Chapter Three

Chapter Three

Understanding Your

Communication

Style

Chapter Preview: Understanding Your

Communication Style

• Style bias and its effect on interpersonal relations

• Benefits of understanding communication styles

• Elements of communication style model

• Identifying preferred style

• Style flexing

Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

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Communication Style

• Personality —thoughts, feelings, and actions that characterize someone

• Communication style —patterns of behavior that others can observe

Communication style is an important aspect of personality


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Communication Style

• Understanding your style….

– achieve greater self-awareness

– develop more effective interpersonal relations

– greater sensitivity to and tolerance for others’ styles

– essential for managing key relationships self another person member of a group


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Fundamental Concepts

• Individual differences exist and are important

– i.e., use of gestures, assertiveness

– each person has unique style

– identify by careful observation


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• Differences tend to be stable

– Jung’s Psychological Types

– born with disposition that is nurtured and strengthened over a life


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• Limited number of general styles

– four basic styles

– similar characteristics within style


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• A way of thinking and behaving

– not an ability

– a preferred way of using abilities or style


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• Productive relationships are developed by being in sync with others

– important advantage when understanding others’

– called style flexing


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Communication Style Bias

• A common form of prejudice

• More likely if the other person has a different style then yours

• Often not on the same “wavelength”


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What You Can Do?

• Develop an awareness of your own style

• Learn to assess the style of others

• Learn when and how to adapt your own style to theirs

• “Speaking the other person’s language” is essential for relationship skills


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Total Person Insight

By knowing our own communicating style, we get to know ourselves better.

And we get along with others better as we develop the ability to recognize — and respond —to their styles.

Paul Mok and Dudley Lynch

Human Resource Development Consultants


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Communication Style Model

• Two important dimensions of human behavior:

– Dominance

– Sociability

• Remember: the style model describes preferences, not skills or abilities


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The Dominance Continuum

• Dominance

– The tendency to display a “take-charge” attitude

– an important dimension in interpersonal relationships

• Everyone falls somewhere on the dominance continuum


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The Dominance Continuum

Figure 3.1

Dominance Continuum

• more cooperative freely

• eager to assist others

• less assertive

• more willing to be controlled


• give advice

• initiate demands

• more assertive

• seek control

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Determining Your Preferred Style

• Step One:

– Identify where you fall on the dominance continuum

• Rate yourself on the Dominance Indicator Form

• Ask four or five people who know you well to complete it for you


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Figure 3.2 Dominance Indicator Form

Cooperative

I perceive myself as somewhat . . .

Competitive

Submissive

Accommodating

Hesitant

Reserved

Authoritative

Domineering

Decisive

Outgoing


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Figure 3.2 Dominance Indicator Form

(continued)


Compromising Insistent

Cautious

Patient

Passive

Quiet

Risk taking

Hurried

Influential

Talkative


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Figure 3.2 Dominance Indicator Form (continued)


Shy

Supportive

Bold

Demanding

Relaxed

Restrained

Intense

Assertive


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Where Should You Be?

• No best place to be

• Successful people can be found on all points

• Both ends are necessary and important at times


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Being Flexible Is Important

• Low on dominance

– more assertive temporarily to achieve an objective

– learn to be responsive without giving up convictions

• High on dominance

– curb strong opinions and limit demands to establish cooperative relationships


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The Sociability Continuum

• Sociability

– tendency to seek and enjoy social relationships

– measure of whether you tend to control or express your feelings


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Figure 3.3

Sociability Continuum

Source: Gerald L Manning and Barry Reece, Selling

Today: Creating Customer

Value, Ninth Edition,

Copyright © 2004. Adapted by permission of Prentice-Hall

Inc., Upper Saddle River, NJ.


• expresses feelings

• open and talkative

• enjoys personal associations

• controls feelings

• more reserved and formal in relationships

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Determining Your Preferred Style

• Step One:

– Identify where you fall on the dominance continuum

• Step Two:

– Identify where you fall on the sociability continuum

• Rate yourself on sociability indicator form

• Ask four or five people who know you well to complete it for you


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Figure 3.4 Sociability Indicator Form


Disciplined Easygoing

Controlled

Serious

Methodical

Calculating

Expressive

Lighthearted

Unstructured

Spontaneous


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Figure 3.4 Sociability Indicator Form (continued)


Guarded

Introverted

Open

Extroverted

Aloof

Formal

Reserved

Friendly

Casual

Provocative


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Figure 3.4 Sociability Indicator Form (continued)


Cautious Carefree

Conforming

Self-controlled

Restrained

Unconventional

Dramatic

Impulsive

Source: Gerald L Manning and Barry Reece, Selling Today: Creating Customer Value,

Ninth Edition, Copyright

© 2004. Adapted by permission of Prentice-Hall Inc., Upper

Saddle River, NJ.


