English I Stations
Week 7 – 8
1st nine weeks
Connotation/Denotation
VOCABULARY DEVELOPMENT
Station Vocabulary
• concise - Marked by brevity of expression or statement; free
from all elaboration and superfluous detail
• connotation - The emotions or set of associations attached to
a word that is implied rather than literal
The connotation of a snake is a treacherous or deceitful
person.
• denotation - The literal, dictionary definition of a word
Denotation and Connotation
Source: http://projectsharetexas.org/resource/denotation-and-connotation-english-1reading?external_1=1059&external_2=2232&external_3=All, accessed 9/19/15.
Names
• How did your parents choose
your name?
• What does your name say
about you?
• This lesson is about how words
can have direct and emotional
connections to every reader.
Words and their meanings are
important because you need to
be able to clearly communicate
your ideas and feelings in the
most concise way.
• Think of the process that
parents go through when
naming their children. Some
parents use names they have
loved forever; others go to
bookstores and research
hundreds of baby names. Some
parents may have an emotional
connection to a name because
it belongs to a respected
person in the family or
someone who inspired them.
Denotation
• The simple dictionary definition of a word is its denotation.
This is the literal, unambiguous meaning of a word. A
denotation of snake is “a limbless, slithering reptile without
eyelids, sometimes poisonous.” It’s easy to remember what a
denotative meaning is, because “denotation” and “dictionary”
both begin with the letter “d.”
Connotation
• Other words that authors use have indirect, personal
meanings. These words can affect readers in different ways.
The term for this kind of meaning is connotation. An example
of connotative meaning is the word “blue” (i.e., “I’m feeling
blue”). It’s easy to remember what the connotative meaning
of a word is because “connotation” and “connection“ both
begin with the letter “c.”
Denotation and Connotation
• Denotation = Dictionary (dictionary
definition of a word)
• Connotation = Connection
(emotional associations attached to
a word)
• Here’s another way to understand
denotation and connotation using
the word “snake.”
• Snake, denotative use: Be careful
hiking during the day;snakes may be
out looking for water.
• Snake, connotative use: Ralph
Fiennes’ character in the new movie
is a total sellout, a cowardly snake.
Source: Burmese Python 4, Tambako the Jaguar,
Flickr
Think Pair Share
• What do I already know about connotation and denotation?
• How can knowing a word’s connotative meaning help when
reading a short story?
Your favorite Uncle
• If your favorite uncle gives you $25
every time he sees you, you are
probably going to think favorably of
him. You likely won’t describe him as
“fat” to your friends, but you might
say that he’s “tubby,” or if he’s a
serious kind of guy, you might say
he's “portly.”
• Knowing the difference between
“fat,” “tubby,” and “portly” when you
describe your uncle is important to
your financial well being!
Source: http://imgarcade.com/1/portly-man-insuit/
Connotation/Denotation and
Author’s Purpose
• When you’re reading, it’s important to be able to distinguish
words according to their emotional or cultural meaning. Your
ability to do so can help you understand the author’s purpose
or more about a character in a story. For example the words
that a character uses can tell you their level of education,
where they’re from, and their class.
• Connotation and denotation are a part of language and
communication. Knowing the difference between these two
words can help you understand the purpose of a passage
you’re reading.
• Remember, artists have paint; writers have words!
What’s in a Name?
• Using your phone, go to the following websitehttp://www.mybabyname.com/ and type in your name.
• Then on your own sheet of paper, complete the following
sections.
Resources Used in This
Lesson: Bibliography
• Sams, Ferrol. Run with the Horsemen. New York: Penguin
Books, 1984.
•
READING/ ANALYZING TEXTS
Station Vocabulary
• theme - The central or universal idea of a piece of fiction or the
main idea of a nonfiction essay
• A universal theme transcends social and cultural boundaries and
speaks to a common human experience.
• A theme may be explicit or implicit. In a work with an explicit
theme, the author overtly states the theme somewhere within the
work.
• Implicit theme refers to the author’s ability to construct a piece in
such a way that through inference the reader understands the
theme.
• inference - A logical guess made by connecting bits of information
A subtle inference is one in which the bits of information are not as
easily connected.
Station Vocabulary
• conclusion - A final summation
• evidence - Something that furnishes proof
• summation - A final part of an argument reviewing points
made and expressing conclusions
• genre - The type or class of a work, usually categorized by
form, technique, or content
Examples of literary genres include epics, tragedies, comedies,
poems, novels, short stories, and works of creative nonfiction.
• critical - Exercising or involving careful judgment or judicious
evaluation
Texts and Themes
• You will often run across themes in your reading. Themes are
underlying messages about life and human nature; they are
big ideas an author wants to pass on to you. What is tricky
about themes is that sometimes they don’t stand out but only
emerge after careful analysis. Understanding the theme of a
text is an “aha” moment that gives you deeper insight into
what an author is trying to say.
Analyzing Texts
• Themes can be explicit, meaning that the theme is out in the
open and obvious. Authors of pieces with explicit themes
don’t hold back. They want to make sure that you figure out
their stories.
• Themes can also be implicit. An implicit theme asks you as the
reader to draw inferences about what the author is trying to
say. Once you have made several inferences, you are better
able to draw a conclusionabout what the theme is. Remember
that yoursummation, or conclusion, must be based
on evidence.
Analyzing Texts
• In this lesson, you will make inferences and draw conclusions
about similar themes across various genres by finding
supporting evidence within each of the texts. This task will
require you to use your analytical reading skills, and it will help
you become a more critical reader and better understand
what you read.
Theme and Genres
• Source: Adversity Is Not Without Bacon
Jambalaya, Edith Mahier, Wikimedia
• As mentioned, you will read texts that
represent different genres: short stories,
novels, poetry, and nonfiction text. Every
text will have the theme “hope gives us the
courage to overcome adversity.”
• Keep in mind that a theme is more than a
one-word topic like “love” or a cliché such
as “love is blind.” A theme expresses a
clear and complete idea. Here are some
helpful strategies to find the theme of a
text:
•
•
•
•
Follow the narrator and the main characters. Is there
anything they are supposed to learn about life or
themselves? (This is usually an important theme.)
Keep an eye out for repeating ideas.
What mistakes or difficult decisions have characters
made? Have they learned from those mistakes or
decisions?
What is the conflict? (In analyzing the conflict, you
will often discover a theme the author wants you to
think about as you read.)
• Again, you won’t have to discover themes
on your own. Each text in this lesson has
the same theme: “Hope gives us the
courage to overcome adversity.”
Making Inferences
• To draw conclusions, you have to use information that is
implied or inferred. This means that the information is not
clearly or explicitly stated. If you infer that something has
happened, you do not directly see, hear, feel, or experience it.
Instead, you decide what has happened based on what you
know and the evidence that you have.
• You may not know it, but you make inferences every day,
usually without even thinking about it. Here is an example:
• You are standing on a street corner. You see a car speed
around a corner. Soon, because of the houses and a vinecovered fence, you cannot see the car any longer. Next, you
hear screeching tires followed by a loud crash and the sound
of cans or barrels rolling around. You cannot see anything, but
based on the evidence you have, you can infer that the car
you saw speeding has hit something.
Making Inferences
• We are all familiar with the
sounds of sudden skidding and
crash noises. We also know that
these sounds almost always
mean that there has been an
accident. However, you have only
inferred that an accident
happened; there could be some
other source for the sounds you
heard. Maybe the car sped off
and something else caused
crashing sounds and screeching
tires. All you have to go on is
what you saw and what you think
happened after that. Making
inferences means choosing the
most likely explanation based on
the facts at hand.
• Take a look at this picture:
Source: Ingonish inference, gak,
Flickr
Making Inferences
• What inferences can you make by looking at this picture? Read through
the following statements and answer the questions that follow on your
own paper.
• 1. You walk into a store and you see the “Ashes of Problem Customers”
sign. What can you infer from the sign?
• A. The store also operates as a crematorium.
• B. The owners have a quirky sense of humor, and they like to make
jokes.
• C. There is a trap door below you that leads to an incinerator.
• D. There are wizards and witches working at this store.
• 2. What can you infer about the people that put the “Ashes of Problem
Customers” sign on the counter?
• A. If you make them angry, you will be asked to come back the next day.
• B. They are criminally insane.
• C. The owners’ quirky sense of humor shines through again.
• D. They do not want you as a customer.
Making Inferences
• To understand the warning pictured in the photo, you made
some inferences. Sometimes writers will require you to do the
same thing as you are reading. They do this by providing hints
or clues that help you read between the lines.
• Once you can decipher what an author is trying to say, you can
use these clues to gain a deeper understanding of what you
are reading. When you infer, you go beyond the readily
available surface details to get at meanings that the details
suggest or imply.
• When we say that meanings are implied, we mean that you
may infer them. It is important that you understand that an
inference is not a guess; inferring is coming to an
understanding based on evidence from the text.
Drawing Conclusions
• What does it mean to “draw a conclusion”? Conclusions are
statements about what we don’t know based on what we do
know. This is where inferences play a role. You already know
inferences follow from the information that’s available to you.
Think about the situation involving the car accident from the
previous section. Here is your evidence:
• You saw a car speed around a corner; you heard screeching
tires followed by a loud crash; you heard the sound of cans or
barrels rolling around on a hard surface. You can infer that the
car you saw crashed into something and made all that noise.
You can conclude that the car you saw speeding around the
corner caused an accident based on the evidence that’s
available to you. Did you get that?
Drawing Conclusions
• You might be aware of how often you draw conclusions in
daily life, but you may not realize how often you do it when
you read. For example, an author does not always state the
point or main idea of a paragraph in a topic sentence.
• Sometimes an author implies, or suggests, a main idea
through a sequence of statements that accumulate to suggest
the main idea or theme. The author leaves it up to you, the
reader, to make inferences and draw conclusions based on the
content and language.
Drawing Conclusions
• Let’s look at an example in an excerpt from Eugenia Collier’s
short story “Marigolds.” The story takes place in a rural
African-American community in the 1930s, a period also
known as the Great Depression.
