Thinking Rightly about
Marriage & Sexuality
Thinking Rightly Series [4]
Matthew 19:4-6
© August 2, 2015
Pastor Paul K. Kim
WHY WE MUST THINK RIGHTLY
ABOUT MARRIAGE & SEXUALITY
In light of the SCOTUS decision legalizing same-sex marriage, it is even
more important for us to think rightly about this issue because . . .
• It is a DIVIDING/POLARIZING issue among evangelical
churches.
• It is an EMOTIONALLY CHARGED issue—many of us now have
our family members and close friends who are openly gay.
• It is a CONFUSING issue because of so many differing voices
[evangelical Christians are no longer the “moral majority” but
the “missional minority”].
• It is a COMPLEX issue.
— The New York Times, June 28, 2015 [by Michael Paulson]
“The dramatic shift in public opinion, and now in the nation’s laws,
has left evangelical Protestants, who make up about a quarter of
the American population, in an uncomfortable position. Out of
step with the broader society, and often derided as discriminatory
or hateful, many are feeling under siege as they try to live out
their understanding of biblical teachings, and worry that a
changing legal landscape on gay rights will inevitably lead to
constraints on religious freedom.
But the challenges are not only external. To a degree that is rarely
acknowledged in the public square, many evangelical churches are
also grappling with internal questions. Especially in and around
large urban areas, pastors increasingly report that some openly
gay and lesbian Christians are opting to worship in evangelical
congregations (“more and more are coming to our church,” Mr.
Allison said) and that heterosexual worshipers are struggling over
the church’s posture because friends or family members are gay.”
WHY WE MUST THINK RIGHTLY
ABOUT MARRIAGE & SEXUALITY
In light of the SCOTUS decision legalizing same-sex marriage, it is even
more important for us to think rightly about this issue because . . .
• It is a DIVIDING/POLARIZING issue among evangelical
churches.
• It is an EMOTIONALLY CHARGED issue—many of us now have
our family members and close friends who are openly gay.
• It is a CONFUSING issue because of so many differing voices
[evangelical Christians are no longer the “moral majority” but
the “missional minority”].
• It is a COMPLEX issue.
WHY WE MUST THINK RIGHTLY
ABOUT MARRIAGE & SEXUALITY
• It is a COMPLEX issue—it involves so many questions, such as:
 What does the Bible teach about marriage?
 Is homosexuality a civil-rights issue or a moral issue?
 What does the Bible teach about homosexuality?
 Is there such thing as a gay Christian/a gay pastor?
 Should Christian go to a same-sex wedding of a friend or family?
 What is the role of the church in responding to the impact of the
SCOTUS decision, going forward?
 How should we genuinely love LGBT people?
WHY WE MUST THINK RIGHTLY
ABOUT MARRIAGE & SEXUALITY
• It is a COMPLEX issue—but for now, we focus on these three:
 What does the Bible teach about marriage?
 Is homosexuality a civil-rights issue or a moral issue?
 What does the Bible teach about homosexuality?
 Is there such thing as a gay Christian/a gay pastor?
 Should Christian go to a same-sex wedding of a friend or family?
 What is the role of the church in responding to the impact of the
SCOTUS decision, going forward?
 How should we genuinely love LGBT people?
KEY UNDERLYING CAUSES FOR CONFUSION, DIVISION,
AND POLARIZATION AMONG CHRISTIAN CHURCHES
• LOW VIEW OF SCRIPTURE: Failure to have a priori submission
to the supreme authority of Scripture on faith and conduct.
• MAN-CENTERED WORLDVIEW: Failure to see the world from
the viewpoint of the Creator and the LORD as the center.
• BAD HERMENEUTICS: Failure to do an intellectually honest
work to find the author’s original intent for meaning.
• LACK OF “SALTINESS”: Failure of true Christ-followers to live
out as Christ’s sent people to show what true love looks like.
WHAT DOES SCRIPTURE REALLY
TEACH ABOUT MARRIAGE & SEXUALITY?
• Marriage is originated and designed by God for a lifelong
covenantal union between a man and a woman as husband and
wife, which reflects Christ’s eternal union to his church. (Matt.
19:4-6; Eph. 5:31-32).
4
He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them
from the beginning made them male and female, 5 and said, ‘Therefore
a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and
the two shall become one flesh’? 6 So they are no longer two but one
flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”
Matthew 19:4-6
 Common Objection: In NT, Jesus is clear about marriage but silent
about homosexuality; if so, why can’t two same-sex partners
marry each other for a lifelong covenantal relationship?
WHAT DOES SCRIPTURE REALLY
TEACH ABOUT MARRIAGE & SEXUALITY?
• Sex is originated and designed by God as a sacred oneness
between a husband and a wife in a monogamous relationship
(Ex. 20:14; 1 Cor. 7:9; Heb. 13:4).
9
But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry.
For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
1 Corinthians 7:9
4
Let marriage be held in honor among all,
and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God
will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.
Hebrews 13:4
 Common Objection: If some people have innate/involuntary
desire for homosexuality, isn’t sex with a same-sex partner only
natural for them?
