Elaboration 2015

As we go along, please copy the information in blue
onto your writing notes.
What is elaboration?
Telling the reader more by using
specific words, extensions (phrases
and clauses), onion-like layering, or
specific strategies.
Showing rather than telling.
Types of Elaboration
Used in the “dot ( )” of a t-chart
Most Important Type of Elaboration
 Evidence: (use formula TLQ)
T: Transition,
L: lead in (according to…),
Q: quote (text based evidence)
 Commentary: facts, anecdotes, definitions,
examples and details (5 sensory images) used
to support the essay topic.
Other types of…
As we go along, please copy the
“definition” of each strategy next to
the term given in your writing notes
(focus on the blue text).
Somewhere on your page of notes,
please add this:
 F: Facts
 A: Anecdotes
 D: Definitions
 E: Evidence examples
 5: Use of Sensory (sight, sound,
smell, taste and touch)
TRUE Facts and TRUE statistics
Text based evidence and
 Cannot be
fake (must be real)
RESEARCH BASED (cite your sources)
Fact Example: Add what is needed
to your example paragraph.
 A recent magazine article that I read,
The Truth about Smoking, written by Dr.
Paul Reskin stated: “Almost a quarter of
high school students are smokers by the
time they graduate. And roughly one third
of all teenage smokers will eventually have a
smoking related disease.”
(self-story: STORY ABOUT “ME”)
Short “self” personal story
 Make
it interesting about “me”
 The only time writing could be
fake (why? Because we won’t
know if it is really true or not)
Anecdote Example:
 I even remember a time when there
were so many people jam-packed in the
hall, that a friend of mine got pushed
down and hurt her hand. Another time
I was almost hit in the face by a door
because there was nowhere to move out
of the way.
Are restatements of unfamiliar
words or phrases to tell what
they mean.
 Can
use a dictionary – make sure
to write as a sentence
 Or if it is something only you
know about, you define it.
Definition example
 In my sport, soccer, a select team
practices year round and competes in
tournaments all over the region. You
must try out to be on a select team,
meaning it is made up of only the
best, most premier players.
Provide specific information
about an idea
 Common
transition words to use:for
example, for instance
 Demonstrates what you
 Can also be “text based evidence”
For Example
For example, he constantly goes
through my video games without
permission and never puts them
away, leaving them spread out like
litter on the floor. Also, he bites
me for no reason leaving deep
puncture marks.
5 Senses: Descriptions using
Are ways to create vivid images
for the reader (5 senses).
 Paints a
picture in our head
 Think imagery
 Sight, sound, smell, taste,
Description Example
 The coffee hung on his breath like fog
on a Seattle morning, that burnt rubber
smell burnt my nostrils and tickled my
taste buds all at the same time.
 F: Facts
 A: Anecdotes
 D: Definitions
 E: Evidence examples
 5: Use of Sensory (sight, sound,
smell, taste and touch)
Text Based Evidence Elaboration
 At the bottom of your elaboration notes, please add
the following information.
 Text based evidence, requires the authors name,
article title and the evidence from the text.
 This could be used in the “F” or the “E” of your
Text Based Evidence Elaboration:
Copy onto your notes please.
Oliver Stone, in “Where I Find My Heroes,” explains that
heroes are everyday, common people, and most of what
they do goes unheralded, unappreciated and not
My Own Example:
It always rains in Seattle…
Now you write elaborations for the
prompt above. Be unique.
Be ready to share one tomorrow.
Evidence Example:
 Komo4 News provides great weather
reports, but I can imagine they get
bored always saying, “It always rains in