Jeanne Oberdan, MS, LMFT
April 3, 2013
Jeanne Oberdan, MS, LMFT
Children’s Therapy Coordinator
Mission
ALIVE's mission is to provide counseling, emergency sanctuary and other critical
services to adults and children impacted by domestic abuse, as well as to increase
awareness in order to create a supportive community.
Vision
ALIVE's vision is to end domestic abuse,
restoring safety and peace one family at a time.
Our Services
24 Hour Crisis Line:




(314) 993-2777
Nights of Safety
Individual Adult Counseling
Support Groups
Children’s Treatment Program
www. alivestl.org
Court Advocacy
 Emergency Transportation
 Education and Training
 Social and Special Services

Office For Victims of Crime




Regression-wetting the bed, thumb sucking,
speech, refusing to feed and dress self.
Dependency-unable to fall asleep, makes
decisions or complete a simple task alone.
Fear of separation-have parent leave an
important belonging with them until they
return. Give permission to have sep
anxiety/telephone contact/ice cream cone
countdown/security items/photos/notes.
Sleep Disturbances

Not wanting to talk

Missing dad/Asking about dad

Classic Kid in the middle

Safety planning -Calling 9-1-1 or not, other
actions kids can do to be safe

Issue of authority figure vs. authority figure

Guilt

Best to have a trusted adult to call

Depends on age

Violence assessment – formal vs. informal

Adult and Children

Depends on who is assessing

Assessing trauma different than violence-TSI
& TSCC

INFORMAL

Something Is Wrong at My House by Diane
Davis
Mommy and Daddy are Fighting by Susan
Paris
 FORMAL

UCLA and TSCC


----My parents have terrible fights


____Yelling and shouting


____Pushing, hitting, kicking, and even throwing things


____It scares me when they fight


____I don’t know what to do when they fight

----I am scared of not knowing what is going to happen next when they fight


____I’m afraid I will get hurt when they fight


____I feel all alone when they fight


____I am scared if I tell somebody I might get in trouble















____I am scared if I tell somebody no one will believe me
____I also feel mixed up when they fight
____I am worried that the fighting starts because of me
____I get so scared sometimes I have bad dreams
____Being afraid makes me want to run and hide
____Being afraid makes me want to grow up fast so I can protect
my mom and sibling(s)
____Sometimes I feel mad when they fight
____When I’m mad I feel like hitting and being mean

____Sometimes I have trouble at school


____Sometimes I feel like fighting with my friends


____Sometimes I talk back to my teacher


____I don’t feel like having fun like other kids


____I get quiet and stay away from people


____Sometimes I feel sad and cry a lot

www.cdc.gov/ncipc/pubres/images/ipvandsvscreening.pdf

ACOG-The American Congress of Obstetricians
and Gynecologist

HITS

Tolman assessment used by M.A.R.C.H.
Mediation

Lethality Assessment by Jacqueline Campbell
1.
2.
3.
Within the past year -- or since you have
been pregnant -- have you been hit,
slapped, kicked or otherwise physically hurt
by someone?
Are you in a relationship with a person who
threatens or physically hurts you?
Has anyone forced you to have sexual
activities that made you feel
uncomfortable?"

How often does your partner?

1. Physically hurt you

2. Insult or talk down to you

3. Threaten you with harm

4. Scream or curse at you
1.
2.
3.
4.
Are you fearful of the other parent for any
reason?
Has the other parent ever threatened to hurt
you in any way?
Has the other parent ever hit you or used
any other types of physical force towards
you?
Have you ever called the police, requested
an order of protection, or sought help for
yourself because of abuse by the other
parent?
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
Are you currently afraid that the other parent will
physically harm you?
Do you believe you would be able to
communicate with the other parent on an equal
basis in mediation?
Has the other parent ever threatened to deny you
access to your children?
Do you have any concerns about the child(ren)’s
emotional or physical safety with you or the other
parent?
Has the department of family services ever been
involved with your family?










DANGER ASSESSMENT
Jacquelyn C. Campbell, Ph.D., R.N.
Copyright, 2003; www.dangerassessment.com
1. Slapping, pushing; no injuries and/or lasting pain
2. Punching, kicking; bruises,
cuts, and/or continuing pain
3. "Beating up"; severe contusions, burns, broken bones
4. Threat to use weapon; head injury, internal injury,
permanent injury
5. Use of weapon; wounds from weapon (If any of the
descriptions for the higher
number apply, use the higher number.)











1. Has the physical violence increased in severity or frequency
over the past year?
____ 2. Does he own a gun?
____ 3. Have you left him after living together during the past
year?
3a. (If have never lived with him, check here___)
____ 4. Is he unemployed?
____ 5. Has he ever used a weapon against you or threatened you
with a lethal weapon? (If yes, was the weapon a gun?____)
____ 6. Does he threaten to kill you?
____ 7. Has he avoided being arrested for domestic violence?
____ 8. Do you have a child that is not his?
____ 9. Has he ever forced you to have sex when you did not wish
to do so?
____ 10. Does he ever try to choke you?


















