New Horizons for Children
China Host Parent Training
Manual
Procedures, Guidelines and Policies: Updated 6/9/2013
New Horizons for Children, Inc.
3950 Cobb Parkway, Suite 708
Acworth, GA 30101
678-574-4677 Office
678-574-4757 Fax
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Table of Contents
Who do I call for HELP during hosting? Error! Bookmark
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NHFC OVERVIEW ............. Error! Bookmark not defined.
Mission Statement ...... Error! Bookmark not defined.
Program Overview....... Error! Bookmark not defined.
Program Goals ............. Error! Bookmark not defined.
COMMUNICATION DURING HOSTINGError! Bookmark not
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NHFC Communication During HostingError! Bookmark
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Contacting ChaperonesError! Bookmark not defined.
Completing Weekly Online Report .............................6
Pronunciation of Your Host Child’s Name .......... Error!
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GROUP ACTIVITES ............ Error! Bookmark not defined.
Local Events ................. Error! Bookmark not defined.
Chaperone Host Day...................................................7
Coordinating with a Chaperone Error! Bookmark not
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Chaperone Selection ..................................................8
Travel Plans ................................................................9
SPECIAL ISSUES (Including Medical) ...............................9
Reasons a Host Child Will Be Moved....................... 10
Backup Families ....................................................... 10
Insurance ................................................................. 11
Bedwetting .............................................................. 11
Dental/Eye Appointments ....................................... 11
General Medical Concerns & Emergencies ........ Error!
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Medication ................ Error! Bookmark not defined.2
Lice .............................. Error! Bookmark not defined.
Car Safety & Outdoor Safety ..... Error! Bookmark not
defined.2
Car Sickness ............................................................. 13
Fear of the Dark....................................................... 13
R.A.D. (Reactive Attachment Disorder) ................... 13
School Attendance or Testing ................................. 13
CLOTHING .................................................................... 14
Sizing........................................................................ 14
Items brought from their home countryError! Bookmark
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Washing Clothes by Hand........................................ 14
Tween/Teen Girls .................................................... 14
Teen Boys ................................................................ 15
Name Tags ................... Error! Bookmark not defined.
CULTURAL DIFERENCES ... Error! Bookmark not defined.
Family Concept ............ Error! Bookmark not defined.
Food Preferences ........ Error! Bookmark not defined.
Overeating or HoardingError! Bookmark not defined.
Manners ...................... Error! Bookmark not defined.
Hygiene........................ Error! Bookmark not defined.
Time Difference ......... Error! Bookmark not defined.9
Pornography .............. Error! Bookmark not defined.9
Internet Usage and Telephone calls ........................ 20
Independence.............. Error! Bookmark not defined.
Testing of Boundaries and Natural Curiosity...... Error!
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Suggested Reading ...... Error! Bookmark not defined.
Learning How to “Play”Error! Bookmark not defined.
GIFTS ................................ Error! Bookmark not defined.
Acceptable Gifts .......... Error! Bookmark not defined.
Gifts NOT Allowed ....... Error! Bookmark not defined.
Materialism and Lack of GratitudeError! Bookmark not
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Special Note About Cell Phones Error! Bookmark not
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INTERACTION WITH THE CHILDREN .............................. 4
Hosting Program ActivitiesError! Bookmark not defined.
