Dealing With Difficult People

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Protecting the Rescue Worker
Chery F. Kendrick, DVM, MPVM, MLT, CFS
Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
© Copyright 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
Taking Care of YOU
• You Cannot be an effective rescue worker
Unless you first and foremost provide for your
own needs
• Physical = rest, hydration, food
• Psychological = rest, hydration, food, education
and support services
• Respite for YOU
© Copyright 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
Hoarding
Is a Disease = OCD
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder
© Copyright 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
Understanding
• Understanding the
causation is essential
• Understand the
statistics: 100%
recidivism even with
therapy
• Scope: understand it
is a pervasive
psychological disease
not a typical abuse
case
Peace, Love & Understanding
© Copyright 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
Team Approach
• Team effort is required for any hope of
successful resolution
• Police and Code Enforcement
• Social Welfare: adult services
• Psychologist trained in
OCD/hoarding behaviors
• Family
• Community
© Copyright 2012 Chery F. Kendrick &
Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
Without Team Approach….
You are left pretty much on your own…..
Feeling like you are banging your head against a wall….
© Copyright 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
The Statistics
© Copyright 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
So While Others Run Away
We can stay and take care….
as long as we take care of ourselves….
© Copyright 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
So let’s talk about taking care of you
While Achieving Your Dream to help the critters ….
© Copyright 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
Dealing With Difficult People
Dr. Chery F. Kendrick
Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
865-405-4255
© 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
A Day in the Life…..
•
In a typical day we have
multiple interactions with
many different personality
types.
• Sometimes multiple
personalities in the same
individual 
We Deal With:
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Colleagues
Clients
Salesmen
Delivery people
Pickup people
Personal relationships
© 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
Some People are Susie Sunshine
© 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
And Some Are … Not
© 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
Dealing with People is Like a
Beautifully Synchronized Dance….
© 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
Timing is Everything
© 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
Dealing With “Types”
• Some say “different
strokes for different folks”
• In actuality a few tools,
one approach works well
for all types of people and
situations you may
encounter
© 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
Let’s First Look at a Few Types
The Water Cooler Guys…..
the ones who always seem to be on a break
especially when there is work to be done
© 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
The In-Your-Face Sales Reps Types
© 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
The Gossip Mongers
© 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
The “I Just Don’t Want to Hear It”
Manager
© 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
The Overachiever
© 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
The Blamers….
it is Always someone else’s fault
© 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
The “Never Happy With the Bill” Client
© 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
And of Course the:
“But I Read It On The Internet” Client
© 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
Bottom Line: People are Varied
• There are those whose
personality rubs you the
wrong way. They may
not be difficult for
someone else, but they
are for you.
• And then there are
those who are difficult
for everyone
© 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
Depends on the Day….
• Some days none of those types will bother
you…
• Other days even Mother Teresa will bug the
heck out of you 
© 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
The Important Thing is YOU!
• Taking care of you is
essential
• Learning to deal with
difficult people is part
of taking care of YOU
© 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
Dealing Effectively
with Difficult People
• Become adept at handling difficult people, and you’ll
feel much more confident in your own abilities.
• If you can handle this, you can handle anything.
• While any one can work with the easy people, it
takes a real professional to be successful with the
difficult people.
• Your confidence will grow, your poise will increase,
and your self-esteem will increase.
© 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
Problem Escalation
• On the other hand, if you mishandle it, and
watch the situation escalate, then you may
find yourself upset for days.
© 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
The How To……
• So, how do you handle an
angry, complaining client?
A pain in the neck
colleague? The annoying
sales person?
• Let's begin with the basic
tools you can use in any of
these situations.
© 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
Tools: Key Actions/Reactions
Let’s look at this pyramid
And the tools we use :
• Respect
• Listen
• Empathy
• Identify the Problem
• Avoid Blame
• Discuss Solution/Resolution
© 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
Empathy…..
