Social Relations
Altruism
Defined as the ethical philosophy where one considers the interests of others as more
important than one’s own interests, altruistic behavior occurs only after we have been able
to first notice the incident, then to interpret it as an emergency, and finally to assume
responsibility for helping.
From the research of Darley and Latané (1968), it has been proven that the presence of
others “bystander intervention” highly affects our willingness to help. The results have
shown that if we feel like we are the only one hearing the call for help then it makes us feel
more like we are the one suppose to help compared to when there are people around us
which makes us feel like we are not the only one hearing it and therefore not suppose to
respond to it. However, our eagerness to help also relies on other factors which are listed
below:
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We have just observed someone else being helpful
We are not in a hurry
The victim appears to need and deserve help
The victim is some way similar to us
We are in a small town or rural area
We are feeling guilty
We are focused on others and not preoccupied
We are in a good mood
Gender difference ie men often help women with carrying their grocery bags
But then why do we help? We help because we tend to believe that the benefits that we will
gain from the transaction outweigh the cost “social exchange theory”. A practical example
would be that the time you would spend directing a way to someone goes beyond the joy
that will overwhelm you after you have accomplished this good act.
Aggression
It is the act of attacking mentally or physically without been provoked and usually with an
intention to hurt or destroy attached to it.
Biological factors that influence our aggressivity are:
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Genetic: genes are thought of passing some aggressive behaviors, some animals are
then bred for the purpose
Neural: shows that when stimulated the brain reacts. Aggressivity does not lie in us
but occurs according to particular contexts
Biochemistry: hormones, alcohol, testosterones, which are believed to be acting
agents on our aggressivity
Psychological factors which are believed to explain our aggressivity are:
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Frustration aggression principle which shows that a person’s sufferings sometimes
gets the worst out of him. “Those made miserable often make others miserable”
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Behavioral manner which states that if acting violently helps us get what we want
then we might adopt the attitude
TV, correlation is not causation so television does not affect how violently we react
however it may happen that already violent people watch aggressive shows or
children whose parents act in an aggressive manner often end up watching these
shows
Video games do not make us violent but they do contribute and the reason is that
the fact that we practice more violence it becomes part of us
Sexual harassment arises from a combination of factors like violent excitement,
violent related ideas, erosion of one’s inhibitions and from imitation. Repeated
viewing of pornography makes sexual aggression seem less serious
Then what causes violence? There is no clear response to this question since a lot of factors
demonstrate the term but do not really give a relevant explanation. But as Sigmund Freud
argued “our species has a volcanic potential to erupt in aggression” meaning that it lies
deeply in every one of us but it is just waiting for the best time to bust flames out.
Altruism vs Aggression
What must be remembered from these two concepts is that either should not be considered
as a pro/antisocial behavior and be initially part of our personality “internal disposition”. It
must however be noticed that both exist within us but erupt according to the external
situation that confronts us
Attraction
This group was asked to take a look at two major concepts, - Prejudice and
Attraction. Under Attraction, we found so many components. We found out “how we can
win others’ affection and what makes our own affections flourish or fade.” Under affection,
there is proximity, physical attraction, similarity, passionate love and companionate love.
This paper helped us understand how close friendships can turn into love.
It all starts with Proximity and proximity is defined as “geographic nearness which is
the most powerful predictor of friendship. Proximity provides the opportunities for
aggression but it normally breeds liking.” From the text, it states that study after study have
revealed that people are most likely to like, and even to marry, those who live in the same
neighborhood, who sit nearby in class, who work in the same office, who share the same
parking lot. LOOK AROUND! It follows with physical attractiveness because once proximity
affords you contact, the thing that affects your first impressions. A study was done by Elaine
Hatfield in 1966 to prove that physical attractiveness has wide-ranging effects, it predicts
frequency of dating, feelings of popularity etc. she did this by randomly matching new
university students for a welcome week dance. The students danced for two hours and
researchers found out that only one thing mattered in the dance and that was physical
attractiveness. Feingold also suggested that “although women are more likely than men to
say that an others looks don’t affect them, a man’s looks do affect women’s behavior.” The
next component is similarity. After proximity has brought you into contact with someone
and your appearance had a positive influence, what’s the next step to determine whether
friends will be made? Researchers call it similarity. Are you alike? In recent times, people
believe that “opposites react” this component is not telling us that you have to act the same
way to like someone but you have to have a common interest, beliefs religion etc. before
love can sustain. A journalist Walter Lippmann supposed that love can sustain “when the
lovers love many things together, and not merely each other.” Similarity counts!
The text also shows us that occasionally people move quickly from initial impressions
to friendship to more intense, complex, and mysterious state of romantic love. The text
further gives us the types and definition of two types of love: temporary passionate love and
a more enduring companionate love. Passionate love is defined as “an aroused state of
intense positive absorption in another usually present at the beginning of a love relationship.