• This decade was marked by racial segregation, devastating
poverty, and high rates of unemployment. Poverty plays a big
part in the theme of this excerpt. As you read, think about
how poverty affects the characters and how it relates to the
overall theme “hope gives us the courage to overcome
adversity.”
Drawing Conclusions: “Marigolds”
But our real fun and our real fear lay in Miss Lottie herself. Miss Lottie seemed to be
at least a hundred years old. Her big frame still held traces of the tall, powerful
woman she must have been in youth, although it was now bent and drawn. Her
smooth skin was a dark reddish brown, and her face had Indian-like features and the
stern stoicism that one associates with Indian faces. Miss Lottie didn’t like intruders
either, especially children. She never left her yard, and nobody ever visited her. We
never knew how she managed those necessities which depend on human
interaction—how she ate, for example, or even whether she ate. When we were tiny
children, we thought Miss Lottie was a witch and we made up tales that we half
believed ourselves about her exploits. We were far too sophisticated now, of course,
to believe the witch nonsense. But old fears have a way of clinging like cobwebs, and
so when we sighted the tumbledown shack, we had to stop to reinforce our nerves.
• Miss Lottie’s marigolds were perhaps the strangest part of the picture. Certainly they did not fit in
with the crumbling decay of the rest of her yard. Beyond the dusty brown yard, in front of the
sorry gray house, rose suddenly and shockingly a dazzling strip of bright blossoms, clumped
together in enormous mounds, warm and passionate and sun-golden. The old black witch-woman
worked on them all summer, every summer, down on her creaky knees, weeding and cultivating
and arranging, while the house crumbled and John Burke rocked. For some perverse reason, we
children hated those marigolds. They interfered with the perfect ugliness of the place; they were
too beautiful; they said too much that we could not understand; they did not make sense. There
was something in the vigor with which the old woman destroyed the weeds that intimidated us. It
should have been a comical sight—the old woman with the man’s hat on her cropped white head,
leaning over the bright mounds, her big backside in the air—but it wasn’t comical, it was
something we could not name.
Drawing Conclusions
• What conclusions can you draw from this paragraph about Miss
Lottie? What can you infer about Miss Lottie based on the evidence
the writer provides?
• We know the following:
•
•
•
•
Miss Lottie is “at least a hundred years old.”
Her once big, powerful frame is “now bent and drawn.”
“Her smooth skin was a dark reddish brown.”
Additionally, we know that Miss Lottie does not like intruders and
scares children. What else? We also know that she lives in a
“tumbledown shack” and has no visible means of support, yet she
works vigorously to keep the weeds out of her garden of brightblossomed marigolds.
• What can we infer from that information? We can infer that she is
poor. We don’t know that for certain, but based on the evidence, we
can conclude that physical hardships associated with poverty have
transformed Miss Lottie into a mean old woman who dislikes
intruders, especially children. Do you see what we did? We drew
conclusions based on inferences.
Drawing Conclusions
• Here’s another example from a different genre. This excerpt
comes from a memoir by Rick Bragg titled All Over but the
Shoutin’. It’s a true story about how Bragg grew up poor in
Alabama in the 1960s but was able to carve out a life for
himself based on the strength of his mother’s encouragement.
This excerpt shows the sacrifices that his mother made for the
family and how those sacrifices are central to the overall
theme “hope gives us the courage to overcome adversity.”
Drawing Conclusions
• (My mother) did what she could to support us with her own work, her
own sweat, but sometimes it was just too hard. I know it killed her deep
inside to go begging, but it would have destroyed her to watch her three
sons do without. She stood in line at the welfare office, stood in line for
government cheese. She fawned over the church people, year after
year, who showed up at Christmas with a turkey or a ham. I saw her
follow them back to their big cars, thanking them, a hundred times, and
walk back to the house pale and tightlipped.
• I did not know then, like I know now, that my momma never ate until we
were done, or maybe I did know but was too young to understand why. I
did not know then that she picked all the meat out of the soup and stew
and put it on our plates. I did not hear her scraping pots, pans and
skillets to make her own plate, after her three little pigs ate most of
what we had. But I can still see her sliding the bones off plates and
gnawing them clean, after we were done, saying how she liked that
meat close to the bone, that we just didn’t know what we were missing.
It is not that we were starving, just that the quality of life for her
children inched up a little if she did without.
Drawing Conclusions
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
Think about the first paragraph of this excerpt.
When you’re ready, make your own inferences
and draw your conclusions about them by
responding to the following questions on your
own paper:
1. What can you infer about Bragg’s mother
based on evidence from the text?
A. She did without so that her children could
eat.
B. She hid food from her children.
C. She tried to trick them into eating food they
did not like.
D. She hoarded food.
2. What can you conclude about Bragg‘s
Mother based on inferences you made while
reading?
A. She had too much pride to accept charity.
B. She made sure that no matter what she had
to go through, her children had enough to eat.
C. She was so overcome by adversity that she
had given up even trying anymore.
D. She was so angry about her situation that
she could not focus on her family.
•
•
•
•
•
3. Which of the following phrases from the
text supports the main theme “hope gives us
the courage to overcome adversity”?
A. “I did not know then, like I know now, that
my momma never ate until we were done.”
B. “[My mother] did what she could to
support us with her own work, . . . but
sometimes it was just too hard.”
C. “She fawned over the church people, year
after year, who showed up at Christmas with a
turkey or a ham.”
D. “It is not that we were starving, just that
the quality of life for her children inched up a
little if she did without.”
Drawing Conclusions
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
Read the following excerpt from a newspaper article and keep an eye out for the theme “hope gives us the
courage to overcome adversity.” The article is an example of the nonfiction genre and is about Michael Hancock,
who overcame serious adversity to become the mayor of a big city.
Message of Survival Won Denver Race for Mayor
by Kirk Johnson
Source: Mayor Hancock, Matthew Staver, New York Times Knowledge Network
DENVER — Lots of politicians, when stumped on the stump, resort to talking about their own lives and the results
are often about as exciting as your average greeting card.
Michael B. Hancock never had that problem.
In running for mayor of Denver, a position he won overwhelmingly on Tuesday, Mr. Hancock told a family story so
powerful, almost Dickensian in its poverty and hope — he and his twin sister were the youngest of 10 children
raised by a single mother in Denver, part of that time in public housing — that the theme of adversity overcome
became the heart of the campaign.
Mr. Hancock, when inaugurated next month, will become Denver’s second black mayor. The first was Wellington E.
Webb, elected in 1991. Mr. Webb’s pioneering role — and perhaps the altered political landscape since President
Obama’s election in 2008 — meant that race never came up as an issue in the campaign, Mr. Hancock said.
Mr. Hancock told voters about much harder parts of the world. His brother, Robert, died of AIDS in 1996. A sister,
Karen, was killed in a murder-suicide in 2002.
The family hit bottom, Mr. Hancock said, when he was about six or seven, shortly after his parents’ divorce. They
became homeless, living in a motel and, as he put it in the interview, “trying to figure out what was next.”
But always the Hancock story came down to how adversity was overcome. In one church appearance during the
campaign, for example, he talked about the sixth grade teacher who changed his life. He had been misbehaving in
class, and Mr. Hancock described the day she took him aside and said that instead of punishing him, she would
make him a student leader.
Then he introduced the teacher herself — a member of that very church.
Mr. Hancock said that tough budget issues — Denver faces a nearly $100 million projected deficit in 2012 — would
probably dominate his agenda.
But he said that optimism, inspired by his mother, who supported the family as a hospital medical technician,
would be crucial.
“I think that played itself out during this campaign,” he said. “No matter how difficult and challenging it got, I
continued to believe that everything was going to work out for the good. I think that’s directly related to my
upbringing.”
Drawing Conclusions
• Let’s analyze this excerpt beginning with the title. It tells us that we are
going to read an article about a survivor. We already know what the
overall theme is, so our task is to understand how the story supports the
theme “hope gives us the courage to overcome adversity.”
• First, the opening lines tell us that the subject, Michael B. Hancock, a
politician, has an interesting life story. In the next few lines, we learn
that he is the “youngest of 10 children raised by a single mother in
Denver” and spent “part of that time in public housing.” The next line is
what we need to help us figure out how the article relates to the theme.
The author gives it to us explicitly: “the theme of adversity overcome
became the heart of the campaign.” Overcoming adversity and Mr.
Hancock’s determination to succeed against overwhelming odds are the
main themes of the article, and it is this line that connects the text to
the overall theme in this lesson.
• Knowing the theme helps us to better grasp the role that hope and
courage played in Mr. Hancock’s life, and we can better understand how
he was able to reach such a prominent place in Denver government. The
entire article is clearer and more meaningful because we know the
theme, and it is supported by the text.
Drawing Conclusions
• So far, in this section, you have
made inferences and drawn
conclusions about a theme in a
nonfiction newspaper article. You
have seen how the text supports
the theme “hope gives us the
courage to overcome adversity.”
Now read a text from another
genre, poetry. As you read the
poem, find evidence that you can
use to make inferences and draw
conclusions to support the theme
“hope gives us the courage to
overcome adversity.”
• Hope” is the thing with feathers
• “Hope” is the thing with feathers
–
That perches in the soul –
And sings the tune without the
words –
And never stops – at all –
• And sweetest – in the Gale – is
heard –
And sore must be the storm –
That could abash the little Bird
That kept so many warm –
• I’ve heard it in the chillest land –
And on the strangest Sea –
Yet – never – in Extremity,
It asked a crumb – of me.
• —Emily Dickinson
Short Answers
• Consider each of the texts in
this lesson: “Marigolds,” All
Over but the Shoutin’,
“Message of Survival Won
Denver Race for Mayor,” and
“‘Hope’ is the thing with
feathers.”
• Use your notes to respond to
the questions that follow.
Use the STAAR short answer
form to record your
responses. You may want to
plan your response first, write
a rough draft, and then write
your final response.
•
1. Each of these selections
supports the theme “hope
gives us the courage to
overcome adversity.” Choose
two of the passages, and
write a short answer showing
the evidence that supports
the theme.
• 2. How does knowing the
theme help you understand
each text? Choose two
different passages from the
first question and form your
response using text evidence.