© 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
Change, Acceptance and Balance
• Change the things you can
• Accept Responsibility
• Refuse to Accept Responsibility
© 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
Do Not Reward Bad Behavior
© 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
Be Sure to Acknowledge
Reward Good Behavior
• Don’t forget to also
acknowledge the good work
• Acknowledge the good client
• Acknowledge the helpful
colleague
© 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
© 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
Protect Yourself
• Once again I want to
reiterate you cannot nor
should you have to solve
everyone else’s problems
• Karma is a beautiful thing
• Keep yourself balanced
• And don’t forget your
Self-Care Exercises…let’s
take a look at them
© 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
Keeping the Candle Lit
Without Getting Burned
Chery F. Kendrick, DVM, MPVM, MLT, ASCP, CFS
Compassion Fatigue Specialist
Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
© 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
About This Presentation
We will explore the following:
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Compassion Fatigue Definitions
Signs and Symptoms of Compassion Fatigue
Preventing Job Burnout
Preventing Compassion Fatigue
Healing From Within
Healing With Your Team
Sharing Ideas and Resources
© 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
Our Compassion Fatigue
Workbook
© 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
Working Through The Exercises
The Workbook
contains relaxation exercises
that you can easily practice in
the peace and privacy of your
own home until they become
second nature to you, and
allow you to draw on them as
coping tools throughout your
day (and night)
© 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
Let’s Start With Some Definitions
© 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
Compassion Fatigue,
also known as a Secondary
Traumatic Stress Disorder, is a
term that refers to a gradual
lessening of compassion over
time. It is common among victims
of trauma and individuals that
work directly with victims of
trauma
What IS
Compassion Fatigue?
•Compassion Fatigue is also known as:
Secondary Traumatic Stress
•It is a part of a the developing field of traumatology
•Most often this phenomenon is associated with the
“cost of caring” for others in emotional pain
•In the animal welfare industry we are especially vulnerable
to Compassion Fatigue and job burnout
© 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
Caring May Come
With a High Cost
“People continue in the field because
they love their work; this love
causes them terrible pain.”
- - Figley & Roop, p46.
But it Doesn’t Have to….
© 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
Comparing PTSD – vs. - STSD
PTSD
STSD
• Primary Traumatic Stress
Disorder (PTSD): firsthand
experience of trauma or
traumatic events
• PTSD symptoms directly
related to traumatized
individual or animal
• Secondary Traumatic Stress
Disorder (STSD): secondary
experience of trauma or
traumatic events
• STSD symptoms are
associated with secondary
person or person helping
traumatized individual
and/or animal
© 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
Job Burnout
The total depletion of physical and
mental resources caused by excessive
striving to reach an unrealistic workrelated goal.
© 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
More on
Job Burnout
A general feeling of exhaustion that develops
when an individual simultaneously experiences
too much pressure and has too few sources of
satisfaction.
© 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
Symptoms of Burnout
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Alcohol, drugs, food, or sex to escape feelings
Irritable with patients or colleagues
More time alone or felt withdrawn
Depressed/emotionally drained
Not accomplishing anything with patients
Lost interest in or resented patients
Preoccupied with images of death
- - Furman, 2002
© 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
Here Is An
Interesting Statistic:
People reflect and think about events
inducing negative emotions 5 times as
long as they do about events inducing
strong positive emotions.
- - Robbins
© 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
Emotional Reactions
to Working
with the Suffering
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A sense of powerlessness or ineffectiveness
Anxiety or fear when thinking about the animal
Guilt – self doubt; thoughts of hurting people or self
Anger or rage
Shutdown or numbness – silencing response
© 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
More Emotional Reactions
to Working
with the Suffering
• Sadness
• Depression…insomnia, loss of appetite, thoughts of death,
self-medication
• Emotional rollercoaster – happy to sad
• Overwhelmed
• Depleted as a helper
© 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
Compassion Fatigue
Burnout Symptoms - Cognitive
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Confusion
Spaciness
Loss of Meaning
Apathy
Rigidity
Disorientation
Self -doubt
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Trauma imagery
Whirling thoughts
Perfectionism
Diminished
Concentration
• Minimization
• Thoughts of self-harm
© 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
Compassion Fatigue Burnout
Symptoms - Physical
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Shock
Sweating
Rapid heartbeat
Breathing
difficulties
• Aches and pains
• Dizziness
• Increased number and
intensity of medical
maladies
• Other somatic complaints
• Impaired immune system
• Helplessness
© 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
Compassion Fatigue Burnout Symptoms –
Work Performance
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Low morale
Low motivation
Avoiding tasks
Obsess details
Apathy
Negativity
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Detachment
Poor work commitments
Staff conflicts
Absenteeism
Exhaustion
Irritability
Withdraw from colleagues
Lack of appreciation
© 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
Compassion Fatigue Burnout
Symptoms – Interpersonal
• Withdrawal
• Loss of interest in intimacy or sex
• Mistrust
• Isolation from friends
• Overprotective as a parent
• Projection of anger or blame
• Intolerance
• Loneliness
© 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
Impact On
Professional Functioning
• Performance of Job Tasks
• Decrease in quality/quantity
• Avoidance of tasks
• Morale
• Detachment
• Interpersonal
• Impatience
• Staff conflicts
• Behavioral
• Absenteeism
• Decrease in confidence
• Overwork
• Frequent Job Changes
© 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
Drama Avoidance
101
“Just because someone brings you a problem
doesn’t mean you're automatically in charge
of fixing it.