Language ................................................................. 34
Discipline ................................................................. 35
Physical Discipline ................................................... 36
Day Care or Visits Outside the Host Family ............. 37
Alcohol and Parties.................................................. 37
Presence of the Host Father .................................... 38
SPIRITUAL INFLUENCE ................................................. 38
Attending Church Events & Teaching Prayer .......... 38
Prayer Partners........................................................ 39
Salvation .................................................................. 39
Evangelism............................................................... 39
AIRPORT ARRIVAL ........................................................ 40
Checklist (What to Bring): ....................................... 40
Gift Cards for Chaperones ....................................... 42
Airport Courtesy (Arrival and Departure)................ 42
Media ...................................................................... 42
Before you leave the airport ................................... 43
Heading to your Home ............................................ 43
Flight Information.................................................... 43
Designated Airport Meeting Areas.......................... 43
AIRPORT DEPARTURE .................................................. 44
Preparation.............................................................. 44
Suggested Items to Send Home with Host Child ..... 44
Checked Luggage ..................................................... 45
Carry-on Backpack ................................................... 46
Departure Day ......................................................... 46
THE “A” WORD – ADOPTION ....................................... 48
Adoption Agencies .................................................. 50
“D” Day (Decision Day) ............................................ 52
Special Comments regarding Foster Children ......... 52
If Your Host Child Did Not Find His / Her Forever Family
................................................................................. 53
If You Are Adopting ................................................. 53
Continuing Support ................................................. 53
Mission Trip Delivery to Hosted Children After Hosting54
Mailing Overseas ......................................................... 56
China Embassy Letter .................................................. 57
SPECIAL FORMS ........................................................... 58
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Agreement to Abide ................................................ 59
TRAVEL REQUEST .................................................... 60
NON-HOST FAMILY WHO WISHES TO VISIT HOSTED
CHILD ...................................................................... 61
Hosting Checklist ..................................................... 62
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Who do I call for HELP during hosting?
The rule of thumb during hosting is that your first call or email should always be to your regional
coordinator. Each regional coordinator is a veteran host parent. They have experienced many of the
issues you will face and can answer most of the questions you may have along the path of your hosting
journey. However, there are some specific office-related duties listed below, should your question
pertain to one of these things.
QUICK REFERENCE GUIDE
GENERAL QUESTIONS*
Regional
Coordinator
Chaperone Questions/Scheduling
Chaperone Cell Phone Issues
Conference Calls
Eye/Dental/Medical Release Letters
Financial Questions/Fees/Donations
Flight Arrival/Departures
Insurance Cards
Luggage Tags
Media
Medical Reports/Issues
Name Tags
Passports
Photo Online Submission
Program Promotion (Churches, etc)
Travel Form Submission
Training Class Letters
T-shirt Order/Replacement
Visiting Families
Weekly Report Submission
Conferences & Conventions
Coordinator Liaison
Lydia Rollins
Troy Peterson
Le Ann Dakake
Renee McAlpin
Mary Whittaker
Le Ann Dakake
Renee McAlpin
Le Ann Dakake
Jenelle Cozza
Dr. Beverly Lense
Le Ann Dakake
Troy Peterson
Troy Peterson
Jenelle Cozza
Renee McAlpin
Renee McAlpin
Troy Peterson
Melissa Macy
Alexandria Velez
Paula Chaffin
Alexandria Velez
*Your 1st call/email should always be to your regional coordinator, unless your question
is listed below as specifically an office related responsibility.
OFFICE RELATED RESPONSIBILITIES
770-366-5042
979-571-3799
678-574-4677 ext. 1
678-574-4677 ext. 2
678-574-4677 ext. 5
678-574-4677 ext. 1
678-574-4677 ext. 2
678-574-4677 ext. 1
216-396-0065
678-221-1313
678-574-4677 ext. 1
979-571-3799
979-571-3799
216-396-0065
678-574-4677 ext. 2
678-574-4677 ext. 2
979-571-3799
703-999-0408
678-574-4677 ext. 3
417-718-0152
678-574-4677 ext. 3
L.P.Rollins@comcast.net
tpeterson@newhorizonsforchildren.org
Ldakake@newhorizonsforchildren.org
rmcalpin@newhorizonsforchildren.org
mwhittaker@newhorizonsforchildren.org
Ldakake@newhorizonsforchildren.org
rmcalpin@newhorizonsforchildren.org
Ldakake@newhorizonsforchildren.org
jcozza@newhorizonsforchildren.org
blense@newhorizonsforchildren.org
Ldakake@newhorizonsforchildren.org
tpeterson@newhorizonsforchildren.org
tpeterson@newhorizonsforchildren.org
jcozza@newhorizonsforchildren.org
rmcalpin@newhorizonsforchildren.org
rmcalpin@newhorizonsforchildren.org
tpeterson@newhorizonsforchildren.org
mmacy@newhorizonsforchildren.org
avelez@newhorizonsforchildren.org
pchaffin@newhorizonsforchildren.org
avelez@newhorizonsforchildren.org
REGIONAL and Assistant COORDINATORS for China Hosting Program
IA, IL, MO, ND, SD, KS, OK, AR, OH, MI, IN, MN, WI
TX, YN, GA, LA, MS, AL, PA, NJ, NY, ME, NH, MA, VT, RI, CT
KY, WV, NC, SC, VA, MT, ID, WY, UT, CO, NM, AZ, WA, OR,
NV, CA, FL, MD, DC, DE
Assistant Coordinator
Assistant Coordinator
Marty Shoup
Kayla McDermitt
678-574-4677 ext. 355 mshoup@newhorizonsforchildren.org
678-574-4677 ext. 352 kmcdermitt@newhorizonsforchildren.org
Nanette Korepanov 678-574-4677 ext. 358 nkorepanov@newhorizonsforchildren.org
Bethany Allen
Heather Zentrich
ballen@newhorizonsforchildren.org
hzentrich@newhorizonsforchildren.org
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NHFC OVERVIEW
Mission Statement
To expose orphaned children from Eastern Europe and China to the love of Christ and life within
functional American families, while possibly connecting them with their "forever” (adoptive) family.
