Parents Place
Presented by Mark Purcell, Psy.D.
WORKSHOP OUTLINE
Why kids act the way they do
Causes for problem behaviors in children
Collaborative Problem Solving
Principles of Positive Discipline
Anger Management Interventions
 Aggression Replacement Training (ART)
 Anger Management Group
 DBT Skills for Positive Behavior Change
 Validation
 Behavior Chain Analysis
Why Kids Act the Way they Do
Biology
Heredity
Temperament
Cognitive Abilities/Challenges
Psychological
Environment
Self-Image
Peers
Self-Esteem
Family
Attachment
Social Support
School
Different Reasons Why Kids May
Do What they Do
 Behavioral – may be reinforced in some way
 Example: Tantrums to achieve desired outcome
 Intermitent reinforcement
 Emotional – may have trouble managing feelings
 Difficulty regulating emotions
 Cognitive – may have trouble problem solving
 Difficulty perceiving choices or ways to resolve conflict
A-B-C’s of Behavior
 A-B-C’s of Anger
 A= Antecedent (What triggered the problem?)
 B= Behavior (What did child do?)
 C=Consequence (To self and others)
Collaborative Problem Solving
 A more compassionate understanding and approach to
behaviorally challenged kids…
 The challenging behavior by children is due to lack of
appropriate skills rather than intentional
 Understand the emotion/reason behind the behavior.
Collaborative Problem Solving
 Why are challenging kids challenging?
 Kids do well if they can
 Doing well is always preferable to not doing well.
 If kids have the skills they would choose to do well.
Collaborative Problem Solving
 When are Challenging Kids Challenging?
 When demands/expectations exceed skills
 Determine situations that are most challenging to child
 Assessment of:
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Lagging Skills
Unsolved Problems
Collaborative Problem Solving
 What behaviors challenging kids exhibit when they
don’t have the skills to respond adaptively to demands?
 They let us know through numerous behaviors that they
are struggling
 It is more important to understand the Why and When
a child engages in challenging behavior than the What
s/he does.
Collaborative Problem Solving
 What can be done differently…
 Collaboratively solving the problem helps kids learn new
coping strategies
 When adults impose will/consequences, child’s
frustration increases and leads to more negative
behaviors.
Collaborative Problem Solving
 Three Steps:
Empathy Step – validate and understand what the
child is feeling and why
2. Define the Problem – entering into solve the
problem with the child
3. Invitation – Adult and child brainstorm solutions so
as to arrive at a plan that is realistic and mutually
satisfying.
1.
Sequence of Conflict Cycle
 Stressful event ACTIVATES
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youth’s irrational beliefs
(“Everyone hates me”)
Beliefs TRIGGER intense
feelings
Feelings DRIVE inappropriate
behaviors
Inappropriate behaviors INCITE
others
Others MIRROR negative
behaviors
Negative REACTION escalates
conflict into self-defeating
power struggle
Reinforcement of SELFFULFILLING PROPHECY
Youth’s Self-Concept
Irrational Beliefs
Adult/Peer
Reactions
Youth’s
Observable
Behavior
Stressful
Event
Youth’s
Feelings
Validation
•Search for, recognize and
reflect to the client the
validity inherent in his/her
response to events.
Validation
Level
Goal of Interaction
One
Listen Non-Judgmentally
Two
Accurate Reflection
Three
Articulate Unspoken Thoughts and
Feelings
Four
Understanding Historical
Background of Behavior
•Validate Feeling
•Then Address Behavior
•Do Not Validate the
Invalid
• 9:1 Ratio
–
9 Validations
–
1 Confrontation
Five
Six
Confirming Thoughts, Behaviors
and Feelings Based on Current
Circumstances
Radical Genuineness &
Authenticity
Chain Analysis Example
Good
mood
night
before
Argued
with
teacher
Bullied at
Recess
Stayed
up late
Teacher
criticized
Hit other
student
Tired
and
irritable
Late for
School
Suspended
Positive Discipline
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IDENTIFYING PROBLEM BEHAVIOR
Identify underlying need behind behavior
Identify problematic behaviors (not youth)
Clarify desired behavior
Reinforce positive behaviors
Discover youth strengths
Provide opportunities for belonging
Seek mutual responsibility among youth
Encourage use of “I” Statements
Positive Discipline
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RESPONDING TO PROBLEM BEHAVIOR
Set clear consistent consequences
Validate youth feelings first
Identify problematic behaviors
Offer cooling off place not punishment
Make first request for adaptive behavior
Reinforce (+) or Make second request
Remind youth of consequences
Reinforce (+) or Implement Consequences
Positive Discipline
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EFFECTIVE INTERACTIONS
Ignore (-) behaviors / Attend (+) behaviors
Even, calm, yet firm tone of voice
Remain matter-of-fact
Model 3 R’s:
 Recognize mistake
 Reconcile
 Resolve
Know Yourself
 Learning to say “No”
 Be aware of “buttons that get pushed” during
confrontation
 Be Consistent
 Be Non-Emotional
 Be Empathic
Aggression Replacement Training
(ART)
Anger Control Group Outline
1. A,B,C’s of Aggressive Behavior
2. Triggers
3. Cues & Anger Reducers
4. Reminders
5. Self-Evaluation
6. Thinking Ahead
7. Angry Behavior Cycle
8. Rehearsal of Full Sequence
A-B-C’s of Aggressive Behavior
 Explain nature of emotions
 Physical response to stimuli
 A-B-C’s of Anger
 A= Antecedent (What triggered the problem?)