11. Does he use illegal drugs? By drugs, I mean "uppers" or amphetamines, “meth”, speed,
angel dust, cocaine, "crack", street drugs or mixtures.
____ 12. Is he an alcoholic or problem drinker?
____ 13. Does he control most or all of your daily activities? For instance: does he tell you who
you can be friends with, when you can see
your family, how much money you can use,
or when you can take the car? (If he tries, but you do not let him, check here: ____)
____ 14. Is he violently and constantly jealous of you? (For instance, does he say "If I can't have
you, no one can.")
____ 15. Have you ever been beaten by him while you were pregnant? (If you have never been
pregnant by him, check here: ____)
____ 16. Has he ever threatened or tried to commit suicide?
____ 17. Does he threaten to harm your children?
____ 18. Do you believe he is capable of killing you?
____ 19. Does he follow or spy on you, leave threatening notes or messages, destroy your
property, or call you when you don’t want him to?
_____ 20. Have you ever threatened or tried to commit suicide?
_____ Total "Yes" Answers

Eddie DVD

DV Specific Books

Generic Counseling Books

Divorce Books
Courtesy of
Illinois Violence Prevention Authority,
Illinois Safe From the Start





Mommy and Daddy are Fighting by Susan
Paris
A Family That Fights by Sharon Chesler
Bernstein
Something Is Wrong at My House by Diane
Davis
A Safe Place to Live by Michelle A. Harrison
Don’t Be Menace on Sundays! by Adolph
Moser


A Terrible Thing Happened by Margaret M.
Holmes
Brave Bart by Caroline H. Sheppard, ACSW







Escape Route/Don’t fight in the
kitchen/Fight in rooms with exits
Have a room in the house with a strong lock
and a phone
Hide a bag with important papers , clothes,
meds, spare keys, addresses, etc.
2nd set of keys
Neighbors /911
Records of injuries
Do not tell the abuser of plan for leaving







Staying at home/ telling the abuser to leave
Staying in home till woman is ready to leave
Leaving the home: own apt, family/friends,
shelter
Getting an Order of Protection
Ind/Group Counseling
Calling ALIVE Hotline 314.993.2777
Calling 911 when in danger




71% of pet-owning women entering women’s shelters
reported that their batterer had injured, maimed, killed or
threatened family pets for revenge or to psychologically
control victims; 32% reported their children had hurt or
killed animals.
68% of battered women reported violence towards their
animals. 87% of these incidents occurred in the presence
of the women, and 75% in the presence of the children, to
psychologically control and coerce them.
13% of intentional animal abuse cases involve domestic
violence.
Between 25% and 40% of battered women are unable to
escape abusive situations because they worry about what
will happen to their pets or livestock should they leave.
National Coalition Against Domestic Violence


Pets may suffer unexplained injuries, health
problems, permanent disabilities at the hands of
abusers, or disappear from home.
Abusers kill, harm, or threaten children’s pets to
coerce them into sexual abuse or to force them
to remain silent about abuse. Disturbed children
kill or harm animals to emulate their parents’
conduct, to prevent the abuser from killing the
pet, or to take out their aggressions on another
victim.
National Coalition Against Domestic Violence




In one study, 70% of animal abusers also had records for
other crimes. Domestic violence victims whose animals
were abused saw the animal cruelty as one more violent
episode in a long history of indiscriminate violence aimed
at them and their vulnerability.
Investigation of animal abuse is often the first point of
social services intervention for a family in trouble.
For many battered women, pets are sources of comfort
providing strong emotional support: 98% of Americans
consider pets to be companions or members of the
family.
Animal cruelty problems are people problems. When
animals are abused, people are at risk.
National Coalition Against Domestic Violence




Add questions about the presence of pets and
their welfare to shelter intake questionnaires and
risk assessments.
Work with animal shelters, veterinarians, and
rescue groups to establish “safe haven” foster
care programs for the animal victims of domestic
violence; some women’s shelters are building
kennels at their facilities.
Include provisions for pets in safety planning
strategies.
Help your clients to prove ownership of their
animals.
National Coalition Against Domestic Violence




Help victims to retrieve animals left behind.
Include animals in abuse prevention orders.
Help victims find pet-friendly transitional and
permanent housing.
When victims can no longer care for their
pets, make referrals to animal adoption
agencies.
National Coalition Against Domestic Violence



While substance abuse does not cause
domestic violence, there is a statistical
correlation between the two issues.
Studies of domestic violence frequently
indicate high rates of alcohol and other drug
use by
perpetrators during abuse.
Not only do batterers tend to abuse drugs
and alcohol, but domestic violence also
increases the probability that victims will use
alcohol and drugs to cope with abuse. NCADV
Children of substance abusing parents are
more likely to experience physical, sexual, or
emotional abuse than children in
nonsubstance abusing households.
 A survey of public child welfare agencies
conducted by the National Committee to
Prevent Child Abuse found that as many as
80% of child abuse cases are associated with
the use of alcohol and other drugs.
NCADV

The issues of domestic violence and
substance abuse can interact with and
exacerbate each other and should be treated
simultaneously.
In 2002, the Department of Justice found
that 36% of victims in domestic violence
programs also had substance abuse
problems.
NCADV
Children who have experienced family
violence are at greater risk for alcohol and
other drug problems later in life than children
who do not experience family violence.

Evidence suggests that children who run away
from violent homes are at risk of substance
abuse.

NCADV
According to the Missouri Coalition Against
Domestic and Sexual Violence…
This is OUR community:


In Missouri, 43,370 adults, youth and children received
domestic violence services
 16,876 Interactions with Children in Groups


84,296 crisis calls were answered in 2011
8,529 Individual Interactions with Children
19,000 individuals turned away because a shelter was full was 2011

Nearly 16,747 Individuals assisted with Orders of Protection in
Missouri in 2011.
Nat’l Domestic Abuse Hotline 1-800-799-7233
Child Abuse Hotline 1-800-392-3738
A.L.I.V.E.
24/7 Crisis Hotline: (314) 993-2777