Getting along across cultures:
cultural values, communication
and conflict styles, face, and
relationship management
Rebecca L. Oxford, Ph.D.
I-TESOL
Oct. 18, 2014
Getting along across cultures
This exciting presentation takes us on a cultural
journey with four main stops.
• Our first stop is the realm of cultural values,
especially those of individualist cultures (for
instance, most of Western Europe and North
America) and collectivist cultures (for
example, most of Asia and South America).
• The second landmark on our journey is
communication styles, which vary drastically
across cultures, resulting in confusions that
are then addressed by different conflict styles.
Getting along across cultures
• Next on our journey we visit the strange and
sometimes amazing phenomenon known as face,
or the honor and respect that a person holds in
the eyes of others. Some cultures prize face
above everything else, while other cultures are
less concerned.
• Our journey then brings us to cross-cultural
relationship management principles, which help
us manage relationship conflicts and forge strong
bonds regardless of cultural differences.
By the close of our journey, we have become
experts on getting along across cultures.
What is the main difference between these two?
What percentage of the world’s cultures fall into each category?
Collectivist vs. Individualist
• Triandis (1995) estimated that 70% of the
world’s cultures are collectivist, and the
other 30% are individualist.
Strongly or Somewhat
Collectivist
(in relation to the world mean of 43)
Guatemala 6; Ecuador 8; Panama 11; Venezuela 12;
Colombia 13; Indonesia and Pakistan 14 (tie); Costa Rica 15;
Peru and Trinidad 16 (tie); Taiwan 17; South Korea 18; El
Salvador 19; Bangladesh, China, Singapore, Thailand,
Vietnam, and West Africa 20 (tied); Chile 23; Hong Kong 25;
Malaysia 26; East Africa and Portugal 27 (tie); Bulgaria,
Mexico, and Romania 30 (tie); Philippines 32; Greece 35;
Arab World and Brazil 38 (tie); Jamaica and Russia 39 (tie)
Hofstede, 2009
Strongly or Somewhat
Individualist
(in relation to the world mean of 43)
United States 91; Australia 90; United Kingdom 89;
Canada, Hungary, and the Netherlands 80 (tie); New
Zealand 79; Italy 76; Belgium 75; and Denmark 74;
France and Sweden 71 (tie); Ireland 70; Norway 69;
Switzerland 68; Germany 67; South Africa 65; Finland
63; Estonia, Luxembourg, and Poland 60 (tie); Malta
59; Czech Republic 58; Austria 55; Israel 54; Spain 51
Hofstede, 2009
Collectivist Cultural Values
• Collectivist cultures focus on the person as part
of a social group.
– Collectivist cultures are comprised of strong,
tight in-groups, such as extended families, in
which people participate from birth.
– These in-groups closely nurture, protect, and
guide their participants, while in return
expecting long-term loyalty from the
participants.
Collectivist Cultural Values
• Group is more important than the individual
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–
–
–
Harmony
Interdependence
Filial piety (deference to elders)
Long-term, cohesive relationships
• Loyalty to and emotional dependence on the group,
which in turn cares for the well-being of the individual
– The well-known Japanese personality trait of amae reflects
an accepted dependence on an older, protective person
– People in highly collectivist cultures seek advice from
elders or others in the in-group before making major
decisions
• Less concern for privacy
Collectivist Cultural Values
• If a given individual seems to garner too much
attention based on excellent performance or
other individual factors, social forces must
restrain him or her (“the nail that stands up
must be hammered down”)
• Credit or blame for a project is attributed to
the group, rather than the individual
– If one member of a team instead of the whole
team receives an honor, this situation can be
humiliating or upsetting to the rest of the team
Some Values And Beliefs
in Many Collectivist Cultures
M AJOR CULTURAL VALUE:
Importance of personal relationships with others in the group
CULTURAL BELIEF ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS:
Mutual care, concern, and support are necessary
CULTURAL BELIEF ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS:
Relationships with people in the group are timeless
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Collectivist Cultural Values
•
•
•
•
Formality and ritual
Fatalism
Priority on personal relationships
Eloquence and indirectness
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Self in Collectivist Cultures
Father
X
Mother
X
X
XX
X
X
Friend
X
X
Self
Sibling
XX X
X
X X
X XX
X
Friend
X
X
X
Coworker
X
X
X
X
Interdependent Self-Construal in Collectivist Cultures
Source: Adapted by Rebecca L. Oxford from Markus and Kitayama (1991)
Individualist Cultural Values
• Individualist cultures center on the
person as a separate, unique individual.
–Individualist cultures focus on the
individual person rather than the
group.
–In individualist cultures,
comparatively loose ties connect
individuals, who are expected to take
care of themselves and their
immediate families.
