers’ needs as they grow. Because of different cultures and values, parents in
Western countries and Eastern Countries educate their children in different ways.
There are several differences between parents in America and in Taiwan. Parents in America usually play
the role of guide in adolescents’ development. They know when to “let go”. By facing problems themselves,
kids are more independent. Also, children don’t get everything from their mom and dad, they work hard to get
what they want. Instead of helping, parents lead and teach step by step. They encourage their children to do
what they want and support decisions they make. They let their children develop themselves based on their
potentials.
In contrast, parents in Taiwan usually play the role of babysitter and coach, from infants to teenagers. Many of
them are what we called “Helicopter Parents”, they are overprotective. Those doting parents show excessive
fondness and love. Parents in Taiwan always tend to give all they have and want to provide the best to their
children. They prepare everything and even plan the future of their kids for them. Imperceptibly, they limit
their children’s abilities. But as time progresses, parents in Taiwan nowadays are more and more
open-minded.
Parents in America, in Taiwan, and in all the other countries have things in common. They are good
listeners. They are also good counselors who always give useful advices and are always there for their
children to talk to. Parents are those who stand by their children’s side no matter what. Most important, they
are those who love their children the most.
臺北市立中崙高級中學 廖恬 Lioa,Tien
What does "Family TABLE" mean to me?
Every Sunday evening , my parents , my elder brother , and I will go to my grandparents' house to have our
Family Table. Family Table is a very important time to me . It's our reunion once a week.
When I was little , my brother and I would always fight for the food that both of us like , such as beef ,
sashimi , etc. However, as we became older , this kind of "exercise" disappeared .
In the past , my mom would put a lot of vegetables in our plates. I still can remember that we would beg for
fewer vegetables , but of course she wouldn't. Nevertheless, both of we will take enough vegetables by
ourselves now.
During our Family Table , we'll talk about something special ,what happened at school , or discussions of
news.
In the end , the slowest one who hasn't finish his/her meal will have to do all the dishes . I'm always the
slowest , so I think I'm good at doing the dishes right now.
Family Table is not only a time for my family to have meals , but also a significant time for family's
conversations.
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臺北市立永春高級中學 陳必耕 Pi-Keng Chen
In Taiwan, most parents care much about children’s school grades, especially when they are in high
school, which is the golden time that decides which college they are going to enter. Most parents tend to ban
adolescents’ clubs activities. This usually leads to the wrong concept that “Studying is the best way.” or “You
have great grades, you are a good person.” Also, adolescents don’t have leading and organizing abilities,
which can only be learned through those activities which are out of textbooks. Those are really important
skills that influence our whole lives, but adolescents are required to get good grades and skip the chance to
gain those skills when they are just in the most active age. Most of the adolescents don’t know what they are
going to do in the future because Taiwanese parents take good care of their children and prepare everything
for them. Adolescents in Taiwan usually don’t have the abilities to deal with the problems by themselves. This
is because parents always hold their hands and lead them to the ways they want their children to go on.
Children and parents can’t pour out each others’ hearts because there are too much rules and traditions
between the elderly and the younger one.
In America, parents and children call each other their first name, so there is no big distance between them.
When it comes to education, parents accept the adolescents to do things they are interested in and let them try
every possibility they get. Also, they would encourage children to study at home, which is not familiar in
Taiwan. American parents treat their children equally, respecting the wishes of every individual child. They
believe that their children’s lives belong to themselves, whether now or in the future, every child can live
independently. Therefore, adolescents in America have full confidence and they know their parents have full
trust in them as well. Besides, American educations always encourage children to say their feelings out loud,
so adolescents have courage to try everything even when they don’t know what to do.
In comparison, American parents’ thoughts are free, so American adolescents are free and are usually
creative. On contrary, Taiwanese parents protect their children too much, so Taiwanese adolescents are usually
conservative and are afraid to let go and try. Although the two countries have such different culture and
thoughts between parents and adolescents, we can’t judge a person just by his/her nationality. In those
environments which are full of pressure, still, there are outstanding people who are as successful as who live
in the environments that are free.
20
臺北市私立方濟高中 黃祈寧 Amily
Among the values I have learned from my family, what do I find most important
My family is very liberal, they let me pursue what I love. When it comes to school work, they never blame
my poor test scores, because they think that as long as I show a responsible attitude and study hard, it does not
matter if I got bad grades. What’s important is that I have to learn the knowledge taught at school. On the
other hand, my family is very courteous and honest. I’ve been taught that I have to say hello when I meet
elders, and that I shouldn’t say rude words in front of anyone. Moreover, I shouldn’t have inappropriate
behaviors, such as sitting with our leg crossed, playing cellphones when eating or standing inappropriately.
We should also learn to have patience and not lie to our parents.
My family taught me to be able to look at the world through somebody else's eyes and stand in their shoes. We
need to learn to forgive people and help others. If someone is sick, we can help them finish their work, since
they must feel uncomfortable. I think that’s something we don’t have to argue with.
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臺北市立永春高級中學 簡至翰 Morrison
Among the values I have learned from my family, what do I found most important
Totally different from the traditional families in Taiwan, my family is a quite big family and we are close to
each other. Nowadays, tThere are still some big families in Taiwan, but most of them live with their father’s
relatives. My familyMine is living with my motherm’s relatives, I have get three aunts and , my mother is
their big sisteris the biggest sister of them. Like my mother, I am the biggest childone among within all my
cousins just like my mother. The most important thing taught by my family have taught me is to help each
other., I believethink thisat is why myour family can be so close and gathering every weekends. My mom
always often tells me that , they are your family if you don’t help your own familythem and , who else going
to do itwill? If you help peoplethem, they wouldwill help you either.. Even if they don’t, it’s fine. You helped
them is not for pay back just because they are your familyHelping people is not because you expect them to
do the same way as you did but because they are your dearest family. Time after time, when you are facing a
serious problem, everyone you had once help would be glad to supporthelp you. Everyone has their own weak
point,point; my family is not an exceptionthe same. However,But we help each other to get through every
moment., Mymy mom dedicate herself to our familydo what she can do, when she has problems on her works,
everyone is willing to supporthelp her as she has any problem. Due to the value I learned from my
familyBecause of my mom, when I have problems, I can turn to my aunts and uncles for help. Sometimes I
may thoughtink I don’t really have to help others., Instead,but my mom would tell me, says” If you can help,
why don’t you help people if you are able to do it?” Aat the moment, I would feel myself embarrassed and
selfish.
Why I find this the most important thing? It is because If you treat your friend with this kind attitudelike
this, they wouldill be glad to make be one of your friends with you. Even wWhen you are facing a fatal
situation maybe they will help you. Those who helped you, they might be your lifelong friend. Friends and
family is the same, you can’t always stay with your family, but you can always have friends around you. Do
not anticipate how others would repay for your helpingbefore helping others, never think about will he or she
pay back. Helping is a generous behavior, and the value of helping is to enjoy the delightful feeling after you
take the first step of helping you can never imagine how can others help you. Unless you don’t care about
others reaction then don’t help them. If you need help, but they do nothing, you will be angry or unhappy. If
you think yourself will then you lose the meaning of helping people.
Although it’s eEasier said than done, I am still learning this selflesskind of spirit. Of courseSometimes I
would still befelt upsetnhappy when other peoples don’t help me as well. Even so, I feel relieved after I have a
second thought of it, but after I felt unhappy, I think deeply. Maybe they do wanted to help, justbut they don’t
know how to take action. No matter what, That is why I say we should not help others with expect pay backif
you really care about the “pay back” then don’t help others. I think the value of helping is the most important
thing for me to learn in my whole life from my family.
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臺北市私立金甌女子高級中學 鄭文惠 Annie
Among the values I have learned from my family, what do I find most important
Every family has their own way to teach there children. Among the values you have learned from your family,
what do you found most important to them? Is it the manners, is it the attitude for life or is there anything
special from your family’s teaching lessons?
My parents are very attention to family education, they think that those children who has bad manners when
they grew up it is parents responsibility. From childhood till now, I had learned a lot of things from my family.
Among these things I find the most important thing to my parents, that is “The attitude to my life.”
