WRIT 117
Spring 2012
Highlighting to Make Visual Sense: Paragraph Practice
Look at the following thesis statement and supporting paragraph from former WRIT117
student essays.
Use your highlighters to identify the following parts in the supporting paragraph
presented here:
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Topic sentence: highlight in orange/ pink
Example/ Evidence: highlight in yellow
Analysis: highlight in green/ blue/ purple
Transitions: circle them
Sample ¶1
Thesis: While I was growing up I saw both the good and the bad sides of being a workaholic.
As I was growing up I saw that my mom and dad always worked as hard as they could.
They did this not just for themselves but to provide for their family. They wanted to make sure
that their kids had the best life that they could have. While growing up there was never a time
when I thought that we were not going to have enough money to provide for us kids and our
family. The older I became the more I realized that both my mom’s and my dad’s hard work and
determination allowed them to overcome some challenges that they faced in life. My mom went
back to school to further her education so that she could get a better job, one that she really
enjoyed. My dad was laid off, but he never gave up. He now works for Consumers Energy and
is doing great. Their success made me realize that if you work your hardest and never give up on
yourself then you can get where you want in life.
Sample ¶ 2
Thesis: Moving from Chicago to Lansing has opened up new ways of understanding people and
it has also given me new school and career opportunities.
Being young living in Chicago I never thought about career opportunities for my future.
The teachers never talked about establishing dreams and goals for our future careers and what
opportunities were available to us. In Lansing, teachers participated with us in creating goals and
dreams for our futures. The first time a teacher asked me to write down my dreams and career
goals for my future I just sat there in a daze. I had never thought about this before so I had
nothing to write down. When the teacher pulled me aside to ask why I did not have anything
written down, I told her that in Chicago we are not worried about future goals, dreams, and
careers—we are focused on making it through the day. Teachers in Lansing schools had never
heard such a thing; however, she was willing to work with me to establish goals and dreams
based on my interests. This showed me how much these teachers really care about their students’
futures.
Sample ¶ 3
Thesis: Thanks to guidance from my parents, my high school teacher, and my own observations,
I was able to stay focused and to avoid trouble as a teenager.
Secondly, my high school teacher Sir James Gates played a great role in making me
know myself. Every last day of the semester, we had parents, teachers, and students meetings.
These were meetings whereby teachers talked to the student’s parent about the conduct and the
performance of the student. In one meeting, Gates gave a speech about being productive in
everything we do. He inspired every student to be careful in everything he/she engages in. He
said that whatever we go through today is as a result of what happened in the past and what
happens in the future is inspired by what we do today. I took this message seriously and I live
with it in my everyday life. I consider that message before making any decision so as to make
sure that the decision I make adds some value in my life. The message also gives me hopes that
better days are coming so long as I do the right thing and stay focused today. Armed with this
message, I was able to understand that engaging myself in what young people thought was ‘cool’
could not help me in any way. I stayed focused and I moved on.
Paragraph practice, 2
Sample ¶ 4
Thesis: Growing up in a single parent household has allowed my children to experience a home
without constricting gender roles.
My children are able to experience having a mother take on both gender roles at home
and because of that they will have the opportunity to experiment beyond traditional gender roles.
When I am in the kitchen, my son will approach me and ask if he can help with the cooking. This
is not exactly what you may consider your son doing, but because there is no male figure in the
home, he desires to imitate everything I do. My youngest daughter enjoys putting things together
with her hands, so when I am putting together a bookshelf, she wants to help. My oldest daughter
loves to go fishing and who else in the home might expose her to this? Yes, I know she has an
uncle that would be willing to take her fishing, but I would like to be that inspiring individual she
can look up to as her role model. My children are gaining knowledge from what I am showing
them, so if I show my son how to cook or my daughter how to fish, it is acceptable because
there are no guidelines saying this is wrong. Therefore, being able to step out of traditional roles
will allow my children to experience life without constriction.
Sample ¶ 5
Thesis: One of the most important things that I like about The Amazing Race is how people are
able to communicate during stressful situations.
Another interesting episode is one in which there were two female doctors who were
teammates. One of the doctors was a vegetarian and for them to be able to move ahead with the
race she had to eat a cow’s brain. She took on the challenge without fear and thus overcame her
own fears. From this episode, I learned how important it is to organize one’s thoughts before
communicating. This is because when one thinks before one communicates, he or she is able to
communicate a message that is useful. The vegetarian doctor, by eating the cow, communicated
non-verbally to her partner in the game that she would fight tooth and nail in order to win the
race. This made the team much stronger.
Paragraph practice, 3
Sample ¶ 6
Thesis: What I have learned from my family life gives me the ambition I need to succeed and
reach every one of my goals I have for a successful future.
Who I am today is created by how I was raised. Looking back at the way I was raised,
and how I became independent at such a young age, I feel it will help me in the long run. Now, I
have two jobs; live on my own, pay my own bills. To me I see this experience of living on my
own more like learning how to be smart with my money. With the help from my family and my
past, my main goal that I want to reach is becoming a registered nurse, and being able to have a
steady job after I graduate college. In doing so, I want to have the financial security that my
parents did not have. I want to have a better life than what they had as adults, and I want to be
able to have a nice house and money to lean back on if there ever was a time that I needed it.
With what I saw from my parent’s struggles, I want to be able to show them, yes it was a tough
road but you have taught me many valuable lessons and they have made my life better.
Paragraph practice, 4