Program Overview
New Horizons for Children’s (NHFC) International Orphan Hosting Program originated in 2002 initially
as Frontiers for Children, as a Christian ministry to help improve the lives of orphaned children in
Eastern European countries. In 2005, NHFC was incorporated and became an independent 501c3
nonprofit with the continued focus of Christian families hosting orphaned children, ages 4-16, in their
homes for approximately five weeks during the summer or winter. While these children are here, they
participate in a cultural/educational program and get to experience life in a functional American
Christian family. In 2013, NHFC started its first China orphan hosting program with the same goals over
the Chinese New Year holidays (Feb/Mar).
Continual approval for the hosting program is contingent upon all families continuing to maintain
the program’s integrity in the eyes of the chaperones who travel with the children from their
homeland.
The NHFC office staff consists of Le Ann Dakake, Renee McAlpin, Mary Whittaker, Marta Ninyo and
Alexandria Velez. The NHFC Coordinators are comprised of a large base of more than 30 dedicated
volunteers committed to serving the program as a call to follow James 1:27 in their own lives. They are
trained and educated in many aspects of orphan care and the unique situations arising through
integration of an orphan into a Christian family. As a non-profit organization, NHFC depends solely on
donations from private individuals, corporations and fundraisers for support.
Program Goals
Our continued prayer is that “adoptable” children will find their “forever family” while here in the
United States. We also bring a few children deemed not adoptable, but who we feel will benefit
greatly from this program. Some, who are age 16 and older, may be eligible to return for a full year of
school as an exchange student should a host family be interested in pursuing a student visa through
the State Department. However, the main idea behind the Hosting Program is Christian ministry. With
this in mind, our goals include:
 Providing an Educational/Cultural experience, with emphasis on learning the English language.
 Allow children to learn about God, experience His love and realize they have a Father who loves
them!
 Show the children unconditional love and acceptance.
 Allow children to experience life in a functional Christian family.
 Introduce “adoptable” children to families and hopefully find their “forever family”.
 Enhance the lives of all children in our sponsored orphanages.
 Reunite siblings who may be separated in different orphanages.
Program Expectations
It is extremely easy to fall in love with a snapshot of an adorable child. Without even realizing it, we are
suddenly filled with expectations about that child and how they will respond to our love. We stare at
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the photo of our chosen host child/children and imagine a great 4-6 weeks of happily impacting their
lives forever. We grab hold of the belief in our minds that orphans naturally would love us and be
thrilled and grateful for anything we do for them, since they are being transplanted from borderline
poverty and no love or family into a land of plenty and adoring parents. What child would not be
overcome with gratitude and happiness?? Unfortunately, this is not an accurate picture of a child with
deep emotional and psychological wounds, and these types of incorrect expectations are very often a
set up for disappointment, frustration, and struggle during hosting. These types of unrealistic
expectations come unknowingly from our own personal desire for affirmation and our own human
definition of success.