In Taiwan there’s lots of test, parents in Taiwan cares much about the score that children get, but not my
parents. In my memory, I remember that when I was in the second grade of junior high school the math is so
hard that I can’t catch up at school so I decided to go to the cram school to increase my math ability. At cram
school I practiced my math again and again, but I felt frustrated every time when I did the math exercises.
When I found that the final exam is just around the corner and I hadn’t prepared well for my math, I was
afraid that I will fail the exam.
The exam is over and I got the transcript, just like I had predicted my math failed. My pace felt heavy when I
walk home. When I step into my home I ran straight back to my room and closed the door to hide my mom.
My mom found that I was weird that day so she asked me what happened when we were having dinner. I told
her the truth, unexpectedly she didn’t scold at me. She said : ”Attitude is more important than what you got in
the end. You had worked hard before the test, although you didn’t pass the test, at least you had tried your
best. ”
There is a saying, Attitude determines altitude. So I think my mom is right, the results are important but the
process is more important. This is what I find most important from my family, how about you what is yours?
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捌、美國與會學生論文
Essays from American Participants
Joanna Williams,
Youth Educator, Canada
1) Family Traditions/Values:
One of our biggest family traditions is eating together. Whether it is a daily meal or a special meal over an
occasion like someone’s birthday or anniversary, we are always trying to get together over food to just
connect and catch up with each other. These times of connections are very precious and valued and give us
time to truly talk and understand each other’s daily struggles, challenges, joys etc. and help us to create
bonds of understanding with each other.
Another one of our biggest family traditions is drinking tea or coffee together in the late evenings and
simply going over the day and what happened during the day. A tea/coffee between lunch and dinner in the
late afternoon is the most relaxed time of the day. Work is usually over and we feel relaxed and before we
head off to any evening commitments we get together as a family and just talk. We could talk about politics,
our faith, our challenges and struggles, our relationships, friendships, homework, ambitions etc.
One of our recent family traditions is group texts and group emails. With life becoming extremely busy, we
are always sending each other group texts and emails with encouraging words, music, songs, quotes and
updates through the day on whether we need to help each other with rides or cooking food etc.
One of our more recent family traditions is also family groups that we create on social media such as
facebook groups, google plus etc. where we share our family pictures, travel experiences etc.
Another great family tradition we have is a yearly road trip or travel arrangement somewhere together.
Whether this is a day trip to a nice spot locally, or a weekend road trip, or a trip to the beach or a longer trip
to a vacation spot, we love travelling together. On the way to our destination we are always talking, playing
games and getting to know each other. We share music in the car, pray together, talk together and just enjoy
each other’s company. Last year, my family and I went on a four day trip to Ottawa, Montreal, Quebec City,
Vermont, New Hampshire and Boston. It was an absolutely amazing trip filled with talks and time together
and also with amazing views and stunning landscapes. We enjoyed the beauty of the world we have been
given and also the beauty of conversation with each other.
My favorite family value is out nightly time of prayer and sharing, Every night my parents always come
together to read something from our favorite books, quote something inspirational and of value and we all
talk about what that means to us in life and how we can actually practice faith and love in our corner of the
world. When we pray we include family needs, the needs all over our world and the needs of neighbors,
friends etc. and we believe that our prayers are being heard and answered. It is this belief and value system
that has kept me going in the tough times of life.
2) Discussion Questions on TABLE
Talk for Togetherness:
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Accept for affirmation:
Building for Blessing:
e definition of a blessing?
Listen for Love
last time you truly listened to a friend?
Enjoy for Example:
3) Experience/Reflections on living/promoting TABLE
Talk for Togetherness:
It is so important to share and to talk openly and to live life sharing our experiences and our learning and
growth with others. I really feel and have experienced that as we talk together, we come closer together as
people and as family and as communities. Talking together builds bonds of understanding and closeness and
encourages friendship and trust. It is so important to talk, share opinions and explain who we are to others
around us to build trust and community.
Accept for affirmation:
It is so good to hear affirming things. Each day I try to say things in an affirming and encouraging way
because I know how much it means to me to be encouraged and accepted. I know that smiles, strong words
of kindness, hugs and encouragement truly go a long way in blessing and leaving a legacy of kindness in
our world. My personal pledge in this area is texting and emailing or contacting my friends over social
media with positive quotes and reminders.
Building for Blessing
It is good to bless others and to build relationships on blessing. Blessing can just be encouraging others and
speaking words of affirmation to them. Blessing is loving others just as they are and building networks of
25
love and trust with them. I like the concept of building on a blessing. It is important to listen and to honor
others in your life and accept and honor their blessings on your life as well as to speak blessing on others
lives as well. I have loved the blessings and affirmation of my family in my life and hope to pass on these
blessings to my young people.
Listen for Love
Listening is such a lost art in our world. One of my favorite sayings is “Be quick to listen, slow to speak
and slow to anger”. This amazing quote always reminds me to listen more and speak only when needed and
that will also keep my frustration and anger down. Listening is such a great quality. I also want to listen to
the world and the beautiful nature around me as it whispers it’s mysteries to me. Those who listen well,
learn much. It has been my personal commitment to listen to people in my life and to love others by
listening to them.
Enjoy for Example:
It is good to enjoy friendships and to enjoy relationships. I feel as we put each other first and each other’s
needs first we will become great examples to everyone of love and grace and peace. As we enjoy each other,
we place each other in that special place of honor and we create an atmosphere where others are first and
they feel loved and encouraged. If each of us did this, we would create an incredible world!! I would love to
live an exemplary life. Actions speak louder than words!!
4) Reflections on how to promote TABLE in Mississauga
As a non profit youth organization, Recreation Youth and Young Adults is committed to providing
opportunities to promote the concept of TABLE within our communities here in Mississauga on campuses
and neighborhoods. The concepts listed in TABLE are very dear and near to our heart as a non profit and
we are currently implementing these behaviors in our lives as well as the
programs we run in communities and the relationships we have with current youth and young adults in our
programs.
The City of Mississauga is very committed as well to the concept of family values as presented within
TABLE. Since Recreation Youth is a non profit youth organization affiliated with the city of Mississauga,
the City would be very supportive of the concept of TABLE being presented and shared in youth programs
within the City of Mississauga.
Wesley Mills, The University of Oklahoma, Oklahoma, USA
Discussion Questions:
T - Talk for Togetherness
1.
What are some examples of times when you felt like communication was inhibited?
constrained talk?
2.
What is the primary reason you converse with your father?
is a good reason to communicate?
26
Mother?
Siblings?
What
Do you think this
3.
How can we use communication to intentionally develop love and respect?
A- Accept for affirmation
1.
How do you want your family to view/treat you?
be viewed/treated?
How do you think your family members wants to
2.
What are some ways you can show your appreciation for different members of your family?
3.
Do you feel accepted by your family?
Why?
Why or why not?
If no, who do you feel most accepted by?
B-Build for blessing
1.
How can we build each other up? If this seems a little abstract, start by giving examples of times
when you received positive encouragement. Now how can we apply a similar model to interaction
with family members?
2.
What are some positive things you recognize in others’ lives but forget to thank them for?
3.
Reflect on a time when you were frustrated or stressed. Did you receive encouragement?
encouragement have helped at the time?
Would
L- Listen for love
1.
Think of a time when you shared something personal with someone else. What about the other
person’s attitude made it easy or difficult to share?
2.
What are the benefits of listening?
3.
How can we make ourselves better listeners?
person feels respected and able to share?
Why do people appreciate others listening to them?
What practical steps can we take to make sure the other
E- Enjoy for example
1.
What do you least enjoy about your family?
What do you most enjoy about your family?
2.
What makes you most happy at family gatherings? What motivates this joy?
underlying motivation tell you about your core view on family?
3.
How can you make spending time with family even more of an enjoyable experience?
a few practical steps concerning attitude and actions that can help in this.
What does this
Make a list of
Family Traditions and Relationships:
My family life has always been quite strong relationally. When we lived overseas in Mongolia and
Nepal, my siblings were some of the only people close to my age who I could communicate with
comfortably. I communicate especially well with my older sister, in part because we think in very similar
ways. One of the venues where we would spend time together quite regularly was in the kitchen cleaning
up after dinner. While I soaped and rinsed plates and pots she would dry them and put them away. We
always took much longer than was necessary to accomplish such a simple task. Our conversation ranged
from philosophy to art to science to politics.
