Elaboration: Strategic Teaching
To Improve Student Writing in
Elementary Grades (3-5)
OSPI Elementary Instructional Support Materials for Writing
These materials were developed by Washington teachers to help
students improve their writing.
Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
To the Teacher



Slides 1-11 are for teacher use. They include alignment with the GLEs,
links to the WASL, and purpose of the units. Thereafter, the slides are
meant for the students. The teacher directions are in the notes. You
must download this document to print notes.
To use any unit, you must print and review the notes pages for the unit.
This is done in the print menu. It is different for PCs and Macs, but you
will need to find “Notes Pages” or “Notes” respectively in the print
menu.The notes pages contain crucial instructions and supplementary
materials for successful implementation.
Most of these units include partner and/or group work. A system needs
to be in place for partner and group work (e.g., what are the rules and
expectations). Units in these modules need to have extended practice.
They are not meant to be individual, one day lessons.
Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
OSPI Writing Instructional Support Materials
Core Development Team
Nikki Elliott-Schuman – OSPI, Project Director
Charlotte Carr – Retired Seattle SD, Facilitator
Tanya Cicero – Auburn SD
Lydia-Laquatra Fesler – Spokane SD
Sharon Schilperoort – OSPI, Writing Assessment TOSA
Cec Carmack – Selah SD
Nancy Spane – Puyallup SD
Karen Kearns – Seattle SD
Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
Purpose
•
•
To share teaching strategies that will help
students develop writing that elaborates on
a single idea and addresses the needs and
interests of a particular audience.
Elaboration is critical for clear and effective
writing.
Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
Link to the WASL
•
•
•
The quality of elaboration is directly related to
scores on the Content, Organization, and Style
portion of the Writing WASL. The best writing has
multiple layers of relevant elaboration.
When WASL papers were analyzed, specific
layered elaboration was the most critical element
that differentiated between scores of “2” and “3”
and scores of “3” and “4.”
Thoughtful elaboration is guided by the needs of
the audience. Top scoring WASL papers show
clear audience awareness.
Source: WASL scoring team, OSPI Standards Review Committee report
Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
Alignment with GLEs - Writing
EALR 3. The student writes clearly and effectively.
Component 3.1.1 Develops ideas and organizes writing. GLE 3.1.1
from 3.1.1 - 3rd Grade
from 3.1.1 - 4th Grade
Analyzes ideas, selects topic, adds
detail, and elaborates.
Analyzes ideas, selects a narrow topic,
and elaborates using specific details
 Selects from a wide range of topics (e.g.,
friendship, volcanoes).
 Maintains focus on specific topic.
 Provides details and/or support (e.g.,
examples, descriptions, reasons).
 Uses personal experience and
observation to support ideas.
 Develops characters, setting, and events
in narratives.
 Selects appropriate title for a piece of
writing.
from 3.1.1 - 5th Grade
and/or examples.
Analyzes ideas, selects a narrow
topic, and elaborates using specific
details and/or example.
 Narrows topic (e.g., from general topic,
such as “pets,” to specific topic, such as
“My dog is smart.”).
 Selects details relevant to the topic to
elaborate (e.g., adds detail to each main
point using more than one sentence;
uses specific words and phrases,
reasons, anecdotes, facts, descriptions,
and examples).
 Uses personal experiences,
observations, and/or research to support
opinions and ideas (e.g., collects,
organizes, and uses data to support
conclusions in math, science, or social
studies).
 Develops character, setting, and events
within plot when writing a narrative.
 Narrows topic with controlling idea (e.g.,
from general topic, such as baseball, to
specific topic, such as “The Mariners are
my favorite baseball team.”).Selects
details relevant to the topic to extend
ideas and develop elaboration (e.g.,
specific words and phrases, reasons,
anecdotes, facts, descriptions, examples).
 Uses personal experiences, observations,
and research to support opinions and
ideas (e.g., data relevant to the topic to
support conclusions in math, science, or
social studies; appropriate anecdotes to
explain or persuade).
 Varies method of developing character
(e.g., dialogue) and setting (e.g., through
the eyes of a character) in narratives.
Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
Alignment with GLEs – Writing
continued
EALR 3. The student writes clearly and effectively.
Component 3.2 Uses appropriate style. GLE 3.2.2
3.2.2 - 3rd grade
3.2.2 - 4th grade
3.2.2 - 5th grade
Uses language appropriate for a
specific audience and purpose.
 Selects specific words (e.g.,
hollered vs. said) and
specialized vocabulary (e.g.,
transparent vs. clear).
 Selects interesting and effective
words from various sources
(e.g., multicultural literature,
television, environmental print,
cultural background).
 Uses literary devices (e.g.,
onomatopoeia, alliteration).
Uses language appropriate for a
specific audience and purpose.
Uses language appropriate for a
specific audience and purpose.
 Uses precise words (e.g., vivid
verbs — screeched, hovered,
absorbed; specific nouns — granite,
longhouse, cedar).
 Uses specialized vocabulary in
informational writing (e.g.,
tessellate, parallelogram, butte,
carbohydrate).
 Uses literary and sound devices
(e.g., similes, personification,
alliteration).
 Uses precise language (e.g., powerful
verbs, specific descriptors).
 Uses formal, informal, and specialized
language (e.g., photosynthesis, ratio,
expedition) appropriate for audience
and purpose.
 Uses literary and sound devices (e.g.,
similes, personification, rhythm).
 Selects words for effect.
Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
Alignment with GLEs
Across the Curriculum
Reading
2.2.1 Understands sequence in informational/expository text and
literary/narrative text. (3rd/4th)
2.2.1 Applies understanding to time, order, and/or sequence to
comprehend text. (5th)
2.2.3 Understands story elements. (3rd)
2.2.3 Understands and analyzes story elements. (4th/5th)
2.4.5 Understands how to generalize from a text. (3rd/4th)
2.4.5 Understands how to extend information beyond the text to
another text or to a broader idea or concept by generalizing.
(5th)
Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
Alignment with GLEs
Across the Curriculum
Math
2.1.1 - Analyzes a situation to
define a problem.
3.1.1 - Analyzes information
presented in familiar
situations.
3.2.2 - Applies the skills of
drawing conclusions
and supports the
conclusions with
evidence.
Science
2.1.3 - Understands how to
conduct a reasonable
explanation using
evidence.
2.1.5 - Understands how to
report investigations and
explanations of objects,
events, systems, and
processes.
3.1.3 - Analyzes how well a
design or a product
solves a problem.
Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
Bibliography
•
•
•
•
•
•
Calkins, L. Units of Study for Teaching Writing, Grades 3-5,
Heinemann, 2006.
Gere, A., Christenbury, L., Sassi, K. Writing on Demand, Heinemann,
2005.
Graves, D. A Fresh Look at Writing, Heinemann, 1998.
Routman, R. Writing Essentials, Heinemann, 2005.
Zemelman, S., Daniels, H., Hyde, A. Best Practice: New Standards
for Teaching and Learning in America’s Schools, Third edition,
Heinemann, 2005.
OSPI website www.k12.wa.us/assessment/WASL/WritingAssessment.aspx
Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
Elaboration Units
Table of Contents
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
Defining Elaboration
Using Questions to Elaborate
Using Precise Language to Elaborate
Using Reasons to Elaborate
Using Examples to Elaborate
Using Definitions to Elaborate
Using Description to Elaborate
Using Anecdotes to Elaborate
Layering vs. Listing
Show, Don't Tell
Recognizing Elaboration
Criteria for Assessment
Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
DEFINING ELABORATION
Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
Students respond with…
“Tell me more!”
Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
Definition of Elaboration
Elaboration means to tell the reader more about
an idea using
• Answers to a reader’s questions
• Specific words
• Onion-like layering of detail
• Specific strategies, such as reasons,
examples, definitions, descriptions, and
anecdotes
Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
To elaborate, you need to…
Dig,
Dig,
Dig!
Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
Elaboration – example one
This paragraph has little elaboration.
These are the things you need to know
about being in fourth grade.
First the work will be a lot harder. You
will have to name solids and do lots of
math work. Next you will have to do
writing assignments.
Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
Elaboration – example two
This paragraph has interesting
elaboration.
I want to tell you about what type of
projects you’ll have to do. Two things are
dissecting a salmon and an owl pellet.
An owl pellet is mostly like a fur ball. It’s
something an owl chokes up after eating
a large meal. You get my drift?
Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
Using Questions to Elaborate
Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
Questions the Audience (Reader)
Might Ask
All kids have problems.
What problems?
Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
Questions the Audience (Reader)
Might Ask
All kids have problems. For example, kids
don’t always get what they want.
Hmmm . . .what do
kids want?
Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
Questions the Audience (Reader)
Might Ask
Kids have problems. For example,
kids don’t always get what they want,
like staying up late.
Oh…now I understand. Kids
want to stay up late. Why is
that a problem?
Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
Using Questions for Elaboration
Think of ways to answer the question,
“Why is not being able to stay up as late
as you want a problem for you?” Discuss
with a partner possible answers.
Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
Reader’s Questions
Did this writer answer the reader’s
questions?
I have nice friends. They make me laugh and they
teach me things at recess. My friends are Jay, Emily,
Ann, and Andy. They taught me how to do tricks on
the bars.
Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
Questions Asked by the Writer
I have nice friends.
What makes them nice?
They make me laugh and they teach me
things at recess.
Who are your friends and what do they
teach you?
My friends are Jay, Emily, Ann, and Andy. They
taught me how to do tricks on the bars.
Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
Reader’s Questions
Did this writer answer the reader’s
questions?
When I learned how to roller skate, I was only five
years old. My mom taught me how to roller skate,
but she kept on falling down. Soon I was the best
roller skater in my family. And when I went on a field
trip in second grade to Roller Valley, almost everyone
was falling down.
Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
Questions Not Answered by
the Writer
When I learned how to roller skate, I was only
five years old. My mom taught me how to roller
skate, but she kept on falling down.
Then how did you learn?
Soon I was the best roller skater in my family.
So how did this happen?
And when I went on a field trip in second grade to
Roller Valley, almost everyone was falling down.
What does this have to do with learning?
How does it tie to your learning to skate?
Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
Reader’s Questions
I like it when it rains.