Each orphan is unique and different. God never creates the same precious individual twice, and each
child has endured varying degrees of loss and trauma in their individual history. So it's nearly
impossible to exactly describe the child you are signing up to host. However, we would like to give you
an overall picture of many common characteristics, behaviors, and emotional baggage you will find in
children who come from difficult places and histories. You may experience at least one, a handful, or
even ALL of these descriptions. The purpose of this is not to scare families away, but to set more
realistic expectations of the type of ministry God is calling you to in this hosting session. It is to help
bring a better understanding that hosting a child in your home is a selfless and often difficult endeavor.
It should be entered into with the expectation of ministering to a child in a way that is completely
selfless (expecting nothing in return), with unconditional love (regardless of whether they ever respond
to your love), and with limitless grace (beyond what you may be accustomed to in parenting). Doing
this seems heroic and beautiful on paper, but actually living it out in the trenches on a daily basis with
a hurt child can be very challenging...and yet amazingly rewarding. We believe it is important to convey
this to new host families upfront, so you can begin to prepare, set accurate expectations now, and
avoid feeling blindsided once your child arrives.
Here are some common struggles families find themselves faced with:
Often it takes families several weeks to overcome unmet expectations and readjust their approach. By
then, they are halfway through hosting, and have lost precious time.
Social Skills
Many children will not understand good manners or social skills. They will not know how to engage
with your friends or respond to new people (or even to you for that matter). In a social setting they
may completely ignore someone speaking to them, act rudely to you or your friends, stare at the
ceiling, or melt down in some cases. Be aware that they are not acting out of malice or disrespect, and
do not take it as a personal affront. The situation is most likely being driven by a mix of never having
been taught manners or appropriate social skills, a language barrier that may cause them fear and
stress, an inability to convey their emotions to you, and any number of trust issues based on their past
experiences with the adults in their lives. This will require grace and patience from you and possibly a
change in plans and social schedule.
Pouting
We read the term pouting and think of our own biological children and how they pout. Many of these
orphans can take it to an extreme you may never have experienced before. They may shut down
completely for long periods of time and leave you feeling helpless and frustrated. And it may happen
on a regular basis. A frequently sullen, sulking teenager in your house is probably not what you signed
up for. However you may have to adjust your approach and look for what is driving the behavior
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instead of focusing on the behavior. Many host families have discovered that the child was shutting
down because they were overwhelmed and frustrated with the language barrier or feeling they could
not understand the family or be understood by the family. Their emotional development is delayed,
and they are in a foreign country. That is a difficult combination. You will need to show patience and
look for creative ways to give them a voice and draw them back to you while also giving them time to
process some emotions without requiring them to rejoin the family and act sociable before they are
able to. They may also be pouting simply because they’re not getting something that they want—a can
of Coke, an unhealthy snack right before supper, freedom to run off and not stay with you at the
waterpark- or Wal-Mart. Regardless, try to get to the root of the problem as it may be something as
simple as a misunderstanding or something ”lost in translation”.
Food Issues
You will experience issues and struggles surrounding food in varying degrees, because food is an
emotional trigger and evokes many different behaviors from children. Some children will horde food in
their room because they have suffered extreme hunger in the past. Some children will just not want to
eat vegetables. Other children will refuse to eat ANYTHING you put in front of them, because they
don't know about our foreign food. As much as we want all our children to make healthy eating
choices, you will not change their eating habits in five weeks. It is a losing battle. You may choose to
engage in this and require obedience from them to win the Battle of the Green Bean, but you've lost
out on a precious opportunity and risk losing more than you've gained. A great deal of bonding can
potentially take place around the dinner table if you will pick your battles wisely. Find a few individual
foods your child likes and keep them available (yogurt, bananas, hot dogs, nuts, etc.) If they want to
eat those things every day for 5 weeks, that is ok. It may seem boring and awful to you, but it provides
comfort to them. You will avoid a great deal of turmoil and free yourselves up emotionally to engage in
more productive time with your child.