My relationship with my father has been slightly different from that with my siblings since he spends most
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of his days working. However, when our family moved to a more rural area in Mongolia he began to miss
conversing with friends his age. Being one of his oldest children, I was able to talk with him in a mature
manner more so than my younger brothers. I think our relationship really took off for me when I was
willing to be a little more vulnerable and honest with him. When I expressed my lack of self-control in
certain areas in my life, my longing to improve and my inability to do so, he provided loving, sound advice.
While I felt shame at first, all I felt after sharing my weakness was a deeper, more open relationship. Now
I actively seek time to spend with my father, especially when I am going through more difficult times in my
life. These conversations are usually not at the most convenient time because of his work, but even so the
reward of a stronger relationship is worth the late nights spent in conversation and the gleaning of wisdom.
A big part of family interaction is meal time, especially dinner. This is the one meal where everyone is
home and eats together around a table. Most of the time each person will share a little bit about their day
just to get conversation going and to make sure everyone is doing alright. After dinner the conversation
goes to any given topic of interest. We laugh a lot in my family, which I really enjoy.
One of the most practical steps my parents took in the interest of building up family relationships was
setting aside Sunday as a day of rest. We would read the Bible and pray together in the morning or
afternoon, cook dinner together, and play some kind of game after dinner. Going through different parts of
relaxed, everyday tasks together always allowed for a lot of communication and built up unity.
A quick recap of the major traditions in my family:
1.
Sharing an evening meal together. Everyone is present and everyone contributes to the talk. WE
reflect on our separate experiences that day.
2.
Watching movies together on Friday night.
3.
Working together on mundane tasks. This can be anything from washing dishes to taking care of a
garden, it just provides an opportunity to be together.
4.
Playing games on Sunday evening. We come together to compete, laugh, and enjoy each other’s
company.
5.
Reading the Bible and praying on Sunday morning. Perhaps our strongest bond is a result of our God
that transcends normal relations.
It’s a fun way of creating a common experience.
Ending thoughts: Traditions are wasted if they do not serve to bring a group closer together.
vehicle toward unity.
They are a
Reflections on TABLE
Talk for Togetherness
Conversing with others is important in order to understand them. Spoken language is important when
relaying information. It allows us to relate to one another on a more personal level. I would also extend
this beyond mere verbal communication. “Talk” can be silent, it can be manifested through actions and even
silence. The point is to seek interpersonal communication with others so that we can better empathize with
one another.
Accept for Affirmation
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When I think of acceptance I think of its counterpart: vulnerability. Being vulnerable, expressing feelings
that may be embarrassing or awkward, is the best way to build trust in a relationship. The response to
vulnerability must be acceptance, it shows support and love for the other person. By affirming others you
show yourself to be an accepting person, and half of the bridge for a trusting has been built.
Build for Blessing
This is very similar to the last point. Encouraging others is essential to creating strong, loving relationships.
Blessing one another creates a sense of unity. Encouraging one another shows that you really do care what
happens in another person’s life and you want to stand by them.
Listen for Love
Listening, to me, entails a respect for others. Often the one who does not listen is busy talking, and the one
who talks much often thinks much of his own words. Therefore the primary challenge of listening is
humility. When we listen to others, we are seeking to understand them. This understanding of another’s
situation builds a strong empathetic link and strengthens relationships.
Enjoy for Example
Relationships with loved ones is a blessing. It is meant to be enjoyed. As we demonstrate enjoyment for
one another it shows what a beautiful thing a unified family can be. Being with one another and encouraging
each other to a greater end is a great privilege and one that we should take advantage of.
Jessica Myles, The Woodlands School, Mississauga, Canada
Family Values and Traditions
As a family, there many traditions and events that deepen our relationships whether it be related to certain
special events or weekly activities. Firstly, one example of a family value that leads to a tradition is how my
family values togetherness and thus has monthly family movie nights. For these nights, we alternate which
family member gets to choose the movie and we all watch it together in our living room while enjoying
popcorn and other treats. This tradition not only strengthens our bonds but promotes tolerance as we watch
movies that others have chosen that may not be our favourite genre.
Moreover, another example of a family tradition rooted in value is how we celebrate each one of our birthdays.
Each year, on the day of a family member’s birthday our family dinner will consist of their favourite foods
and no matter how busy our schedules are, we all eat dinner together and rejoice in that person’s birthday.
Further, an important family tradition we do in the summer time revolves around our annual family vacation.
Each year we decide upon a location in a day’s driving distance and embark there for a week to relax and
sight-see. Last year, we visited West Virginia and were able to explore American history together through the
historic towns present there. More than just a trip, the act of driving together someone and spending a week
together without the distraction of school or work allows us time to really connect and spend time with each
other.
Lastly, another example of an important family custom relates to how we celebrate Thanksgiving.
Thanksgiving is a popular North American holiday that celebrates the fall harvest and each year we gather
with our extended family and enjoy a feast together. Before we eat, we make sure to say grace to show our
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thankfulness for the food we are able to afford and the family we have surrounding us. This tradition is very
important as it one of the few occasions my extended family all celebrates and eats together.
Promoting T.A.B.L.E
Talk and Togetherness
Talk and togetherness are important aspects of my life as it isn’t always easy to open up to others to form
relationships. As a part of the Mississauga City Youth Council, it is my job to communicate with constituents
and with the city in order to further our business in good faith. As well, by reaching out into my community
and listening to their concerns, I am able to build togetherness and better serve my city.
Affection and Affirmation
Affirmation is an extremely powerful too as it motivates and encourages other to continue to succeed. When it
comes to my school life, appraising others plays a huge role as when assignments begin to become
increasingly difficult myself and my peers often feel overwhelmed. By praising and encouraging each other
we are able to find the confidence to perform at our best. Whether it is a simple smile in the hallways, by
being kind to others you create a more positive environment around you.
Building a Blessing
Passing on love to those around you is a simple way to brighten the days of friends, family, and even strangers.
Blessings serve as a way to thank those that have taken the time to help you in your life, as well as to wish
luck to those finding themselves in tough situations. By giving and accepting blessings, I am able to build
stronger ties to those around me.
Listen in Love
Listening is crucial in understanding those around you. True communication depends on talking AND
listening in order for both parties to be able to express themselves. I promote listening by always lending an
ear to my friends when the seek out my comfort and advice. By listening to their issues I am able to provide
them help as well as further build trust and a friendship with them.
Enjoy Each other, Example to Everyone
Enjoying those around you is such an easy yet important part of life. With the stressful lives we all tend to
lead, it easy to get lost in your work and forget to take the time to enjoy your life by celebrating it with those
around you. By keeping a positive attitude and allowing myself the time to spend time with other doing
activities I love, I am able to enjoy the company of those in my life.
T.A.B.L.E Discussion Questions
Talk and Togetherness:
How is togetherness important for family life?
Why is talking so important in building relationships?
Is your life open to others?
Affection and Affirmation:
Why is praise important?
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How do you feel when others praise you?
How often do you encourage those around you with words?
Building a Blessing:
What is a blessing?
How do you feel when others bless you?
Why are blessings important in daily life?
Listen in Love:
Why is it crucial to truly listen to others as they speak?
Is speaking more important than listening?
How can you make sure to take to time to listen to those around you?
Enjoy Each other, Example to Everyone:
Why activities/events bring you joy?
Why should you live your life as an example?
Does the enjoyment of others make you happy?
Bethany Dykstra, Northwestern College, Iowa, USA
T: Talk for Togetherness.
The instrument or place that allows people to talk together in truthfulness and trust.
What does this look like for families?
1.Instruments:
-Doing an activity or having a conversation with a family member that affirms their unique interests or duties
(shopping with a sister who loves shopping, doing the dishes with your mother, playing a sport with a brother
who enjoys that sport, talking with your father about his work, etc.). This makes them feel valued and allows
truthful, trusting conversation to happen between you and them.
-Having a non-judgmental attitude.