Resources Used in This
Lesson: Bibliography
• Bragg, Rick. All over but the Shoutin’. New York: Vintage, 1997.
• Collier, Eugenia. “Marigolds.” Nexus: Holt Elements of Literature
Third Course.
http://www.nexuslearning.net/books/holt_elementsoflit3/Collection%204/marigolds%20p1.htm.
• Dickinson, Emily. “‘Hope’ is the thing with feathers.” Poetry
Foundation.
http://www.poetryfoundation.org/poem/171619.
• Johnson, Kirk. “Message of Survival Won Denver Race for
Mayor.” New York Times, June 09, 2011.
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/06/09/us/09denver.html?_r=1.
•
WRITING
Station Vocabulary
• expository essay - A type of informational essay that clarifies or
explains something
• persuasive essay - An essay written with the intent to persuade or
convince the reader of something
• short story - An invented prose narrative shorter than a novel
usually dealing with a few characters, aiming at unity of effect, and
often concentrating on the creation of mood rather than plot
• purpose - The intended goal of a piece of writing; the reason a
person writes
• audience - The intended target group for a message, regardless of
the medium
• brainstorming - A technique in which many ideas are generated
quickly and without judgment or evaluation in order to solve a
problem, clarify a concept, or inspire creative thinking.
Brainstorming may be done in a classroom, small group, or
individually.
Writing
• Think about the types of writing
you come across on a daily basis.
In most of your classes, you use a
textbook written by one or many
writers. The content on the
Internet and the newspapers and
magazines you read are also
composed by writers. Even the
television shows and movies you
watch are in large part based on
writing found in scripts and
screenplays.
• This lesson will focus on the
writing you do this year in high
school. Whether you
write expository and
persuasive essays or short
stories, your first steps are to
determine your purpose and
define your audience.
• After that, you will begin to
generate ideas and questions.
This lesson will guide you
through the early steps of writing
a short story and an expository
essay.
Source: Write hard, die free, yksin, flickr
Writing the Short Story
• To write a short story, you need to develop a topic, either one
you choose or one your teacher assigns. After you have a
topic, you need to determine the audience and purpose for
writing a short story.
• First, you need to ask “What is my purpose?” or “Why do I
want to tell this story?” The purpose of a short story can be to
entertain and/or to make your reader think or feel something.
The purpose is what you want your writing to do when
someone reads it.
Writing the Short Story
• Take a look at this excerpt from “On the Gull’s Road” by Willa Cather:
• It often happens that one or another of my friends stops before a
red chalk drawing in my study and asks me where I ever found so
lovely a creature. I have never told the story of that picture to any
one, and the beautiful woman on the wall, until yesterday, in all
these twenty years has spoken to no one but me. Yesterday a young
painter, a countryman of mine, came to consult me on a matter of
business, and upon seeing my drawing of Alexandra Ebbling,
straightway forgot his errand. He examined the date upon the sketch
and asked me, very earnestly, if I could tell him whether the lady
were still living. When I answered him, he stepped back from the
picture and said slowly:
• “So long ago? She must have been very young. She was happy?”
• “As to that, who can say–about any one of us?” I replied. “Out of all
that is supposed to make for happiness, she had very little.”
Source: “Waterhouse: Study for
portrait of the Marchioness
of Downshire,”deflam, flickr
Writing the Short Story
• In this excerpt, what do you think Cather’s purpose is? If you reread
the opening paragraphs, you will see that
• she uses the red chalk drawing as an introductory subject to “set up”
her story; and
• she “hooks” us by explaining that she had “never told the story of
that picture to anyone.” Not only does she want to entertain us, she
wants to inform the young painter and us, the readers, about
something that is mysterious; she wants us to think.
• Sometimes a piece of writing is meant only for the writer’s eyes, as
is the case with a diary or personal journal, but in Cather’s story, the
audience is public. We are intended to be the readers or audience.
• When you write a short story, you need to think about who will be
reading it. Will your audience be adults, teenagers, elementary
students, or some other group? Will you be writing your story for
your teacher and classmates? Will you be in a testing situation
where you will be given a prompt? Will you try to publish your short
story?
Writing the Short Story:
Purpose and Audience
• Think for a moment about how your intended audience will
change the way you write. Writing for elementary or middle
school students will not be the same as writing for adults. You
might also write a different kind of story if your friends are the
intended audience.
• Let’s review one more time. Before you write, you must do
two things:
• 1. Determine a purpose.
• 2. Determine who the audience is.
Short Story: Brainstorming
• Now that you know your purpose and audience, you need to
develop ideas and questions for your short
story. Brainstorming refers to many different practices for
generating ideas. Of course it isn’t literally a weather event in
your head, but a mental storm in which you allow your mind
to think freely and write about ideas that may eventually
become the focus of your writing. This part of the lesson will
focus on brainstorming techniques you can use to gather ideas
for a short story.
Freewriting: a brainstorming
technique
• Freewriting is the first brainstorming technique we’ll discuss.
To freewrite, find a quiet place to work with no distractions.
Next, take five to fifteen minutes (use a timer if you have one
available) and write as much as you know, or can imagine,
about your topic. In this lesson, you will look at a picture and
generate ideas and questions about it for a short story.
• When you freewrite, follow these guidelines:
• Don’t worry about grammar or spelling.
• Don’t go back and review what you have already written.
• Don’t stop until your time is up.
• When you are finished, read what you have written and circle,
underline, or highlight any ideas that you think will work well
for the short story you are going to write.
Graphic Organizer
• Follow the directions in the organizer. If what you write brings
up questions, write them down. When you are finished, return
to the lesson, but save your graphic organizer or keep it open
to refer to later in this section.
Parts of a short story: Plot
• Now that you’re warmed up, let’s review the parts of a short story.
These are essential ingredients that must be included:
• I. Plot: The plot is the sequence of events in a short story. A short story
typically has one plot and is meant to be read in a short span of time. An
elusive part of plot is the theme or message of the story. Theme helps to
bring the elements of a short story together. The plot contains three
main parts:
• Beginning: The beginning of the story or the exposition provides
background information. This is where the characters and setting are
introduced to the reader. Most importantly, we are also introduced to
the main conflict of the story.
Middle: During the rising action, interest or suspense builds as a conflict
develops. The climax is the turning point of the story. The climax is
followed by the falling action. This is where the events of the story
begin to be resolved.
End: At the end of the story, or the denouement, the conflict is resolved,
and the action ends.
Parts of a short story: Setting
• II. Setting: The setting is the time and place of a short story.
The setting is important because it is the when and where of a
story. The short story’s setting contains the following:
• Place: the physical location where the story takes place
Time: possibly a historical period as well as the time of day
Mood: the atmosphere and feelings the writer is trying to
create
•
For example, mood may be happy, sad, mysterious,
or frightening.
Parts of a short story:
Characters
• III. Characters: The characters are the people who drive a
story. They speak through dialogue to let a reader know what
is being said. The characters' dialogue can help the reader
understand more about other characters.
• Note: Remember that a short story is fictional. You make up
the events and parts of the story.
Short Story Terms: Matching
• 1. Mood
• 2. Place
• 3. Setting
• 4. Characters
• 5. End
• 6. Middle
• 7. Beginning
• 8. Time
• 9. Plot
• A. How the events in a short story
play out.
• B. Where an explanation of the plot
or exposition occurs.
• C. The rising action, where the events
in a story unfold in the climax.
• D. Known as the denouement, this is
where the conflict is resolved.
• E. The physical location of the story.
• F. The location and the time in which
the short story takes place.
• G. The year, calendar day, or time of
day when the story takes place.
• H. The “atmosphere” created in the
introduction.
• I. The people who make it all happen
and speak the dialogue.
Graphic Organizer: Organizing
a Short Story
Writing the Expository
Essay: Audience and Purpose
• In this section, you will learn
to do another kind of writing.
You will write an expository
essay about “The Great Texas
Drought of 2011.” An
expository essay is based on
real experiences or
nonfiction, but similar to the
short story, you need to
decide the purpose of and
audience for the writing. The
purpose could be that you
want your audience to
• become more aware of the
harm that a drought can cause;
• attend a meeting to talk about
drought; or
• learn about drought effects and
conditions.
Source: Lake Travis Drought, Texas Parks and
Wildlife
Audience and Purpose
• To understand how the purpose of an expository essay affects the content,
choose the correct response for each sentence below. Write the question and
answer on your own paper.
• 1. “You may want to wash your car daily or take a long shower, but you should
never waste water, especially in a drought.”
• This sentence might be found in an essay whose purpose is to—
• A. warn people about the dangers.
• B. create awareness about the situation.
C. report or summarize the situation.
D. create a dialogue with others.
•
2. “Effects of the drought include dry or dead vegetation, low water levels, and
fires.”
• This sentence might be found in an essay whose purpose is to—
• A. warn people about the dangers.
B. create awareness about the situation.
C. report or summarize the situation.
D. create a dialogue with others.
Audience and Purpose
• You will also need to consider the audience for your essay.
Your teacher will sometimes specify the audience when a
paper is assigned. If not, you will need to consider these
questions:
• Who do you anticipate will be reading your writing?
• What do you think they may already know about your topic?
• What new information do you want them to learn about your
topic?
Purpose Questions
• Read the examples below and decide the best audience for each purpose. Choose the
correct answer
• 1. Purpose: Making sure home and business owners understand water restriction rules and
consequences of not obeying them.
The best audience for this purpose is . . .
• A. Community Leaders
• B. Congress
• C. School Administration
• 2. Purpose: Imposing sensible restrictions for water consumption of football players during
two-a-day practices.
The best audience for this purpose is . . .
• A. Community Leaders
• B. Families
• C. School Administration
• 3. Purpose: Encouraging the placement of water flow control devices on bathroom shower
heads. The best audience for this purpose is . . .
• A. Community Leaders
• B. Families
• C. School Administration
Writing the Expository Essay:
Brainstorming Techniques
• “The Great Texas Drought of 2011” is a
huge topic that needs to be narrowed
down before you can start working on
your essay.
• It would be a good idea to start by
finding a common definition of
“drought,” looking into the history of
droughts in Texas, and then adding
supporting details to address your
definition.