Leaving the house
Many families plan activities, fun events, and outings in hopes of giving their child many new
experiences that he/she has never had the opportunity for in the past. This may include amusement
parks, museums, riding horses, play dates with other children their age, shopping, going to the beach
or lake, etc. Some children are thrilled with these things. Other children never want to leave the house,
and host families become frustrated and discouraged that all their summer plans are going up in
smoke when the child drags their feet and melts down or shuts down every time they leave the house.
There are many children who are too overwhelmed by these things; however they thrive beautifully in
the intimate setting of home and family. You won't know what to expect of your child, so be willing to
be flexible and re-adjust your expectations from the beginning. Quiet family time and the steady
predictable rhythm of day-to-day life in the home can be far more healing to some children then toting
them around town to experience new things. They have never experienced a healthy family
environment, and that experience will have far greater impact on their lives than whether they had fun
at a pottery class. You will need to watch your child at first and see what they respond well to or
negatively to. Each child is different. Make plans for activities, but set the expectation that your child
may prefer to always be home. And that is ok too. It may be very boring to you, but it is a dream come
true for them.
Control
Some families have been surprised by the extent of their child's attempts to control every situation.
This will reveal itself in many different ways; manipulation, aggression, repeatedly asking for
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something, questioning everything, attempting to "parent" the other children in the home, throwing
fits, or latching on to a parent and requiring their attention at all times. This is EXHAUSTING to many
families who will have to navigate through it every single day for 5 weeks. You will need to approach it
with grace and understand that they have lived in an institution or environment where their schedule
is rigid, constant, and beyond their control. Now they're suddenly in a family setting where the
schedule is looser and may vary on a daily basis. Their daily rhythm is disrupted, and they have no idea
what to expect. This can cause fear of the unknown and an even greater need to try to control
everything. They also have unrealistic expectations of this time, just like the families do, and they are
trying hard to get their expectations met.
Behavior toward other children in the home
Do not expect your host child to be buddies with your own children or become good playmates who
get along all month long. While it does happen in some families, it isn't always the case. Your host child
may be one who feels threatened by the biological children. They may be internally grieving the loss of
family and love that they should have had. That grief may manifest as hostility toward your children
who they resent for having what they themselves have lost. Some host children may constantly mock
or act rudely toward your children. Sometimes they try to push your children away from you and insert
themselves in an attempt to receive the love and attention. This will require grace on your part to see
past the behavior and understand where it's coming from. We have very strong emotional responses
to our children being treated badly or unfairly, and it will be difficult to respond with grace, correct the
behavior, and love unconditionally. You will have a balancing act of protecting your babies as well as
ministering to an orphan who is desperately in need of your love.
Violence
You may look through photo albums of past host sessions with New Horizons and see hundreds of
pictures of happy smiling children having the time of their lives. These are snapshots of half a second in
time and not a good indication of how every family's host experience plays out. Most of the children on
the program are not violent, but occasionally a child will become destructive in the home. There are
healthy and safe ways to respond effectively to a kicking, punching, screaming child who has lost
control of their emotions, and the New Horizons staff and Coordinators will be able to help when these
issues arise. Sometimes the behavior can be curbed, and sometimes the child will need to be moved to
a different home. It is not an easy topic to discuss, and our intent is not to scare families away but to
make you aware and readily armed with tools for the possibility. The first tool is awareness and an
understanding that you may experience the unexpected. All precautions are made during the interview
process to rule out children who may have violent tendencies. The New Horizons interview team takes
this very seriously and involves caregivers, psychologists, and foster parents in the decision making
process whenever possible. However, when a child adds the additional stress of a new environment,
rules, time zone changes, adults, culture, and language barriers, they may exhibit behaviors never
before seen from them. This is not a common occurrence, but it is a possibility to be aware of and
prepared for as best as possible.
Lack of Gratitude
This is discussed in training, on our Facebook Boards and in many other ways, and yet still continues to
surprise families as they have set expectations of a child who will appreciate what is done for them.
Your time with your host child will be much more successful and less emotionally exhausting and
frustrating if you set your own family’s expectations now that your host child may never show an
ounce of gratitude. They do not understand what it took (physically and financially) to get them here
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and it isn’t necessary to share this matter in order to try and cause guilt. They do not understand what
it takes to love unconditionally -- they've never seen it before and do not understand the sacrifice.