Let’s finish writing this paragraph
together by thinking about what the
reader would ask and answering the
reader’s questions.
Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
Reader’s Questions
I like when it snows.
You are now going to get a chance to
finish writing this paragraph with a
partner. Think about what the reader
would ask and then answer the
reader’s questions.
Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
Using Questions for Elaboration
– your turn
_____ makes a good pet.
•
Using this statement, think about what questions
the audience might ask.
•
Write several sentences that elaborate and
answer the questions you think the audience
might ask.
Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
Using Precise Language to
Elaborate

In order to select precise words, we
need to broaden our vocabulary. We
need to have lots of words from which
we can choose. We need specific
nouns, verbs, and adjectives.
Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
Using Precise Language
to Elaborate
When we write, we need to select words
that are related to the topic and tell
EXACTLY what we mean.
General
Precise
We had fun
this weekend.
On Saturday, Manuel, Sue,
and I had a blast bike riding
down Main Street. Afterward,
we stopped for ice cream.
Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
Using Precise Language
to Elaborate
If you were going to write about
basketball, there would be many precise
words that you might use, such as foul,
court, hoop.
Brainstorm more words you might use
to write about basketball.
Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
Using Precise Language
to Elaborate
Choose your own topic from these:
soccer, drawing, school lunch,
playground games
•
•
With a partner make a list of precise words
that you might use to write about the topic
you chose.
Find another student pair who chose the
same topic and combine your lists.
Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
Alphabetic Taxonomies
Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
Using Precise Language
to Elaborate

Work with a partner for 5 minutes to
make a list of words that mean “to
get from one place to another.” For
example, I walk. What other words
can you find? How many can you
find?
Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
Using Precise Language
to Elaborate
•
•
•
Look at the example below.
Help me underline words that are not precise.
Let’s substitute with more precise language.
We can go to the game room and play video
games. We can play two player games. We
can play up to four player games. There are
tons and tons of games there.
Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
Using Precise Language
to Elaborate – your turn
•
•
•
•
Read the example below.
Think about words that are not precise.
Rewrite the paragraph using more precise
language.
Remember to think about questions your
audience might ask.
You can learn. You can learn stuff that you
didn’t know about. You can learn about
dinosaurs. The science center is awesome.
Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
Using Reasons to Elaborate

REASONS – are pieces of information
that help support your idea.
I think the class
should go to the
Pacific Science
Center because you
can learn and have
fun at the same time.
Smoking is bad for
you. Kids who
smoke at an early
age are prone to
heart attacks later in
life.
Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
Idea that May Need a Reason
My dog is important to me. Our
neighbors sometimes call him Clifford.
(One question the reader might ask is
“Why do they call him Clifford?)
Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
Using Reasons to Elaborate
My dog is important to me. Our
neighbors sometimes call him
Clifford because he keeps
growing and growing and
growing. He’s still a puppy, but
he’s a big one.
He’s almost 40 pounds.
Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
Using Reasons to Elaborate
It’s important to have friends.
•
•
Think of some reasons that we value
friends.
Let’s write some reasons together.
Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
Using Reasons to Elaborate –
your turn
It’s important to have friends.
•
•
•
•
Brainstorm a list of possible reasons.
Write about what makes your friends
important to you.
Answer questions your audience might
ask.
Use precise language.
Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
Using Examples to Elaborate