Learn to detach yourself from drama.”
© 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
Effects of Toxic People
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Happier people when making real-life decisions may be smarter more
productive decision makers than unhappy people.
•
Lisa Aspinwall, University of Utah
A chilly negative mood activates a battle-stations mode of thinking: The order
of the day is to focus on what is wrong & then eliminate it.
• Martin Seligman, Ph.D.
•
A positive mood buoys people into a way of thinking that is creative, tolerant,
constructive, generous, un-defensive and lateral. This way of thinking aims to
detect not what is wrong, but what is right.
• Martin Seligman, Ph.D.
Just Say “NO!” To Toxic People
© 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
Symptoms vs Disease
• Compassion Fatigue
is a set of symptoms,
not a disease
© 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
Symptoms of Compassion Fatigue?
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Burnout
Depression
Sadness
Physical Illnesses
Irritable Bowel
Ulcers
High Blood Pressure
Insomnia
© 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
Recognizing Signs
• The outward signs we experience are displays
of stress resulting from giving care to others.
• Compassion Fatigue is the name that has been
attached to these symptoms so that we have a
way of identifying it in ourselves and in others.
© 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
Identify
• Once identified,
we are able to take
action to manage the
distress this disorder is
causing in our lives.
© 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
Coping with Emotions
• In working with traumatized or suffering
people or animals, the most common
method of coping with the discomfort we
experience is to stifle the emotions that
arise.
© 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
Stifling Emotions
• Sometimes it is the
only way we can
continue to do the
care-giving work
that we want to do.
© 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
Effects of
Compassion Fatigue
• Once we are open to accepting
the fact that Compassion Fatigue is creating
our emotional, psychological, and physical
symptoms, we can look at our pain and
learn new ways in which to react to them
and channel them into positive, healthy
actions.
© 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
What is the Basic Message of
Of Compassion Fatigue?
• Recognize the signs
• Take care of you the caretaker
• Follow the Rules of Eight
© 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
Compassion Satisfaction is What We
Aim For
Satisfaction derived from the
work of helping others.
- - Charles Figley, Ph.D.
© 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
Now What
© 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
Our Goal Is To
Prevent Compassion Fatigue
“To Enable Us to
Keep the Candle Lit
Without Getting Burned”
© 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
We Do This By
Practicing Self-Care
© 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
Self Esteem and Caring
You need your own
foundation for self esteem.
You will be unable to accept
the positive things people
say about you if you don’t
believe them yourself.
© 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
Self-Care Exercises Include
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Relaxation Techniques
Healthy Lifestyle
Recreation
Balance Between Work and Play
Learning Self-Care Techniques
Asking For Help When Needed
Learning to Detoxify Your Life
© 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
Follow The
Rules of Eight
• The Eight Rules Governing
Healthy Change
• The Eight Rules Governing
Healthy Care-giving
• The Eight Rules Governing
Healthy Self-Care
• The Eight Rules Governing
A Healthy Workplace
© 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
The Eight Laws Governing
Healthy Change
© 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
Breaks and Saying “No”
• #1 Take frequent
breaks from what you
are doing.
• #2 Weigh your options
carefully and learn the
word “no.” Use it
whenever necessary.
© 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
Sharing, Humor
• #3 Share the load with others.
• #4 There is humor in every
situation. Find it and laugh.
© 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
Help and Credit
• #5 Recognize when you
need help. Ask for it.
• #6 Give yourself credit
when credit is due.
© 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
Credit, Breathing
• #7 Give others
credit when credit
is due.
• #8 Breathe deeply
as often as
possible.
© 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
The Eight Laws Governing
Healthy Care-giving
© 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
Compassion, Skepticism, Release
• #1 Sustain Your Compassion
• #2 Retain Healthy Skepticism
• #3 Learn to Let Go
Puppy Breath
Can Be Healing
© 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
Optimism, Insight & Solutions
• #4 Remain Optimistic
• #5 Be part of the Solution
• #6 Trust Your Insight
© 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
Self-Care, Acknowledgement
• #7 Practice Sustainable
Self Care
• #8 Acknowledge Your
Successes
© 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
The Eight Laws Governing
Healthy Self Care
© 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
Validation
• #1 By validating ourselves,
we promote acceptance.
