The Self Arises in
Communication with Others
Self-fulfilling prophecies involve
acting in ways that bring
about our expectations or
judgments of ourselves.
The Self Arises in
Communication with Others
• Communication with family



Direct definition is communication that
explicitly tells us who we are by labeling us
and our behaviors.
Identity scripts are guides for living that
define our roles and how we are to play them.
Attachment styles are patterns of parenting
that tell children who they are, who others are,
and how to approach relationships.
Attachment Styles
• A secure style occurs when the caregiver
responds in a consistently attentive and loving
way.
• A fearful style is cultivated when the caregiver
in the first bond communicates in negative,
rejecting, or abusive ways to the child.
• A dismissive style is promoted by caregivers
who are disinterested, rejecting, or abusive.
• The anxious/resistant style is inconsistent
treatment from the caregiver.
Views of Self
Positive
Negative
Views of Others
Positive
Negative
Secure
Anxious/
Resistant
Dismissive
Fearful
The Self Arises in
Communication with Others
• Communication with peers


Reflected appraisal refers to the idea that we
reflect the appraisals that others make of us.
Social comparison involves comparing ourselves
with others to form judgments of our own talents,
abilities, and qualities.
Influences on Self-Concept
Direct
Definitions
Identity
Scripts
Attachment
Styles
Reflected
Appraisals
Influences on Self-Concept
Direct
Definitions
Identity
Scripts
Self-Concept
Attachment
Styles
Reflected
Appraisals
The Self Arises in
Communication with Others
• Communication with society

The perspectives of society (generalized other)
are revealed to us in two ways:
• Through interactions with others who have
internalized cultural values and pass them
on to us
• Through media and social institutions such
as judicial and educational systems
The self arises in
communication and is a
multidimensional process that
involves importing and acting
from social perspectives.
The Self is Multidimensional
• There are many dimensions to self:
Physical
 Cognitive
 Emotional
 Social roles
 Sense of morality

The Self is a Process
• We are not born with selves but acquire
them. We change again and again during
life. We are self renewing and ever
growing.

Ego boundaries define where an individual
stops and the rest of the world begins.
• Babies literally have no ego boundaries.
The Self Internalizes
Social Perspectives
• We rely on social perspectives to define
ourselves and to guide how we think, act,
and feel.


Particular others are specific individuals who
are significant to us.
The generalized other is the collection of rules,
roles, and attitudes endorsed by the whole social
community in which we live.
Social Perspectives on the Self
are Constructed and Variable
• Social perspectives are constructed in
particular cultures at specific times.
• The constructed and arbitrary nature of
social values differs from culture to culture.
• Just as our culture shapes us, so we shape
our culture.

Each of us has the responsibility to speak out
against social perspectives that we perceive as
wrong or harmful.
Guidelines for
Improving Self-Concept
• Make a firm commitment to change.
• Gain knowledge as a basis for change.
• Set goals that are realistic and fair.
Guidelines for
Improving Self-Concept
• Create a context that supports change.


Uppers are people who communicate positively
about us and who reflect positive appraisals of
our self-worth.
Downers are people who communicate
negatively about us and our self-worth.
• Vultures are an extreme form of downers.

Self-sabotage involves telling ourselves we are
no good, we can’t do something, there is no
point, etc.
Experiencing Communication
in our Lives . . .
View the following video clip and then
answer the questions that follow based
on material presented in this chapter.
A script of the scenario can be found at
the end of Chapter 3.
1. Identify examples of direct definition in this
scenario.
2. Identify examples of reflected appraisal. What
appraisals of her son and daughter does Kate
reflect to them?
3. What do Emma and Jeremy’s responses to Kate
suggest about their acceptance of her views of
them?
4. To what extent does Kate’s communication with
her children reflect gender expectations in
Western culture?
You may go to your student CD that accompanies the text to
compare your answers to Julia Wood’s.