Plankton
My name is Sheldon J. Plankton, and I will take over the krabby patty formula,
Mwahahahaha! “According to my calculations you’ve already tried twenty-six times, and are out
of ideas!” said Karen (Plankton’s wife). Yeah well I will come up with more, because I will not
stop until I have that formula. “Right, well why don’t you write down all your failures to make it
easier?” Hmm…. I know what! I can write down all that I have tried, so it will be easier for me to
think up of new ideas! “Wow, it’s no wonder he hasn’t been able to get the krabby patty formula.
1. Let’s see what was my first one? Oh yes, now I remember. It took my quite a few days
to get this scheme ready, because I had to make a device that would enable me to
control SpongeBob’s mind. The next few steps were very easy, luckily. During the day
while SpongeBob was away I hid under one of his flowers on his bed, and waited for until
he would go to sleep. At night I got out from under the flower and started to play my
evil laugh record (because my plan was actually going very well)! I then went into
SpongeBob and went to his brain. There I plugged in my device, and turned it on.
Immediately SpongeBob woke up and did what I commanded him to, boy was I overjoyed!
Along the way I “accidentally” destroyed some things, but SpongeBob was quite
annoying. We passed into Squidward’s house and by then SpongeBob knew something was
wrong and asked for, help but of course Squidward didn’t care. Finally we got to the
Krusty Krabb, and I commanded him to make me a krabby patty, and I was so overjoyed
that he started to do just so! At last we made it to the Chum Bucket, and there I
commanded SpongeBob to drop the krabby patty into a device that would tell me its
contents. But the stupid fool tried to otherwise, but eventually gave up. He was just
about to drop the krabby patty in, but instead tricked me, with my own desires!
“And look how great that turned out.” Oh Karen you’re just jealous that you don’t have the
spotlight! Now just let me finish the list.
2. Let’s see what was my second try? Oh yes I remember! It was during a cloudless chilly
night that I tried to steal the formula. No one was around so I decided to go for it, and
got into the Krusty Krabb. In a few minutes until I got my hands on a yummy, delicious
krabby patty! But I made myself wait until I had gotten home until I would let myself
eat anything. But boy was that a great mistake! On my way home stupid SpongeBob and
Patrick captured me along with many others, thinking we were aliens. Boy do those two
make me mad!
“Maybe if you had just eaten when you got the chance you would know what a krabby patty
tastes like.” Karen! I’m in no mood to hear you talk bad about me, and if I do remember right
you were the one who told me to wait, so we could experiment, and see how it was made. “Well
it’s not my fault that you chose to listen to me, considering that you don’t half the time!”
3. Humph…. Let me just get on will you! This plan I thought was actually quite well and
almost worked. I decided that I could try and trick them into giving me the krabby
patty, so I dressed as a magician, and went down to the krusty krabb. The stupid fool
let me right on in, and let me do an act! I asked for a volunteer, and started going
around the room, checking everyone out. And that was when I made my act!! I quickly
grabbed a krabby patty, and was on my way. “But that wasn’t all, hahahahaha” will you
just let me tell the story Karen! But then the stupid fool, krabbs, got in my way. So I
decided to try and do an actual trick. I wanted to erupt and leave in a ball of fire, but
instead burnt myself. “and Mr.Krabbs got away”
Well it could have worked, I just should have had more time to practice some tricks, and then
I would have gotten it... “Right.”
4. Now this next plan was pure genius. But it was also a big nuisance, I had to befriend
SpongeBob. It wasn’t hard though, and I came up with a really good song!
It was a nice sunny day when I came to SpongeBob, and just started to talk to him.
Immediately we became “best friends” hahaha… along the way he taught me about
friendship, and told me a song. “F is for friends that do stuff together, u is for you and
meeee, N is for anywhere anytime at alllll, here in the deep blue sea!” He sure was annoying,
but I got to make a song of my own too. “F is for fire that burns down the city, u is for
uranium—BOMBS, n is for no survivors!” but anyways, after that we went to the movies,
and there SpongeBob got a krabby patty. During the movie I got it and ran! Except I ran
right into the wall, and SpongeBob got the krabby patty from me.