• First, however, you need to ask yourself,
“What is it about this topic that
interests me?” To address that question,
you could brainstorm using the
freewriting technique that we discussed
in the sections on writing a short story,
but try your hand at two other
brainstorming techniques
instead: listing and mind mapping.
• Listing
• Watch the video clip (see Mrs. M’s
computer) several times and use it as a
starting point for brainstorming more
about your topic. Focus on the content
presented.
• Using your notes, list as many issues
about the drought as you can
remember from the video. Don’t stop to
think; just write everything you can
remember about the video clip and any
thoughts you have about what you saw.
When you are finished creating your list,
check your understanding to see a
possible response.
Check Your Understanding
• Sample Response:
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
Maybe you wrote a list something like this:
2011 drought may become a long-term drought.
This drought was epic, similar to one in the 1940s and 50s.
Nearly every major Texas heat record was broken (including hottest
summer ever, hottest month ever, hottest August temperature, most
90- and 100-degree days).
Dry soil led to higher temperatures.
Two years of La Niña is responsible for the drought.
La Niña starts with air over the Pacific.
Texas agriculture losses were the worst in history, totaling more than
five billion.
Lakes were filled by one heavy rainfall during another period of
extremely dry weather.
Listing Example
•
Remember, for this example my assignment is
to write an expository essay that explains the
effects of “The Great Texas Drought of 2011.” I
have decided to focus on the damage caused
by this drought and my experience during it.
Cross out the issues on my list that don't
relate directly to my purpose. Check your
understanding to see a revised list.
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
Sample Response:
I am deleting the background information
about La Nina for now. I can add it back later if
I need it. I have decided to focus on the
damage caused by this drought and my
experience during it, so I'm also not going to
use the example of one rainfall refilling several
lakes. This event could be its own separate
topic.
2011 drought may become a long-term
drought.
This drought was epic, similar to one in the
1940s and 50s.
Nearly every major Texas heat record was
broken (including hottest summer ever,
hottest month ever, hottest August
temperature, most 90- and 100-degree days).
Dry soil led to higher temperatures.
Two years of La Niña is responsible for the
drought.
La Niña starts with air over the Pacific.
Texas agriculture losses were the worst in
history, totaling more than five billion.
Lakes were filled by one heavy rainfall during
another period of extremely dry weather.
Mind Mapping
• Another brainstorming technique you can use is a mind map or
graphic conceptual organizer.
• To begin, take a piece of paper and write your central topic in the
middle of the page. Next, fill the page with everything you can come
up with about your topic, writing anywhere you wish. This is where
your listing exercise comes in handy because you can use the ideas
from your list. After you are finished, draw lines or arrows between
similar ideas and assign them to a category.
• Take a look at this example: Let’s create a mind map together. We’ll
write our topic in the middle bubble: “The Great Texas Drought of
2011.” Next, we will organize our data into clusters. A What cluster is
a good place to start. What is the essay about? The next cluster is
a When cluster. When did the drought begin and end? The next
cluster is a Where cluster that addresses the geographical areas
affected by the drought. Finally, we’ll include a How cluster
indicating how devastating the drought has been.
•
•
For each detail that appears below, choose whether it answers a What, When, Where, or How question about
your essay topic. Some details may answer more than one question, but see if you can find the response we chose
for each one. The point is to consider how information relates to your topic.
1. Epic drought similar to Dust Bowl Drought “officially” started in February
•
•
•
•
•
2. First six months driest in a century
•
•
•
•
•
A. Where did the drought happen?
B. When did the drought happen?
C. What has happened as a result of the drought?
D. How bad is the drought?
3. Drought devastating agriculture in Texas (over three billion agricultural dollars lost in Texas alone)
•
•
•
•
•
A. Where did the drought happen?
B. When did the drought happen?
C. What has happened as a result of the drought?
D. How bad is the drought?
A. Where did the drought happen?
B. When did the drought happen?
C. What has happened as a result of the drought?
D. How bad is the drought?
4. 54 Texas counties categorized as severe drought zones
•
•
•
•
A. Where did the drought happen?
B. When did the drought happen?
C. What has happened as a result of the drought?
D. How bad is the drought?
•
5. We need a lot of rain really badly, water resources drying up
•
•
•
•
•
6. The dry conditions have led to wildfires
•
•
•
•
•
A. Where did the drought happen?
B. When did the drought happen?
C. What has happened as a result of the drought?
D. How bad is the drought?
8. Drought affecting 12% of the country mainly in the south and the west
•
•
•
•
•
A. Where did the drought happen?
B. When did the drought happen?
C. What has happened as a result of the drought?
D. How bad is the drought?
7. Landscape here in Texas being referred to as “dead”
•
•
•
•
•
A. Where did the drought happen?
B. When did the drought happen?
C. What has happened as a result of the drought?
D. How bad is the drought?
A. Where did the drought happen?
B. When did the drought happen?
C. What has happened as a result of the drought?
D. How bad is the drought?
Mind Map Example
Resources Used in This
Lesson: Bibliography
• Cather, Willa. “On the Gull's Road.” americanliterature.com.
http://www.americanliterature.com/Cather/SS/OntheGullsRo
ad.html.
• “‘Drought of 2011 was one for the books.” KXAN. YouTube
video, 3:22. Posted October 17, 2011.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UsIan4b5f_c.
Rising: Effective Introductions and Conclusions
EDITING
Introduction
• Take a Deep Breath
•
•
•
•
•
•
“Hallelujah! I’m finished.”
“Finished with what?”
“I’m finished with my essay.”
“That’s great. The hard part is getting that first draft finished.”
“What do you mean ‘the hard part’? What other part is there?”
“You’re going to revise it, aren’t you? I mean, I thought you were serious
about this.”
• “No, I don’t want to revise it. I don’t even want to look at it again. I’m
finished. It’s done.”
• We could continue this interchange, but you probably get the idea.
Once you finish an essay, it’s really hard to go back and revise it. Why
not just let it be? If it seems finished, then it will probably be OK.
• The problem is that what we see on the page and hear in our heads
can be very different from what a reader sees and hears. Revision is
the time to be a reader of your own writing. That means you have to
pretend you don’t see how things connect until you’re shown how to
connect them. You have to pretend that you’re coming to this essay for
the first time.
Introduction
• One of the best things you can do to help you revise an essay is to put some time
between you as a writer and you as a reader. If you can let the paper “rest” for
one or two days, you will have a much easier time seeing what is there on the
page. You won’t be as tempted to fill in gaps or missing connections with what’s
in your head. Writers often don’t have time, however, to let an essay sit for
several days. If you can give it two hours, that will help. Even just fifteen minutes
may help you come back to the essay with the right attitude.
• What if you were asked to read a very good friend's essay, and your friend told
you it was extremely important for the essay to be clear, eloquent, and
appropriate to the audience and purpose?
• You would read your friend's essay looking for, almost hoping for, places where it
could be revised. Maybe the first thing you would notice is that the introduction
sets up expectations for a different paper from what follows. You might also
notice that the introduction is sort of dead. In addition to those two problems,
you might realize that the conclusion is only a simple restatement of previous
ideas. There are probably other things to look at, but the thesis, the
introduction, and the conclusion are good places to start.
Introduction
• In this lesson, you will learn how to adjust your thesis so it
accurately reflects the main idea of your essay. You will learn
how to breathe life into a dead introduction and how to
enliven a conclusion so it’s more than a mechanical repetition
of material you have already covered.
• The first draft really is the hard part. Revising is not nearly as
hard as writing a first draft, but sometimes it may seem to you
that getting yourself to do the revision is the hardest part. Just
remember; revision is not optional if you are serious about
your writing.
• You just need to take a deep breath and start.
Station Vocabulary
• thesis - The subject or theme of a speech or composition
• dialogue - The lines spoken between characters in fiction or a
play
• anecdote - A short narrative that relates an interesting or
amusing incident, usually in order to make or support a larger
point
Adjusting the Thesis
• You may think it’s strange to revise a thesis. Your whole essay is based on your
thesis. If you revise it, won’t that mean you have to revise the entire essay?
• In a perfect world of perfect writers, it will probably be true that once you have
decided on the main idea of your essay, the main idea would not change.
However, writers don’t write in a perfect world, and (for the most part) writers
aren’t perfect. Sometimes you will discover your topic as you write. As a result,
your ideas will change so that when you finish, the idea you started with is no
longer the center of your essay.
• The famous writer E. M. Forster said “How can I know what I think till I see what
I say?” Forster was an important novelist and essayist. You are in good company
if you end up saying something different from what you thought you would say
when you started.
• When you find out that your thesis doesn’t match your essay content, what
should you do about it?
• The thesis is important because it focuses the essay. The whole essay should be
constructed to develop one main idea. If the whole essay develops a main idea,
but the main idea is different from the thesis that you stated or suggested in
your introduction, the most obvious thing to do is to change the thesis.
Adjusting the Thesis
• The thesis makes a promise to the
reader. If your introduction states or
suggests that the essay will be about the
moneymaking possibilities of keeping
honey bees, you had better write about
the moneymaking possibilities of
keeping honey bees. Otherwise, your
readers will be at best confused and at
worst annoyed.
• OK, so what if you begin writing about
the bees, but then as you write, your
interest and focus move toward how
fascinating it is to observe honey bees
at work? You haven’t made the promise
yet because you are still writing the
essay. Instead of promising to write
about money, you can adjust the thesis
so it promises to explain how fascinating
it can be to observe the bees.
• Let’s look at an example of how this
works. Let’s say you decide to write an
essay about learning honesty from your
mother. You plan to show how honest
your mother is. The thesis is “My
mother is a model of honesty.”
• After you finish writing, you look at
what you have written and find these
subtopics:
•
•
•
•
My mother expected me to be honest
with her.
My mother got angry when she
discovered I wasn’t honest.
My mother taught me to be honest with
my friends.
I have learned to be honest from
watching my mother.
Adjusting the Thesis
• The answer is no. Which of the following is a better statement
of focus for this paper? Write your answer on your own paper,
and in 1 – 2 sentences, explain why.
• A. I am an honest person.
• B. I learned to be honest from my mother.