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Where Should You Be?

• No best place to be

• Successful people are everywhere along the sociability continuum

• There are some commonsense guidelines to follow if you fall at either end of the continuum


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Being Flexible is Important

• Low sociability

– may need to be more expressive to avoid perception of indifference or unconcerned

• High sociability

– may need to curb exuberance if more formal environment is required


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Communication Styles Model

• The model represents four communication styles:

– emotive director

– reflective supportive

• Two factors:

– dominance sociability

• Model will help identify your most preferred style


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Figure 3.5

When the dominance and sociability dimensions are combined, the framework for communication style classification is established.

Figure 3.5


Ninth Edition, Copyright

© 2004. Adapted by permission of Prentice-Hall Inc., Upper

Saddle River, NJ.


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Figure 3.6

The emotive style combines high sociability and high dominance.

Figure 3.6


Ninth Edition, Copyright © 2004. Adapted by permission of Prentice-Hall Inc., Upper

Saddle River, NJ.


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Emotive Style

• Displays spontaneous, uninhibited behavior

– Talks rapidly

– Uses lots of hand gestures

– Expresses views with enthusiasm


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Emotive Style

• Displays the personality dimension described as extroversion

– Enjoys being with others

– Tends to be upbeat and active

– Likes informality

– Uses first names


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Emotive Style

• Possesses a natural persuasiveness

– Combination of high dominance and high sociability

– Finds it easy to express point of view dramatically or forcefully


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Figure 3.7

The director style combines high dominance

.

and low sociability.

Figure 3.7



Saddle River, NJ.


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Director Style

• Projects a serious attitude

– Communicates a no-nonsense attitude

– Often gives the impression he or she cannot have fun


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Director Style

• Expresses strong opinions

– Uses firm gestures and tone of voice

– Communicates determination


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Director Style

• May project indifference

– Finds it hard to abandon formal approaches in dealing with people

– Not easy to communicate warm, caring attitude


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Figure 3.8

The reflective style combines low dominance and low sociability.

Figure 3.8



Saddle River, NJ.


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Reflective Style

• Expresses opinions in a formal, deliberate manner

– Never seems to be in a hurry

– Expresses measured opinions

– Emotional control is a common trait


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Reflective Style

• Seems preoccupied

– Rather quiet

– Appears aloof or hard to get to know


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Reflective Style

• Prefers orderliness

– Uses and appreciates an agenda

– Enjoys reviewing details

– Likes to make decisions slowly


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Figure 3.9

The supportive style combines low dominance and high sociability

.

Figure 3.9



Saddle River, NJ.


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Supportive Style

• Listens attentively

– Good listening comes naturally

– Appears patient and caring


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Supportive Style

• Avoids the use of power

– Relies on friendly persuasion

– Likes to display warmth in written and spoken communication


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Supportive Style

• Makes and expresses decisions in a thoughtful, deliberate manner

– Appears low-key in decision making


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Identify Yourself?

• Nobody conforms completely to one style

• Only one dimension of personality

• Only deals with behaviors that others can observe

• May be able to identify the style least like yourself


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Variation Within Your Communication Style

• Communication styles also vary in intensity

• Model features zones that radiate outward from the center

• These dimensions might be thought of as intensity zones


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• Boundary between zones not a permanent barrier

• Under certain conditions, people will abandon their preferred style temporarily, a process called "style flexing"


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Figure 3.10

Communication Style

Intensity Zones

Figure 3.10



Saddle River, NJ.


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• Zone I

– Display unique behavioral characteristics with less intensity

– May be more difficult to identify the preferred communication style

– Not be as obvious in their gestures, tone of voice, speech patterns, or emotional expressions


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• Zone 2

– Display behavioral characteristics with greater intensity

– Can sometimes observe behavior change when upset or angry


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• Excess Zone

– Characterized by a high degree of intensity and rigidity

– Can also be labeled the "danger" zone

– Often inflexible and displays a lack of versatility


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• Extreme intensity in any quadrant can interfere with good human relations

• People may move into the excess zone when:

– they are under stress or not feeling well

– they feel threatened or insecure


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Behaviors Displayed in the Excess Zone

• Supportive Style

– Attempts to win approval by agreeing with everyone

– Constantly seeks reassurance

– Refuses to take a strong stand

– Tends to apologize a great deal


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• Director Style

– Is determined to come out on top

– Will not admit to being wrong

– Appears cold and unfeeling when dealing with others

– Tends to use dogmatic phrases


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• Emotive Style

– Tends to express highly emotional opinions

– Is outspoken to the point of being offensive

– Seems unwilling to listen to the views of others

– Uses exaggerated gestures and facial expressions


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• Reflective Style

– Tends to avoid making a decision

– Seems overly interested in detail

– Is very stiff and formal when dealing with others

– Seeks to achieve perfection


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Tips on Style Identification