“Boo hoo you failed again…. Which is no surprise” really Karen! I almost got it. “Well too bad the
idea almost broke the poor boys heart.” yeah, yeah…… let me get on with my story would you!
5. This time I decided to start a new restaurant called Chum Bucket Mega Bucket, and it
would be at the goo lagoon beach. At first it was very difficult because I couldn’t get
people to leave, even with a megaphone! But then SpongeBob came and I guilt tripped
him into helping me, the fool! Even so it was difficult, because he was so naïve and nice,
instead of forceful and assertive. When I almost gave up on him, he started to actually
try, and achieved. And that’s good because otherwise I would have had to change the
plan. We were getting so much done that day, but all of a sudden SpongeBob had to go
and quit on me! And you want to know the reason…… because he didn’t like my plan, not
everything in the world is fair. But to make things even worse he went and got everyone
to come back to Goo Lagoon! I’ll get my revenge one day!!! Mwahahaha!!
“I’m getting very sleepy Plankton, why don’t you just get on with your stories already!” isn’t
Karen just great… “I can hear you.”
6. This plan was actually one of my best, and I very nearly achieved the krabby patty
formula. I made a robot and commanded it to go to the krusty krabb; there he told
SpongeBob he would give 1,000,000 dollars to him for the krabby patty formula. The
stupid boy declined, and said he would have to talk to Mr. Krabbs about it in private,
that’s when I lost it and attacked SpongeBob. He sure was surprised, but I ended up
being thrown back to the Chum Bucket. Then I thought of creating a robotic Mr. Krabbs
to trick the boy! I went on over, but was mostly in hiding, because the real Krabbs kept
talking and going back to SpongeBob. But finally I threw out a penny for Krabbs to go
find, and then got my chance. But it turns out I had to do some ritual for 6 and ½ hours!!
Finally we were on the last part when stupid Krabbs walks in. So SpongeBob tested us,
and I got all the answers right, while the real one gets them all wrong…… so I was about
to grab the krabby patty formula when Krabbs threw a penny in my talking slot, and I
blew up.
“Hahahaha look how good it worked out for you!” Wow that’s so funny, just shut up would you!
7. It was a nice day (like always) and I struck a deal with krabbs. Of course krabbs agreed,
and I ended up winning! For my prize I got SpongeBob as my new cook. Immediately I
took SpongeBob to the Chum Bucket, but of course he wouldn’t make a krabby patty. So
for about a week I went around doing whatever the boy wanted….. Finally I told him if
he didn’t make a krabby patty I would take his brain out, and put it into a robot! Of
course he wouldn’t listen to me. But I did it, and he sure was sorry then. I was so
excited, but of course my plan failed.
“Of course it did, since it was his brain it was still technically him.” I know that now, Karen!
8. I remember this one quite well, since it was so odd! My first part of the plan failed… I
got into a ketchup bottle and was going to get the formula that way. But then I got
squeezed out, and eaten… of course. But for part 2 I made a device to where I switched
bodies with Mr. Krabbs!!! That sure was horrible, every second something happened. And
his daughter, of his daughter was terrible. She made an ocean with her tears. Finally I
couldn’t take it any longer, and decided to switch bodies back.
“You didn’t even get the formula.” You think I didn’t know…
9. Now this one isn’t even worth hearing about really. I spent all night making little bomb
like devices, to put in the krabby patty. The next day I inserted them. Now they were
supposed to eject the patties over to the chum bucket, but instead they just blew up.
“It was sort of funny though, remember that one guy who blew up!” oh yeah, that was funny,
hahahaha.
10. Now only 16 more to go! This scheme was the shortest I think, and wasn’t clever at all.
We were all invited to a party being thrown by SpongeBob, and during the party he made
us stop to play a game. It was kind of like a question game, where you asked a question,
and the person had to answer it truthfully. When I questioned Krabbs I told him the
topic was the ingredients of the krabby patty, of course he found out it was where are
you from, and I didn’t find out.
