Komunikasi Intrapersonal

Adolescent’s Interpersonal Communication
Dr Nooraida Yakob
29 October 2012
Communication - the process of responding to
the information
Human’s communication – a process of
communication in order to share feelings /
information with others through the use of
verbal and non verbal language
Interpersonal communication - a specific form
of human’s communication in handling
relationships with other people
Interpersonal communication occur
spontaneously, transparent, nonjudgmental
and based on the similarities between
individuals with other individuals.
Example : if you are from the same place,
the communication becomes more personal
and the quality of your communication
become more intimate
Based Bebee (2005)
There are two views:
◦ Contextual view
 The number of people involved
 Have affinity/similarities between them
 Feedback are given and often is immediate
Developmental View
According to this view, communication
occurs when:
◦ Individuals involved have been known for a long
◦ Each individual is unique
◦ Example : Communication between a salesman is
not the same as communication between friends
or family
According to Martin Buber (2005)
Divided into three types of communication:
◦ Communication "I-It"
 Communication in our social life
 Usually exists between you and salesman, you and
 Usually, the relationship begins with this type of
 The closer the relationship is will lead to you the
second stage of "I-You"
According to Martin Buber (2005)
Communication "I-You"
Most of our communication is “I-YOU”
 Interactions that exist still weighed on the
social role
 Example : teacher-student relationship
 The relationship exists is still not close
- Example : ordinary partnership, coworkers and you-cousins.
According to Martin Buber (2005)
Communication "I-Thou"
 High-level of communication
 The communication exists is beyond the social role
and often affect the uniqueness of the individual
 Communication involves : trust and personal
matters lead to a close relationship
 Example : communication of lovers, parents and
children, siblings, close friends
Communication "I-Thou"
There are individuals who never achieve this
There are several ways to achieve this type of
◦ Be a good listener
◦ Build a close relationship
◦ Resolve and avoid conflicts effectively
◦ The success of developing this type of
communication gives the individuals a satisfaction
in life
The Importance of Interpersonal Communication
Improving your communication skills
with family members
Build a close relationship with friends
and the one who you loved
Improved your relationship with your
Increased your physical and emotional
The Importance of Interpersonal Communication
Request the information
◦ Based on the Social Penetration Theory – with the
information, the interaction between individuals will be
more effective
◦ As a result : you can expect what your friend’s thinks, do
and felt
◦ You can get the information in a passive way by
◦ You can get information by actively engage in
◦ Self-disclosure
The Importance of Interpersonal Communication
Build a context of understanding
◦ help us better understand what someone says in
a given context
◦ depending on how they are said or in what
◦ Two types:
 Content message - surface level meaning of a message"
 Relationship message – explained how the message was
 These two are sent simultaneously, but each affects the
meaning assigned to the communication.
The Importance of Interpersonal Communication
Establish your identity
◦ The roles we play in our relationships help us to
establish identity
◦ the public self-image we present to others
Interpersonal needs
◦ Express and receive interpersonal needs
◦ The needs are : Participation, control and
The needs ….
◦ is the need to establish identity with others.
◦ is the need to exercise leadership and prove one's
abilities. Groups provide outlets for this need. Some
individuals do not want to be a leader. For them,
groups provide the necessary control over aspects of
their lives.
◦ is the need to develop relationships with people.
Groups are an excellent way to make friends and
establish relationships.
Forms of Interpersonal Communication
Oral Communication
◦ Verbal
 Expression language - speech
 Receptive language – understanding/comprehending
Non-verbal communication
◦ Use facial expressions - eye-contact, your
drawing, writing, body movement, etc.