• Focus on observable behavior

– The best clues are nonverbal:

• Gestures

• Posture

• Facial expressions

• Speech patterns


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Tips on Style Identification

• Determine where the person falls on the sociability and dominance continuums

– Your initial impression should not be carved in stone, but should be a continuing process

– Different situations will bring out different behaviors


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Versatility:

The Third Dimension

• Versatility

– acting in ways that gain a social endorsement

– making others feel comfortable and nondefensive

– independent of style and changeable

– can learn other styles


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Versatility and Style Flexing

• Style flexing

– deliberate attempt to change or alter style to meet the needs of another person

– temporary effort to act in harmony with other communication styles

– important in many occupations


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Total Person Insight

When we speak of interpersonal relationships

(as interaction involving at least two people), we contend that no one can do much about what we say and do. And because dealing with others is such a major aspect of our lives, if we can control what we say and do to make others more comfortable, we can realistically expect our relationships to be more productive, or effective, ones.

David W. Merrill and Roger H. Reid

Authors, Personal Styles and Effective Performance


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Strategies for Adapting Your Style

• Identify the style of the other person

• Think of ways to flex your style to gain a social endorsement

• Several style adaptation strategies…….


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Flexing to an Emotive Style

• Take time to build a social as well as a business relationship

• Display interest in a person’s ideas, interests, and experiences

• Do not place too much emphasis on details

• Maintain a fast and spontaneous pace


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Flexing to a Director Style

• Be specific, brief, and to the point

• Present the facts logically and be prepared to provide specific answers

• Maintain fast and decisive pace

• Project strength and confidence

• Messages should be short and to the point


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Flexing to a Reflective Style

• Be well organized

• Be straightforward and direct

• Be accurate and realistic when presenting information

• Messages should be detailed and precise

• Speak slowly and systematically


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Flexing to a Supportive Style

• Show a sincere interest

• Identify areas of common interests

• Draw out other’s personal goals and views

• Listen and be responsive

• Do not be pushy

• Put priority on relationship building


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Style Flexing: Pitfalls and Possibilities

• If sincere and honest, style flexing can:

– help build constructive relationships

– be a valuable and productive communication strategy

– be especially critical when something important is at stake


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A Word of Caution

• Do not label others

– classify strengths and preferences, not people

• Do not let your own label become rigid


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Strength/Weakness Paradox

• There is no best communication style

– each has unique strong points

• People have problems when they overextend the strengths of their style

• Customizing your style can require learning to overcome your strengths


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Summary

• Communication styles

– patterns of behaviors, observable to others

– tend to be stable throughout a person’s life

– unique to each person


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Summary

• Communication style bias

– problem in organizations

– barrier to good human relations


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Summary

• Communication Model

– Dominance

– Sociability

• Communication Styles

– Emotive

– Director

– Reflective

– Supportive


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Summary

• Style flexing and versatility are important in dealing with varying communication styles

• Keep an open mind about people

• Don’t use labels, typecast or judge


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Chapter Three

Chapter Three

Chapter Preview: Understanding Your

Communication Style

Communication Style

Communication Style

Fundamental Concepts

Fundamental Concepts

Fundamental Concepts

Fundamental Concepts

Fundamental Concepts

Communication Style Bias

What You Can Do?

Total Person Insight

Communication Style Model

The Dominance Continuum

The Dominance Continuum

Where Should You Be?

Being Flexible Is Important

The Sociability Continuum

Where Should You Be?

Being Flexible is Important

Communication Styles Model

Emotive Style

Emotive Style

Emotive Style

Director Style

Director Style

Director Style

Reflective Style

Reflective Style

Reflective Style

Supportive Style

Supportive Style

Supportive Style

Identify Yourself?

Variation Within Your Communication Style

Variation Within Your Communication Style

Variation Within Your Communication Style

Variation Within Your Communication Style

Variation Within Your Communication Style

Variation Within Your Communication Style

Behaviors Displayed in the Excess Zone

Behaviors Displayed in the Excess Zone

Behaviors Displayed in the Excess Zone

Behaviors Displayed in the Excess Zone

Tips on Style Identification

Tips on Style Identification

Versatility:

The Third Dimension

Versatility and Style Flexing

Total Person Insight

Strategies for Adapting Your Style

Flexing to an Emotive Style

Flexing to a Director Style

Flexing to a Reflective Style

Flexing to a Supportive Style

Style Flexing: Pitfalls and Possibilities

A Word of Caution

Strength/Weakness Paradox

Summary

Summary

Summary

Summary

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