November: Respect
The Hebrew word for Respect is Kavod
Respect is treating people in a way that reflects
that they are created in God’s image. When we
show respect, we honor others (and ourselves)
because there is divinity in each of us.
What does the Jewish tradition say
about Respect?
Ben Zoma teaches in Pirkei Avot, “Who is
honorable? One who honors all others.”
(Avot 4:1)
According to Rabbi Bunim of P’shiskha,
everyone should have two pockets each
containing a piece of paper. On one should
be written, “The world was created for me”
and on the other, “I am but ashes and dust.”
Sometimes we must reach for one slip of
paper and sometimes for the other. The
secret of living with kavod is knowing which
one to reach for. See the Ideas for
Growth section on the next page for some
practice with this.
Mindfulness Guide
Try this meditation together:
Center yourself on a seat or the floor. Close your eyes. Take a
deep breath. And now another. Imagine that your body has a
light inside of it. Deep, deep down. It is the light of your soul. It
is the light of your own goodness. Imagine travelling through
your body down to that light and seeing the brightness surround
you. This is a place that is always available to you, just by
breathing deeply.
Follow your breath. Feel it go down your nose, following the
path all the way down into your belly. As your breath goes
down, you can feel your belly go out. Let it sit there for a
moment and see the glow of light. Then bring your breath back
up as though it were on an elevator going from your belly, up,
up, up and out through your nose.
Take another deep breath, down into your belly; let it be there
briefly and then as the breath comes up and out of your nose,
smile. Practice that three times. You are bringing the light of
your soul into the world.
Ideas for Growth
Have each member of the family write down the two
messages Rabbi Bunim spoke of, holding one in each
hand. Read the following scenarios and discuss which
paper you would reach for in each situation:
•
There is a girl in your class who just came back
from a trip to Spain. All she was doing was talking
about her adventures. You could tell that she was
excited to share, but you were feeling badly
because you haven’t had any trips like that.
Which paper would you pull out if you wanted to
give her the time to share her excitement?
Ideas for Growth cont.
•
There is a girl in your class who just
came back from a trip to Spain. All she
was doing was talking about her
adventures. You could tell that she was
excited to share, but there were a few
questions you had for the teacher about
the assignment and this girl would not
stop talking. Which paper would you pull
out if you wanted to get the answers to
your assignment questions before the
bell rings?
•
You and your parents are at a barbecue
at your cousin’s house. Your parents say
it’s time to go home, but you don’t want
to and so you yell, “I don’t want to go
home now! Let’s stay longer, PLEASE!”
Which paper would you pull out if you
wanted your parents to know that you
respect them?
•
You and your parents are at a barbecue
at your cousin’s. Your parents want to
stay, but you know that you have a lot of
homework to do and you’d like to do that
before you get too tired for school the
next day. You say, quietly to your mom,
“I know you want to stay but I really do
have a lot of homework to get done
tonight.” Which paper would you pull out
in this situation?
Questions for Family Discussion
•
Would your life look different if you respected yourself
more? How would you treat yourself with regard to
your health? To your work/schoolwork?
•
Share examples of giving and/or receiving kavod. How
did you feel? Where in your body could you feel this
feeling?
•
Read the following scenario: A boy is telling a group of
friends at Religious School about a family vacation he
just returned from. His sister interrupts him and loudly
says, “No… That’s not where we went first! That was
our second stop on the trip!” What is the impact of her
lack of respect toward her brother? On him? On her?
On the group of friends?
•
What are some ways you can honor members of your
family? Kids, try asking your parents what you could
do that would feel respectful. Parents, try asking your
kids the same question.
•
What are the ways in which you show respect for your
teachers/bosses? Is it different from how you show
respect to your peers? Why or why not?
•
What does it mean that we are each made in the Divine
image or that there is Divinity in each of us? How does
remembering this idea help us to act in respectful
ways?
Portions of this month’s packet are taken from the Family Tikkun Middot Curriculum,
Draft. 2014. Miki Young and Institute for Jewish Spirituality