Lecture X

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Lecture 10
Attraction, Affiliation
and Love
Outline
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Attraction and Liking
Love
Attachment
Equity Theory
Interpersonal Communication
Relationship Dissolution
Interpersonal Attraction
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The attitudes we form about other
people, expressed along a dimension
ranging from like to dislike.
Factors Influencing Attraction
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Proximity (propinquity)
Repeated Exposure
Similarity
Affective State
Physical Attractiveness
Reciprocal Positive Evaluations
Frequency of Exposure and Liking in the
Classroom (from Moreland & Beach, 1992)
Attraction Rating
7
6
5
4
3
2
1
0
5
10
15
# of Times the RA came to Class
Likability of Target Person as a
Function of their Pick-Up Line
9
Likability
8
7
6
5
4
3
2
1
Cute/Flippant
Neutral
Type of Pick-Up Line
Direct
Evaluation of candidate as a function of
participants’ mood and knowledge of
political issues (Ottati & Isbell, 1996)
11
10
9
8
7
6
5
4
3
2
1
uniformed
informed
Negative
Positive
What is Love?
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Companionate vs. Passionate Love
Love Styles (Lee, 1976; Hendrick &
Hendrick, 1992)
Triangular Theory of Love (Sternberg,
1986, 1987)
Companionate vs. Passionate
Love
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Companionate Love
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The affection we feel for those with whom
our lives are deeply intertwined
Passionate Love
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A state of intense longing for union with
another. Passionate lovers are absorbed in
one another, feel ecstatic at attaining their
partner’s love, and are disconsolate on
losing it.
Love Styles (Hendrick &
Hendrick, 1992)
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Eros
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passionate
physical appearance
Ludus
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friendship
slow-moving to
commitment
Mania
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game-playing
no commitment
Storge
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Agape
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possessive
obsessive
altruistic
gentle, caring, dutiful
Pragma
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pragmatic
match on vital statistics
The Triangular Theory of Love
(Sternberg, 1988)
Commitment
Passion
Intimacy
Emotions and Misattribution
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The Two-Factor Theory of Emotion
(Schachter & Singer, 1962)
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Experience physiological arousal
Try to explain the arousal.
Misattribution of Arousal
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The process whereby people mistakenly
infer what causes them to feel the way
they do
What is Love?
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Prototypical close relationship between 2
adults (Hazan & Shaver, 1994)
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Sexual system
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Care-giving
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Concomitant feelings of excitement and physical
gratification
Desire to protect the other, to offer comfort and to
receive comfort
Attachment
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Emotional bond between two people that keeps them
close both physically and emotionally
Attachment
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Parent-child relationships
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Secure
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Avoidant
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Characterized by trust, a lack of concern with being
abandoned and the view that one is worthy and well
liked
Characterized by a suppression of attachment needs
Anxious/ambivalent
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Characterized by a concern that others will not
reciprocate one’s desire for intimacy, resulting in higherthan-average levels of anxiety
Attachment
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2 Kinds of Avoidant Attachment
(Bartholomew, 1990; Bartholomew &
Horowitz, 1991)
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Fearful Avoidant
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Characterized by avoidance of close relationships
because of mistrust and fears of being hurt
Dismissive Avoidant
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Characterized by claims of self-sufficiency and no need
for close relationships
Social Exchange and Equity
Theories
Social exchange theory states that how people feel
about their relationships will depend on their
perception of the rewards they receive from the
relationship and their perception of the costs they
incur, as well as
their perception of what kind of relationship they
deserve and the probability that they could have a
better relationship with someone else.
Social Exchange Theories
In other words, the basic concepts of social
exchange theory are reward, cost, outcome,
comparison level, and comparison level for
alternatives (Thibaut & Kelly, 1959).
The outcome of a relationship is based on rewards
minus costs. If this is negative, the relationship is
not in good shape.
Social Exchange Theories
How satisfied you are with your relationship depends
on your comparison level.
Comparison level: people’s expectations about the
level of rewards and punishments they deserve in a
relationship.
If a given relationship doesn’t match the expected
comparison level, people will be unhappy and
unsatisfied.
Social Exchange Theories
How satisfied you are with your relationship also
depends on your comparison level for alternatives.
Comparison level for alternatives: People’s
expectations about the level of rewards and
punishments they would receive in an alternative
relationship.
Equity Theory
Equity theory holds that people are happiest with
relationships in which the rewards and costs a
person experiences and the contributions he/she
makes to the relationship are roughly equal to the
rewards, costs, and contributions of the other
person.
Social Exchange in Long-Term Relationships
The investment model of relationships holds that
people’s commitment to a relationship depends on
their satisfaction with the relationship in terms of
i) the rewards, costs, and comparison level
ii) their comparison level for alternatives
iii) how much they have invested in the
relationship that would be lost by leaving it
© 2001 Pearson Education Canada Inc.
© 2001 Pearson Education Canada Inc.
Relationship Dissolution
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Ways of coping with a failing
relationship (Rusbult et al., 1986, 1987)
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Loyalty
Neglect
Voice
Relationship Dissolution, Cont.
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Strategies to end a relationship (Baxter,
1982)
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Withdrawal/avoidance
Positive tone
Manipulation
Open confrontation
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