“That one was pretty lame…”
11. For this one I changed into a cockroach (which I thought was pretty clever) but on
the way got squished by Krabbs. So I decided to get help! I went and got all my
relatives, to help me fight Krabbs. But of course we still didn’t stand a chance, and I
didn’t get the krabby patty formula.
Well you know I didn’t otherwise I would be done with this story!
12. This was one of my least favorite plans ever. I decided to try and get the formula out
of SpongeBob by making him scared, and exhausted. So I ordered 10,000 krabby
patties, which forced him to work all day and night. He sure did get very exhausted, and
very scared. I then went to him as a psychiatrist. I tried to make him tell me about the
formula, but he was too scared. Every time I got hit by a piano like 500 times. One day
it backfired (of course) and he got over his fear, and wouldn’t even make me a krabby
patty for helping him.
13. So close to finishing! Then I can think up new ideas!!! For this one I faked an injury,
and sued Krabbs. Of course he was too cheap and begged me not to! So I proposed an
idea… he could give me the krabby patty formula, and I wouldn’t press any charges. But
he didn’t like that idea either, but he would have to choose. Then the sponge got
involved, and ruined everything. He knew that I had faked the fall, and made me
confess!! 
“You never got the krabby patty formula, how sad.” Oh just be quiet would you!
14. This I enjoyed a lot. At first I made a claw that would grab any customer that went
by, and drop them in the chum bucket. But they just ran out after, so that failed. But I
met the beautiful crab, whose name was called Betsy Krab. We got close pretty quickly,
and went on a date soon after meeting one another. We decided to go to the krusty
krabb, oh boy! There we saw Eugene Krab, and he had a meltdown. Turns out Betsy is his
mom!! There I decided I could get the krabby patty formula out of her. So we got even
closer, and she ignored Eugene for me. But she wouldn’t tell, so I decided if we got
married she would tell me. When I asked she declined, and I never got the krabby patty
formula.
“You’re not supposed to marry anyone if you’re already married!” do you want the krabby
patty or not?!
15. For this one I was pretty desperate. Eugene decided he could make some extra money
by putting out a wishing well. Seeing as I had no other idea at the time, I decided to go
make a wish. My wish was to be taller than everyone, so I could crush them! Of course I
didn’t expect it to work, but it did! Turns out SpongeBob and Patrick were inside, and
had struck magic!! I actually succeeded, just didn’t get the krabby patty formula…
“You had a perfectly fine chance…” I know, just give me a break. I was actually taller than
everyone, for a change.
16. This one was one of my least favorite. I built a gift shop, thinking I could make some
money. One day Krabbs came in, and then I got an idea. So I became super friendly to
him, and we became good friends. We were friends for about a couple of weeks, when
the opportunity arose where I could steal the formula. I got it!!!!! Finally, but when I
checked it out, it turned out to be a fake!!  The next day Krabbs came by, and broke
everything in there. At least I didn’t care about the shop… or our ended friendship.
17. For this one I made up the idea on the spot. A new place opened up that sold
kelpshakes. They were the best things in the world!! Of course Krabbs was worried
about his profits, so he banned drinks outside of the Krusty Krabb. That made
customers mad, and even more left, so he came and blamed me!! I told him I didn’t know
what it was either, and we decided to go find out. Our first attempts failed, and Krabbs
just ended up buying a kelpshake. We were analyzing the ingredients when we
discovered it was just kelp juice. We drank it, and boy was it good, when SpongeBob
came running in covered in green slime. With further investing it turns it the shakes
were highly toxic, and unhealthy. After that I decided to stick to trying to steal the
krabby patty formula, and Krabbs even gave me a krabby patty, so he could chase me
around for fun!
“You know if you had really tried I bet you could have gotten and run with the krabby patty”.
We were just playing around… it’s called fun! “Since when did you learn what fun meant?!”
18. It was a normal day, and I had attacked Krabbs yet again to try and get the formula.
When SpongeBob asked why me and Krabbs hated each other so much. So Krabbs told
his story, then I told mine, and then Karen told hers.
Krabbs- “Plankton and I had been friends since birth. He and I did everything together.