They do not understand your family's finances and what it is costing you to do nice things for them.
They do not know how to give positive affirmation to you, because positive affirmation has never been
given to them. They cannot give you what they do not have in them to give. You will need to model
and demonstrate how to show gratitude, but you may not receive it in return from them. How
wonderful that we can approach the God of heaven and earth and receive all the affirmation we need
from Him and be able to pour it freely on a child who has nothing to give us in return. The more you fill
their love bank with affirmation and demonstrate healthy behaviors and good manners to them, the
more they may have a point of reference as they grow into adulthood as to how to live. Remove
gratitude from your expectations and receive it as a surprise bonus if your child thanks you profusely
for gifts and acts of kindness.
In all these examples of common behaviors, the common thread is fear. These children live with deep
wounds and scars and suffer a great deal of constant fear. As each situation arises, they will either
"fight", "freeze” (shut down), or "flight." They will either act out with some sort of behavior we
consider unacceptable, or they will retreat and shut down.
There is a time period between committing to host a child and the day of your child's arrival. Use that
time to educate yourself on how to effectively minister to and love children who come from hurt
places. This training manual and day of training will help you prepare, but we recommend taking
further steps to educate yourself. There is a list of recommended books and videos on our website that
can provide amazing insight and tools for the mission you are answering God's call to.
You won't change the personality or behavior patterns of these children in 5-6 weeks. But you can
accept them as they are, arm yourself with realistic expectations, guide them with grace, pick your
battles, give them a voice, and provide a loving structure and environment of safety for them to begin
to see a love they have never known and a freedom to begin working through their hurt. It may come
naturally to you, or it make take every ounce of your energy and fortitude. When the day comes to
finally put them on the plane to go home, you may have fallen madly in love with them and feel
heartbroken to lose them, or you may be utterly relieved to see them go. In either case, the impact you
will have on them is far beyond what you may ever see or know.
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COMMUNICATION DURING HOSTING
NHFC Communication During Hosting
Your volunteer regional coordinator will be your MAIN source of information before and during the
program. Please know that WE USE EMAIL and private Facebook boards before and during the hosting
program as our primary means of communication. Please be sure to check your email at least once
daily, especially while the children are here. Monitor and join our private Facebook group for hosting
parents as there is tons of help, information, mentors and advice available practically 24 hours a day. If
you do not have email or Facebook available at home, just let us know how to contact you. Otherwise,
we expect that when something is emailed out, that you are reading it or getting it daily.
Put your Regional Coordinator’s phone number in your cell phone BEFORE the children arrive, including
our NHFC Pediatrician, Dr. Beverly. It’s hard to remember where the #’s are during a crisis. For
emergencies, remember that Dr. Beverly and Le Ann’s cell phone numbers are also listed on your
child’s ID tag.
Contacting Chaperones
Have your child call their country’s chaperone the day after they arrive and then every 5-7 days until
the end of the program. The kids may not always want to call, but it’s very important that they keep in
contact with the chaperones. KEEP A LOG OF ALL CALLS ATTEMPTED, as you may be asked to show
these later if a chaperone states they have not heard from your family/host child. Weekly online
reports also ask if you reached the assigned chaperone and were able to reach the translator when
needed as well. Do not leave a message on the cell phone’s voicemail as this is unique to the USA and
as much as we try to explain, most chaperones from other countries do not use voicemail. Texts are
more likely to be seen, but it also depends if the chaperone you are texting understands English. Most
times your call will be returned based upon a chaperone seeing a missed call on their caller ID. But, in
other cases, just keep trying and if you can’t get through after a couple of days, contact our Chaperone
Coordinator, Lydia Rollins so she can find out why the chaperone is not responding.
We sometimes have adult chaperones arrive that have their own agenda that has nothing to do with
the goals of the program. But, if the “MAMAS and PAPAS (chaperones) AIN’T HAPPY, THEN, NO ONE IS
HAPPY!” On your behalf, sometimes we are stuck trying to repair impressions or misunderstandings to
keep the program from being jeopardized in the future. Chaperones will let us know their concerns. Or,
if you are approached by a program chaperone with concerns or complaints, please give a staff
member a head’s up and encourage the chaperone to contact NHFC office staff regarding concerns.