• C. Honesty is a very important virtue.
• D. I’m always honest with my friends
Adjusting the Thesis
• You sometimes have to “look at what you’ve said” to find out “what
you think.” Always reread an essay to check the accuracy of your
stated (or implied) thesis. Don’t be surprised if you end up with a
different topic than the one you intended.
• Of course, there are times when you have to be sure not to stray
from what is expected or required: when answering essay questions
on a test or when writing an essay to respond to a prompt, for
example.
• If a prompt asks you to respond to a particular quotation, you can’t
write about a different quotation. In this case, your thesis shouldn’t
be changed if the change means it no longer responds to the
prompt. In any situation where you have a choice of thesis, however,
the first step is to adapt your thesis to reflect the main idea of your
essay.
•
Introductions
• “When I was in middle school, my mother came into my room every morning to tell me it
was time to get up. I know that lots of my friends had to get up by themselves, but I never
thought about getting ready for school by myself. Then everything changed. One day my
father gave me an alarm clock. He said that from now on I could take responsibility in the
morning.”
• Did that paragraph get you interested in reading more? Did you connect with it? Did it make
you laugh or smile? Did it make you cringe or feel sympathy? Maybe it did one or more of
those things. This introductory paragraph isn’t bad, but it’s very ordinary. If you are serious
about your writing, ordinary will not be good enough. This introduction establishes the
context and clearly introduces the thesis idea: “An alarm clock helped me take
responsibility for myself in the morning.”
• If this was part of your essay and you asked a friend to read your essay and suggest
changes, your friend might not say anything about this paragraph needing to be changed.
There is nothing wrong with it that must be corrected. It’s just that it’s not very effective.
It’s ordinary, maybe even a little boring.
• So what can you do? It would be nice if this paragraph introduced not only the topic and
the main idea of the essay but also the personality of the essay. As it stands, the paragraph
might as well have been written by a robot. We want to feel that a real person is behind
this; we want to hear tone or attitude.
• There are many, many ways to begin an essay. This section will describe and let you to
practice three strategies. As you work with these strategies, you should develop a sense of
what makes a good introduction. You should also get a sense of what gives personality to an
introduction. When you begin to understand what is needed for a good introduction, then
you can use other strategies beyond these three and even invent some of your own.
Introductions
• Use dialogue. Have you ever seen a written text start with dialogue?
If you said no, you haven’t been paying attention to this lesson,
which started with dialogue. The first sentences of the lesson
introduction are “Hallelujah! I’m finished.” “Finished with what?”
“I’m finished with my essay.”
• Use an anecdote. An anecdote is a brief story. We could have started
this lesson with an anecdote instead of the dialogue. We could have
begun with this:
• Source: cry, egg on stilts, Flikr
• Seriously, I started to cry. I had worked for three days on that essay.
When I got it back, the teacher had written “Very good start. Revise
it carefully, and hand it back in tomorrow.” So I stayed after class and
asked her what was wrong with it. I wanted to know what I needed
to correct. She said the introduction was rather ordinary, for one
thing. Also she said that the conclusion was an uninteresting
restatement of the main idea. What did she want, excitement and
drama? I was just writing an essay.
Introductions
• Be a mind reader. Using the mind-reader strategy, you begin
by presuming what is in a reader’s mind concerning your
topic. You then surprise the reader by introducing a new idea
(your thesis) that contrasts with those presumed ideas. An
introduction for this lesson using the mind-reader strategy
might go like this:
• You probably think that revision is the same as correction. You
probably think a writer only revises when there’s something
wrong with the writing. You might even think that good
writers get it right the first time. Am I right? Well, if you do
think this way, you are wrong. Revision isn’t just correction, it
isn’t just for writing that has errors, and it isn’t just for bad
writers. In fact, some people would say that the difference
between a good writer and an average one is how well the
writer revises.
Practice with Dialogue
• For each of the practice exercises that follow, we’ll use the topic of “helping people out.” A
model of an introduction using dialogue appears below. Read the model, and then try your
hand at revising the ordinary introduction (about the alarm clock) at the beginning of this
section. You will write your version using a graphic organizer. More instructions follow the
model introduction.
• Here’s a model introduction for an essay about helping people out that uses dialogue:
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
“Oh wow, did you see that? That guy really ate it on those stairs.”
“Yeah, I see. Oh no, his backpack came open, and the wind is scattering his papers.”
“This is crazy. I’m glad I’m not him right now.”
“Should we go over and help?”
“Nah. I’ve got to get to class. It’s not our problem.”
“Yeah, you’re right.”
This didn’t actually happen to me. But it could have. I would have been the guy who said, “I’ve
got to get to class.” That’s how I felt about helping people out two years ago, but since then I
have grown up, at least a little. I now think about situations like this a little differently because
of something that my mother told me. I now think that it is “my problem.” I think that helping
other people out when I can is just the right thing to do.
• Use this model to help you revise the “alarm clock” introduction from the beginning of
this section. As you revise, pay attention to the transition from the dialogue to the thesis
statement. You can’t abruptly jump from the dialogue to your main idea. In the previous
example, the writer used four sentences to connect the dialogue to the statements about
his or her attitude toward helping people.
Practice with Anecdotes
• If dialogue does not appeal to you, try using an anecdote in the introduction as
shown below. Read the model, and then try your hand at revising the ordinary
introduction.
• Here’s a model introduction about helping people out that uses an anecdote:
• “When I was in sixth grade, I liked to go to the grocery store with my mom.
Once, something happened that I have never forgotten. It was really a very small
thing, but it changed the way I felt about helping other people. My mom and I
were in the produce section, and a man in front of us pulled an orange from the
display. A small avalanche of oranges began, and they were soon bouncing
around on the floor. I started laughing because it was, in fact, pretty funny.
However, my mom immediately began to help him corral the oranges and put
them back where they belonged. I still think things like this can be funny, but I
have also learned a grown-up concern for people involved in small accidents like
this one. Now I always try to help out if I can. It is just the right thing to do.”
• Use the model to help you revise the “alarm clock” introduction at the
beginning of this section. When you write your revision, don’t jump abruptly
from the anecdote to your main idea. In the example above, notice the
transitional sentence (starting with “I still think”) that connects the anecdote to
the thesis. Return to page two of your graphic organizer to do the revision using
this strategy.
Practice with Mind-Reading
• Here is a model of an introduction using the mind-reading strategy. Read the
model and try your hand at revising the ordinary introduction from the
beginning of this section.
• Model introduction for an essay about helping people out:
• “You probably think all teenagers are self-involved and inconsiderate of others.
You would probably be surprised to see a teenager help someone get some
bulky groceries into a car. You probably don’t think that teenagers would ever
pick something up to return it to a person who dropped it or share an umbrella
with someone in the rain. I’m a teenager, and I will admit that I sometimes used
to act like this. But something that my mother explained to me changed my
mind about helping other people out. Now, I think that helping other people out
when I can is just the right thing to do.”
•
Use the model to help you revise the “alarm clock” introduction at the
beginning of this section. When you write the revised introduction, pay
attention to the transition from the mind-reading comments to the thesis
statement. You can’t abruptly jump to your main idea. In the example above, the
writer uses two sentences to connect the mind-reading statements to the
statements about his or her attitude toward helping people. Return to page
three of the graphic organizer to do your revision.
Conclusions
• Read this conclusion to the alarm clock essay:
• “I used to depend on my mother to get me up every morning. Besides that, I
depended on her to remind me about homework, to give me money when I
needed it, and even to make sure I had the right clean clothes to wear to my job.
Now I’ve learned to be responsible for myself.”
• Here are some questions to ask about this conclusion: Is anything included that
is different than what you read in the rest of the essay? Is there anything that
hasn’t been presented already?
• Conclusions (like introductions) need to deliver the essentials: a reminder of
the thesis and a reminder of the central points supporting the thesis. The
conclusion above does those things, but it does no more. It seems reasonable for
a reader to skip it since it doesn’t say anything new.
• Though conclusions are not the place to introduce new subtopics, it’s still
possible to write a conclusion that is worth the time it takes to read it. A
conclusion can tie the end of the essay to the beginning to give a reader a
satisfying sense of unity. A conclusion can also introduce results and effects:
ways that the thesis idea can be extended into the future.
• In this section, we are going to practice two strategies for revising conclusions.
The first is mirroring, which circles back to the beginning of the essay. The
second is projection into the future, which focuses on results and effects. These
strategies are two ways to improve an ordinary essay conclusion.
Mirroring
• Mirroring refers the reader to the way the essay began—not
to the main ideas, but to the particular situation, example,
anecdote, or analogy that was initially used to get the reader
interested in the essay.
• Remember the dialogue introductions in the last section?
Look at the dialogue that was used for the essay about helping
other people. It is repeated for you below.
• To mirror the use of dialogue, we could start the conclusion
with some dialogue. That seems a little cumbersome, though.
Referring back to the situation of the students observing a
third student dropping his backpack would make enough of a
connection.
Mirroring
• Introduction
• “Oh wow, did you see that?
That guy really ate it on those
stairs.”
• “Yeah, I see. Oh no, his
backpack came open and the
wind is scattering his papers.”
• “This is crazy. I’m glad I’m not
him right now.”
• “Should we go over and
help?”
• “Nah. I’ve got to get to class.
It’s not our problem.”
• “Yeah, you’re right.”
• Conclusion
• Now, if I saw someone “eat it”
on the stairs and saw papers
flying all over the place from a
dropped backpack, I don’t
think I would say, “It’s not my
problem.” It is my problem to
help people out when I can.
My mother helped me see
this and changed the way I
think about helping other
people. If my friend asked me
“Should we go over and help
him?” whether I had to get to
class or not, I’d say, “yes.”
Mirroring Practice
• Can you see all the points at which the
conclusion mirrors the introduction?
• Words from the introduction
• ate it
• on those stairs
• his backpack
• papers
• Should we go over and help him?
• have to get to class
• It’s not our problem.
• Words from the conclusion
• eat it
• on the stairs
• the backpack
• papers
• Should we go over and help him?
• had to get to class
• It’s not my problem.
