Moving away from guided writing
Presenters:
SKH St Peter’s Primary School (AM & PM )
Ms Cynthia LEE & Ms Louisa CHIANG
Tel: 2546-2624
19 November 2005
Collaborative lesson preparation (English) in
SKH St Peter’s Primary School (AM & PM)
Operation in schools
Plan
Re-plan
September
October
November
Test
December
January
First-term examination
Re-plan
Re-plan
.
.
.
Ealsa’s 1st piece of individual written work
(12 October 04)
My name is Jenny. I am a
cat. I am a girl. I am white.
I have got big eyes. I have
got a small mouth. I have
got a small nose. I have got
small ear. I have got a small
tail. I am young. I am fat. I
like to eat fish. I am happy.
Ealsa’s 2nd piece of individual written work
(19 November 04)
My name is Alan. I am a monster.
I am a boy. I am old. I am forty
years old. I have got small eyes,
a big mouth and long ears. I am
black. I am fat, short and clean.
I like to eat children and
hamburgers. I can eat but I
can’t read and write. I am ugly.
Ealsa’s written work (28 November 04)
I am a clown. My name is Pipi. I
am beautiful, lovely and happy.
My eyes are stars. They are
big. My nose is a square. It is
small. My mouth is a rectangle.
It is big. I am colourful.
Ealsa’s progress
Ealsa: 28 Oct 04
Ealsa: 19 Nov 04
Ealsa: 28 Nov 04
My Toy friend
My name is Jenny. I
am a cat. I am a girl. I
am white. I have got
big eyes. I have got a
small mouth. I have
got a small nose. I
have got small ear. I
have got a small tail. I
am young. I am fat. I
like to eat fish. I am
happy.
Writing about a
monster
My name is Alan. I am
a monster. I am a boy.
I am old. I am forty
years old. I have got
small eyes, a big
mouth and long ears. I
am black. I am fat,
short and clean. I like
to eat children and
hamburgers. I can eat
but I can’t read and
write. I am ugly.
Writing about a clown
I am a clown. My name
is Pipi. I am beautiful,
lovely and happy. My
eyes are stars. They
are big. My nose is a
square. It is small. My
mouth is a rectangle.
It is big. I am
colourful.
•
•
Some variation in
sentence structures
Use of connectives
•
•
Providing more
details to enrich the
contents
Use of pronouns
Ealsa’s written work
(10 March 05)
A day in the park
Today is Sunday. I go to the park with my family. I
can see a swing, a seesaw, trees, flowers, a slide,
birds and a fountain. There are swing, seesaw
and a slide in the playground. The five flowers
are near the tree. The fountain is in the centre of
the park. The flowers are beautiful. The grass is
green. The trees are big and tall. My father is
reading a book. My mother is fishing. My brother
is sleeping. My sister is jumping. My grandfather
is eating. My grandmother is drinking. I am
running. The birds are singing. The dogs are
playing. I like this park. This park is very beautiful.
The park is clean. I am happy. I am very like this
picnic.
Ealsa’s written work
(23 March 05)
My pet
I have a pet. It is a cat. Her
name is May. May is shy, soft
and obedient. She is big. She
is yellow. She has got a small
nose. She has got a big mouth.
She has got six whiskers. She
has got four legs. She can run.
She can jump, climb, eat,
sleep and drink. She can’t
swim, play, read and write.
She is lovely and clean. Her
friend is dogs and ribbits.
She is beautiful. I am very
like my cat. But father
doesn’t like my cat. I have
this pet. I am very happy.
Ealsa’s written work
(30 April 05)
Myself
My name is Ealsa. I am a girl. I
am eight years old. I am yound. I
am thin. I am tall. My hair is long.
It is black. My eyes are big. They
are black. My ears are small. My
nose are small. I am clean. I am
brave. I am polite. I am obedient.
I am hard working. I like books. I
don’t like comics. I like to eat
hamburgers. I don’t like to eat
fishes. I like dolls. I don’t like
robots. I like reading. I don’t like
jumping. I like cats. I don’t like
dogs. I live in Hong Kong. I live
with my family. When I grow up,
I want to be a teacher. I am a
happy girl.