WHAT DOES SCRIPTURE REALLY
TEACH ABOUT MARRIAGE & SEXUALITY?
• Homosexual practices—not same-sex attraction or desire—are
immoral and sinful in the sight of God (1 Cor. 6:9-10; Rom. 8:23;
Rom. 1:26-27).
9
Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not
inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived:
neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers,
nor men who practice homosexuality, 10 nor thieves, nor
the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers
will inherit the kingdom of God.
1 Corinthians 6:9-10
WHAT DOES SCRIPTURE REALLY TEACH ABOUT
MARRIAGE & SEXUALITY?
• Homosexual practices—not same-sex attraction or desire—are
immoral and sinful in the sight of God (1 Cor. 6:9-10; Rom. 8:23;
Rom. 1:26-27).
26
For this reason God gave them up to dishonorable passions.
For their women exchanged natural relations for those that are
contrary to nature; 27 and the men likewise gave up natural relations
with women and were consumed with passion for one another,
men committing shameless acts with men and receiving
in themselves the due penalty for their error.
Romans 1:26-27
WHAT DOES SCRIPTURE REALLY TEACH ABOUT
MARRIAGE & SEXUALITY?
• Homosexual practices—not same-sex attraction or desire—are
immoral and sinful in the sight of God (1 Cor. 6:9-10; Rom. 1:2627; Rom. 8:23).
 Common Objection: No one today would adhere to the farfetched OT laws—e.g., that any man who touches a woman
during her menstrual period is to be stoned to death, that
adulterers are to be executed and certain foods must never be
eaten. Moreover, the same-sex relationships condemned by the
NT are only exploitative ones—pederasty, prostitution, and
rape—not genuine same-sex love and relationships of today.
HOW SHOULD WE GENUINELY LOVE LGBT PEOPLE?
1) We must love them with CONVICTION IN GOD’S WORD by not
celebrating homosexual practice or same-sex marriage and by
pointing them to Christ’s truth humbly and patiently (Luke
21:33; Eph. 4:15; Prov. 27:6).
Heaven and earth will pass away,
but my words will not pass away.
Luke 21:33
The Same Words That God Spoke to Us
The current debate is plagued by this binary lens. Those on the left
try to lump everyone who disagrees with them into that right
side. If you don’t support, you hate. Meanwhile, those on the right
see compromise and spinelessness in anyone who doesn’t get redfaced and militant. If you don’t hate, you support. But true followers
of Christ will walk neither path. We have something to say that no
one else is saying, or can say. Distancing ourselves from both the
left and the right, we don’t celebrate homosexual practice, we
acknowledge God’s clear revealed word that it is sin; and we don’t
hate those who embrace homosexuality, we love them enough to
not just collapse under the societal pressure. We speak the truth in
love into this confusion, saying, simultaneously, “That’s wrong” and
“I love you.” We’re not the left; we say, this is wrong. And we’re not
the right; we say, you’re loved. We speak good news, with those
sweetest, deepest, most glorious words of the cross—the same
words that God spoke us—“You’re wrong, and you’re loved.”
— Jonathan Parnell
HOW SHOULD WE GENUINELY LOVE LGBT PEOPLE?
1) We must love them with CONVICTION IN GOD’S WORD by not
celebrating homosexual practice or same-sex marriage and by
pointing them to Christ’s truth humbly and patiently (Luke
21:33; Eph. 4:15; Prov. 27:6).
Heaven and earth will pass away,
but my words will not pass away.
Luke 21:33
2) We must love them with COMPASSION OF CHRIST not by
mere words but by love in action and thoughtfulness (1 John
3:18; Gal. 6:1; Col. 3:12).
Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved,
compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience
Colossians 3:12
Genuine Care and Compassion
My friend Bill is a practicing gay man. Shortly after Bill confided in
me about his lifestyle, I invited him to lunch. Even though I
disagreed with his lifestyle choice, I wanted to communicate that
we could still hang out together. When Bill asked me about my
beliefs on homosexuality, I shared that I believe the Bible is God's
Word and has 17 references to sexual sin. I made sure to point out to
Bill that just three of these references are about homosexuality.
That doesn't mean God isn't concerned about homosexuality, but
just that homosexuality isn't worse than other sexual sin. It's all sin.
What was fascinating was that Bill asked me to find those
references (Romans 1:18-32, 1 Corinthians 6:9-11 and 1 Timothy 1:9-11)
so he could look them up. After he read them, he wanted to talk
more about it. Bill hasn't changed his lifestyle, but he knows that I
value our friendship. He knows where I stand, but he is willing to
have these conversations because he knows I care about him.
— Jim Burns
THREE PRACTICAL QUESTIONS
FOR OUR EVERYDAY LIFE
1. In what ways are you convinced more of your need for
submitting to the supreme authority of Scripture on the
current issues of marriage & sexuality?
1. What is your first step toward having conviction in God’s Word
in loving LGBT people?
2. What is your first step toward having compassion of Christ in
loving LGBT people?