•
• Look back at the dialogue you wrote for
the alarm clock introduction in your
graphic organizer. Using your notes,
write a conclusion that mirrors your
alarm clock introduction. When you are
finished, check your understanding to
see how someone else used mirroring
to revise. The ordinary version of the
conclusion is repeated below for you to
use as a starting point.
•
“I used to depend on my mother to get
me up every morning. Besides that, I
depended on her to remind me about
homework, to give me money when I
needed it, and even to make sure I had
the right clean clothes to wear to my
job. Now I’ve learned to be responsible
for myself.”
Projection
• When you use projection in a
conclusion, you guide readers to
make use of your thesis idea. If
your thesis idea is that helping
other people when you can is the
right thing to do, then you should
help your readers imagine how
this idea could change the way a
person might live his or her life.
Look at the example revision of a
conclusion below.
• Model conclusion for an essay
about helping out other people:
• “When I was younger, I didn’t
feel any need to help people out,
but I have grown up, at least a
little. I now think differently
about helping other people
because of what my mother told
me. I think that helping other
people out when I can is just the
right thing to do. This isn’t always
easy. Sometimes it makes me late
or takes some effort. But I think it
is always worth it. And the thing
is that when I help other people,
they are very likely to pass it on
and help someone else. By taking
the time to help other people
when we can, we may just make
the world a better place to live.”
Projection Practice
• How does this conclusion
project? It projects into
the future by considering
the domino effect that
could result from helping
people.
• Using your notes, write a
conclusion for the alarm
clock essay that projects
into the future; revise
the original version of
the conclusion shown
below.
• “I used to depend on my
mother to get me up
every morning. Besides
that, I depended on her
to remind me about
homework, to give me
money when I needed it,
and even to make sure I
had the right clean
clothes to wear to my
job. Now I’ve learned to
be responsible for
myself.”
Conclusions
• Tip for higher-level
writers: Avoid giving your readers
advice at the end of an essay.
Most readers do not want to be
told what to do. They would
rather read about your
expectations for yourself. In other
words, say “The next time I see
________, I’ll do _______” rather
than “So the next time you see
________, do ________.”
• Experiment with revision
possibilities. Give yourself
options. Watch how other writers
handle introductions and
conclusions. Above all, don’t skip
revision. After you’ve done the
hard part by writing the first
draft, take your writing seriously
and spend some time revising it.
Check Your Understanding
•
Read the essay below and help the author find the best revisions for the introduction, conclusion, and thesis by
answering the questions that follow.
•
•
An Unusual Pet
(1) Most people probably have the idea that keeping tarantulas as pets is dangerous, but the idea that tarantulas
are out to get you is a superstition. (2) Actually tarantulas are very good pets for plenty of reasons.
Will a tarantula bite you? Well, if you give it a hard time, yes. Will a puppy bite you if you bother it enough? Yes.
What pet can you think of that will not bite or sting or do something to defend itself if it feels threatened? If you
want to mistreat your pet and not have it retaliate, you’d better get a philodendron. Different kinds of tarantulas
have different venom potencies, but the bite of most tarantulas is about equivalent to a bee sting. Have you ever
seen pictures of beekeepers covered with bees but not getting stung? Do you think that beekeepers train bees not
to sting? No. A beekeeper makes sure not to make the bees feel threatened. A beekeeper avoids bee stings by
making sure the bees feel safe. If you have a tarantula for a pet, you can avoid getting bitten by making sure you do
not threaten the tarantula.
To be sure, some tarantulas are aggressive and easily angered. The Ornate Golden Baboon tarantula has an eightinch leg span and is covered with orange hairs. An SPCA official who picked up such a spider from an owner who
decided he could “no longer care for it” said it was “the kind of spider that nightmares are made of.” The owner
made the decision to give up the spider when it started rearing up on its hind legs and exposing its half-inch fangs.
The owner inferred from this behavior that the spider was becoming too dangerous to keep as a pet. This was
probably a safe inference to make.
However, a Chilean Rose tarantula is “very docile.” That is the kind of spider you want for a pet. If you get a Chilean
Rose and treat it with respect and consideration, you will probably never have to deal with a spider bite. Even if it
should nip at you, the bite will only cause a little swelling. There will be no rush to the emergency room and no
need to call the SPCA to come and take the spider away.
(3) It is important, if you want to get a tarantula, to know which few breeds are truly dangerous. (4) It is also
important to know how to take care of a tarantula once you bring it home. (5) Informed pet owners know that
most tarantulas are not dangerous. (6) If treated properly, tarantulas are very good pets.
•
•
•
•
Revision Questions
• 1. The author wants to revise the introduction to have a more interesting beginning. Which of the
following could best replace sentence 1 to connect with readers in an emotional and humorous
way?
•
•
•
•
A “Errrr these are not cute . . . they could kill you.” This is what a girl named Maggie wrote about
tarantulas on the Cute Home Pets website. However, the idea that tarantulas are out to get you is
the same sort of superstition that leads people to think snakes are slimy or that bats will fly into your
hair and bite your neck.
B Many people are afraid of tarantulas. Tarantulas, it is true, can bite, but the bite is no more painful
or consequential than a bee sting.
C Tarantulas are harmless to humans and to most household pets. Nobody has ever died from the
bite of a tarantula. They are nocturnal creatures so hunt mostly at night. If you own a tarantula, you
should keep it in a small enclosure because a large enclosure will just make it feel insecure.
D There are tarantulas from Africa and tarantulas from North and South America. One of the most
important differences between the two types is that the tarantulas from the Americas (New World
tarantulas) have tiny hairs with barbs at the ends that can be released by the tarantula when it is
threatened. The effect of these small hairs is unpleasant, but unless they get into your eyes, they are
harmless.
• 2. The author checked the thesis and decided that it does not reflect the content of the rest of the
essay. Which of the following would be the best replacement for the original thesis statement
(sentence 2)?
•
•
•
•
A Actually, tarantulas are very interesting creatures.
B Actually, tarantulas have differing venom potencies.
C Actually, most tarantulas are not dangerous.
D Actually, tarantulas are inexpensive to care for.
Revision Questions
• 3. The author wants to begin the conclusion with something more interesting than the
informational statements in the original essay. He wants to replace sentences 3, 4, and 5. Which
of the following will begin the conclusion with a lively tone and lead into the restatement of the
thesis idea?
•
•
•
•
A A Goliath Bird Eater is the largest known tarantula. It is nearly a foot across and has fangs that are
an inch long. It is a New World spider native to the South American jungles.
B Some people will probably never get over the idea that spiders wait in dark corners for a chance to
leap out at humans and inject them with fatal venom. Such people shouldn’t become spider owners.
These people would probably scare the poor spiders with their screeches of fear and wails of disgust.
C Tarantulas come in many shapes, sizes, colors, and temperaments. Also, some are more expensive
to buy than others. A prospective tarantula owner should consult a good reference on spider care
before embarking on tarantula ownership.
D My friend Roberto has a wolf spider for a pet. Roberto has named the spider Peter Parker after the
Spider Man character. He says that taking care of Peter Parker is easier than taking care of any other
pet he’s ever had. He said it’s almost as easy as taking care of a houseplant.
• 4. The author wants to add a statement to replace sentence 6 that will powerfully restate the
revised thesis as a way to end the essay. Which of the following is the best choice?
•
•
•
•
A Tarantulas may always seem scary, but that is more because of superstition than reality. If treated
with care, most tarantulas are completely safe to keep as pets.
B Everyone should get a spider. You can scare your friends and have fun on Halloween. Remember
that Peter Parker fought for justice and helped keep the city safe for ordinary citizens.
C Safety is a relative term. You could say that it is not safe to have a dog because a dog might get
rabies and bite you. You could also say that it is not safe to get a parakeet. After all, a parakeet could
peck at an electrical cord and start a fire.
D Tarantulas are not nightmares. They are actually very cute if you think about it. What about stuffed
animals that are shaped like tarantulas? You have to admit that they are really cute.
Resources Used in this
Lesson: Bibliography
• Forster, E. M. Aspects of the Novel. New York: Rosetta Books,
1927.
• Holland, Carolyn C. “Tarantula Tales: Arachnophobia.” (blog).
February 21, 2012.
http://carolyncholland.wordpress.com/2010/02/21/tarantulatales-arachnophobia.
• “Rose Hair Tarantulas.” Lilreptile.com.
http://lllreptile.com/info/library/animal-caresheets/invertebrates/-/rose-hair-tarantula/.
• “Tarantula Facts.” Amazing Tarantulas.
http://www.amazingtarantulas.com/tarantulafacts.htm.
•
Active and Passive Voice
GRAMMAR
Introduction
• A country singer sits with his head bowed and hands clasped, while
a petite soprano sings scales to warm up her voice, and a tuxedoed
man concentrates on breathing deeply. These tense vocalists are
waiting to audition for NBC’s reality show The Voice. The mood
backstage is somber.
• This is not a lesson about improving the timbre of your vocal chords,
relieving tension, or lightening the mood when everyone’s on edge.
While voice, tense, andmood have familiar general meanings, they
mean something different in grammar. Each is a feature of verbs. By
focusing on these three features, you will expand your range of
editing skills and improve your writing.
• You might also reap indirect benefits. As you learn to replace passive
verbs with active ones, your writingvoice will become more
dynamic. As you learn to use verb tense consistently, your readers
might be less tense because they will know if what you are writing
about is from the past, present, or future. As you learn to use
grammatically correct verb forms, your teacher’s mood might also
improve.
Station Vocabulary
• passive voice - The grammatical voice in which the subject of the verb is
being acted upon by the verb (e.g., He was hit by the ball)
• active voice - Sentence structure in which the subject performs the
action of the verb (e.g., the dog bit the boy) rather than being acted
upon (e.g., the boy was bitten by the dog)
• participle - A verb form incorporating the use of -ed or -ing for regular
verbs and using the third principle part of the verb for irregular verbs
These verb forms are used to form the perfect tenses (e.g., Jim had
spoken) or to serve as modifiers (e.g., the writing assignment).
