What Makes Smart Lawyers Fail –
How to Increase Your Emotional
Intelligence and Your Impact!
Steve Roth
VP & General Counsel
Jewelry Television
Norma Formanek
SVP & General Counsel
Trilliant, Inc.
LaKeisha Marsh
Associate Vice President & Counsel
TCS Education System
Dan Harper
Assistant General Counsel
CTS Corporation
Elizabeth Wall
Founder & President
Elizabeth Wall Partners International
Introduction and Objectives
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Panelists
EQ Overview
EQ & Leadership
EQ & Clients
EQ in International Context
EQ in Unique Situations
The First EQ
Game Show
EQ
A&F
Phil Jackson
Be Present
Sean Combs
Be Authentic
Aretha Franklin
R-e-s-p-e-c-t
Iggy Azalea
Fancy
No empathy
EQ WORKOUT
THE FINE PRINT
Emotional Intelligence
&
Leadership
C-Suite: This, or That
CFO
Sales
Eng/Mfr
Legal
HR
The smart and successful lawyer
• Represents the organization in a way that
supports
– Sustained economic growth
– Balanced risk taking and risk management
– Integrity – letter and spirit of the rules
• High performance + high integrity = satisfied
shareholders, employees, creditors,
customers, suppliers, regulators
Emotional intelligence can help you get there!
Tale # 1
People are watching – what do they
see?
Tale # 2
EQ help for the struggling peer
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Listen, don’t judge
Solicit the facts, don’t attack
Collaborate on solutions, don’t lecture
Use your strengths to supplement, not
undermine
• “We win,” not “I win, you lose”
Tale # 3- aftermath of a bad
meeting
One good snark deserves another?
• “Then why didn’t you say something?” = You
blew it!
• “Yeah, you’re right about that.” = I feel your
pain but I’m not getting involved
• “At my last company I had to clean up a mess
just like that . . . “ = It’s all about me
• “What’s happening that worries you about the
delivery schedule?” = I’m interested – and
maybe there’s a solution?
Tale 4 – IEDs in the C-Suite
Is there a way out?
• Don’t tell an angry person to calm down
• Anger arises from something & won’t be defused
by “you’re wrong!” (don’t get defensive)
• If calm is possible, “This is important; help me
understand your concern”
• If calm is not possible, take a time out, but reengage – and soon
• If you are a bystander, can you become a
mediator?
EQ and You (and Me)
– I can listen better
– I can learn to manage my emotional reactivity
– I know tone, gestures & behavior have an impact
– I’ll focus on my company’s success, not my ego
– I can trip the shortstop . . . But if I back her up, we
might win the game
It is all about me!
Good reads . . . .
• Ben W. Heinemann, The General Counsel as Lawyer-Statesman,
http://www.law.harvard.edu/programs/plp/pdf/General_Counsel_a
s_Lawyer-Statesman.pdf
• Daniel Goleman, “What Makes a Leader,” Harvard Business Review,
Jan. 2004, http://hbr.org/2004/01/what-makes-a-leader/ar/1
• Adam Grant, “The Dark Side of Emotional Intelligence,” The Atlantic
Monthly, Jan. 2, 2014,
http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2014/01/the-darkside-of-emotional-intelligence/282720/
• Michael P. Nichols, The Lost Art of Listening (Guilford Press, 2009)
• Margaret Morrell and Stephanie Capparell, Shackleton’s Way:
Leadership Lessons from the Great Antarctic Explorer (Penguin,
2002)
Emotional Intelligence
&
Clients
Emotional Intelligence as Four Constructs
• Drawing from the scientific community (and Daniel Goleman’s
model specifically), we look at emotional intelligence as:
• Self-awareness
•
Self-management
•
Social awareness
•
Relationship Management
Self
• Self-awareness
– The ability to read one’s own emotions and
recognize their impact while using gut feelings to
guide decisions
• Self-management
– Controlling one’s emotions and impulses and
adapting to changing circumstances
Others
• Social awareness
– The ability to sense, understand and react to
others’ emotions while comprehending social
networks
• Relationship management
– The ability to inspire, influence and develop while
managing conflict
One Client/Many Relationships
• While our client is actually the company, there
are a variety of in-house counsel “client”
relationships:
– In-house attorneys to business colleagues
– In-house attorneys to superiors within the legal
department
– In-house attorneys partnering with outside
counsel to serve the corporation as a whole
There are many EI and non-EI components to
client service*, including:
Professionalism/Ethics
Judgment
Accuracy
Trust
Technical Legal Skills
Accountability
Responsiveness/Proactivity
Golden Rule
* We are not concerned with covering every facet of client service but in using it as a lens through
which to examine emotional intelligence as it applies to in-house counsel career skills.
General elements of any client service interaction:
Relationship Assessment
Initial Case Assessment
Assignment
Substantive Lawyering
Communication of Advice
Implementation
Follow Up
Remember the Four Elements (Case Assessment)
#1 Self-awareness: What is my frame of mind at this
moment?
