Redundancy and Wordiness
in Writing
Some Famous or Infamous Examples of Redundancy
"I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply
with the law."
- David Dinkins, New York City Mayor, answering accusations
that he failed to pay his taxes.
"We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees."
- Jason Kidd, upon his drafting to the Dallas Mavericks
"China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese."
- Former French President Charles De Gaulle
"I'm for abolishing and doing away with redundancy."
- J. Curtis McKay of the Wisconsin State Elections Board
A little advice from our friend, William Strunk Jr.,
author of Elements of Style
Vigorous writing is concise. A sentence should
contain no unnecessary words, a paragraph no
unnecessary sentences, for the same reason
that a drawing should have no unnecessary
lines and a machine no unnecessary parts.
This requires not that the writer make all his
sentences short, or that he avoid all detail and
treat his subjects only in outline, but that every
word tell.
Shaking the Redundancy
Eliminate Unnecessary Adverbs
Really, Very, Quite, Extremely, Severely, Truly
John has been quite ill for a really long time.
John has been ill for a long time.
Eliminate or Replace Meaningless Adjectives
Good, Nice, Bad, Okay, Important, Significant
Suzy is a good teacher who makes a significant
impact on her students and faculty.
Suzy is a talented teacher who makes an impact on
her students and faculty.
Trimming the Fat
Before
After
At the present time
Now
Due to the fact that
Because
12 midnight
Midnight
In my opinion, I believe
I believe
Trimming the Fat
(Cont.)
Before
After
In the event that
If
In spite of the fact that
Although
In the vicinity of
Near
Until such time as
Until
Writing Concise Sentences
Examples:
All things considered, it seems like the new tax
cut imposed by the administration will without a
doubt make the wealthy wealthier and the poor
poorer. When the administration’s new tax cut is
passed, the children living in poverty will be affected
the worst.
The new tax cut imposed by the administration
will undoubtedly make the wealthy wealthier and
the poor poorer. Consequently, children living in
poverty will be severely affected.
Avoid Expletive Constructions
There is/are it is
There are over three thousand students attending
College of the Siskiyous. It is these students who
pay the salaries of the teachers.
Over three thousand students attend College of
the Siskiyous. These students pay the teachers’
salaries.
Using these phrases will put your reader to…
How many times do I have to repeat myself???
Michael Jordan was the best basketball
player ever. Jordan was slam dunk master.
Basketball star Michael Jordan was the best
basketball player ever and slam dunk
master.
John found the job to be easy, and Jen also
thought it was simple. Mike completed the
job without difficulty too.
John, Jen, and Mike found the job to be
easy.
The
End!