EXAMPLES – provide more specific
information about an idea. This sounds
like. . .
The dogs were all
acting like they were
crazy. For example,
one jumped…
Last week we had all
kinds of weather like
rain, wind, snow, and
sleet.
I love to do tricks
when I jump rope. For
instance, I can…
Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
An Idea Without an Example
When I go to the skate park, I
do tricks my uncle taught me
how to do on the skateboard.
Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
Using Examples to Elaborate
When I go to the skate park, I do
tricks my uncle taught me how to
do on the skateboard. I grind on a
ramp. I do 180’s and ollies.
Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
Using Examples to Elaborate
There are many different things we do
at recess.
•
•
Think of some examples of a variety of
things to do at recess.
Let’s write an example together.
Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
Using Examples to Elaborate
A great friend does many things.
• With a partner, think of some examples
of what a great friend does.
• Write an example together.
Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
Using Examples to Elaborate –
your turn
There are many different things we do at
recess.
•
•
•
•
Brainstorm a list of possible examples.
Write about what you like to do at recess.
Answer questions your audience might ask.
Use precise language.
Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
Using Definitions to Elaborate

DEFINITIONS – are explanations of an
unfamiliar word, person, or abbreviation to
tell what it means. This sounds like…
Max is a labradoodle,
which means he is
half Labrador
retriever and half
standard poodle.
Mr. Thurston, my
generous soccer
coach, took us to
KFC, in other
words, Kentucky
Fried Chicken.
Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
An Idea that May Need a
Definition
The thing I like most about the computer
is the internet. My favorite websites are
nick.com, amandaplease.com, and
nike.com.
Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
Using Definitions to Elaborate
The thing I like most about the computer
is the internet. The internet is a place
where you go to different websites.
Websites are places on the internet
where you can buy things, play games,
and listen to music. My favorite
websites are nick.com,
amandaplease.com, and nike.com.
Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
Using Definitions to Elaborate
Add definitions to this example.
When I go to the skate park, I do
tricks my uncle taught me how to
do on the skateboard. I grind on a
ramp. I do 180’s and ollies.
Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
Using Definitions to Elaborate
There are many different things we do
at recess.
•
•
Think of some examples of a variety of
things to do at recess.
Let’s write an example together.
Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
Using Definitions to Elaborate –
your turn
There are many different things we
do at recess.
•
•
•
•
Brainstorm a list of possible examples
Write about what you like to do at
recess.
Answer questions your audience might
have.
Use precise language
Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
Using Descriptions to Elaborate

DESCRIPTIONS – are ways to create
vivid images for the reader.
[One of grandma’s hats] was box-shaped and
covered with a veil. The veil was sprinkled with
lots of glittery stars.
Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
Idea that May Need a Description
The kittens were a beautiful sight.
Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
Using Descriptions to Elaborate
The kittens were a beautiful
sight. They were all different
colors. Each one had
brownish gold, black, white,
and tan in blotches on their
fur.
Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
Using Descriptions to Elaborate
The School Playground
•
•
Think of how you would describe your
playground.
Let’s write an example together.
Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
Using Descriptions to Elaborate
•
•
•
•
With a partner, pick an object in the
classroom.
Without naming it, write a description of it.
Find another partner group and read your
description to them. See if they can guess
the object.
Reverse roles.
Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
Using Description to Elaborate
–
your turn
•
Description can take many forms and
still be effective. Be specific with your
word choice. Try to create a picture in
your reader’s mind.
•
Write a description of an object you can
hold in your hand.
Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
Using Descriptions to Elaborate
–
follow-up
•
•
•
Read through your paper and substitute
“it” for the name of the object.
Read your paper to another student.
See if he or she can guess what the
object is from your description.
Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
Using Anecdotes to Elaborate