-Being willing to initiate a deep, truthful conversation about life and trusting the other person to listen well
and respond.
2.Places: We need to purposely put ourselves in these good atmospheres for truthful, trusting conversations.
-In a family member’s private room
-In a car/vehicle with one other family member
-In the midst of preparing for a celebration – cooking/cleaning/decorating together with family
-On outings that affirm other family members’ interests
What does this look like for friends?
1.Instruments:
-See family instruments above.
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2.Places: Again, purposely put yourself in these atmospheres that promote truthful, trusting talk.
-At a friend’s home (or another place they feel comfortable)
-On outings that affirm your friend’s interests
-In a car/vehicle alone with that friend
-At a lunch table alone with that friend or with a small group of friends
A: Accept for Affirmation.
A place where everyone can analyze/improve their relationships, created by affection and affirmation for each
other.
How can we show affection to family members to create a safe place for analyzing/improving relationships?
a. Affirm family members appropriately to build trust and increase willingness to analyze/improve your
relationship.
-If you’re doing an activity with a family member that they enjoy or that they are good at, compliment them
on their abilities or ask them questions about the activity. This pastime is part of who they are, so affirming
this interest/ability they have affirms them as a person.
-Simply ask how their day is going. Again, this shows interest in them as a person and creates an atmosphere
for improving your relationship.
-Say “thank you” or compliment family members whenever they serve you. Thank your mother for
cooking/cleaning, thank your father for working to pay for the food on the table, and thank siblings for
helping you with schoolwork, etc.
3.Forgive others or ask for forgiveness.
-Show with your actions that you forgive family members. Don’t continually avoid them, talk angrily about
what they did, etc.
-Go ask for forgiveness, and be willing to calmly listen to the other person’s accusations without getting
defensive.
4.Don’t allow yourself or others to gossip about family members.
How can we show affection to friends to create a safe place for analyzing/improving relationships?
1.See family section above. Especially, don’t participate in gossip!
2.When other people start to talk about a friend in a hurtful way (for example, at the lunch
table), try to change the subject.
B: Build for blessing.
By improving family relationships, we are building a blessing for generations to come.
Why are good family relationships a blessing?
3.Joy abounds in the absence of fighting/strife. Families can enjoy their time together during meals, outings,
and holidays because they are not fighting with each other.
4.Less family fighting/tension help guests to feel more welcomed, happy, and safe in your home.
1.We can get help (emotional, spiritual, material, physical, etc.) from family members if we’re not fighting
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with them.
2.It gives us joy when we serve and affirm family members.
How do these blessings go on to future generations of family?
If parents, their children, and siblings have good relationships while living together in the home, they will be
more likely to gather and spend time together in the future when each child has their own children. Thus,
when these extended families spend time together, the new generation of children will get to witness the joy of
healthy family relationships. Based on the example they see, they will learn how to adopt healthy family
living for themselves and for their future children.
Why are good relationships with friends a blessing?
See family section above. You can enjoy each other’s company more, you can receive friends’ assistance
(emotional, spiritual, material, physical, etc.), and you can feel the joy of serving/affirming friends.
How do these blessings go on to future generations of friends?
Your friends, siblings, future children/nieces/nephews, etc. will see how you treat your friends and follow that
example in their own friendships, thus setting an example for all younger generations that watch them.
L: Listen for Love.
Listen with love to family members with the hope that everyone can become more by being in proximity.
How can we listen lovingly to family members?
1.Pay attention to what family members say at meal times, etc., and ask questions to show that you care.
2.Be willing to initiate conversations often with family members about how their lives are going. They
probably will not speak to you a lot or give you opportunities to listen to them if you don’t show that you care
to talk to them.
3.Don’t tease them for the strange things they do or say.
How do we become “more” by being in proximity with family members?
1.Listening to and learning family members’ unique perspectives help us learn to think critically and to look at
the world in new ways than we did before.
2.Learning to have good relationships with family members teaches us how to have better relationships with
other people in the future.
3.Part of being human is being in relationship with others. We celebrate and affirm our humanity by
maintaining positive relationships.
4.Also see “Why are good family relationships a blessing?” in the B section.
How can we listen lovingly to friends?
See family section above.
How do we become “more” by being in proximity with friends?
1.See family section above.
2.Also see “Why are good relationships with friends a blessing?” in the B section.
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E: Enjoy for Example.
Enjoy each other and be an example for everyone!
How can we enjoy our family members?
1.Be willing to laugh with people instead of laughing at them. Family members can be strange, but don’t
criticize everything they do or say. This ruins the joy of family time.
2.Utilize each other’s gifts/interests when you spend time together. For example, if you play a game with your
family, pick one person who is good at math to keep score, pick another person who enjoys leadership to teach
the game to the rest of the family, etc. Everyone enjoys the activity more this way.
How can we set an example of TABLE for other families?
1.Don’t be embarrassed to set an example of TABLE by affirming family members, listening lovingly, etc.,
when other families or guests are in your home.
2.Don’t be embarrassed to go to public places with your family and to set an example of TABLE through
affirming each other, listening lovingly, etc.
How can we enjoy our friends?
See family section above.
How can we set an example of TABLE for other people and their friendships?
See family section above.
Working Together: Busyness and Family Life
Family traditions and your own experience
By Bethany Dykstra, Northwestern College, USA
Students lead intensely focused, busy lives. Whether they live in a bustling city or a small village, most of
their educational programs require them to work long, hard hours to perform well and create hopeful futures
for themselves and their families. Amidst this busyness, though, students might have little time to spend with
family members they love and support. As a result, family relationships can become weak. Similar hectic lives
can cause spouses to have weak relationships that end in divorce. Amidst everyone’s busy schedules, how can
family members find time to spend together and form stronger relationships?
My own experience with family life, although imperfect, offers one possible approach to this task. Everyone
in my family, including both of my parents, my older sister, and my younger brother, lead very active lives.
My father works six days a week, my mother helps my father with his business, and my siblings and I
participate in sporting and musical activities alongside our schoolwork. Still, we strive to find times in our
schedules when we can all gather around the table and eat a meal together every day. These meals are nothing
special or elaborate. We don’t have fancy feasts or always discuss thought-provoking topics. However, by
sitting together for a time every day, we learn to the basic art of peaceful coexistence. No longer can we avoid
each other or avoid tension between our members, for we sit face-to-face and talk.
Most of the time, our conversation is mundane, and sometimes it gets ugly, but at least we still fellowship
together. Just in case we can’t think of anything positive to talk about, my mother has us draw a slip of paper
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from a box filled with meaningful conversation topics to discuss instead. Through this process of learning how
to talk as a family while sharing a meal, we begin to better understand and listen to each other. It doesn’t take
any extra time to eat together instead of separately, either, which compliments our busy schedules.
After finishing the meal, my family participates in a short ‘devotional’. We read a little bit from God’s book of
truth and then read a human example or story that explains that truth. A belief that God loves our family and
wants us to learn about him together motivates our reading. These passages teach us how to show God’s love
to each other and to the world. Devotionals don’t always seem extremely exciting or enlightening, and as
normal human beings, it can be difficult to pay attention during devotional readings day after day. Yet my
family knows that spending time together and celebrating our faith is still a valuable privilege that we should
not give up.
At the end of each week, my family unites by doing one more activity. My father takes a morning off of work,
my mother prepares a simple meal to eat later, and we all wake up and go to meet with our church. Even
though my family members do not talk much to each other while at our place of worship, we enjoy talking
with and being encouraged by members of our larger family of God. By attending church, we remember and
learn of the larger faith that holds our family together. When the service concludes, my family enjoys a simple
meal together at home, celebrating the blessing of another week of opportunities to strengthen our
relationships with each other.
Despite our imperfections, my family’s basic pattern of sharing meals, reading devotionals, and attending faith
services helps hold us together as a unit. We rarely have time or energy to go on long or expensive outings as a
family, but we can usually find time to do the three things I have described and to learn to enjoy our
relationships with each other in the process. Amidst life’s business, it is still possible to build a better future
with our families. Students, let’s learn together how to celebrate the relationships that matter most.
Discussion questions
T: Situations good for talk that lead to togetherness?