Hatfield suggests that there are two contributing factors to passionate love and they are: (1)
“emotions have two ingredients-physical arousal plus cognitive appraisal” and (2) “arousal
from any source can enhance one emotion or another, depending on how we interpret and
label the arousal. He went further to explain a study that had 2 men that were aroused by
fright and they were then introduced to an attractive woman which made them more
attracted to her. The point of this study was to show that unlike men who are not aroused,
those aroused are likely to be more attracted than they should be when in an aroused
situation. Companionate love can be defined as the deep affectionate attachment we feel
for those with whom our lives are intertwined. This can be explained as the passion of
romantic love, the intense absorption in the other and the thrill of romance. Ellen Berscheid
noted that the failure to appreciate passionate love’s limited half-life can doom a
relationship. She says “if the inevitable odds against eternal passionate love in a relationship
were better understood, more people might choose to be satisfied with the quieter feelings
of satisfaction and contentment.” Which do our generation prefer, Passionate Love or
Companionate love?
Prejudice
Prejudice is a negative attitude towards a group (religion, race, cultural, gender etc.)
prejudice is a mixture of belief (stereotype); emotions (envy, fear); and predispositions
(discriminate). Prejudice influence how we notice and interpret events. In a study by
Duncan, 1976, most white participants perceived a white man shoving a black man as
“horsing around: when they saw a black man shove a white man, they interpreted the act as
“violent.”
In modern days, blatant prejudice wanes and subtle prejudice lingers. Socially
speaking, most people are more comfortable dating another race and this was proven by a
survey carried out 390 colleges and universities by Schoenfeld, 1995).
There are four major definitions associated with Prejudice and they are Ingroup,
outgroup, ingroup bias and scapegoat theory. Ingroup is defined as people with whom one
shares a common identity, this group is usually referred to as the “us” group. Outgroup is
defined as those perceived as different or apart from one’s ingroup and this group is usually
referred to as the “them: group. The ingroup bias can be defined as the tendency to favor
one’s own group and last but not the least, the scapegoat theory which is defined as the
theory that prejudice provides an outlet for anger by providing someone to blame. There are
roots of prejudice and they are the divisions of society, the passions of the heart, and also
from the mind’s natural workings. The three major roots of prejudice are categorization,
vivid cases and just the world phenomenon. One way we simplify the world is to categorize
and categorizations also biases our perception of diversity. Vivid cases are when we judge
the frequency of events by instances that readily come to mind. The “Just world
phenomenon” is blaming others and telling ourselves that good is rewarded and bad is
punished.
Relationship between Attraction and Prejudice
Prejudice and Attraction comes in to relation when a person or people tend to have
some judgmental perspective about a particular group hence they prefer to stay away from
these people and deem them incapable to be friends o relations in anyway. People stay
away from groups of people hence this can be referred to as Attraction based on Prejudice.
This is what many may refer to as discrimination or racism where a White Lady for no
specific reasons just does not want to be- friend people of another color or race or
sometimes nationality. It can be found that most of these behaviors are learned from the
society such people grew up in. As in, a kid who grew up in a society where everyone looked
down on being friends with blacks or having relationships with them, when such a person
grows this behavior would have built in and he/she would portray such a character.
So therefore, one should as much as possible try not to base Attractions on Prejudice
because it is not right for anyone to be judged before he has the chance to show the kind of
person he/she is.
CONFLICT AND PEACEMAKING
Conflicts
Conflicts can be simply termed as a perceived incompatibility of actions, feelings or ideas.
Conflicts can be grouped Into Internal and external where external is between two parties,
groups, individuals or Ideas OR internal where it is between making decision within oneself.
Conflicts are a major factor of our lives as humans it is a day-to-day affair. From our choice of
food for lunch, to whether or not we like today’s extracurricular activity are all forms of
conflicts.
Social Traps are situations in which the conflicting parties by each rationally pursuing their
self- interest, become caught in mutually destructive behavior
To explain further social traps occur when an individual is “trapped” in an idea or perception
in a conflict, such that that perception cannot change because that is what is expected by
society from them, it is their initial idea.
Such situations leave both participants of the conflict with no choice but to proceed with
what they have already started which may result in the conflict becoming more intense.
Wars begin from such instances.
Peacemaking
“You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist”
Indira Gandhi 1971
This is just to say that to make peace both sides involved have to be convinced or there
should be some form of negotiation in order to arrive at a sensible solution.
Peace and tranquility cannot prevail unless both sides agree to accept that their idea is
wrong.
Also to resolve a conflict, there should be some form of primary communication between
both parties; both parties should be committed to positive resolution.
Class Activity: Boys and Girls in the class are divided and asked to write as many reasons why
their gender is the better one then the girls walk up and say their reasons but the boys are
allowed to interrupt their speech if they disagree with any point.
Ways That Conflicts And Peacemaking are related
1. There cannot be peacemaking if there is no conflict. Peacemaking is the solution
to conflicts.
2. Conflicts are disagreements whilst Peacemaking is in a form of agreement.
3. We learn a lot from conflicts; we share ideas from when conflicting whilst living
peaceful all the time makes us kind of idle. Through a conflict like the World War
2 the world came together and formed the UN which now handles all such
matters to prevent another war.
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