First Draft
9/11/15
The Bisexual Space
Bisexuality: the potential to be romantically and/or sexually attracted to people of
more that one sex and/or gender. These romantic and/or sexual attractions do not
necessarily appear at the same time, in the same way, or to the same degree.
Bisexuality is fluid by definition; every bisexual holds to themselves a unique experience.
Monosexuality is directly challenged by bisexuality. Fluidity disrupts cultural
binaries, binaries that have been foundational. For many it’s hard to conceptualize a
sexuality that isn’t static, a sexuality that finds its grounding in the very disruption of
binaries. Change is a certainty and inevitability of life; people are comfortable with
change in the abstract, but few seem to allow shifts in identity. Because binaries are the
norm, the existence of an identity beyond the binary (the change of the understanding of
the binary) is too much for society as a whole.
Historically and culturally, bisexuality is refused in the present tense. Many do not
understand that an identity is stable even when aspects that make up that identity are
not. A bisexual’s identity is always grounded, no matter the gender of their current
partner.
*
What is home and what is space? We all have a body. We have physical matter
that manipulates the world around us. We enter a room and the space changes; our
movements, our physicality produces and changes what surrounds us. Matter is neither
created nor destroyed; we exist and intrinsically hold space.
But the bisexual may not have space; where is the home for the bisexual when
home is defined by visibility? Space is performativity of the body and bisexuals have
bodies. Space is created by practices, but bisexuality directly challenges monosexual
logic. The bisexual exists and creates space by self-identifying beyond the binary, by
being attracted to more than one sex/gender, and by pursuing sexual behavior towards
more than one sex/gender. The foundations of these homes do not allow for these
bisexual practices.
Both space and home transcend the physical. Space is performativity and
practices and lived experience and the way in which language represents. Through
language, identities are presented and negotiated; space expands or contracts
depending on the language bisexuals use.
*
Space is created and managed through the body’s physical productions as well
as productions that extend beyond physicality. Space is physical as well as
metaphysical. Space is not just one.
Over the course of their forty-three year long relationship, Bryher and H.D.
managed to exist beyond the physical. The space they created was filled with letters of
devotion that maintained their love and dependence upon one another. Their space was
fluid, and allowed for the inclusion of other lovers.
There is a tendency to link spaces with identity; and with that logic, bisexuals
have only ever existed as tourists in the spaces of others. Seeming to come and go as
they please, a bisexual’s location is dependent on their current relationship; this logic is
grounded in the present. A bisexual woman with another woman is allowed into the
lesbian fold, but only for as long as she maintains the same sex/gender relationship. The
bisexual woman’s access to the homosexual space is revoked as soon as she enters
into a relationship with a man. Then she is only allowed access into the heterosexual
space. A bisexual’s visibility seems to not exist because sexuality is assumed and seen
as dependent upon the current relationship. Historically and culturally, bisexuality is
refused in the present tense. Bisexuals are supposedly tourists because they have the
ability to move; they are not confined to a singular space.
By this logic, H.D. was a true tourist. Physically, she spent her life traveling from
place to place. But in terms of sexual space, H.D. never settled as well. She had her
moments of monogamy, but it appears that H.D. didn’t stay in one relationship for long.
Her only husband, Richard Aldington, encouraged freedom among lovers, and H.D. took
that mentality to heart. She expressed her bisexuality freely with multiple affairs,
spreading her love and devotion to only the most worthy squires, regardless of their
gender.
But H.D.’s bisexuality is not representative of all bisexuality; while she might not
have accepted the term; by twenty-first century definitions H.D. was a polyamorous
bisexual. This particular bisexuality, while valid in its own right, adds to the harmful
stigma that bisexuals are inherently unable to remain monogamous. Bisexuals are seen
as tourists for it’s assumed that their nature refuses them the ability to exist in one place.
It is the potential and the idea of potential that frightens people. Just as bisexuals are
only seen through their present, so too looms the threat of the potential future. The
bisexual woman is “really” a lesbian because she is with a woman, but at the same time
she is “seeking attention” or “going through a phase” because there is the assumed
inevitability of her going to a man.
Bisexuality is, in many ways, two-things at once. It is a sexuality that shouldn’t
exist within our gay/straight binary. Past sexologists acknowledged bisexuality’s role as
a prehistoric or precultural state, and yet refused to validate any definition of bisexuality
as an adult identity. It is a sexuality that is always seen in movement. But movement
does not equate to not being able to be monogamous.
*
Space is representation and in the fall of 1929 H.D., Bryher, Kenneth
Macpherson, and a group of their friends created a visual representation of the liminal
space the three of them primarily lived in. Borderline was a film focused on the lives of
those living in liminal spaces: “borderline social cases, not out of life, not in life.” Set in
some unspecified European town, the characters all deal with experiences of being on
that borderline, of existing and yet never fully gaining access. Macpherson, who also
identified himself as bisexual, wrote and directed the film; thus, allowing the possibility
that the film acted as projection of his experiences, and of those close around him (H.D.
and Bryher).
H.D. enjoyed herself during filming. She felt fulfilled as she used her own private
suffering as motivation for her character, Astrid, who “is and is not outcast, is and is not
a social alien, is and is not a normal human being.” The film provided the outlet to
frustrations building in H.D., the frustrations of having to create new spaces wherever
she went. Through the film she was lifted from her fears of disapproval and isolation.
She found her space in the representation of lacking space.
*
Home is the space where one can be themselves. Home is about comfort, the
mentality of safety rather than a physical structure. Home is the feeling of peace that
starts in the center and spreads, limbs seeming to grow lethargic with comfort. Stability,
in some form or another, is a natural desire. We all want some form of solid ground,
something for us to return to.
Kenwin was built with the motivation of creating a home. Bryher wanted a
fortress for her own, a place to escape unnecessary surveillance, and welcome and
entertain close friends. Located in Switzerland near Riant Château, Kenwin’s intention
was that of a safe haven.
But H.D. never saw Kenwin in that light; Kenwin was a home and a prison.
It was amidst the modern architecture and contrasting woods that H.D. was faced
with the realization of her position. Kenwin’s helmswoman was Bryher, with her husband
Kenneth Macpherson as assistant-squire. H.D. was left to question her role; as neither
mistress of the establishment nor guest, H.D.’s position in relation to Bryher and
Macpherson was ambiguous. Despite being in relationships with both Bryher and
Macpherson, H.D. was unable to find solid ground at Kenwin. Unlike Bryher and
Macpherson, H.D. found little stability in Kenwin. While she would return, it was never for
as long as her partners, or as often.
Home is not always a physical comfort. For some, possibly H.D., home is a more
mental concept. Home is constant letters of devotion as opposed to living together in a
secluded modern house. Home is trips togethers as opposed to working through the
specifics of dealing with a much needed and intensive house-staff. H.D. needed intimate
living arrangements, ones not accessible at Kenwin. But she was still able to find a home
in the people at Kenwin, in the steady reminder that she had devotees to return to
whenever she pleased.
*
The question remains of a bisexual space and where bisexuals can exist.
Culturally, the space is restricted with both heterosexual and homosexual spaces
choosing to limit bisexual access. But on a more fundamental level, when looking at our
bodies and lived experiences, we see bisexuals as H.D.
Bisexuals have space because they exist and are continuing to exist. Physical
attraction to multiple genders and the use of language to self-identify: space is
constantly moving, shifting, and being created through the productions of bisexuals.