1. Is it important to have close relationships with your family members? Is it enough to just have close friends
outside of your family? Why or why not? What makes family relationships special? Please share about a close
relationship you've had with a family member that impacted your life in a way that a friend couldn't.
2. What would you talk about with someone (a friend, significant other, family member) if you wanted to
develop a better relationship with them?
3. Being in which places or doing what activities would help you to start conversations about those things?
(Or does it matter where you are or what you're doing?)
4. Please give examples of activities you've done with your family that have led to meaningful conversations
(that helped you develop a deeper relationship) with members of your family. Chores? Holiday preparation?
Traditions? Outings?
A: How do you accept someone through affirmation?
1. Why do people like to be affirmed? Please give examples of reasons you like to be affirmed (or
complimented).
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2. What kinds of affirmation or compliments do you like to receive? Why? Do others have to affirm you using
a certain tone of voice, have certain motivations, etc.?
3. Can human beings function well without affirmation? Could you function well if others never affirmed you?
Please share about a time when you felt you needed affirmation.
4. How does it change a relationship when someone affirms someone else? Please share about a time when
you gave or received a compliment and it changed your relationship with someone else.
5. Please share one affirmation that you think each of your family members would enjoy receiving. How do
you think they would react to receiving these affirmations? Would it change your relationship with them?
How?
6. What are some practical settings where you can see yourself giving these affirmations?
7. Is it worth risking discomfort or negative reception to give a family member an honest affirmation?
B: How can we build a blessing of family for future generations?
1. Are family relationships a unique blessing? Do they have different potentials than relationships with friends?
Please share about a relationship you have with a family member that could not be replaced by a friend from
outside your family.
2. What makes family relationships blessings instead of curses? Please share of a time that a family member
made you feel blessed with encouraging words, gifts, etc.
3. What elements of family do you want your descendants to experience? Please share about an element of
family that you love and want to pass down to the next generation.
4. How do you pass an element of family to the next generation? Do you tell them about it? Do you show it to
them through example?
5. What could get in the way of teaching your children an element of family? Please take a specific element of
family that you want to teach to your kids and come up with a possible obstacle that could make passing on
this element more difficult.
L: How can we listen to or love family members to make ourselves "more"?
1. What does it look like to show love to others? How do you love a friend? How do you love a significant
other? How do you love a family member? Please share about a time that you expressed love to a family
member in a way that made them feel special.
2. How important is listening in showing love to others? Please tell a story about a time that someone listened
to you and it made you feel loved. How does this compare to the feeling you get when people show love to
you in other ways (gifts, physical touch, etc.)?
3. How does listening closely to someone else change or benefit the listener? Please tell a story of a time you
listened to a friend and it changed the way you looked at the world or changed how you viewed yourself in a
positive way.
4. Please share your experiences with listening to a family member. What makes it hard to listen? Is it
important to overcome those hardships? Why? How could you overcome those hardships?
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5. What makes it hard or unappealing to talk with family members about our lives? Please share about a time
that you wanted to share something or were asked to share something with your family, but an emotion kept
you from talking (fear, anger, apathy, etc.).
E: How do we enjoy our families and spread that joy to other families by setting an example?
1. Do you think you could enjoy interactions with your family members more if you... a. Talked to them
more?
b. Affirmed them more?
c. Thought of them as a blessing? d. Listened to and loved them?
2. Do you think it would be possible to promote this TABLE culture within your own family and have
everyone participate? Please tell us how you'd explain the TABLE culture to each of your family members in a
way that would help them understand and want to enjoy a TABLE culture.
3. How could you explain or show the TABLE culture to your friends or to other families that you know? Why
would you want to do this instead of just having the TABLE culture in your own family? Please think of a
specific friend and come up with a way that you could explain the TABLE model to them so that they'd want
to incorporate it in their own family.
4. Should you focus only on learning and enjoying your family through the TABLE culture first and later set
an example for other families? Is it possible to do both at the same time? If not, how long should you wait
between applying TABLE in your own family and then setting an example?
5. Can you set an example without effort - just by others seeing the way that you interact with your family
whenever they see you with your family - or would it be better (or necessary) to intentionally set an example
of TABLE? Do you need to directly talk to your friends about family health (TABLE)? Would it be a good
idea to invite other families to eat with your family so they can see your family acting out TABLE?
Emily Young, Grand Valley State University, Michigan, USA
Family traditions
T. Talk for Togetherness
1.In my family, if we have any problems, we talk about them. Everyone in my family strives on remaining
calm when bringing up any topics because it’s easier to understand where they are coming from and to openly
discuss any topic on a mutual level. If we want to talk about something to just one of us, we typically
approach that person that we want to talk to when they aren’t busy or could have a second to talk. When we
have whole family discussions we talk about them over dinner together, or my parents will call us all to the
living room when we are already home to talk about things together with everyone.
2.Discussions over dinner were my favorite things about growing up. My parents, my sisters and I would be
apart all day, come home and start homework separately, and dinner was the perfect time to talk about our
days and listen to everything going on in each others lives. We always laughed over dinner and it was perfect
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for our bonding as a family. Other times dinner was not so easy. One of my sisters and I sometimes have
clashing personalities and we would start arguments at dinner. My parents made the rule that arguing at the
table was never allowed but if we had problems we could calmly talk about them. If we ever would start
yelling we had to leave the table and couldn’t finish eating. It taught me to approach things more calmly with
my sister because I valued that time at the table. When I moved out to college I took the dinnertime
experiences with me, and my roommates and I make time for one dinner at least together every week.
Accept for Affirmation
1. I really appreciate my mom in every way. We have identical personalities and I’m following the same
career path as her. She has really laid out good examples for me and has supported me in everyway. She took
me to church every Sunday and taught me how to grow in faith and also took me on all my college visits so I
could make an informed decision. She is someone in my life who I can openly talk too about anything
My dad has always been the one in my life to push me to follow my dreams and never quit. When I was
younger he got me involved in sports and afterschool actives and attended every game. I really appreciate him
that he gave me all of those experiences and supported me through all of them.
I really appreciate my younger sister Allison. Our relationship hasn’t always been the easiest but she has also
taken time to listen to my side of the argument as well and has always been calm while disagreeing with me.
She taught me a lot about how to become a better older sister and life skills of working with people who I may
have differencing opinions.
My youngest sister Sara has also been a blessing in my life. I appreciate her ability to question everything in
life. Growing up she taught me a lot about responsibility for caring for her. She also continues to make me feel
connected to the family, even while living hours away but texting and calling me.
2. My sister Allison and often offended each other due to clashing personalities. As we continue to get older
we have made a really big effort to learn more about each other and quickly forgive each other because most
of our arguments are not relevant and we do love each other.
In college I have found a lot of people who don’t support my Christian religious views. I have always had
respect for everyone but it hurt me that certain people can’t have that same respect for me. My whole family
has been there for me as a reminder of our values. They are always just a phone call away, to comfort me and
teach me more about my faith and the importance of forgiveness.
Build for Blessing
1.My family has always just been there for me, especially during my time away from college when I get
stressed with school very easily. They have been more than willing to answer every phone call, just to tell me
everything will be okay. Having them there for me, although they aren’t physically with me has been a huge
blessing and has calmed a lot of my stress during school.
2.As the oldest sister, I am trying my best to lead the best example for my younger sisters and to continue to
provide support as they are going through the same experiences that I did. Both of my sisters know that they
are able to come to me about anything they are experiencing. My sister Allison has been having a lot of
trouble in her college search, something I’ve already gone through. I have relieved her stress by allowing her
to talk to me about her frustrations and I’ve given her tips and advice to help her. It makes me feel valued that
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both of my sisters know I am there as a helping tool and come to me for advice.
Listen for Love
1. I feel most safe an open to talk in a mutual environment where I am not intimidated. I like to talk openly
and be in a position where I can talk without judgment and someone is going to listen. I think this is crucial
for good communication.
2. My mom and I are very close. I know sometimes she feels underappreciated in our house, although we
appreciate everything she does for us because it’s a lot. I try to listen to her concerns fully, without having my
own opinion to just hear what she is having problems with. After I listen to her, in a sensitive topic I am able
to come up with a solution for her and communicate with my sisters to hopefully make her feel more
appreciated.
