Serving Your Family - August 5, 2012 – Week 3
Outline
I.
Introduction
A 2007 study by the Barna Group found that seven out of ten adults choose their
earthly family over their heavenly Father when asked to choose the most
important relationship to them. Of the 1,004 adults over the age of 18 that were
surveyed:
one-third said their entire nuclear family is more important than God.
"Study: God Relationship Not Most Important to Americans,"
www.christianpost.com; submitted by Van Morris, Mount Washington, Kentucky
II.
Serving Your Family: The Principles
a. Serving is Placing the Focus on Christ
i. Primary Relationship & Responsibility = Christ
ii. Secondary Relationship = Spouse
iii. Secondary Relationship = Raising Godly Children
iv. Malachi 2:13-15 (NIV)
13 Another
thing you do: You flood the LORD's altar with tears. You
weep and wail because he no longer pays attention to your
offerings or accepts them with pleasure from your hands.
14 You
ask, "Why?" It is because the LORD is acting as the witness
between you and the wife of your youth, because you have broken
faith with her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage
covenant. 15 Has not [the LORD] made them one? In flesh and spirit
they are his. And why one? Because he was seeking godly
offspring. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith
with the wife of your youth.
b. Serving God First Equips Us to Serve Others
i. Romans 5:5 (NIV) - And hope does not put us to shame, because
God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy
Spirit, who has been given to us.
c. Serving Is Born Out of Love (If you love Me, Serve Me)
i. John 21:15-17 (NIV) - 15 When they had finished eating, Jesus said
to Simon Peter, “Simon son of John, do you love me more than
these?”“Yes, Lord,” he said, “you know that I love you.” Jesus said,
“Feed my lambs.” 16 Again Jesus said, “Simon son of John, do you
love me?”He answered, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.”Jesus
said, “Take care of my sheep.” 17 The third time he said to him,
“Simon son of John, do you love me?”Peter was hurt because
Jesus asked him the third time, “Do you love me?” He said, “Lord,
you know all things; you know that I love you.”Jesus said, “Feed my
sheep.
d. Serving Is Offered Out of Brokenness
i. Broken Families have Yielded Some of the Greatest People
1. Issac & Rebekah = Esau & Jacob (“House of Jacob”)
2. Joseph & His brothers = Sibling Rivalry (Benjamin,
Judah)
3. King David & Absalom = Solomon (Bathsheba)
ii. Greatness, Bravery, Courageousness, Righteousness come
from God, not parents.
1. Parents are called to teach their children about God
and His ways
iii. Illustration: Like Dew Your Youth, Eugene Peterson
writes:
1. A search of Scripture turns up one rather surprising truth:
there are no exemplary families. Not a single family is
portrayed in Scripture in such a way so as to evoke
admiration in us. There are many family stories, there is
considerable reference to family life, and there is sound
counsel to guide the growth of families, but not a single
model family for anyone to look up to in either awe or envy.
III.
Serving Your Family: The Practical
a. Offer a Godly Example
i. 1 Timothy 3:4-5 (NIV) - 4 He must manage his own family well and
see that his children obey him with proper respect. 5 (If anyone
does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take
care of God's church?)
b. Offer Yourself Without Others Asking
i. What do they dislike the most?
1. Chores:
a. Dishes,
b. Laundry,
c. Dusting,
d. Groceries,
e. Cooking,
f. Trash,
g. Bathrooms,
h. Yard work.
2. Tasks:
a. Talking on the phone,
b. Meeting with the Dr.,
c. Doing the Finances,
d. Talking with a teacher,
e. Driving,
f. Setting up appointments
3. General items:
a. Taking the Lead,
b. Being up front,
c. Asking for help
ii. What would speak love to them the most? Gary Chapman
offers in his book, The 5 Love Languages, the 5 different
ways that people experience love from one another. He
reminds us, too, that we tend to give in the way we like to
receive, not in the way our spouse or kids receive:
1. Time
2. Gifts
3. Service
4. Physical Touch
5. Words of Affirmation
iii. What have you placed in priority over your family? Work, a
hobby, “me” time, friends, your goals and dreams…
c. Offer a Sacrificial Heart
When Dick Peterson's wife, Elizabeth, was diagnosed with multiple
sclerosis, he knew many challenges awaited his family. What he didn't
know was just how many lessons he would learn along the way about love
and service in the name of Christ. He writes:
The intruder invaded Elizabeth's body, and by extension, mine. Her
disease became my disease and made demands on our relationship we
were ill-prepared to manage. As she moved from cane to walker to
electric scooter and finally to a powered wheelchair, then lost use of
her right hand, I had to adjust my life to fit her needs.
Uninvited and unwelcome, this disease now forces us into a kind of sick
reality game, leaving no choice but to follow the rules even as they change
and become more restrictive …
Every family divvies up chores, fairly or not so fairly. The MS dictates
ours and it's not at all fair, but we do have the choice to let it tear us apart
or use it to strengthen our marriage bond as we face the adversity
together. This reaches deeper than deciding who does what. It reaches to
feelings, emotions, and attitudes about what we do, what's done to
us, and who we are to ourselves and each other …
We both pray for healing. With our families and our church, we agonize
before God for a return to the day when Elizabeth can offer an open
handshake instead of a permanently clenched fist, or take a flight of stairs
without thought.
But if we only grieve the loss, we miss the gain—that what
this disease does to us may also be done for us. Even as
the MS steals abilities from Elizabeth's life, a healing grows
almost undetected inside. When we talk about this,
Elizabeth wonders aloud, "Did it really take this to teach
me that my soul is more important to God than my body?"
And I ask, "Is this what Jesus meant when he taught his
disciples to serve? When he washed their feet, did he look
2,000 years into the future and see me washing my wife's
clothes and helping her onto her shower seat to bathe? Did
it really take this to teach me compassion?" …
God's healing can be sneaky. We pray that Elizabeth will
resume her old life; he wants her to assume a new life. We
long for change on the outside; he desires change on the
inside. We pray for what we want; he answers with what he
knows we need …
[God] has made me question whom it is I love. When I pray
for healing, is it for Elizabeth? Or is it because her healing
would make life so much easier for me? I challenge, "Aren't
you the God who heals? I love her and I want her well." But
in the back of my mind I know I also want her healed for
me.
In response to my challenge, Jesus asks me as he asked
Peter, "Do you love me more than these?" I think, He wants
me to love him more than my wife. So I reply with Peter's
words, "Yes, Lord. You know that I love you."
"Tend my lambs," he tells me …
The exposure shames me. Do I love him more than these?
This is the love of Matthew 22:37–39 that commands me to
love God with all that's within me, with all my heart, soul,
and mind, and to love my neighbor—my wife—as I would
myself.
Loving what I want for myself isn't even on the list. It's not
in me to love like that, except that God has promised that
his love "has been poured out within our hearts through
the Holy Spirit who was given to us" (Romans 5:5, NASB).
God has given me an impossible command, but he has
given me the power to obey it.
The intruder still resides in our home, still presents us with
new challenges each day, and still teaches us forceful
lessons on submission, dependence, service, and a love
that endures all things and never fails—even when I fail.
Strange as it may seem, that intruder is beginning to look
more and more like a guest.
Dick Peterson, "Living with an Intruder," Marriage Partnership (Fall 2007), pp. 18-19