One day we finally got enough money to go buy a hamburger, at Stinky’s Burgers. Soon
after it closed down, and we decided to open up our own restaurant, Platt Burgers. The
burgers weren’t very good, but it was the only burger restaurant available. After a while
plankton got greedy and says that they are now ruling the children, while I thought it’s
more about satisfying the customers. I was then ejected into a dump, and told plankton
he would regret his choice.
Now that is nowhere near the truth! SpongeBob I shall tell you the real truth…
Plankton- Yes it was true Krabbs and I had been friends since birth, and did everything
together when growing up. After Stinky’s restaurant closed, we did make our own, called
the Platt Burgers. We did get very good business, being the only restaurant selling
burgers. But after a while Krabbs got greedy and wanted only to rule the children for
their money, and I disagreed. Krabbs got mad and shot me out of a straw into a dump.
“Now you’re a filthy liar, I never said any of that!” oh yes you did, unlike you I have a
very good memory. “I do too have a very good memory.” “You’re all liars; I will tell you
the truth.” Karen I don’t lie!
Karen- When you two first started out with the Platt Burgers, you had no customers.
Old man Jenkins was the first one to try out your burger. After eating it he collapsed,
having been poisoned. You two then start accusing each other of poisoning the burger.
Both of you start to fight over the recipe, and end up tearing it apart. Plankton leaves
to establish his own restaurant, leaving Krabbs friendless, and with the recipe. But
during the fight one of the shelves was knocked over, and all the contents fell in the
patty batter, which made the krabby patty. So Krabbs was left with famous krabby
patty, and you, Plankton, were left with the infamous Chum Bucket.
Oh yeah, and then after that we started to become friends again, and then we stole the
formula. “Yes, and then we ended up running in circles… Now I remember correctly!!”
19. For this next one I have to admit it was cool, but of I course I failed. It was always
very cold in the Krusty Krabb, but Krabbs wouldn’t let anyone touch the thermostat. So
during the night I snuck in the Krusty Krabb and changed the temperature to below 0,
and put a note on top saying it was the regular temperature… get this, Krabbs actually
fell for it!! When he came in the next day, his restaurant was frozen!!!! I thought that
finally I would get some customers. But no instead he changed his restaurant into an ice
rink… but I discovered that I could probably sneak in while the hockey team was playing
a game, and steal a patty. I actually did! Except halfway out the door the hockey players
mistook me for the puck, and next thing I know I was flying all over the place. Well I
didn’t get out of the restaurant, but instead I got to the thermostat and started to
change the temperature. It was hilarious seeing Krabbs frozen in one second, and
swimming in water the next!  After a while I guess I got a little cocky, and fell off.
Krabbs took me and froze me as an ice cube… how humiliating!!
“Not only that but you never got the formula… what a shame, I wonder if you will ever get the
formula.” Thanks Karen, I seem to remember you helping me come up with horrible ideas. “I
don’t know what you’re talking about!” Whatever.
20. I saw that SpongeBob and Patrick were making a mobile Krusty Krabb one day, and I
got very upset. I had that idea years ago, but it didn’t work out. So I decided to make
my own mobile Chum Bucket. When both of us first set off it didn’t work out to well. I
ended up getting a brat of a boy, while SpongeBob started to pay customers to buy the
krabby patties. In the end I got very aggravated with the boy and insulted him, of
course he told his mommy! All of a sudden everyone started throwing rocks at me,
because of some dumb little boy!! Well SpongeBob and Patrick got distracted watching
me, and ended up burning the krabby patties. Of course everything still turned out good
for them, because they started selling the krabby patties, for people to be able to hit
me with them! When everyone decided they had enough of throwing rocks, they left,
and SpongeBob and Patrick did too. Well, SpongeBob ended up selling a million krabby
patties to a gigantic monster that had just woken up, and I ended up running into their
submarine. In the end it helped them out more than me… of course. They had run out of
krabby patty batter, and decided to use some of my chum that had leaked in, during the
crash. The monster decided he liked this new krabby patty better, and I got very mad,
and started to attack him. The monster mistook me for a chocolate éclair, and I ended
up being chased by a gigantic monster…
“At least Krabbs didn’t get all that money, since SpongeBob had to get rid of it to be able to
float back up.” Oh yeah, I forgot about, well that’s good. He needs to know what it’s like to fail!