Completing Weekly Online Report
All host families MUST complete the weekly online report. These are reviewed each week by our staff
and Regional Coordinators as well as the lead translator for each country. They are a safe place to let
us know the child’s issues and your concerns. Please be very honest with us. We cannot address a
problem that we don’t know exists. Merely sugar-coating an experience with a child will not help the
child, or your family, in the long run. Each program, we are surprised to learn (sometimes through the
“grapevine” of others) of a particular child’s issues, yet those issues were never listed in any weekly
report. Weekly reports are not only required, but a great asset to you and your host child. Place a
reminder on your calendar so we don’t have to call you individually to remind you of this requirement.
Weekly report links will be sent to you each week a day or two prior to the due date. Each link is
unique from the others, so make sure you are responding to the correct week’s report.
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Pronunciation of Your Host Child’s Name
We suggest, soon after arrival, that you ask your host child how to pronounce their name. While we’ve
tried to say it for most of you at some point, there are still children with unique pronunciations. Some
Chinese children have English names given to them by English speaking people. It is more of an honor
to have an English name given to you if you are Chinese. Chinese names (symbols) are given to English
speaking people by the Chinese in the same gesture. If your child does not have an English name, you
should talk to the Translator about helping the child obtain one from you. If they already have an
English name and you don’t like it, you should NOT change it for hosting. If you decided to later adopt,
you would then (AFTER HOSTING) have a discussion with your child about changing it. Another
interesting note is that Chinese people go by last name first, when writing or reading names. For
example, Le Ann’s son is Gao, Long Fei. Long Fei is his first name. Gao is his last name. If we did a
welcome sign, we should list it as Gao, Long Fei and not Long Fei Gao… Just a tidbit of something we
learned! When other Chinese children addressed him, they called him Gao Long Fei. But, soon enough,
they all started using and referring to each other by their English names with great pride in having one.
GROUP ACTIVITES
Local Events
If you are located near a large enough group, you will receive a schedule of the events in your area,
which typically include at least a Welcome Party and a Farewell Party. These events continue to build
trust with our chaperones that the children are happy and well taken care of. Chaperones attend these
events. It is understood that we are all very busy, but failure to attend these activities can damage
future programs. The Chinese culture is very different than ours and the chaperones may not trust
people and their motives right off the bat. We have to show that we are worthy of their trust- and earn
it. Taking part in the hosting program is making a commitment to the ENTIRE program, including the
chaperones. With the China program, we also need to make every effort to put our best foot forward
to the new chaperones who are reporting back to many different entities about our program. Hosting
from China is a new concept- specifically in the way NHFC is currently working with them. We hope
that God has opened a door to our helping even more of his orphaned children of the world through
this opportunity with China. If an emergency arises and you cannot attend, contact us so we can avoid
any awkward situations with the chaperones asking about a particular child and us not being aware of
their tardiness or absence.
You should not send your child to a planned activity with other host families or without their own host
parents unless it is absolutely necessary and it’s the only way for her/him to attend. Electronics are not
allowed at the scheduled events. Help us all avoid unnecessary distractions and showing off of
expensive items to their friends, with potential for being lost or stolen.
Expect some interesting/odd behaviors leading up to events, during events and possibly a few days
following events as the children have their “orphanage face” and their new found “family face”. Let us
know if major issues arise regarding time spent with other children on the program.
Chaperone Host Day
If you are located within 1.5 hours of a chaperone from China, it is mandatory to spend at least one day
during the program and preferably two or more since the program is close to 6 weeks. This may be an
entire day, half-day, weekend or a few days. The chaperones are also looking forward to experiencing
some fun activities while they are here and the educational aspect of American goodwill and
hospitality supports the ongoing success of NHFC by creating more spokespeople who then return to
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China and speak positively about our program and our families. Suggestions for chaperone days might
be museums, art galleries, Botanical Gardens, going to downtown areas in major cities, an Aquarium,
park, movie, theatre, zoo, concert or sporting event. Keep in mind that most chaperones do not usually
travel with much money as their incomes are very low compared to our standards. We do budget and
provide each chaperone with $50 per week for personal spending. So, you may ask if they wish to go
shopping or out to eat, but do not assume they have unlimited funds to do so. Please be sensitive to
this situation. Your family should plan to pay for the chaperone when you take them for your day out.