Enjoy for Example
1.My extended family and I get together as often as we can. We always celebrate holidays like Easter,
Christmas, and Thanksgiving together to remind each other of the importance of the holiday. When the whole
family is together, discussion around a table is difficult but we all gather in the living room, without T.V. to
reduce distractions and talk freely. Sometimes there are a couple different conversations going on but for the
most part we are all listening and giving discussion on one subject.
2.My family has not had the experience yet of inviting someone under privileged into our home. I had that
experience myself however on a college trip to California. We worked with the homeless population and ate
meals with them. That was important to me because they don’t often have the opportunity to talk with others. I
made sure to listen to them fully, and provide them an opportunity to have a conversation with someone who
was willing to listen to them. It was also a great experience for me to learn about new cultures and lifestyles. It
is something I want to continue to do and introduce that to my family.
Family Rituals
My family celebrates every holiday together. Holidays we celebrate include Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving,
and birthdays. During holidays like Christmas and Easter my family gets together with our extended family
also so we can celebrate and remember the meaning behind the seasons. Christmas is usually at my Nana’s
and Papa’s and Easter is at our house. Everyone brings dishes to pass to help us enjoy the day. Holidays are a
big time for my entire extended family to all be together and catch up on each other’s lives so we stay
connected. I always look forward to holidays and seeing everyone, and also learning together the importance
of Christmas and Easter.
A tradition my family has always had is going to church together on Sundays. When I was younger I hated
waking up early and dressing up for church but now that I’m older I really value the effort my family put in to
help me discover my faith. Now that I don’t live at home anymore, going to church with my family is
something I have to miss out on but I’ve adapted it into going with my roommates, and they have become like
family to me because we share these traditions that I used to have with my parents and sisters.
Another ritual my family does is eat dinner together. Growing up we ate together every night and we used that
time to talk about our day or talk about what we want to do either together or with other friends. I really
bonded with my family over dinnertime because there were no distractions. If my sister and I every yelled at
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each other over dinner we weren’t allowed to eat with the family. It taught me a lot of patience and how to
state my opinion with my sister in a calm matter because leaving the dinner table was a punishment.
New Year’s Eve bowling is a tradition my family has created about 6 years ago. On New Year’s Eve we all go
bowling to welcome in the New Year. This is important because nobody is working and I am finally home
from college and we have a lot of fun together. I also appreciate that while many others are drinking on New
Year’s I’m in a much better environment with my family. My family helped me to develop a lot of morals and
I will continue to spend time having fun with them.
Every year in the summer when my sisters and I aren’t in school, and my mom doesn’t work from being a
teacher we take a vacation every year. My dad will take a week off of work and we normally go somewhere
affordable. Some times it’s a road trip to northern Michigan to cite see, and every three or four years we go on
a big vacation to Disney world or on a cruise. It’s a week we all look forward to, and a rare opportunity when
all of us are home at once without other distractions.
It’s not exactly a ritual but my family does an amazing job of keeping me connected to them while I am hours
away at school. They call once a week, to give me space but also because it’s good to catch up over a week.
My sisters also text me important details in the family and even just their lives and I do the same with them.
This has really helped me continue my strong bond with my family, although we aren’t together.
Discussion Questions
Talk for Togetherness
Who in your life has been a good example of a good communicator and why? How can talking honestly and
openly solve problems?
What are ways all of us can become more open in communication?
Accept for Affirmation
How can showing acceptance, also show love and compassion towards others? Describe a time someone else
showed love and support towards you.
What are examples of what we can say to show our affirmation for others?
Build for Blessing
Give an example of receiving a blessing and how that affected you.
What are some examples of how you have provided your blessing and why that was significant? In your own
words how would you describe a blessing?
Listen for Love
When can it be difficult to listen to others, when can it be easy? How does others listening affect how you feel?
What are ways you can become a better listener to someone?
Enjoy for Example
How can you include others in activities you enjoy?
How does leading a good example strengthen relationships? Who has been a good example in your life and
why?
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Experience and how you can promote T.A.B.L.E
Promoting T.A.B.L.E
In a way I have already started promoting TABLE at school with my roommates. Although we have opposite
schedules we have roommate dinner all together once every week so we are able to talk about what’s going on
in our lives. If we have any roommate problems we normally bring them up at this dinner calmly and they are
resolved quickly. I think incorporating roommate dinner has really helped us develop better communication
skills with each other and continues to make us closer as friends. They really have become my family because
we have such positive communication with each other and share our interests to learn about each other.
I can incorporate TABLE more into my time at school by sharing what I have learned from the summit with
many others that I incorporate at Grand Valley. Next year I have received a leadership position with campus
ministries on their Care Team. In this role I am to seek out new members and make them feel welcomed. I can
use TABLE to show new members compassion and openness with them, even when we are completely
different. Hopefully my communication and kindness sets an example for them that they are also able to share.
It won’t impact every student at Grand Valley, but if it impacts a few then it has made a positive difference.
I can use TABLE to improve the relationships in my family as well. I can be more confident in leading
conversations from the TABLE values. My family currently has good conversations but I promote TABLE to
continue to have positive conversations with them, so we continue to have strong bonds.
Taylor Summers, Lake-Sumter State College, Florida, USA
Family Traditions
Traditions are incredibly important to any family, they are something reliable, and comfortable to lean on.
Some of our most memorable traditions come in the form of Holidays, the things we do on Holidays, and how
we spend our time together. Often times our traditions are as simple as daily habits, in any case our family is
continually honoring, and creating new traditions.
Christmas and New Year are times full of tradition, and even more full of togetherness. On Christmas Eve we
go to my Grandmother’s house, we eat dinner with her, and her sister. Then, we go over to her house open up
presents and eat sweets, but before we open a single present, we read the story of Jesus’ birth. We do this to
remember that Jesus is the most important thing, and that he is more important than any gift we can receive.
We end the night with thanksgiving, and love. Then the following morning we give each other the gifts that
we have gotten for each other. We are always so excited to give the gifts, we can’t wait to see the other people
faces. Then we have a large meal with each other, and spend the rest of the day hanging out with each other.
On New Year’s Eve, we stay up till midnight talking about the year that has passed, and all the good times we
have had. Then when the New Year comes we rejoice and drink sparkling apple juice. We love being with
each other, and New Year’s gives us the opportunity to remember all the time that we have spent with each
other. Big traditions like these are fun, but often times the best traditions are the ones you do every day.
My family is very busy, we all have a lot of obligations, between work, school and simple tasks to be done,
and it’s very easy to lose time with each other. To remedy this, we try to have dinner with each other each
night. Even when we can’t eat dinner together, we try to spend the evening hours in community. We often play
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board games, listen to music, discuss books we are reading, and watch our favorite TV shows together.
Having the time to interact with each other makes us feel not so alone, and keeps us strong as a family. We
easily know whether any one of us is feeling bad because we spend so much quality time together. All this to
say, that family traditions are important not because the tradition matters, but because our family matters.
Traditions serve an important part in family, they give a sense of unity, of continuity, and stability. More than
this, traditions are often opportunities for families to spend time with each other. Whether traditions are big, or
small, whether they are daily or yearly, they are all important to the well-being of family. My family traditions
have brought me so much joy in my life, and as I have my own family I hope to create more traditions.
Discussion Questions
Talk-Togetherness
1. How does talking create togetherness in the home?
2. What makes us lose our togetherness?
3. Why is it so hard to talk openly with our family?
4. Why is talking with our family rewarding?
5. How can we improve our togetherness and our talking.
Accept-Affirmation
1. Why do we feel unaccepted in our lives?
2. How does family affirm us?
3. Do we give enough affirmation to our families?
4. What are some ways we can show acceptance to everyone in our families?
5. How do affirmation and acceptance connect, how do they link together?
Build-Blessing
1. What does it mean to build a family?
2.What are some ways that our family blesses us?
