POLONIUS
Hamlet
Act II.ii
What treasure did he have, my lord?
POLONIUS enters.
POLONIUS
HAMLET
Well, (sings)
Gentlemen, I hope you are well.
One fine daughter, and no more,
HAMLET
Whom he loved more than anything—.
Listen, Guildenstern, and you too, Rosencrantz—listen as
POLONIUS
close as you can! (he gestures toward POLONIUS )This
(to himself) Still talking about my daughter, I see.
big baby is still in diapers.
HAMLET
ROSENCRANTZ
Aren’t I right, Jephthah, old man?
Yes, the second time around, since, as they say, old
POLONIUS
people become children again.
If you’re calling me Jephthah, my lord, I do have a
HAMLET
daughter I love more than anything, yes.
(whispering to ROSENCRANTZ and GUILDENSTERN)
HAMLET
I bet he’s coming to tell me about the actors; just watch.
No, that’s not logical.
(to POLONIUS) You’re right, sir, that happened on
POLONIUS
Monday morning.
What is logical, then, my lord?
POLONIUS
HAMLET
My lord, I have news for you.
Why, As if by chance, God knows,
HAMLET
and then, you know,
My lord, I have news for you. When Roscius was an actor
It happened, as you’d expect—
in ancient Rome —
If you want to know more, you can refer to the popular
POLONIUS
song, because now I have to stop.
The PLAYERS enter.
The actors have arrived, my lord.
HAMLET
Welcome, welcome to all of you. (he turns to one of the
Yawn, snore.
actors)—Oh, you, I’m glad to see you. (turns back to all
POLONIUS
of them)—Welcome, my good friends. (turns to another
I swear—
actor)—Oh, it’s you! You’ve grown a beard since I saw
HAMLET
you last. Are you going to put a beard on me too? (turns
—each actor arrived on his ass.
to an actor dressed as a woman) —Well hello, my young
POLONIUS
lady friend. You’ve grown as much as the height of a pair
They are the best actors in the world, either for tragedy,
of platform shoes at least! I hope your voice hasn’t
comedy, history, pastoral, pastoral-comical, historical-
changed yet. (to the whole company)—All of you are
pastoral, tragical-historical, tragical-comical-historical,
most welcome here. We’ll get right to business. First, a
one-act plays, or long poems. The tragic playwright
speech. Come on, give us a little speech to whet our
Seneca is not too heavy for them to handle nor is the
appetites. A passionate speech, please.
comic writer Plautus too light. For formal plays or freer
FIRST PLAYER
dramas, these are the best actors around.
Which speech, my lord?
HAMLET
HAMLET
Oh, Jephthah, judge of ancient Israel, what a treasure you
I heard you recite a speech for me once that was never
had!
acted out, or if it was, it was performed only once, since
the play was not popular—like caviar for a slob who
couldn’t appreciate it. But the critics and I found it to be
Seemed to hang in the air.
an excellent play, with well-ordered scenes that were
Pyrrhus stood there like a man in a painting,
clever but not fancy.
Doing nothing.
I remember one critic said there was no vulgar language
But just as a raging thunderstorm
to spice up the dialogue, and showing off on playwright’s
Is often interrupted by a moment’s silence,
part. That critic called it an excellent play, containing
And then soon after the region is split apart by dreadful
things to reflect upon as well as sweet music to enjoy. I
thunderclaps,
loved one speech in particular. It was when Aeneas told
In the same way, after Pyrrhus paused,
Dido about Priam’s murder. If you happen to remember
His newly awakened fury set him to work again.
this scene, begin at line—let me see, how does it go?
When the Cyclopses were making unbreakable armor
The rugged Pyrrhus, strong as a tiger—
No, that’s wrong; it begins like this:
For the god of war, their hammers never fell
So mercilessly as Pyrrhus’s bloody sword
Savage Pyrrhus, whose black armor was
Now falls on Priam.
As dark plans, and was like the night
Get out of here, Lady Luck, you whore! All you gods
When he crouched inside the Trojan Horse,
Should come together to rob her of her powers,
Has now smeared his dark armor
Break all the spokes on her wheel of fortune,
With something worse. From head to foot
And send it rolling down the hills of heaven
He’s now covered in red, decorated horribly
Into the depths of hell.
With the blood of fathers, mothers, daughters, sons.
POLONIUS
The blood is baked to a paste by fires he set in the
This speech is going on too long.
streets,
HAMLET
Fires that lend a terrible light to his horrible murders.
We’ll have the barber trim it later, along with your beard.
Boiling with anger and fire,
Please, continue, players. This old man only likes the
And coated thick with hard-baked blood,
dancing or the sex scenes; he sleeps through all the rest.
His eyes glowing like rubies, the hellish Pyrrhus
Go on, come to the part about Hecuba.
Goes looking for grandfather Priam.
FIRST PLAYER
Sir, take it from there.
But who—ah, the sadness—had seen the muffled queen—
POLONIUS
HAMLET
My God, that was well done, my lord, with the right
“The muffled queen”?
accent and a good ear.
POLONIUS
FIRST PLAYER
That’s good. “The muffled queen” is good.
