Dialogue Between the Divided
Self and the Divine Self
A systematic model for
psycho-spiritual integration
@Laura Delaplain and He idi King and the
Institute for Spiritual Life and
Psychotherapy2014
Islpma.org
@Laura Delaplain and He idi King and the
Institute for Spiritual Life and
Psychotherapy2014
Goals of this Workshop
• Presenters will synthesize diverse psychological
theories and spiritual teachings into a working model
for understanding the interplay of degrees of spiritual
consciousness with psychological well-being.
• Participants will learn ways to identify, name, and
partner with the inner divine self.
• Presenters will offer a topography of divided inner
selves functioning with little awareness of each other
and with dim recognition of the divine source within.
• Participants will learn to facilitate dialogue between
the divided selves and the divine self.
@Laura Delaplain and He idi King and the
Institute for Spiritual Life and
Psychotherapy2014
“We have what we seek. We have it all the
time. If we give it time, it will make itself
known to us.”
Thomas Merton
@Laura Delaplain and He idi King and the
Institute for Spiritual Life and
Psychotherapy2014
Joseph M. Marshall, III
Lakota storyteller
“Long ago, Iktomi crawled out of his den.”
@Laura Delaplain and He idi King and the
Institute for Spiritual Life and
Psychotherapy2014
The Divided Self
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
Dualistic Thinking
Emotional Reactivity
Self-preoccupation
Ego-centric perspective
Defended Self
Rigidity in processing
Judgmental attention
Survivalist
Dysfunctional variability in breathing, heartbeat,
and blood pressure
@Laura Delaplain and He idi King and the
Institute for Spiritual Life and
Psychotherapy2014
Egoic Consciousness
@Laura Delaplain and He idi King and the
Institute for Spiritual Life and
Psychotherapy2014
“You are my beloved child.”
@Laura Delaplain and He idi King and the
Institute for Spiritual Life and
Psychotherapy2014
Turn left at mind,
and go within…
Ken Wilbur
@Laura Delaplain and He idi King and the
Institute for Spiritual Life and
Psychotherapy2014
Dialogue
The Divided Self
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
Dualistic Thinking
Emotional Reactivity
Self-preoccupation
Ego-centric perspective
Defended Self
Rigidity in processing
Judgmental attention
Survivalist
Dysfunctional variability in breathing,
heartbeat and blood pressure
The Divine Self
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
Unitive Consciousness
Sense of well-being
Engagement with others / world
Wholeness
Authenticity
Openness and Curiosity
Non-judgmental attention
Kindness
Calmness
@Laura Delaplain and He idi King and the
Institute for Spiritual Life and
Psychotherapy2014
@Laura Delaplain and He idi King and the
Institute for Spiritual Life and
Psychotherapy2014
(The Soul) can deliver grace to every
corner of the psyche . . . .
Ken Wilbur
@Laura Delaplain and He idi King and the
Institute for Spiritual Life and
Psychotherapy2014
Hazelden, 2005 “Drop the Rock”
“Shortcomings”
“Divine Principles”
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
Pride
Greed
Lust
Anger
Envy
Sloth
Gluttony
Humility
Giving or Sharing
Purity
Calmness – Serenity
Gratefulness
Action
Moderation
@Laura Delaplain and He idi King and the
Institute for Spiritual Life and
Psychotherapy2014
Hazelden, 2005 “Drop the Rock”
“Shortcomings”
“Divine Principles”
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
Selfish – Self-Seeking
Dishonest
Fear
Inconsiderate
Impatience
Intolerance
Resentment
Hate
Harmful Acts
Self-Pity
Self-Justification
Self-Importance
Self-Condemnation
Suspicion
Doubt
Covetousness
Disrespect
Interest in Others
Honest
Courage
Considerate
Patience
Tolerance
Forgiveness
Love-Empathy
Good Deeds
Self-Forgetfulness
Self-Acceptance
Modesty
Self-Forgiveness
Trust
Faith
Charity-Generosity
Respect
@Laura Delaplain and He idi King and the
Institute for Spiritual Life and
Psychotherapy2014
Liminal Space
@Laura Delaplain and He idi King and the
Institute for Spiritual Life and
Psychotherapy2014
@Laura Delaplain and He idi King and the
Institute for Spiritual Life and
Psychotherapy2014
Liminal Space
limen – n THRESHOLD
liminal - adj. of, relating to, or
situated at the limen
@Laura Delaplain and He idi King and the
Institute for Spiritual Life and
Psychotherapy2014
LIMINAL
1. of or relating to a sensory threshold
2. barely perceptible
3. Of, relating to, or being in an intermediate
state, phase or condition: in-between,
transitional <in the liminal state between life
and death – Deborah Joweitt>
@Laura Delaplain and He idi King and the
Institute for Spiritual Life and
Psychotherapy2014
Kairos
a moment of indeterminate time
in which everything happens.