Individualist Cultural Values
• The individual is independent, unique, and
special
–
–
–
–
Personal rights and needs, such as privacy
Self-reliance, autonomy, and personal responsibility
High competition, less cooperation
Can-do attitude, anything is possible!
• Relationships
– Many interpersonal connections of short duration
– Loose, wide networks among people, unlike the longterm, cohesive relationships found in collectivist
cultures.
Individualist Cultural Values
• Credit or blame for a project is attributed to the
individual, rather than the group
– Individual task completion an d achievement are m ore
important than relationships
• The value of equal opportunity for individuals is
espoused by certain individualist cultures, but these
cultures also promote other values that might
contradict equal opportunity
– Each individual is responsible for finding or creating his or
her own opportunities, e.g., for an education or a career
– If opportunities do not occur, the individual is somehow at
fault for not trying hard enough to find or generate them
Some Values and Beliefs
in Many Individualist Cultures
MAJOR CULTURAL VALUE:
Importance of time
Not the same in
all cultures!
CULTURAL BELIEF ABOUT TIME:
Time is money
CULTURAL BELIEF ABOUT TIME:
Time must be spent wisely (efficiency)
Belief in efficiency
becomes so strong
that it becomes
another CULTURAL
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VALUE
Individualist Cultural Values
Self in Individualist Cultures
Self
Mother
X
XX
X
X
Friend
X X
X
Father
X
X
XX X
X
X X
X XX
Friend
X
X
Sibling
X
X
Coworker
X X
X
Independent Construal of Self =
Image of Self as Independent of Others
Independent Self-Construal in Individualist Cultures
Source: Adapted by Rebecca L. Oxford from Markus and Kitayama (1991)
VALUE CLASH!
• What happens in a situation in which people
from collectivist and individualist cultures
have to work together? How do their values
clash?
• If you were in charge, how could you help
them overcome such a clash?
High-Context Communication
(Collectivist Cultures)
• High-context communication is largely
indirect, with much of the message unsaid
and with many meanings and values implicitly
shared by others in that culture – but not by
outsiders.
High-Context Communication
(Collectivist Cultures)
• Most of the meaning is not communicated
through the words themselves
• Meaning is communicated through . . .
–
–
–
–
–
–
–
facial expression,
posture,
eye contact,
physical context
tone of voice,
status, and
eloquence (Hall, 1976)
High-Context Communication
(Collectivist Cultures)
• Typical high-context communication:
– Eloquent phrases and politeness rituals are expected
– Lots of time given for introductory relationshipbuilding, while simultaneously assessing the social
characteristics of the other party.
– Decisions focus on face-to-face relationships, often
around a central authority figure
– Collaborative solutions to problems, not focused on
the individual
– Many details left out (only implied or metaphorically
stated)
– Disagreement often not stated openly
High-Context Communication
(Collectivist Cultures)
• Based on the idea that truth emerges nonlinearly,
without necessitating consistency or firm logic
• Dialectical thinking, or the acceptance of
cognitive dissonance (presence of simultaneously
incongruous ideas), is more frequent in highcontext communicators than low-context
communicators
• Low-context (individualist) communicators often
become impatient with high-context (collectivist)
communicators or think they are being deceptive
Low-Context Communication
(Individualist Cultures)
• In low-context communication, most of the
information is in the explicit code, i.e., is
openly expressed
– No need for many contextual cues from tradition,
the physical environment, nonverbal behavior,
social status, or family background (Hall, 1976).
• Decisions are largely made on the basis of
facts rather than feelings
• Discussions are expected to lead to action
Low-Context Communication
(Individualist Cultures)
• Key information is “out on the table”
– Facts rather than feelings
– Logical presentation, yes-no thinking
– No patience for extraneous eloquence, lengthy formalities, or
circular arguments!
– Belief that communication should be concise, clear, direct, brief,
orderly (Grice’s principle)
• Often found in legalistic cultures, where knowledge is
transferable, external, codified, public, and accessible (e.g.,
U.S., U.K.)
• Based on the idea that truth is rational
• Low-context communication seems rude,
domineering, aggressive, and unrefined to highcontext communicators
COMMUNICATION CLASH!
• Assume that you are in a group in which there
are high-context and low-context
communicators.
• What are the major conflicts that might
occur?
• How could you help resolve these conflicts?
Different Cultures Use
Different Conflict Styles
Which Cultures (Individualist
or Collectivist) Use Which
Conflict Styles and When?
• Competing
• Collaborating
• Compromising
• Accommodating
• Avoiding
Face
• One of the most frequent and significant
obstacles to positive cross-cultural relations is
losing face or causing others to lose face.
Face
What is face?