ANECDOTES – An anecdote is a short
story based on personal experience
inserted into writing that explains an idea.
This sounds like. . .
The students at this school
are so polite. Once when I
was in second grade, a kid …
Pets can sometimes be big
trouble. I remember the time
when my friend’s …
Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
Idea without an Anecdote
My crystal rock means a lot to me. I got
it when I went to Yellowstone. It was the
most beautiful purple crystal my eyes
have ever seen.
Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
Using an Anecdote for Elaboration
My crystal rock means a lot to me. I got it when I
went to Yellowstone. So at Yellowstone my
grandma and mom took me shopping.
Suddenly I saw the most beautiful rocks. It
was a rock store! My mom took me in the
store. Then I saw purple crystals. So I asked
my mom if I could get one. She said, “Yes!”
Then I looked at every one carefully to make
sure I got the one I wanted. Suddenly I saw it,
the most beautiful purple crystal my eyes have
ever seen.
Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
Using an Anecdote for Elaboration
The first day of school is sometimes
scary.
•
•
I will tell you about a story of mine.
Let’s write it together.
Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
Using an Anecdote for Elaboration
The first day of school is sometimes
scary.
Think of an anecdote (story) based on a
personal experience that would help to
explain this idea.
Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
Using an Anecdote for Elaboration
– your turn
Write your anecdote about a scary time
on the first day of school.
Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
Layering vs. Listing
Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
Layering Elaboration
A thoughtful writer layers one sentence after
another.
Each new sentence adds to or develops the
thought like rings around a bull’s-eye.
Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
Layering Elaboration
Each idea is carefully
stacked on the next
like bricks in a wall
or rings on a tall tree.
Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
Layering Elaboration
Every sentence and detail fits with the rest of
the topic like a set of nesting dolls.
Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
Layering vs. Listing
•
You and a partner will receive an
envelope with sentence strips in it.
•
Take the yellow sentence strips out of
the envelope and put them in the order
you think they should be arranged.
Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
Layering vs. Listing
•
Now take the red sentence strips out of
the envelope and put them in the order
you think they should be arranged.
Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
Listing
My bracelet is special to me. The bracelet
means a lot to me because it gives me good
memories of my friend. And because it is
very special to me. It’s special in another
way. It gives me good luck. That’s why my
bracelet is special to me.
Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
Layering
My bracelet is the object that means the most to
me. It means a lot because my bracelet brings
me good luck. It brought me luck on the first day I
went to my new school. When I entered my
classroom I saw a girl with a bracelet just like
mine. Her name was Talli. Now we are best
friends and we wear our bracelets wherever we
go. When I wear it, I think of all of fun times Talli
and I have had and it reminds me that I have a
great friend.
Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
Layering