Myself
1.Name
2.Sex (boy/girl)
3.Age
a.How old
b.old/young
4.Appearance
a.fat/thin
6.Like/Dislike
a.food/drink
I like to eat…
b.toys
I like robots.
c.ativities
b.tall/short
c.hair(colour/long/short)
d.eyes(colour/big/small)
I like reading.
d.pets
e.ears
f.mouth
7.Where do you live?
g.nose
h.clean/dirty
b.I live with…
5.Attitude
a.shy/brave
b.polite/rude
c.obedient/naughty
d.hard working/lazy
I like cats.
a.I live in…
8.When you grow up,
what do you want to be?
When I grow up , I
want to be a ….
9.How do you feel?
I am a happy boy/girl.
Ealsa’s written work (12 May 05)
My Day
I get up at six thirty in the morning.
I brush my teeth at six forty-five in the
morning.
I have breakfast at six fifty in the
morning.
I go to school at seven fifteen in the
morning.
I have lessons at eight o’clock in the
morning.
I finish school at twelve forty at noon.
I have lunch at one o’clock in the afternoon.
I do homework at one thirty in the
afternoon.
I read books at four o’clock in the
afternoon.
I have buth at five o’clock in the evening.
I have dinner at seven o’clock in the
evening.
I watch TV at eight o’clock at night.
I bath at six o’clock in the evening.
I go to bed at nine thirty at night.
Ealsa’s written work: 2 June 05
Shared writing -> group writing -> individual writing
Maximizing the input
for students
Connecting
previous knowledge
with new learning
Modelling skills
but not merely contents
or formats
Activating previous
knowledge
Encouraging active
use of vocabulary
More risk-taking with
the students
Modelling
writing skills
Shared writing: Tim the crazy lion
1. Developing the story map
3. Writing the ending
2. Writing the story
Group writing
1st draft (group work)
Peer correction (group work)
Expanding the sentences in the 2nd draft (individual work)
Final writing product (individual work)
From peer correction to self-editing
•
Peer correction ~ students
check and find out errors in
groups.
•
Teacher copies the original
writing (group work) to each
student.
•
Each student edits the work by
adding more information and
ideas.
Individual written work
The final product:
Each student writes his/her
own essay after peer
correction and expanding
his/her ideas through self
editing.
My name is Alan. I am a
monster. I am a boy. I
am old. I am forty years
old. I have got small
eyes, a big mouth and
long ears. I am black. I
am fat, short and clean.
I like to eat children and
hamburgers. I can eat
but I can’t read and
write. I am ugly.
Shared writing -> group writing -> individual writing
(Post-exam activity)
1
Maximizing the input
for students
Modelling skills
but not merely contents
or formats
2
3
More risk-taking with
the students
5
Concept map
4
6
Vivian
At the fancy dress party
Today, we have a fancy dress party in the
school hall. We are very excited.
I want to be a dancer. I have got long brown
and black hair. I am tall and thin. I have got a
crown. My dress is pink and yellow. I can sing
and dance. I like eat cakes and grapes. I like
to drink pear juice and grapes juice.
Lucy want to be a dancer. She has got long
green hair. She is short and thin. She has got
a ball. Her shirt is orange. She can jump and
play the ball. She like to eat pear and
biscuits. She like to drink apple juice and
cake. Jane want to be a drcider (designer).
She has got long orange hair. She is short
and thin. She has got a picture. Her trousers
are yellow. She can paint a picture and sing.
She like to eat sweets, lemon and grapes.
She like to drink coke, pear juice and lemon
juice.
We play games, eat candies and take photos.
We are very happy.
Learning wall
Referring to the
learning wall during
group discussion
Referring to the
learning wall during
individual writing
Word bank
Discussion among students
Students had discussion on the
following:
The story map
How to describe Tim the lion
The taste of a computer
What the lion ate for the rest of the
week
The ending of the story
What “practical wisdom” have we gained to
enhance students’ writing skills?
• Freeing ourselves from language forms before freeing
the students
• Modelling skills but not merely contents and formats
• Maximizing the input for the students when shifting the
focus from language forms to expression of ideas
• Promoting student learning through school-based
curriculum development but “class-based” adaptation