3. What are some ways we can bless our family?
4. How can we build a stronger family?
5. Is it a blessing to help build our families, why?
Listen-Love
1. Do you feel listened to in your family?
2. How can we be better listeners to our family?
3. Do we love our family enough to listen to them, even if we don’t agree with them?
4. What does the love of your family mean to you?
5. How can we better express our love to our family?
Enjoy-Example
1. Do you enjoy your family, why or why not?
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2. How can we be enjoyable to our family, give specifics?
3. What kind of example should we set as Christians, or as sons, fathers, mothers etc?
4. Are we following our family’s example, or are we being the example that our family follows?
5. Is the example we set rooted in the world, or in Jesus?
Applying TABLE to My Life
As I have learned about the TABLE principals, I have tried to find ways to apply
them to my life. It can often be hard to apply these principals because we live in a selfish and broken world. I
often find myself only looking out for my interests, and not caring about what other people feel. That’s why it
is so important to keep the TABLE principals fresh on my mind, and in my heart. If I am asking myself how I
can be a blessing, it is much harder to be selfish, and when I am looking to affirm my family it is much more
difficult to say mean things to them. I am not perfect, but I try my hardest to live out this life of righteousness
with my family, my school, and my job.
The best way I can be a blessing to my family is to take responsibilities off their back. I often drive my
siblings to work, and to sports practice, so that my parents don’t have to. When my Mom is tired after a hard
days work, I will often make dinner, and clean up afterward for her. One of the things we all do is that we
have specific chores that we do everyday, and every week. This helps keep the house clean, and makes sure
that no one person does all the work. In my family we also make sure to spend time talking and affirming each
other each day. We try to eat dinner together every night, but even when we can’t we try to spend several
hours together each night playing games, listening to music, or watching our favorite TV shows together. This
time together is really important because when we spend time with each other not only are we happier, but we
grow stronger together as a family. When we do fight, or something happens that keeps us apart, we are strong
enough to come back together because of how much we bless and affirm each other.
When I am in school it often feels as though there is nothing I can do to create a better community. It is easy
to think that TABLE only applies to family, but in fact it can apply to every person. When I am at school and
we are put into groups, I try my best to be kind to everyone in my group, even though I may not like everyone.
School is the best place to live out the talking and listening portion of TABLE. I find it very easy to not talk to
anyone in school, because we don’t have much in common, and we are only in this class for a short time.
However, Jesus wants me to love everyone, and part of that love is to talk and listen to people. When I think
of the people around me as children of God, who are loved by Jesus, I feel compelled to love them as he does.
So when in class I do whatever I can to show the love of Christ. I share my notes, I have a good attitude, I
compliment people and actively seek conversation.
I can also feel that work is not a place for TABLE, because I am here to do a job, and nothing else, but this
simply isn’t true. God has place the people around me for a reason, I spend hours and hours with people
everyday, why can’t I use this as a way to share the love of Christ? When I work I can remember that I am
working for the Lord, and not for man, so I can have a good attitude about whatever I am doing. I can also
look for ways to bless my co-workers. If they are lifting something heavy, I can help them with it, if they look
like they are tired I can ask if they are OK, and offer to help them. If anything working is the best place to
apply TABLE because it is the place where people are the least happy, and need the most help. When I am
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working I can be an example of what a good worker is, and I can be a blessing to whomever I meet.
While it is true that living the TABLE principals is not easy, I can say safely that it is worth it. Living in
community and fellowship with my family is what table is designed for, but it doesn’t just stop there. As I
spend time with the people around me I can be not only a good example, but I can be a blessing to those
around me. Whether I am at work, or at school, God has put these people around me, and I intend to reach out
to them as much as I can. TABLE is not just a way to live with my family, it is a way to live my whole life.
Jeanette Chang ,
Northwestern College, Iowa, USA
1) Family Tradition
When I hear the phrase "family tradition," it reminds me of how my cousins and I will always have to go
through the nervousness of preparing and practicing for family performances. The actual performance is in
front of all of my relatives over Lunar New Year. It was already a family tradition from long ago on my mom's
side of family but it wasn't a yearly tradition until my generation. I'm really happy that as a kid I was able to
learn the importance of "you reap what you sow." Typically the Taiwanese family will not require their kids to
do anything but just getting "red envelops" easily, but I think the way I was brought up had taught something I
didn't realize before, which is if you work hard enough, you will be rewarded in the end.
At first, because of how shy I was I hated the idea of having to perform in front of everyone in order to get the
red envelops; but now as I grow up I realize it's not always easy to earn money like that, my parents, my aunts
and uncles and my grandpa and grandmas have already tried their hardest to take care of us by working, but
they also have to give out some money during Lunar New Year for us youngsters. I thank God for giving me
the loving family who has taught me this valuable lesson. Through the tradition of performing over Lunar
New Year before receiving red envelops, I continue to be reminded of the value of effort.
Another family tradition is that my family goes out to eat when there’s something to celebrate about or
something we need to give thanks to God. For example, when I do well in school, we would go out to eat; and
these have taught me to be grateful in all circumstances.
Still another family tradition is we will keep the Sunday for family and go to church in the morning, to be
closer to Him and listen to His words for wisdom in every aspect of life. We have also started to read an
article from Our Daily Bread to be more focused on Him as we read it together along with a discussion
afterwards on what we think of the article and how is God talking to us in a way. It affects me in a spiritual
way because I have known how to connect what I’ve learned in the Bible with the life I’m living now.
2) Family Ritual
To most Taiwanese families or even Asian families in general, my family is probably "odd" consider being so
"closely tied" with each other. Ever since I was little, after we pray we will always hug each other tightly and
squeeze our arms around each other at the end of the prayer.
Another ritual within my family takes place when Skyping each other. Before we say, “Goodnight at night, or
goodbye” to each other (due to the fact that I'm studying abroad), we will always say "I yena yena," which is
another way of saying "I love you" like a baby still learning how to say words.
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My family also loves to give each other's nicknames. We don't intentionally want to hurt each other's feelings
but it is just one of our ways to express our love for each other. I’ve noticed that this is a really quick way of
bonding as a family, and my family and I have always loved it.
It has become a habit that my family will take turns to pray before each meal or before we go to bed, so
everyone has a chance to praise Him and leave the worries up to Him. I’ve realized that this is a good way of
helping me release the stress and through this I can have a good sleep afterwards.
There are more and more senior citizens living by themselves, this also includes my Grandma. Therefore my
family and I would call her every two days and visit her as much as possible. On the other hand, since I’ve
been studying abroad for 4 years now, I have set a time for Skyping and talking with my parents once a week,
to keep the family ritual and so they will know how I’m doing with school and life. These rituals show how
talking and the act of love can be shown in a variety of ways in my family.
Our family may seem a little bit "different," but I do believe through what we do on a routine basis, we are
tighter as a family and that have improved our relationship greatly.
3) Discussion Questions
T.A.B.L.E Questions
T- Talk for Togetherness
- 1. What do you usually talk about at the dinner table with your family?
- 2. Are you usually the listener or the talker at the table?
- 3. Are you the person who just wants to “get the message to the other person ASAP,” or you think it’s
important to let him/her understand what you’re trying to say in order to have a good conversation and keep it
going?
- 4. Do you think the dynamic in the family will change if every single person is being understood?
- Personal experience: For my family, we usually share with each other how our day was, sort of like
“Happy Crappy” time, we share our happiness with each other and also the frustrations as well; and from there,
we also can talk about just about anything, to discuss and to listen.
A- Accept for Affirmation
1.What do you do to show your parents or other members of the family that you appreciate them for who they
are or what they do?
2.How do you deal with conflicts when you encounter one?
3.Do you usually choose to forgive or just keep being angry with the person who offended you?
4. What’s the importance to forgive someone when they offend you? Is it easy?
Personal experience (How I forgave others from the previous experiences): There are times when I don’t get
along well with people, or sometimes people offend me. When that happens, I usually just talk it out with
some close friends or family, so I can release the anger in my heart. Afterwards, I will tell myself it does no
good to me if I just keep having resentful thoughts on the person who offended me, therefore I just let it go or
talk to the person and ask them not to do the same thing again so they won’t offend more people.
