How are your behavior modification projects
going?
Chapter 11
Interpersonal Attractions of
Friendship and Love
Feelings of attraction can lead to liking and
perhaps to love and more lasting
relationships.
What factors contribute to attraction in
our culture?
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We often say that the way a person looks is
not what we’re mostly attracted to, but……..
Physical appearance has been found to be
the key factor in attraction and
consideration of partners for dates and
marriage
So…..what determines physical
attractiveness?
Cross-Culturally : large eyes, high
cheekbones, and narrow jaws.
Attractiveness in OUR culture
Height
- Associated with social dominance
- Tallness is an asset for men
- Tall women are viewed less positively
- Many males don’t like looking
up to women.
-Shortness is perceived
as a liability for both
males and females
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“Bigger is better” for both
men and women.
Men prefer larger breasts
but not as large as women
think
Large breasted women
encounter negative stereotyping
less intelligent
less competent
less moral
less modest
Weight
-Plumpness is valued in many cultures
-In Western culture:
slender is attractive
obese people are considered unattractive
-Men actually prefer women to be
heavier than women expect
Behaviors
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Both Men and Women are perceived as more
attractive when they’re smiling
College men who show dominance were
rated as more attractive by women
Women are expected to be demure
Stereotypes
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Attractive children and adults are judged and treated
more positively than their unattractive peers
Attractiveness – positively correlated with popularity,
social skills, and sexual experiences
Unattractive individuals – more likely rated as
outside mainstream – political, radical, maladjusted
Attractive people more likely to be found innocent of
burglary, or if found guilty – get a lighter sentence
Interpretations of data:
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Biological
Psychological
Matching Hypothesis
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We’re most likely to ask out people who are
similar to ourselves in physical attractiveness
Explanation of Mismatching
Partners tend to be similar in
race, age, level of edu.,
and religion
Similarities
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Similarity in attitudes and tastes is a key
contributor to initial attraction, friendship, and
love relationships.
Women tend to place more/greater emphasis
than men do on attitude similarity as a
attraction.
Attitudes toward religion and children are
generally MORE important in mate selection
than such things as kindness or professional
status.
Coping with differences.
Sexual Orientation
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Organization or direction of one’s erotic interests
Sexual activity with members of same gender does
not define sexual orientation
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Culture
Curiosity
Research suggest gay individuals do not “choose”
their orientation
Many gay individuals identify with their own gender
Origin of sexual orientation
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Psychological Theory
Biological Theory
Friendship
“One loyal friend is worth ten thousand relatives.”- Euripides
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Different friendship relationships throughout
life.
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Early Childhood
Middle School
High School
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Cliques
Crows
Later Adulthood
Keeping Confidence and loyalty are the
biggest qualities we seek in a friend
Love
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The most valued and deeply stirring emotions
A complex concept involving:
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Emotional
Cognitive
Motivational
Clyde & Susan Hendrix’s 6 Styles of Love
-Eros (romantic)
-Pragma(logic)
-Ludus (game)
-Mania(possessive)
-Storge(friendship) -Agape(selfless)
Sternberg
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Suggested that love consists of three
components
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Intimate: emotional component
Passion: motivational component
Commitment: Cognitive Component
Different combinations equal different kinds
of love
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INTIMACY
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INTIMACY ALONE--> LIKING
/\
/ \
/ \
/
\
/
\
/
\
/
\ COMPANIONATE LOVE
/
\
ROMANTIC /
\ INTIMACY + COMMITMENT
LOVE
/
\
/
\
INTIMACY + PASSION / INTIMACY + \
/ PASSION + \
/ COMMITMENT = \
/ CONSUMATE
\
/
LOVE
\
/
\
/
\
/
\
PASSION ALONE--> INFATUATION COMMITMENT ALONE--> EMPTY LOVE
/_________________________\
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PASSION
FATUOUS LOVE
COMMITMENT
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PASSION + COMMITTMENT
=================================================================
Quick Assignment
What is your opinion of:
-cohabitation
-divorce