Soon he finds Priam
FIRST PLAYER
Failing in his battle against the Greeks. His old sword,
Running back and forth, spraying the flames with her
Which Priam cannot wield anymore, lies where it fell.
tears, a cloth on that head where a crown had recently sat
An unfair opponent,
and a blanket instead of a robe wrapped around her body,
Pyrrhus rushes at Priam, and in his rage he misses;
which has withered from childbearing: anyone seeing her
But the wind created by his sword is enough to make
in such a state, no matter how spiteful he was, would have
The weakened old man fall. Just then the city of Ilium,
cursed Lady Luck for bringing her down like that. If the
As if feeling this fatal blow to its ruler,
gods had seen her while she watched Pyrrhus chopping
Collapses in flames, and the crash
her husband into bits, the terrible cry she uttered would
Captures Pyrrhus’s attention. His sword,
have made all the eyes in heaven burn with hot tears—
Which was falling onto Priam’s white-haired head
unless the gods don’t care at all about human affairs.
POLONIUS
Look how flushed the actor is, with tears in his eyes. All
ROSENCRANTZ and GUILDENSTERN exit.
right, that’s enough, please.
Now I’m alone. Oh, what a mean low-life I am! It’s awful
HAMLET
(to FIRST PLAYER) Very fine. I’ll have you perform the
rest of it soon. (to POLONIUS)—My lord, will you make
that this actor could force his soul to feel made-up
feelings in a work of make-believe. He grew pale, shed
sure the actors are made comfortable? Make sure you’re
good to them, since what they say about us later will go
down in history. It’d be better to have a bad epitaph on
our graves than to have their ill will while we’re alive.
real tears, became overwhelmed, his voice breaking with
feeling and his whole being, even, meeting the needs of
his act—and all for nothing. For Hecuba!
POLONIUS
My lord, I will give them all they deserve.
What is Hecuba to him, or he to Hecuba, that he would
weep for her? Just imagine what he would do if he had the
HAMLET
Good heavens, man, give them more than that! If you pay
cause for feeling that I do. He would drown the stage with
everyone what they deserve, would anyone ever escape a
whipping? Treat them with honor and dignity.
his tears and burst the audience’s ears with his terrible
words, drive the guilty spectators crazy, terrify the
POLONIUS
Come, everyone.
innocent ones, confuse the ignorant ones, and astound
HAMLET
Follow him, friends. We’ll watch a whole play tomorrow.
(to FIRST PLAYER) My friend, can you perform The
Murder of Gonzago?
absolutely everyone’s eyes and ears. But what do I, a grim
and uncourageous rascal, do? Mope around like a
dreamer, not even bothering with plans for revenge, and I
FIRST PLAYER
can say nothing—nothing at all—on behalf of a king
Yes, my lord.
whose dear life was stolen. Am I a coward? Is there
HAMLET
Then we’ll see that tomorrow night. By the way, if I were
anyone out there who’ll call me “villain” and slap me
to compose an extra speech of twelve to sixteen lines and
stick it into the play, you could learn it by heart for
hard? Pull off my beard? Pinch my nose? Call me the
tomorrow, right?
worst liar? By God, if someone would do that to me, I’d
FIRST PLAYER
take it, because I’m a lily-livered man—otherwise, I
Yes, my lord.
would’ve fattened up the local vultures with the intestines
HAMLET
Very well. Follow that gentleman now, and be careful not
to make fun of him.
of that low-life king a long time ago. Bloody, inhuman
villain! Remorseless, treacherous, sex-obsessed, unnatural
POLONIUS and the PLAYERS exit
My good friends, I’ll see you tomorrow. Welcome to
Elsinore.
ROSENCRANTZ
villain! Ah, revenge! What an ass I am. I’m so damn
brave. My dear father’s been murdered, and I’ve been
urged to seek revenge by heaven and hell, and yet all I
Yes, my lord.
can do is stand around cursing like a whore in the streets.
HAMLET
Ah yes, good-bye to you both.
Damn it! I need to get myself together here! Hmm…. I’ve
heard that guilty people watching a play have been so
affected by the artistry of the scene that they are driven to
Okay, ladies and gentlemen…you’ve finished reading
Act II, and Hamlet finishes the scene by reciting a
confess their crimes out loud.
very, very important soliloquy, the part I have
Murder has no tongue, but miraculously it still finds a
double-spaced. I want you to consider these
way to speak. I’ll have these actors perform something
like my father’s murder in front of my uncle. I’ll watch
questions and if you need to, please go back and
reread certain parts. These questions will guide our
discussion on Thursday, December 15th.
my uncle. I’ll probe his conscience and see if he flinches.
If he becomes pale, I know what to do. The ghost I saw
What is happening in Hamlet’s head in this act? In
your opinion, do you think he is crazy, or is he just
may be the devil, and the devil has the power to assume a
playing crazy? Also…consider this: is he hesitating
pleasing disguise, and so he may be taking advantage of
to act for a good reason, or is he being a coward?
my weakness and sadness to bring about my damnation. I
THAT is one of the biggest issues in this play, the
need better evidence than the ghost to work with. The
play’s the thing to uncover the conscience of the king.
idea of action vs. inaction. Is Hamlet hesitating too
much, or is he being smart right now?????
Further, what is the significance of Hamlet having
the players recite a scene about the fall of Troy?
Priam and Hecuba were king and queen of
Troy…look up the history of this ancient city if you
haven’t seen the movie with Brad Pitt. Now
consider that Shakespeare isn’t above making fun of
himself or the other Elizabethan playwrights. He
mocks himself through Polonius’ recital of at least
10 different forms of plays, some of which aren’t
even real. What does this do for our understanding
of Polonius? How has he expanded as a character?
Does he specifically violate any of the advice he
gives his son before he goes to France? Finally,
what outside forces are at work here? Who is
making the decisions in this Act and who is having
their decisions made for them? How does this
seemingly powerlessness impact the different
characters?
Phew…those are some heavy questions!!! You don’t
have to write out answers to that litany o’ queries,
but I DO want you to take some time and think
about the questions I’ve asked.