#2 Self-management: How do I keep my current state of
mind from impacting the discussion or advice I am
about to render?
#3 Social awareness: Who is involved in the matter?
#4 Relationship management: Many questions to be
examined.
Remember the Four Elements
(Assignment and Substantive Lawyering)
#1 Self-awareness: Am I giving the matter the attention or
resources (i.e. depth) that it deserves?
#2 Self-management: Am I exerting pressure on others
appropriate to the project, timeline and budget rather than
based on my own feelings?
#3 Social awareness: What message am I sending to colleagues or
an opponent by my case assignment or strategy?
#4 Relationship management: Many questions to be examined.
Remember the Four Elements
(Communication of Advice/Implementation/Follow-Up)
#1 Self-awareness: How do I feel about the advice or conclusion?
#2 Self-management: Am I communicating in a way that is
appropriate for the matter at hand? Have all the decision
makers and stakeholders been identified and received
communication?
#3 Social awareness: How does the action impact various people?
#4 Relationship management: Who should hear the advice/know
the result first?
Simple Tips – EI Maintenance
 Learn the business – go into the field, factory, etc. to better understand others’
experience, invite outside counsel into your offices to let them learn
 Build relationships – take business people to lunch, accept law firm invitations to
events, give referrals and compliments, etc.
 Learn business skills – reading financial statements, how business people make
presentations, etc. to better see things from their perspective
 Seek out leadership opportunities either within the office or through volunteer
activities (like ACC!) and use them to hone management skills
 Ask for feedback and be certain to accept it with a positive attitude and
determination to develop
 Keep a fresh perspective by staying curious, trying new things, seeking out other
ideas and getting advice from varied sources
Emotional Intelligence
An International Perspective
• EQ Savvy for International Travel “Novices”
• Why International EQ is important to Global
Employers and Would-be Employees
• Some EQ Considerations for Global Companies
REGULATION
RECOGNITION
SELF
SELF-AWARENESS
Emotional Self-Awareness
Accurate Self-Assessment
Self-Confidence
SELF MANAGEMENT
Self-Control
Transparency
Adaptability
Achievement Drive
Initiative
SOCIAL
SOCIAL-AWARENESS
Empathy
Organizational Awareness
Service Orientation
RELATIONSHIP MANAGEMENT
Inspirational Leadership
Developing Others
Influence
Change Catalyst
Conflict Management
Building Bonds
Teamwork and Collaboration
EQ Savvy for International Travel “Novices”
“You only get one chance to make a good first impression.”
Elizabeth Wall, Founder President, EWPI
Some basic EQ know-how for visits to unfamiliar destinations to avoid giving
offence to contacts, committing faux pas, or worse:
• When travelling on business, you represent your company…… and your
home country.
• You disregard different countries’ customs and culture at your peril!
• Behaviour protocols in different countries in the same geographical
“region” are as different as the languages spoken in each country in
question.
e.g. China, Korea, Japan which are often referred to as “Asia”
e.g. Russia, Tajikistan, Moldova, Kazakhstan, etc. which are all “CIS”
• Check each country individually.
Plan ahead for overseas business travel:
• Tap into all available resources - work colleagues, contacts, local outside counsel
etc.
• See the Recommended Reading List slides for topical guidance.
• Gather as much information as you can about your destination, local customs
and protocols.
• Use appropriate “body language” and appropriate manner of greeting in each
country.
• Pack appropriate attire for business and social occasions
• Plan meetings and other contacts well ahead of time; check meeting times and
venues.
• Check the relevant “gift” protocols
When in country:
• Address people according to their status and by their full name.
• Avoid using first or nicknames unless you are invited to do so.
• Ensure contacts’ names and titles are correctly spelled in
communications and, if possible, check on pronunciation.
• Be aware there may be different behaviour protocols for business and
“business social” occasions.
• Arrive at the meeting venue at the appointed time, not too early or too
late. Check journey times!
• If in doubt, dress conservatively.
Non-verbal communication:
See www.paulekman.com for facial expressions test. Image: Paul Ekman Group
Why International EQ matters to Global Employers
and would-be Employees
It isn’t possible to assess an individual’s EQ merely by looking at them!
When recruiting for international roles, a candidate’s EQ characteristics will be no
less important than their IQ and personality traits.
And that is even before we add the challenges of religious diversity and/or political
leanings into the mix!
Corporations should therefore favour candidates who:
• demonstrate characteristics and skills specific to the international
environment as well as the role itself
• will enhance the effectiveness of the their multinational team(s)
• are “Board ready” in terms of maturity and “presence” for a multicultural
environment
From a Candidate’s Perspective
• Your full range of skills and experience including EQ savvy, languages, “political
awareness”, ethical behaviour and previous overseas work experience are as
important in a cross-cultural corporate environment as your basic Meyers
Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) profile.