• indicative mood - Of, relating to, or constituting a verb form or set of
verb forms that represents the denoted act or state as an objective fact
• imperative mood - Having the form that expresses a command rather
than a statement or a question
• subjunctive mood - A verb mood expressing a wish or command, or a
hypothetical or anticipated condition (e.g., if I were finished eating, I
would go to the party)
• wistfully - Full of yearning or desire tinged with melancholy; also:
inspiring such yearning
Voice
Source: Cee Lo Green #thevoice,
stevgarfield, Flickr
Source: Christina Aguilera (2006),
Rafael Amado Deras, Wikimedia
Source: Adam Levine from
Maroon 5
cropped, Donna Lou
Morgan USN, Wikimedia
Source: BlakeSheltonApr10,
Keith Hinkle, Wikimedia
• In NBC’s reality show The Voice, musician judges Christina Aguilera, Cee
Lo Green, Adam Levine, and Blake Shelton sit with their backs to a
vocalist in a blind audition. One judge casts a vote of approval, and all
spin around to face the singer. The audience members, who have seen
the singer all along, anticipate the judges’ reactions.
• The passive voice in grammar is similar to this blind audition; this verb
construction doesn’t make clear to the reader who is acting, just as the
judges don’t know who is singing. Although hiding identities might work
well for a hit reality show, the same is not always true of writing.
Voice
• In grammar, voice indicates a relationship between the subject and
the action expressed. Voice comes in two forms. First there is
the active voice, which describes the subject “acting.” With an active
verb, the subject of the sentence is clearly doing something.
• Active Voice: The tenor belted out the song.In the other, the passive
voice, something is being done to the subject of the sentence. The
subject is “passively” undergoing the action of the verb. Sentences
written in the passive voice include a form of “to be” and the
past participle of a verb. A “by” phrase naming the performer of the
action often follows.
• Passive Voice: The song was belted out by the tenor.The active-voice
sentence emphasizes the singer, whereas the passive-voice sentence
emphasizes the song. With active voice, the tenor takes center
stage; with passive voice, the tenor takes a backseat. Even though
“belted” is an action verb, it loses some of its energy in the passivevoice construction.
Voice
• The normal word order of English sentences is subject-verb-object.
The subject acts upon the object.
• Active Voice: The tenor belted out the song. The doer of the action,
the tenor, is to the left of the main verb. We will call the doer in a
sentence the “actor,” and this first position is center stage. The actor
gets all the attention when he, she, or it comes first.
• The passive voice shakes up the normal subject-verb-object order.
• Passive Voice: The song was belted out by the tenor. In passive
voice, the actor is forced backstage to the end of the sentence. In
this backward construction, the acted upon is in the actor position,
and the actor is in the acted-upon position. The action is performed
upon the subject and the object becomes the subject.
Voice
• In On Writing, novelist Stephen King doesn’t mince words in
expressing his dislike for the passive voice.
• “You should avoid the passive tense. I’m not the only one who says
so; you can find the same advice in The Elements of Style. Messrs.
Strunk and White don’t speculate as to why so many writers are
attracted to passive verbs, but I’m willing to. . . . The passive voice is
safe. There is no troublesome action to contend with.”
• You might be too timid to read King’s horror genre at home alone on
Halloween night, but even if you are, you don’t have to be a timid
writer.
• Notice that King says we should avoid the passive voice; he doesn’t
say never to use it. This is because the passive voice is not wrong,
and we shouldn’t bury it entirely. In fact, sometimes the passive is
even preferable to the active voice.
Voice
• For instance, the passive voice comes in handy when you don’t want to be accountable.
Politicians may demonstrate this use of the passive voice by saying “mistakes were made.”
By speaking passively, they conveniently distance themselves from blunders. In that form of
the passive voice, the authors fail to name themselves as those who messed up. They get
around fault by avoiding the pronouns I and we. Here are some other evasive sentence
beginnings:
• It was apparent.
• It has been noted.
• It was decided.
• It is known to be.
• Anyone can resort to the passive voice to avoid taking responsibility. Which voice would you
use to tell your parent about your first car accident?
• Passive Voice: Dad, the right side of the car was damaged.
• Active Voice: Dad, I made a mistake and clipped some mailboxes, severely damaging the
right side of your expensive new car.
• In the first sentence, you get less of the blame. “By me” is implied, but you manage not to
say it out loud. When you use the passive voice to disguise the true subject, the culprit (you
in this case) might hope to get a reduced sentence. On the other hand, when a good thing
happens, you prefer the accountability of the active voice. Wouldn’t you say “I got an A”
rather than “An A was received by me”?
Voice
• The passive voice is justified in some occasions. Consider the following:
• The person doing an action may be unknown.
• The song was recorded on gramophone at 45 rpm. (Here, the artist may be
unknown.)
• The bicycle was stolen. (The thief is stealthy and didn’t get caught.)
• The person acting may be irrelevant, or it may not be important to say who did
the action.
• An error on the exam has been brought to my attention. (The name of who
pointed out the error doesn’t matter.)
• The package was delivered. (Who delivered it doesn’t matter.)
• In some cases, the object may be more important.
• Donations were made in the sum of $50,000. (Donations and the amount given
are important for this sentence; we will assume there were many givers or that
they were anonymous.)
• The body was moved after the victim was killed. (The fact that the body was
moved is important here; we may not know who moved it.)
• Despite these exceptions, you should use the active voice most of the time
because it’s clearer and more direct. Another compelling reason to write in
active voice is that it’s more concise. You can say more with fewer words. The
following activity demonstrates that economy.
Exercise
• Use your notes to rewrite each sentence into the active voice.
Create a version of the sentence that uses fewer words to say
the same thing. The number of words in each sentence has
been listed for you. After you rewrite the sentence, count how
many words you used. When you are finished, check your
understanding to see possible responses.
•
1. The note was dropped by the singer. (7)
• 2. A vocal mentor was chosen by the contestant. (8)
• 3. My homework has been eaten by the dog. (8)
• 4. It has been decided that downsizing the workforce is the
only way to save the company. (16)
• 5. The sightseers were picked up by the tour bus. (9)
Voice
• You don’t want to be wordy or get in the practice of
withholding information from your readers by using the
passive voice. If you know who did the action, say who it was.
Look for timid, passive-voice sentences in your writing and
rewrite them into the active voice.
• If you are not clear whether a sentence you have written is in
the passive voice, ask yourself whether the subject is acting
or being acted upon. If an acted-upon subject shows up, try to
flip the sentence around to get the actor in the right place.
Also ask yourself if the sentence clearly identifies the
performer of the action. If not, a passive sentence may have
been written by you.
Verb Tense
• El Paso, Texas, is in the Mountain Time Zone, while the rest of the state is in the
Central Time Zone. Unless you’re straddling an imaginary line east of El Paso, you
can’t be in two Texas time zones at once. Tenses are the time zones of writing.
• Every English sentence has a verb that describes an action, state, or occurrence.
These can happen in one of the three time zones in which we all exist—past,
present, or future. In the past, something happened, in the present
something happens, and in the future, something will happen. Consider the
sentences below.
•
• Last week on The Voice, the contestant performed a song from Lady Gaga, this
week sheperforms a Beyoncé song, and next week she will perform a Katy Perry
song.
• You’re already experienced using these three simple tenses. You know that
the simple past adds -ed to regular verbs, the present form adds an -s (when
the third-person singular is being used), and the future uses will or shall.
• However, in high school, you are expected to deliver more nuanced writing that
makes subtle distinctions in time. You may need to use a perfect tense. The
word perfect literally means “made complete” or “completely done.”
The present perfect shows an already completed action. The past and future
perfectshow when something happened or will happen in relation to when
something else happened or will happen.
Verb Tense
• Let’s look a little more closely at the more complex tenses in
English, including the perfect. The following chart shows how
the terms perfect and progressive combine to create the
traditional names for our tenses. In the chart we use the
word eat as our example.
Present
Past
eat, eats (simple
Simple
ate (simple past)
present)
am (is, are) eating(pre was (were) eating (pa
Progressive
sent progressive)
st progressive)
has (have) eaten (pre had eaten (past
Perfect
sent perfect)
perfect)
has (have) been
Perfect
eating(present
Progressive
perfect progressive)
Future
will eat (simple
future)
will be eating (future
progressive)
will have
eaten (future perfect)
will have been eating
had been eating (past (future perfect
perfect progressive) progressive)
Verb Tense
• Present Perfect
• The present perfect consists of a past participle (usually -ed) with has or have. It
designates action that began in the past but continues into the present.
• Beyoncé sang for ten years. (simple past)
• Beyoncé has sung for ten years. (present perfect)
• The first sentence implies that Beyoncé isn’t singing anymore. The second, with
the present perfect, implies that she is still singing.
• Past Perfect
• The past perfect tense designates action in the past just as the simple past does,
but the action of the past perfect is action completed in the past before another
action.
• John recorded his songs and later sold them. (past)
• John sold the songs that he had recorded. (past perfect)
• The songs were recorded before they were sold.
• Renee finished the performance when George arrived. (simple past)
• Renee had finished the performance when George arrived. (past perfect)
Verb Tense
• Future Perfect
• The future perfect tense designates action that will have been
completed at a specified time in the future.
• Saturday I will finish my rehearsal. (simple future)
• By Saturday noon, I will have finished my rehearsal. (future perfect)
• Now you will learn the progressive tenses, which concern ongoing
action in the past, present, and future.
• Present Progressive
• The present progressive tense describes an ongoing action that is
happening at the same time the statement is written or spoken. This
tense is formed by using the word am, is, or are with the verb form
ending in -ing.
• The performer is singing the National Anthem.
•
Verb Tense
• Past Progressive
• The past progressive tense describes a past action that was
happening when another action occurred. This tense is formed by
using the word was or were with the verb form ending in -ing.
• The performer was singing the National Anthem when the applause
started.
• Future Progressive
• The future progressive tense describes an ongoing or continuous
action that will take place in the future. This tense is formed by
using will be or shall be with the verb form ending in -ing.
• Norah Jones will be performing daily during the festival next week.
• Now that you understand present and progressive tenses, let’s do
something a little more complicated and add the two together. We
are going to create the perfect progressive tenses!