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B- Build for Blessings
1. Is it true to you that after talking to a family member of yours, you feel rather happy and satisfied?
2. How do you encourage others in your family? Through words or gifts?
3. Do you think encouragements will change the atmosphere in the family or in general?
4. What are some benefits of encouraging others to you and to others?
Personal experience: Sometimes I write notes to tell them they’re doing a great job or give them a hug to show
them they’re loved and just keep their heads up.
L- Listen for Love
1. Why is paying attention to what other people are saying (listening) another way of showing love?
2. What does it take to become a good listener?
3. Do you spend more time listening or talking when the opportunity is given?’
4. How do you respond to others after listening to what they have to say?
Personal experience: I’ve become sensitive to family member’s need to talk as I’m growing older and older;
when I notice someone doesn’t appear to be happy in the family, I’ll ask and listen to what they have on their
minds. By preparing myself of becoming a good listener, I just put all of my attention on them and then
respond later on.
E- Enjoy for Example
1.What is it like when all of your family members get together for a special occasion?
2.What do you and your family do to enjoy each other’s accompany? 3.Do you get along well with all of your
relatives?
4.How do you enjoy each other’s accompany when you don’t necessarily know all of your relatives? (Because
they may be your distant relatives) What do you do to make the best of it?
Personal experience: I’ve never invited an under-privileged family over to my house for a meal and such, but I
think the idea is pretty neat and great. It shows that there are still some people cares about them that they are
loved despite their social status, and it gives them a place to go as home.
4) How to promote T.A.B.L.E
The T.A.B.L.E acronyms have multiple meanings behind them. TALK is the key on how we as a family be
drawn TOGETHER; when we talk we then know how we can ACCEPT and AFFIRM each other through
words. Through the words we affirm each other we can BUILD up BLESSINGS within the household. But
without LISTENING, it's hard to feel loved. Therefore how we can combine all these elements will help us
ENJOY more of each other's accompany by our side.
I believe the closeness of intimacy I have with my parents existed ever since I was little. I think my family and
I have already promoted the concept of T.A.B.L.E by living in it.
For example, I would engage meaningful discussions such as “what can I do as a criminal justice major to
help the world”, or ask my parents for their stories back in the days to make them feel loved and cared for.
When I'm with my friends, I would always ask them how they are doing and then keep up with the
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conversation by follow up with the topic we were discussing before in order to show my care for them.
It was a little bit hard to find time to have a heart to heart conversation or just a 10 minute talk with my
roommate during my first year of college. Because of this, I would always manage to have a "dinner or lunch
date" with my roommate so we can still be updated on each other’s life even when we have really different
schedules.
I have definitely learned how to have better relationships through practicing the concept of T.A.B.L.E and I
will continue doing and improving what I've been doing. Through this, I truly hope there will be more happy
families in the world.
Daniel Wester ,
South O'Brien High School , Iowa, USA
Family Traditions
Our biggest and most prevalent family tradition is praying before each meal. We always have someone at the
table or where we are eating pray and bless the food before we eat. This shows that we are blessed by God to
have food on our tables and we get to praise him for it.
We usually try and eat a meal together, but once school starts, people get really busy and have different
schedules so it is hard to find time to sit down and eat together. The meal we always eat together during the
week is Sunday lunch. We either go out to eat or come home after church and eat together and talk about what
we learned at church or what has happened in our lives the past week. It is tradition that one of my parents
cooks while the kids set the table. Another big tradition we have is spending Holidays with each other and
doing the same routine each year. At Christmas time us kids exchange gifts to each other. We decide who gets
to give a gift to whom by drawing a name out of a hat. We have been doing this tradition since as long as I can
remember. This tradition allows us kids to show kindness to each other and show our generosity to each other.
Lately, because of our family being so spread out around the country and internationally, we have been using
group texts to send pictures and messages to one another. We have been doing this a lot lately, and it helps
keep us all connected. It has really helped us know what to pray about for each other and the joyful moments
we are experiencing. I am guessing this will continue to happen because we are still separated by many miles.
Discussion Questions on TABLE
Talk for Togetherness
mily members about problems so important?
Accept for Affirmation
w do you encourage someone who doesn’t want you to talk to them?
Building for Blessing:
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Listen for Love
Enjoy for Example
How to Promote TABLE
TABLE shouldn’t be something that we just go overseas to talk about. We should be promoting that lifestyle
here in our lives as well. Talking for togetherness is very important. Yes, I’m always talking but sometimes it
is not for the best. We should be talking with each other to bring ourselves together, not spreading hate around
with our words. Instead of putting others down, we need to talk to them to bring us together and not push them
away. This goes hand in hand with listening for love. If someone is talking to you, you should be listening
with intent to know what is wrong and what they want you to hear. If someone just needs to talk to someone,
just say yes and listen because you can make a difference in their lives. Maybe by listening to what they have
to say, you can impact their life and show them God’s love. Building for blessing is also very important. We
need to be encouraging one another to builds God’s kingdom. If someone sees you never encouraging others
and always putting others down, they won’t want see what God’s love is and that could push them away from
Him. God wants us to be happy and that is why we need to enjoy others. If you’re always angry or sad, people
aren’t going to want to spend time with you, and if people don’t spend time with you, you can’t spread God’s
word to them. We need to enjoy people’s presence and be able to have a good time and make friendships with
others. Lastly, accepting for affirmation is important to build and keep friendships. In order to be a good friend,
you need to be able to apologize and accept forgiveness towards others who may have wronged you. It is
important to forgive others because you wouldn’t want something to get between you and a friend that
wouldn’t honor God. Forgiving doesn’t make what they did okay, but it does show that you still love them as a
friend and are willing to forgive them. These TABLE attributes should be talked about and put into effect
everywhere and in everyone’s’ lives.
Personal Experiences
T – My family and I talk about a lot of things over the dinner table, especially politics. We are always sharing
our thoughts and ideas with each other, even when we disagree. Talking and debating are not rare at our table
because we know the importance of talking things out and sharing our ideas.
A – I have been on both sides of forgiveness. I have asked for forgiveness many times and have also received
it. One example of me receiving forgiveness was when my brother and I were fighting one day. We both
stormed off because we were mad at each other. He came to me and asked for forgiveness from me. This
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impacted me a lot because I didn’t think I really deserved forgiveness because of some of the things I said but
he was able to approach me on his own and ask for forgiveness which was a great example to me.
B – My family is really big into soccer, especially me. One day when my sister (also teammate) was trying to
learn how to chest the ball, she got really frustrated because she couldn’t get herself to do it. That is when I
came alongside her and showed her how to do it and be confident in doing so because I knew she could do it.
L – During freshman year, I had received word that my friend had committed suicide. He was one of my best
friends and I we were really close. My mom showed great sensitivity to me and was able to listen with love of
my feelings and what I was thinking during that rough time for me. She was a great example to me on how to
show love through listening to someone.
E – We have a family that lives near us who are under-privileged. They are one of the few Hispanic families
around us so they sometimes have problems fitting in. We invited them over because my mom and brother
speak Spanish and we had a meal together and talked. It was a great example to me because we really didn’t
know them, but my parents were still willing to serve them food and talk to them.
Julianna Kempema, Northwestern College, Iowa, USA
Family Traditions/Values
My family tries to have family dinners together every night, so we can talk with each
other about our days, and share any thing with each other. It is great to share a meal
together and have conversations.
On Holidays, such as Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter, we get together with our
extended family (Aunts, Uncles, cousins, grandparents) for a meal and we play some games. It is a great time
to catch up and spend time with family who we do not get to see all the time.
Each year, we try to take a week-long vacation or trip to spend some quality-family time together. It is a great
time for us to bond. We usually try to go to new places, or find a new activity. It opens up new experiences for
all of us, and is a very enjoyable time for all of us. These trips are great because we learn more about each
other and grow more as a family.
TABLE Discussion Questions
T-Talk about Togetherness: How does talking help strengthen our relationships with others? What is the
importance of opening up or talking with others?
A-Accept for Affirmation: How can you encourage others through your words? Why is acceptance important?
B-Build for Blessing: What does blessing mean to you? How can we bless others?
L-Listen for Love: How does listening to others or having others listen to us, help strengthen our relationship
with that person? Why is it important to listen to others?
E-Enjoy for Example: How can we live as an example?
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