• Be prepared during interviews to describe scenarios, particularly those in
challenging situations, where you have used your cross-cultural EQ skills.
• Prepare questions for the interviewers on the extent of international/cross
cultural exposure in the role and what potential challenges this may pose.
• Use your resume/LinkedIn profile to maximise your chances for international
opportunities by describing your multinational experience in the context of
your EQ skills.
• Always be authentic.
Culture-Shocks
If you transfer within your company to a different country, you may experience
some “culture-shock” issues which undermine EQ values.
Eg:
• deeply ingrained attitudes like chauvinism, gender and other diversity
issues
• lawyering styles inconsistent with appropriate behaviour
• strictly hierarchical corporate cultures deeply embedded within local
subsidiaries where only the most senior executive can and will speak for
the local business, being immune to challenges from within his “troops”
• a sustained culture of applying peer pressure across the workforce to
ensure the entire community consistently circumvents company policy
• efforts to conduct a sustained campaign to influence and persuade the
workforce to conform with overall Group protocols are likely to meet hard
core resistance.
Call to Action:
How will social networking and new
technologies impact current EQ thinking?
Discuss!
Recommended Reading for
Wannabe Seasoned Road Warriors!
In Print:
• Kiss, Bow, or Shake Hands - doing business in more than 60 countries, by Terri
Morrison and Wayne A. Conaway
See also:
- Kiss, Bow or Shake Hands in Latin America
- Kiss, Bow or Shake Hands in Asia
• When Cultures Collide, by Richard D. Lewis
• When Teams Collide, by Richard D. Lewis
• Riding the Waves of Culture – Understanding Diversity in Global Business, by
Fons Trompnaars & Charles Hampden-Turner, Updated 3rd Edition
Online Articles:
• Are There Universal Facial Expressions? by Paul Ekman
• Global Leadership Success Through Emotional and Cultural Intelligences
by Ilan Alon & James M. Higgins
• Cultural Intelligence - Working Successfully With Diverse Groups
from MindTools.com
• Beyond General Intelligence (IQ) and Emotional Intelligence (EQ): The Role of
Cultural Intelligence (CQ) on Cross-Border Leadership Effectiveness
by Thomas Rockstuhl, Stefan Seiler, Soon Ang, Linn Van Dyne, Hubert Annen
Food for Thought:
“Students who learn through textbooks lack a particular kind of experience that can
only ever be gained by testing those principles out in the big, wide, world. Those
who play it by the book are fine as long as the book doesn’t let them down and as
long as it carefully lists every eventuality. But the book of life is constantly rewriting
itself. No amount of theoretical understanding will bring the right answer. For that,
you need experience.”
(Jonathan Cainer, British Psychic, Leo Horoscope for August 20th, 2014)
I BET YOU CAN’T GUESS…..
In which country will you be warmly welcomed by an
individual who sticks out his or her tongue at you?
YOU GUESSED IT…TIBET!
Emotional Intelligence
in
Unique Situations
Bet You Won’t Forget…
Constructs of Emotional Intelligence
• Self Awareness – The ability to read one’s own
emotions and recognize their impact while using gut
feelings to guide decisions.
• Self-Management – Controlling one’s emotions and
impulses and adapting to changing circumstances.
• Social Awareness – The ability to sense, understand
and react to others’ emotions while comprehending
social networks.
• Relationship Management – The ability to inspire,
influence and develop while managing conflict.
This Thing Called Emotional Intelligence
• Emotional intelligence involves understanding
your emotions and the emotions of the
people around you.
• Emotional intelligence has to do with a
person’s ability to recognize, understand, and
manage his or her own emotions and the
emotions of others.
• Emotional intelligence in the day-to-day affairs
of me……..
Student Experience in a Foreign
Country
Faculty you have been named…in a
Lawsuit
Student Discipline & the
Psychologists
The Board Member
The Bomb Threat
Managing Emotions in the Workplace
• Know your work style. Determine whether certain people bother you or
whether you generally just want to work alone.
• Know your feelings. Decide whether you prefer to work with some people
and not others. Structure your time to get more control over when you
have to work with people you have negative feelings about.
• Pick a time of day. See whether you're more open to dealing with others
at a particular time of day.
• Choose a place. Decide whether you're more comfortable working with
others in a particular place.
• Plan ahead. Plan your interactions in advance so that you can structure
them and control the time.
• Keep it short. Set the amount of time for your interactions in advance and
try to stick to it.
• Be professional. Be pleasant, even you if you don’t like the person you
have to deal with.
According to Emotional Intelligence for Dummies
Pulling It All Together
As In-House Counsel and Lawyers in general, we
should focus on:
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•
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Managing his or her own impulses
Communicate with others effectively
Manage change well
Solve problems
Use humor to build rapport in tense situations
We master these, we are on our way to being
EMOTIONALLY INTELLIGENT!!
QUESTIONS