The Development of Self-concept
1. Interaction with other individual
- see yourself through the mirror
2. Joined yourself in the group
3. Expected role
4. Label yourself
- The label comes from personal reflection
5. Personality
development of Self-Esteem
◦ assessment of self-perceptions on the ability,
talent, skills and appearance
How to Increasing your self-esteem
Intrapersonal Communication
Your positive self-image
Avoid comparing yourself with others
Limit the events and experiences to the broader
Ability to focus on your vision
Get support from an appropriate individuals
The strategy used to share the information with
 With a view, the relationship becomes more
 By using “Johari window”
 Used to better understanding of their mental
◦ http://kevan.org/johari
Johari Window (Joseph Luft & Harry Ingham, 1950’s
Not Known to self
Not Known to Others
Known to Others
Known to self
A Johari window consists of the following 56 adjectives used as possible descript
In alphabetical order they are:
•accepting •dignified
•adaptable •energetic
•cheerful •helpful
•complex •independent
•confident •ingenious
Adjectives that are selected by both the
participant and his or her peers are placed
into the Open quadrant. This quadrant
represents traits of the subjects that both they
and their peers are aware of.
Adjectives selected only by subjects, but not by
any of their peers, are placed into the Hidden
Quadrant, representing information about them
their peers are unaware of. It is then up to the
subject to disclose this information or not.
Blind Spot:
Adjectives that are not selected by subjects but
only by their peers are placed into the Blind Spot
quadrant. These represent information that the
subject is not aware of, but others are, and they
can decide whether and how to inform the
individual about these "blind spots".
Adjectives that were not selected by either
subjects or their peers remain in the Unknown
quadrant, representing the participant's behaviors
or motives that were not recognized by anyone
participating. This may be because they do not
apply or because there is collective ignorance of
the existence of these traits.
Open Area
Other people know about you.You also know
about yourself.
The more you know about yourself or other
people know about you, the greater the open
space this section
Example : your attitudes, feelings, emotions,
knowledge, experience, skills and insights
2. Blind Area
Others know about you, but you did not know
 This section is realized by you and you
unconsciously communicate it to others
 Information may be in the form of body language,
behavior, voice, style
 When you learn and begin to realize about yourself,
this section begins to diminish
3. Hidden Area
You know about you but other people did not
know about you
Information including feelings, opinions, prejudices,
and experience
You think about the facts, thoughts, feelings,
fantasies that you do not want others to know due
to your nature (shyness)
Keeping it as secrets
4. Unknown Area
This section is not known by you and others
 There are things you did not already know about
 Example “
◦ How to act when faced with the death of someone that
you loved . Other people do not know
Example : talents / abilities that you have
 Everybody has this area
The characteristic of self-disclosure
Occurred gradually
Occurred from the less personal information to
more personal
Have certain risk
Related to trust and honest
Potential to improve the quality of interpersonal
Relationship Development
Knapp’s Relationship Escalation Model
◦ There are five stages:
 Initiatian - short stage :-10-15 seconds. Eg. Greeting
 Experimenting - you ask questions to obtain more
information and make a decision whether to continue
the relationship or not
 Intensifying - self-disclosure occurred, the relationship
becomes more informal and are committed to that
Continued ....
Integrating - becomes close, work together,
and start to share the identity with partners
Bonding – you have the relationship however
only few of relationship ended at this level.
The Termination of Relationship
Knapp’s Relationship Termination Model
 There are five stages:
◦ Differentiating
 you start to use the word "I" instead of "we"
 Beginnings of self-reliance/autonomy
 Early signs to terminate the relationship
Continued ....
◦ No further communication between you and your
◦ Try to avoid discussion by changing the conversation
◦ Other people did not notice this situation- only you
know about this
◦ Trying to discuss the relationship- did not want to
end the relationship
Continued ....
◦ Do not want to discuss the relationship anymore
because other people already know about the
broken relationship
◦ most of them know that there is no more
Continued ....
◦ Physically separate
◦ Try to reduce and avoid discussions and meetings
◦ Positive or negative depending on the situation
 Situation A-semester break : physically separate with
your roommate or
 Situation B – physically separate with your family
 Situation C – divorce ?
Group Communications (Small Group)
Mc Grath (1984) - a group formed by two /
more individuals who meet the following
◦ Always communicate through a structured and
predictable way
◦ Shared the goals
◦ Identifying them as a part of a group and dependable to
each other
Continued ....
Occurs both verbally and non-verbally
Position, location – need an effective
communication system
Influence the members’ behaviour