@Laura Delaplain and He idi King and the
Institute for Spiritual Life and
Psychotherapy2014
Liminal Time and Liminal Space
That time and space in which a person is
brought to the threshold of crossing over from
the state of being a Divided Self into a state of
being in communion with the Divine Self.
@Laura Delaplain and He idi King and the
Institute for Spiritual Life and
Psychotherapy2014
Summary of the Process
1) Therapist’s Role: Uncover liminal space between the
therapist and client by pulling one’s self back, by
checking one’s own ego, by becoming a non-anxious
presence, listening closely, being comfortable with
silence, and refraining from the impulse to give advice,
to teach, to interpret or to share one’s own wisdom.
2) Client’s role: To create liminal space within through the
process of kenosis or 'self-emptying,' through a
repetition of one’s story, or by bringing into
consciousness the places of division within one’s self.
3) Readiness for a dialogue
between the Divided Self and
@Laura Delaplain and He idi King and the
Institute for Spiritual Life and
the Divine Self.
Psychotherapy2014
Case Illustration
“I did something wrong.”
(The divided self)
@Laura Delaplain and He idi King and the
Institute for Spiritual Life and
Psychotherapy2014
“Trust me. I will take care of it.”
(The Divine Self)
@Laura Delaplain and He idi King and the
Institute for Spiritual Life and
Psychotherapy2014
ILLUMINATION
@Laura Delaplain and He idi King and the
Institute for Spiritual Life and
Psychotherapy2014
Illuminate n archaic One having or claiming unusual
enlightenment
@Laura Delaplain and He idi King and the
Institute for Spiritual Life and
Psychotherapy2014
“I have no doubt that most people live…in a
very restricted circle of their potential being.
They make use of a very small portion of their
possible consciousness, much like a person
who, out of their whole bodily organism,
should get into a habit of using and moving
only their little finger.”
Wm James
@Laura Delaplain and He idi King and the
Institute for Spiritual Life and
Psychotherapy2014
Evolution of Consciousness
Richard Rohr/
Cynthia Bourgeault
Ken Wilbur
Dualistic Consciousness
Egocentric
Egoic
Ethnocentric
Consciousness
Worldcentric
Non Dual Consciousness
Unitive Consciousness
Theocentric
Union of Spirit and Word
@Laura Delaplain and He idi King and the
Institute for Spiritual Life and
Psychotherapy2014
@Laura Delaplain and He idi King and the
Institute for Spiritual Life and
Psychotherapy2014
@Laura Delaplain and He idi King and the
Institute for Spiritual Life and
Psychotherapy2014
@Laura Delaplain and He idi King and the
Institute for Spiritual Life and
Psychotherapy2014
Neuroplasticity of the Brain
The more active two neurons are the stronger
the connection between them grows: thus, with
every experience, your brain rewires its physical
structure. The brain learns, adapts and
molecularly restructures itself on the basis of
thought and emotional experience. The brain
can grow approximately 6,000 neurons a day in
response to how you use it.
@Laura Delaplain and He idi King and the
Institute for Spiritual Life and
Psychotherapy2014
Case Illustration
“It’s a mortal sin.”
(the Divided self)
@Laura Delaplain and He idi King and the
Institute for Spiritual Life and
Psychotherapy2014
“We’ll get married.”
(the Divine Self)
@Laura Delaplain and He idi King and the
Institute for Spiritual Life and
Psychotherapy2014
In Summary
•One’s sense of self may shift.
•One’s sense of the Divine may shift.
•Intrinsic positive value in the process
itself which is reinforcing and
motivating.
@Laura Delaplain and He idi King and the
Institute for Spiritual Life and
Psychotherapy2014
The gifts [Christ] gave were . . . for building up
the body of Christ, until all of us come to the unity
of the faith . . . to maturity, to the measure of the
full stature of Christ. We must no longer be children,
tossed to and fro and blown about by every wind of
doctrine, . . . we must grow up in every way into . . .
Christ.
Ephesians 4: selected verses (11-15)
@Laura Delaplain and He idi King and the
Institute for Spiritual Life and
Psychotherapy2014
Dialogue with participants
• What language do you use for the inner divine
self?
• What ways have you found to partner with the
inner divine self?
• How might you encourage dialogue between
the divided self and the Divine self?
• What might trip you up in this dialogue?
@Laura Delaplain and He idi King and the
Institute for Spiritual Life and
Psychotherapy2014