21. For this one I so could have succeeded, if it hadn’t been for a special someone!
“Excuse me! you told me we were going on a nice cruise, and not for you to have a chance
to steal the krabby patty.” Yeah well, that was like one of my only chances, so you should
have just let me. “Oh I’m sorry, your majesty!”  Now I’ll tell my story. I had heard
that SpongeBob and Krabbs were going out of town, to go on a cruise. I decided why not
bring Karen, so I would have an excuse to being on the cruise. She agreed, and we went.
The only problem was every single time I would try; she would want me to do something…
“Well I’m sorry, no one told me we were on a mission!” Ok on with the story, Krabbs
started selling krabby patties on the ship, and I of course tried to steal one. “But of
course, you failed.” Karen this is no laughing matter!
“Plankton you’re almost done… so hurry up, I’m getting tired of listening to you telling this super
long story!” don’t worry… actually I’m getting tired of hearing my own voice.
22. Now this one I really did regret, but I got everything I truly wanted in the end. “Aww,
sweetie you are my sunshine!” Yes, well let’s get on with this story shall we… I thought
that Karen wasn’t help enough, and that I should get a new robot. So I built a Karen 2.0,
and Karen left. Once I thought Karen 2.0 was ready I brought her to the Krusty Krabb,
and saw Karen working there. Now that sure was a slap in the face. “ Like you replacing
me wasn’t!” anyways, the two started to fight, and my poor Karen she was completely
knocked out. Seeing that I quickly took Karen 2.0’s batteries out, and put them in place
of Karen’s. “Then I came out twice as better !”
23. This one was quite hilarious, it just had a few problems. “A few? You were mobbed by
babies!” Oh Karen you take things to seriously, and anyways let me tell the story
already. I decided to dress up as a pepper shaker, to go steal the formula. I soon
realized that that plan wasn’t going to work, so I made a formula. “A baby formula to be
exact.” Yes, a baby formula. I went in and was planning to just spray Krabbs, and I
successfully did. But of course things had to start messing up, and everyone ended up as
a baby, except for me . “But you were swarmed by babies.” They were big!
24. Only two more after this! Now this was one of my favorites, mainly because it included
two superheroes, Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy. Now instead of using a formula, I used
shampoo! I put the shampoo on the two superheroes, and they were then under my
control! I got the two to talk bad about the Krusty Krabb, because who wouldn’t listen
to superheroes. It was magnificent! All these customers started pouring in, and buying
my chum. But of course Spongebob had to get involved, and ruined everything. He
forced a krabby patty into Mermaid Man, and Barnacle Boy, and that was the end of my
reign. Everyone went back to the Krusty Krabb, while I stayed at the Chum Bucket,
defeated again.
25. This one was should have gone over just great. “But it didn’t.” Well obviously otherwise
I wouldn’t be writing this story! It was around the holidays, Christmas to be exact. I
thought of this brilliant plan to get rid of everyone. “But somehow you screwed
everything up.” Karen would you shut up for a minute. To get rid of all the people of
Bikini Bottom I made a race. Everything was going fine, everyone had signed up, no one
was at the Krusty Krab. Then Spongebob had to come and ruin it all! “And that was the
end of your little escapade.”
26. Finally the last one! This one was even my most successful. “But you still failed.” We
get it Karen! I was digging around when I discovered this beautiful cavern, and I
decided to make a restaurant out of it. The restaurant was an immediate success, and
the cavern even came with its own workers. Krabs was enraged, but what could he do
mwhahhahahahaha. “As we all know though, your plan somehow failed.” Yes Karen, I was
getting to it. That same day stupid the stupid sponge and star were digging around
above my cavern. And of course my whole cavern went under, no longer to be. “Not only
that, but that was your last scheme.
Little does Krabs know that this will not be my last scheme! “Be prepared to lose.” Karen I
will make sure that I get that formula! Krabs better watch out mwahahahahahahaha.