• Your self-image based on what others think of you
(and vice versa: their self-image depending on what
you think of them)
– Credibility, honor, or positive image in the eyes of others
– Respectability and/or deference a person or country can
claim from others
• In a word, face = HONOR
• The opposite of face is HUMILIATION or SHAME
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Face
• You can lose face when someone else . . .
–
–
–
–
–
–
–
–
Refuses your invitation
Says something bad about you
Disregards your status
Forces you to give up a cherished value
Forces you to make an unnecessary concession
Knows you have failed to achieve goals
Reveals your personal inadequacy
Attacks a valued relationship
• Someone else loses face when you do these things to
him or her
• This can be done at the level of groups or nations
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Face in Collectivist Cultures
• Face in collectivist, high-context cultures (Africa,
Far East, Middle East, Latin America):
– Morality is often related to group shame (or individual
shame in reference to the group)
– Honor is very important
– Shame is directly tied to face
– Maintaining face or honor is a key to life
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Face in Collectivist Cultures
• In collectivist cultures, face plays a more
prominent role than it does in individualist
cultures (Ting-Toomey, 2005).
• In fact, maintaining face or honor is a key to
understanding collectivist cultures, which
typically possess tight social hierarchies,
emphasize shame, and link face to morality.
Face-Threatening Actions in
Collectivist Cultures
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Doing anything that harms the group mission or group solidarity
Not following relevant gender-related customs
Using gestures that are offensive
Dressing unacceptably
Losing temper in public
Not using the appropriate greetings (words, handshake style,
etc.)
Not learning customs for gifts or hospitality
Constantly rejecting dinner invitations
Not showing gratitude for hospitality
Saying negative things about people
Being overly direct
Making fun of men holding hands in certain collectivist cultures
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Face in Individualist Cultures
• Face in individualist, low-context cultures (U.S., many other
Western cultures):
– Morality is related to individual, personal guilt, not shame
– You can lose face through doing something that makes you feel
guilty, like performing poorly in a game
LOSS OF FACE IN A GAME SITUATION 
– Face is usually less personally important than in high-context
cultures, though it arises sometimes
– When dealing internationally, face remains important to individualist
cultures!
– Individualist leaders do not want to lose face or have their countries
lose face
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Face in Individualist Cultures
• Self-face orientation is more prevalent in individualist cultures.
Oetzel and Ting-Toomey (2003) found that a concern about
maintaining one’s own face was associated positively with the
dominating conflict style, which is often attributed to individualist
cultures.
• During a conflict, people from individualist cultures frequently
maintain their own face through directness, with the goal of
winning (Culpach & Metts, 1994).
• Very high levels of directness can result in acts that are perceived
by people from collectivist cultures as face-threatening
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–
–
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asking too many personal questions,
being too demanding,
stating feelings in a too-direct way
giving brutally honest feedback that might undermine others’ dignity.
Face in Individualist Cultures
• After a conflict emerges, people from
individualist cultures frequently use
restorative self-face strategies, such as
excuses, justifications, apologies, humor,
direct aggression, and passive aggression (see
Brown, 1977; Culpach & Metts, 1994).
For Preventing or Managing
Conflicts . . .
• Collectivist and individualist cultures need to
understand the others’ cultural values
• Clashes are not just about politics and power;
they are often about cultural values
• Reach out to the other culture while honoring
that culture’s values as much as possible
For Preventing or Managing
Conflicts . . .
• High-context and low-context
communicators need to understand
each other
• Communication style is important
• Reach out to another culture using
that culture’s communication style as
much as possible, including during
negotiations
For Preventing or Managing
Conflicts . . .
Use cognitive empathy across cultures
Cognitive empathy is an interpretation in
which you intentionally try to see a situation, action,
or person through the eyes of another culture. When
did you use cognitive empathy most recently?
For Preventing or Managing
Conflicts . . .
• Become an informal “cultural
anthropologist”
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Find a trustworthy cultural informant
Observe cultural dimensions in action
Ask to hear stories and myths
Take notes
Have informal conversations about
the culture
– Ask yourself “What do I need to understand?
– Read everything you can!
– Have you been an informal cultural anthropologist?
A headman
from Zambia
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For Preventing or Managing
Conflicts . . .
• Go beyond first impressions/prejudgments
by reframing
– Reframing helps you avoid getting stuck
with quick, inaccurate conclusions
– Reframing helps you alter stereotypes
• We all have stereotypes (Lewis, 1999), but we do not have to keep
them forever
– Reframe the picture as you get new information
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For Preventing or Managing
Conflicts . . .
• Listen well to others
• Understand different conflict styles and use the
most effective one for the situation; be flexible
• Avoid losing face and causing other individuals or
cultural groups to lose face (use the appropriate
facework strategy)
• Other suggestions:
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