• #2 By validating others,
we elevate ourselves.
© 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
Healthy Self Helps Healing Role
• #3 By meeting our own mental,
physical and emotional needs,
we can then give care from a
place of abundance, not
scarcity.
• #4 By practicing self-goodwill,
we manifest it throughout our
lives.
© 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
Honoring Past ► Freedom & Power
• #5 By honoring past traumas and
hurts, we allow ourselves freedom
from the pain that controls us.
• #6 By “doing the work,” we reclaim
the personal power that is
rightfully ours.
© 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
Healing Our Emotional Pain
Allows Us To Be Better Healers
© 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
Ownership, Authenticity, Happiness
• #7 By naming and taking
ownership of the core issues
that limit our growth, we
create authenticity.
• #8 By managing our self-care,
we welcome happiness into
our lives.
© 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
The Eight Laws Governing
A Healthy Workplace
• #1 Employer provides a
respite for staff following
any traumatic event.
• #2 Employer provides
continuing education
for staff.
© 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
Benefits, Tools
• #3 Employer provides
acceptable benefits to
aid staff in practicing
beneficial self care.
• #4 Employer provides
management and staff
the tools needed to
accomplish their tasks.
© 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
Workload, Team Work
• #5 Management needs
to monitor workloads.
• #6 Encourage teambuilding activities to
promote strong social
relationships between
colleagues.
© 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
Support, Planning
• #7 Employers
encourage “open door”
policies to promote
good communication
between workers.
• #8 Employers have
grief processes in place
when traumatic events
occur onsite.
© 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
For More Help
and
Information on Our Workshops
Please Visit Our Website:
www.KendrickTechServices.com
© 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
Working Through the Exercises
in the
Compassion Fatigue Workbook
• The Compassion Fatigue Workbook
has exercises designed to help you
relax and refocus your energy
• These exercises are the tools to help
you relieve the stress in order to
prevent Compassion Fatigue
• Let’s take a moment to walk through
some of them
© 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
Breathing
• Sounds simple right?
• Let’s talk about breathing:
• Emotions change breathing
patterns
• Deep breathing exercises help
to clear the mind and relieve
stress
• Walk through the Breathing
exercise in your workbook
© 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
Creative Visualization Exercise
This is a relaxation technique
that uses guided imagery.
© 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
Self Hypnosis Exercise
(Self-Talk, Self-Advice)
The purpose of this exercise is to evoke a relaxed
consciousness and focus that will help you
overcome stress linked to various stressors
© 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
Dealing with Violent People
Bottom line is:
•Do not get caught alone with a
potentially violent person
•Get Help! Never hesitate to call 911 or to
press a panic alarm.
•Run, kick, scream, do whatever you need
to do to stay safe and get away from
danger
•No job is worth endangering your life for.
•Talk to your Safety Coordinator about
other ways your clinic protects employees
from potential workplace violence such as
panic alarms or secret alert words.
© 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
Giving Credit Exercise
We all like to be appreciated.
Take a moment to think about ways to give
yourself and others credit where credit is due.
© 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
Learning To Say “No” Exercise
Just Say “No!” True this is much
easier said than done
sometimes. However it may
help you to choose wisely if
you actually take a moment to
think of the consequences of
saying “yes” before you agree
to take that next project on.
© 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
Healing Touch
Self Care Program
• A self-care tool
• Uses energy fields
(chakras)
• Realignment of energy
fields
• Allow the body to self
heal
© 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
Healing Touch
•
Healing Touch = Energy
Medicine
• Like Acupressure it uses
the bodies energy fields
known as chakras
• HT used for dogs and
cats
© 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
Healing Touch is also
used for Horses
© 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
Healing Touch for Humans
• A powerful tool for
you to use
• Self healing
• Self Chakra
Connection
© 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
Self Chakra Connection
© 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
The Wellness Wheel
It’s All About Balance
• Balancing the:
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Physical
Emotional
Spiritual
Work /Career
Play/Recreation
Family
Friends
While Maintaining Mindfulness
© 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
Practice Makes Perfect
•
•
•
Be sure to work through the exercises in your workbook until you feel comfortable.
Soon they will become so second nature that you can use one of your exercises to take a quick
de-stressing moment any time throughout your work day
Encourage all team members to work on these exercises for the good of the team as well as the
individual
Thank you for all you do
© 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
And Don’t Forget to Say….
Thank you for spending your Valentine’s day evening with me
Doc Chery
www.KendrickTechServices.com
865-405-4255
© 2012 Chery F. Kendrick & Kendrick Technical Services, LLC
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