Read the following topic sentence.
Together we will add sentences that
develop the topic by layering.
Remember that each sentence must
build on the previous one.
The field trip was fantastic.
Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
Layering
Read the following topic sentence. With
a partner take turns adding sentences
that develop the topic by layering.
Dessert is my favorite part of the meal.
Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
Layering – your turn
Read the following topic sentence. Write
a paragraph and practice adding
sentences that develop the main idea by
layering. The subject (in the “blank”)
can be anything (rain, homework, my
pet, commercials, etc.), but it can’t be a
person.
________is very annoying.
Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
Show, Don’t Tell
Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
Show, Don’t Tell
What is the difference between these two
sentences? Which one is better and why?
A. The room was a mess.
B. Rumpled bedspread, piled up clothes,
and jumbled dresser greeted me as I
pushed my way into the room.
Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
Definition of Telling and Showing
•
Telling is the basic idea.
•
Showing is the use of details, reasons,
examples, definition, description, and
anecdotes – elaboration – to create a
picture in the reader’s mind.
Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
Show with Description
Telling
Today is a great
day.
Showing
The sparkling sun is
shining and breakfast is
my favorite -- waffles,
drenched with strawberries
and whipped cream! My
100% math paper is stuck
to the front of the fridge. I
feel a win coming, with me
as hero, at today’s game.
Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
Show, Don’t Tell – your turn
With a partner, discuss how to make these sentences
show, rather than tell.
The dog was big.
I was tired last night.
The food was delicious.
The desk is a mess.
Pick one and rewrite it on your own. You may not use
the underlined words. Make the audience (reader) see,
hear, feel, touch, or taste the idea.
Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
Recognizing Elaboration
Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
Recognizing Elaboration
I think the class should go to the Pacific
Science Center because you can learn and
have fun at the same time. I think this is
because as you walk through the door you
see hermit crabs, and there is a whole bunch
of fact poles.
REASON - The writer is giving a reason why
you can learn and it is fun as well.
Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
Recognizing Elaboration
Almost everybody last year wanted to
go there again. Most of the girls were
terrorized touching the hermit crabs, but
I wasn’t. They were disgusting!
EXAMPLE AND ANECDOTE - The writer gives an
example why maybe some wouldn’t want to go back
as well as a personal observation.
Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
Recognizing Elaboration
Currently, you can go into this little room
where you can learn facts about bugs you
hadn’t even known there were on earth. As
you are getting out, there are big spiders,
small spiders, and the ones you are going to
be scared of.
EXAMPLES AND DECRIPTIONS - The writer
describes and gives examples of different
spiders.
Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
Recognizing Elaboration
Don’t stop reading now because you will walk
into this room shaped like a box. You will see
hundreds and hundreds of butterflies.
DESCRIPTION - The writer continues to
elaborate on bugs by describing what else
you will see.
Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
Recognizing Elaboration
You can’t touch them because the person in
charge doesn’t want you to break their wings.
REASON - The writer tells us WHY we can’t
touch the butterflies.
Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
Recognizing Elaboration
Before you leave you have to have a partner
check to see if you don’t have any of the
butterflies on you.
DETAILED EXPLANATION - The writer gives
us additional detail about the exhibit.
Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
Recognizing Elaboration
Last year when I went to the Pacific Science Center
the whole class got to play in the park. It was so
much fun. When we were done playing in the park
we went to go gaze at the beautiful and colorful art.
Out teacher last year went into the pretend space
ship. It could hold up to six people inside of it.
I think the class would like it a whole bunch. Maybe
we will go, maybe we won’t. You never know.
ANECDOTE - The writer includes an anecdote about
a previous trip to the Science Center.
Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
Recognizing Elaboration N
I think the class should go to the Pacific Science
Center because you can learn and have fun at the same
time. I think this is because as you walk through the door
you see hermit crabs, and there is a whole bunch of fact
poles. Almost everybody last year wanted to go there
again. Most of the girls were terrorized touching the
hermit crabs, but I wasn’t. They were disgusting!
Currently, you can go into this little room where
you can learn facts about bugs you hadn’t even known
there were on earth. As you are getting out, there are big
spiders, small spiders, and the ones you are going to be
scared of. Don’t stop reading now because you will walk
into this room shaped like a box. You will see hundreds
Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
Recognizing Elaboration – part 2
and hundreds of butterflies. You can’t touch them
because the person in charge doesn’t want you to
break their wings. Before you leave you have to have
a partner check to see if you don’t have any of the
butterflies on you.
Last year when I went to the Pacific Science
Center the whole class got to play in the park. It was
so much fun. When we were done playing in the park
we went to go gaze at the beautiful and colorful art.
Our teacher last year went into the pretend space ship.
It could hold up to six people inside of it.
I think the class would like it a whole bunch.
Maybe we will go, maybe we won’t. You never know.
Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
Recognizing Elaboration
•
If you can find elaboration strategies in
someone else’s writing, you become
more aware of them.
•
If you are more aware of them, you will
become more thoughtful about
threading it into your writing to. . .
TELL THE READER MORE.
Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
Recognizing Elaboration – your turn
•
Look through several papers that you have
written. See if you can find different kinds of
elaboration. Look for precise language,
details, reasons, examples, definitions,
description, and anecdotes.
•
Choose one paper that could have more
elaboration. Revise the writing with several
kinds of elaboration.
Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
ASSESSMENT
Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
Putting it all together – your
turn



Now that you have learned about
elaboration, you will have a chance to
use what you’ve learned.
With a partner, write the nine strategies
you have learned that can help you to
elaborate.
Meet with another pair to compare and
combine lists.
Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
Elaboration strategies









Questioning
Layering versus listing
Show, don’t tell
Anecdotes
Reasons
Definition
Examples
Description
Precise language
Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
Assessment


Look at the assessment papers and
highlight or underline examples of
elaboration.
Label the kind of elaboration that you
find in the margin.
Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
Putting it all together
Prompt
Think of something that is
important to you that you learned
in school or outside of school. In
several paragraphs, write a letter
to your teacher explaining what
you learned and why it is
important to you.
Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
Assessment – your turn




Get out your final draft.
Erase your name.
Choose a number and a symbol. Write
this number and symbol in place of your
name.
Turn in your paper.
Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
Assessment – your turn






Write both partner names at the bottom of each paper.
With your partner, read one of the two papers you just
received.
While you are reading, look for evidence of the elaboration
strategies we learned, and use a highlighter to mark the
elaboration each time you find it.
Talk with your partner to decide what elaboration strategy
the writer used for the elaboration you just highlighted. (You
may refer to your Elaboration Strategies sheet.)
In the margin, write the name of the strategy.
Do these same things with the second paper.
Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.
Assessment – your turn

Today we will celebrate different ways
we used elaboration in our writing.
Copyright © 2007 Washington Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction. All rights reserved.