Verb Tense
• Present Perfect Progressive
• This tense indicates a continuous action that has been finished at
some point in the past or that was initiated in the past and
continues to happen. The action is usually of limited duration and
has some current relevance. For example, “She has been singing,
and her heart is still beating fast.” The present perfect progressive is
frequently used to describe an event of the recent past; it is often
accompanied by the wordjust as in this usage: “It has just been
raining.”
• The present perfect progressive tense is formed with the modal
word have or has (for third-person singular subjects) plus the
word been plus the present participle of the verb (with an ing ending): “I have been working in the garden all morning.”
“George has been painting that house for as long as I can
remember.”
Verb Tense
• Past Perfect Progressive
• Use the past perfect progressive tense to indicate a continuous
action that was completed at some point in the past. This tense is
formed with the modal word had plus the word been plus the
present participle of the verb (with an -ing ending): “I had been
rehearsing all morning.” “George had been rehearsing for weeks,
and he finally felt prepared.”
• Future Perfect Progressive
• Use the future perfect progressive when you want to indicate a
continuous action that will be completed at some point in the
future. This tense is formed with the modal word will plus the modal
word have plus the word been plus the present participle form of
the verb (with an -ing ending). Here is an example: “Next Thursday,
I will have been working on this project for three years.”
Verb Tense Exercise
• To get a better feel for the differences among the perfect and progressive tenses, answer a few
questions. Read each sentence and choose the correct answer. Select the tense of the verb phrase
that appears in bold text.
• 1. The first contestant has practiced piano since he was a boy of four.
•
•
•
A. Future perfect progressive
B. Present perfect
C. Present perfect progressive
• 2. When the police arrived at the hideout, the criminal regretted that he had stolen the painting.
•
•
•
A. Past perfect
B. Future perfect progressive
C. Future perfect
• 3. If the referee waits one more year to retire, he will have been calling games for 35 years.
•
•
•
A. Past perfect progressive
B. Future perfect
C. Future perfect progressive
• 4. By the time the season is over, our team will have played 35 games.
•
•
•
A. Future perfect progressive
B. Future perfect
C. Past perfect
• 5. The judges were consulting with one another while the musicians talked among themselves.
•
•
•
A. Past progressive
B. Future perfect
C. Past perfect progressive
Why so Tense?
• You will be relieved to
know that it is not
necessary to memorize
the names of the more
than thirty tenses like the
present perfect
progressive. What is
important to know is
that our language
accommodates subtle
differences in time and
that you can incorporate
these differences when
you edit.
Source: Don't Panic poster, Jim Linwood, Flickr
Principal Parts of Some
Common Irregular Verbs
• To take advantage of the more complex verb forms, you need
to know the principal parts of verbs. Regular verbs add -ed for
the past and past participle; irregular verbs change form
entirely. Be is an irregular verb, and it changes to was, were,
or been to relate to the past, depending on how you want to
use it. Sometimes, as language evolves, an irregular word such
as holp, once the past tense of help, evolves to the regular
form. Now in English we have helped. In other cases, like the
strange case of sneak, the regular past tense, sneaked, has
been losing ground to a newly created irregular form: snuck.
• However, using these more advanced tenses might be difficult
if you find irregular verbs challenging. If you catch yourself
writing “I have flew,” “I have rode,” or “I have went,” perhaps
the lesson on past and participle forms of irregular verbs
snuck by you.
V2
V1
Past
Base Form
Simple
awake
awoke
be
was, were
beat
beat
become
became
begin
began
bend
bent
bet
bet
bid
bid
bite
bit
blow
blew
break
broke
bring
brought
V3
Past
Participle
awoken
been
beaten
become
begun
bent
bet
bin
bitten
blown
broken
brought
Consistency of Verb Tenses
• When contestants on The
Voice hit flat notes, the judges
are not likely to choose them.
Writers sometimes hit flat notes
as well. One of those flat notes is
related to tense. When you’re
careless with tense, it causes
discord for readers, confusing
them and forcing them to reread.
For example, the next sentence
uses present and past together in
a way that doesn’t ring true.
• When the buzzer rings, the
contestant jumped.
• Avoid hitting those flat notes as a
writer by using consistent verb
tenses.
• When the buzzer rang, the
contestant jumped.
Source: 20120913-A-3103P-004, Joint Base
Lewis McChord, Flickr
• If you don’t want your reader straddling the time zones of writing or
having to stop to reread, you should pick a tense—usually either the
past or the present—and stick to it throughout your whole paper.
Generally, you should use the past tense to narrate events and the
present tense to discuss the contents of a literary work.
• Using the same tense throughout a sentence may seem simple, but
what about when the time frame changes, which requires a shift in
tense? You will need to make these kinds of time distinctions as you edit
your writing. These examples show how to correctly use two tenses in
one sentence.
• Even though the contestant loves country music, she agreed to sing a
rock ‘n’ roll hit on The Voice. (Loves is present tense because she
continues to love country music, but agreed is in the past because it
already happened.)Before the battle round began, the judge had
decided which singer would win. (Began is in the past tense; had
decided is in the past perfect and refers to a time before the action of
began.)By the time the singer finishes the song, the interest of the
audience has waned. (Finishes is present tense, and has waned is
present perfect.)
Verb Tense Exercise
• The main tense in Rudyard Kipling’s story “Rikki-Tikki-Tavi” is the past. Below is an excerpt from
the story, but with a few changes: some of the verb tenses have been altered as a challenge to
you.
• Your job is to find the five unnecessary shifts to the present tense. Each suspicious shift can be
found in a sentence that contains at least one past-tense verb. Read the text aloud, locate each
incorrect verb, and write it down. After you have written down all five words, answer the two
questions below for each sentence that had an incorrect tense. You will end up with ten answers
total.
• “She [Nagaina] headed straight for the long grass by the thorn-bush, and as he was running Rikkitikki heard Darzee still singing his foolish little song of triumph. But Darzee’s wife was wiser. She
flew off her nest as Nagaina came along, and flaps her wings about Nagaina’s head. If Darzee had
helped they might have turned her, but Nagaina only lowered her hood and goes on. Still, the
instant’s delay brought Rikki-tikki up to her, and as she plunges into the rat-hole where she and
Nag used to live, his little white teeth were clenched on her tail, and he went down with her—and
very few mongooses, however wise and old they may be, care to follow a cobra into its hole. It
was dark in the hole; and Rikki-tikki never knows when it might open out and give Nagaina room
to turn and strike at him. He held on savagely, and sticks out his feet to act as brakes on the dark
slope of the hot, moist earth.”
•
Using your notes, answer these two questions for each sentence that contains a wrong word.
•
1. In each sentence, what is the past-tense verb that gives away the error?
• 2. Which form of the wrong verb would a writer use instead to correct the sentence?
Mood
• Hopefully you’re in the mood to learn about mood, the last feature of
verbs in this lesson. The mood of a verb indicates whether the writer or
speaker regards the action as a fact, command, wish, request, or
a contradiction of fact. Consider the following moods:
• The indicative mood is used for ordinary statements and questions that
actually occur in reality. Most of your writing is in the indicative mood.
• This little pig went to market.
• The imperative mood is used for commands and strong suggestions. You
use this mood in speaking more than in writing, especially if you’re the
bossy type.
• Pass the bacon.
• The subjunctive mood is used for wishful thinking and conditions
contrary to fact. Grammar Girl’s podcast “Subjunctive Mood” provides
further instruction on the topic.
• If pigs could fly, we would have express bacon.
• It’s useful to know how to write wistfully, and the subjunctive mood can
do just that. For instance, how would you complete the following?
• If I were finished with high school tomorrow, I would . . .
Mood
• You might have overlooked the verb “were,” a subjunctive form, in
this sentence stem when you began imagining your college dorm
room or your audition on The Voice. “If I were finished with high
school tomorrow” is a wish contrary to fact. This wishful kind of
grammar is for talking and writing about things as they might be or
might have been, not as they are. The subjunctive mood also kicks in
when you use the words like would, could, should, and if. Notice that
our example has “would” in addition to “were.”
• It’s important to think about voice, tense, and mood as you revise.
Let’s face it; if you use the incorrect verb tense, it’s difficult to get a
good grade; however, subtle revisions to your work such as changes
to voice and mood make an OK essay into a very good one. You can
bet that if you read carefully and revise according to the above
suggestions, your mood will be lighter and your shoulders less tense.
You will tell everyone in a loud voice that you received an A on your
essay!
Resources Used in This
Lesson: Bibliography
• Every, Barbara. “‘Hedging’ in Scientific Writing.” Biomedical Editor.
http://www.biomedicaleditor.com/
hedging.html#ixzz29V02GdKM.
• Fogarty, Mignon. “Subjunctive Verbs.” Grammar Girl, March 5,
2009. http://grammar.quickanddirtytips.com/
subjunctive-verbs-was-i-were.aspx.
• “Irregular Verb List.” EnglishClub.com. http://www.englishclub.com/vocabulary/irregularverbs-list.htm.
• King, Stephen. On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft. New York: Pocket Books, 2000.
• Kipling, Rudyard. The Jungle Book. Project Gutenberg. 2012.
http://www.gutenberg.org/files/236/236-h/236-h.htm.
• LaRocque, Paula. The Book on Writing: The Ultimate Guide to Writing Well. Oak Park, IL:
Marion Street Press, Inc., 2003.
• O’Conner, Patricia T. Words Fail Me: What Everyone Who Writes Should Know About
Writing. New York: Harcourt, Brace & Company, 1999.
• “Perfect Tenses.” EnglishPlus.com. http://englishplus.com/grammar/00000361.htm.
• Simmons, Robin L. “Auxiliary Verbs.” Grammar Bytes.
http://www.chompchomp.com/terms/auxiliaryverb.htm.
• “The Verb Tenses in English.” English Grammar Guide.
https://sites.google.com/site/englishgrammarguide/Home/the-verb-tenses-in-english.
• Whitman, Neal. “‘Pet’ or ‘Petted’? ‘Grit’ or ‘Gritted’?” Grammar Girl, Aug 2, 2012.
http://grammar.quickanddirtytips.com/pet-or-petted.aspx.