 B= Behavior (What did you do?)
 C=Consequence (To self and others)
Triggers
 Introduce Hassle Log
 Provides accurate picture of conflicts that occur during
the week
 Helps group members learn what makes them angry
 Provides material for role-plays
 Explain Triggers
 External Triggers
 Internal Triggers
 Role Play Triggers
Cues & Anger Reducers
 Define anger and personal cues
 Self-Define what anger personally feels like
 Identify Physiological Cues of Anger
 Anger Reducers
 Deep Breathing and Relaxation
 Counting backwards
 Positive Visualizations
 Role Play
 Triggers + Cues + Anger Reducers
Reminders
 Self-Instructional Statements
 Used during potentially challenging or provoking
situations
 Examples
 “Take it Easy,” “Relax,” “Chill Out”
 Model Use of Reminders
 Role Play
 Triggers+Cues+Anger Reducers+Reminders
Self-Evaluation
 Group Members Self-Evaluate:
1. How well they handled a conflict
2. Reward themselves for handling it well
3. Find out how they could have handled it better
 Develop list of self-rewarding & self-coaching
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statements
Role Play:
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Triggers + Cues + Anger Reducers + Reminders + Self
Evaluation
Thinking Ahead
 Review A-B-C Model
 Help members think ahead about what the C
(consequence) will likely be of behavior
 Identify Short & Long Term consequences of being
aggressive
 Internal & External consequences of being aggressive
 Role Play:
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Triggers + Cues + Anger Reducers + Reminders + Self Evaluation
Review & Practice Anger Control
Strategies
Triggers
Cues
Anger
Reducer
Reminder
SelfEvaluation
Dialectical Behavior Therapy
 Mindfulness
 Distress Tolerance
 Interpersonal Effectiveness
 Validation
 Behavior Chain Analysis
States of Mind
Emotional
Mind
W
I
S
E
M
I
N
D
Rational
Mind
States of Mind
Emotional Mind
Wise Mind
Rational Mind
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Feeling - Centered
Logical thinking is
difficult
Facts are distorted to
match mood
You may be impulsive or
“Hot Headed”
Emotions are in control
Emotions influence and
control your thinking &
behavior
Operate in “Emo” Mode
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Thoughts + Feelings
Integrate best of
emotional & rational
minds
Viewing situation with
loving detachment
Observing & responding
Not Intense Reacting
Not Cool Distancing
Operate in “Wise” Mode
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Thought – centered
Emotions are ignored
Focus on Facts & Logic
Feelings of self & others
not considered
Cool and detached
Operate in “Robot” Mode
Distress Tolerance
Skills
Pro’s & Cons of Target
ACCEPTS for Distraction
 Activity
 Contribute
 Comparison
 (Opposite) Emotion
Behavior
Problem
Behavior
Continue
 Thoughts
Change
 Senses (Self-Sooth)
 Teach Radical Acceptance
Pro Con
Validation
•Search for, recognize and
reflect to the client the
validity inherent in his/her
response to events.
Validation
Level
Goal of Interaction
One
Listen Non-Judgmentally
Two
Accurate Reflection
Three
Articulate Unspoken Thoughts and
Feelings
Four
Understanding Historical
Background of Behavior
•Validate Feeling
•Then Address Behavior
•Do Not Validate the
Invalid
• 9:1 Ratio
–
9 Validations
–
1 Confrontation
Five
Six
Confirming Thoughts, Behaviors
and Feelings Based on Current
Circumstances
Radical Genuineness &
Authenticity
Chain Analysis Example
Good
mood
night
before
Argued
with
teacher
Bullied at
Recess
Stayed
up late
Teacher
criticized
Hit other
student
Tired
and
irritable
Late for
School
Suspended
Creating Environment of Mutual Respect
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Control
May provide immediate
solution
Necessary for Safety
Decreases Self Esteem
Punishment Based
Provides Attention to
Negative Behaviors
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Change
Harder to implement
Long term benefits
Teaches Social Skills
Teaches Mutuality
Increases Self Esteem
Attention to Positive
Behaviors
Creating an Atmosphere of Mutual
Respect
 Encourage Mutuality
 Involve Youth in Group Expectations
 Increase Group Cohesion
 Maintain Safety – Physical/Emotional
 Expectation of Respect
 Willingness to Negotiate
 Group Reinforcement: Goals & Rewards
 Agreed Upon Consequences