This should include lunch and/or dinner depending on where you are going and for how long. Offer to
take them if needed, to go to a particular store or want to pick up certain items. The chaperones from
China are generally loving, caring, conservative and intelligent people who have a true desire to
experience our culture and appreciate what our program and families are doing. Show your sincere
appreciation for them coming, for without them, there would be no program.
Remember, the time you invest with a chaperone is well invested in the program and any potential
adoption later, should your family decide to adopt. They report back to their superiors and the
orphanage directors their impressions of our program which allow us to grown into more areas and
help more children.
Communication with some chaperones can be difficult because of the language barrier, but not
impossible. If they are not fluent in English, the visit can still be pleasant and you may be surprised at
how much can be communicated through body language. Don’t forget to use your dictionaries, get
translator apps on Smart Phones or tablets (some allow you to speak into it and it speaks Mandarin
and vice versa), order a paper dictionary and use the online ones as well. If you are seeking other
interpreters on your own who speak Mandarin, please go over basic rules of do’s and don’ts in
discussions with the children. (See page Error! Bookmark not defined.) A well-meaning interpreter
can easily say something not allowed in our program, while feeling it important to “help out” and ask
the child about living with your family or moving to America. This CANNOT be hinted at or discussed AT
ALL. Don’t allow translators who may not be familiar with our program an all access pass to your host
child; they too must be educated about what should not be discussed.
Coordinating with a Chaperone
Coordinate with the chaperones and their host family for drop off and pick up as the chaperones do
not drive. It is important to remember to plan events with the chaperone’s host family or chaperone
coordinator, because the chaperone does not always know, understand or remember possibly
conflicting plans or prior engagements that their host family has already scheduled. It is the host
family’s responsibility to pick up and return a chaperone on their chaperone host day or make
arrangements to meet someone. Anyone who wants to spend extra time with the chaperones should
try to contact the chaperone coordinator or the chaperone’s host family at least 48 hours in advance to
make the request. It may seem like a wonderful gesture to invite a chaperone to do something with
your family while talking at a group event, but keep in mind they probably do not know their schedules
well enough to know when they have commitments with other families. Some chaperones don’t realize
they don’t speak enough English to understand you if you speak to them without an interpreter. So, be
careful about getting into the “nodding game” and assuming you were understood. If you can, try to
coordinate with other host families nearby to pass a chaperone to someone who can pass them to
someone further out to help everyone not have to drive so far. If you plan an overnight event, make
sure the chaperone knows to pack an overnight bag as well.
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Chaperone Selection
Each country selects their own chaperones for each trip. Sometimes they could be a “medical person”,
but realize that a Chinese medical worker or doctor may not be trained to the standards of an
American doctor. But, they may love and be thrilled to visit a local hospital, specialty medical center
etc. Others may include orphanage directors, Social Workers, general caregivers or teachers and ALL
ARE personally held legally liable for the children in the states during the program. While the Chinese
chaperones all speak Mandarin, many will also speak a local dialect. Some speak a good deal of English
as well.
Please do not put ANY chaperone on the spot and ask specific questions about a child. The children
come from many different orphanages and may have only met some chaperones on the day of travel.
DO NOT ask any questions regarding ADOPTION or ADOPTABILITY from ANY CHAPERONE without
first speaking with NHFC staff. This is officially and legally only a HOSTING program. If a chaperone
asks you personally about your adoption intent, explain it is a consideration, but as this is a hosting
program, you’re treating it as such. The chaperones may have questions for you. Be honest in your
answers, and remember our translator will help you to explain things appropriately as well. Every
orphan governing entity is different; courts in the countries we serve are sometimes spread out and
vary by region. Just because you are speaking with a chaperone who is from one particular region, does
not mean they will have knowledge of the workings of other levels of government that also preside
over orphans. In China especially, there are many levels and layers of government that work
autonomously and don’t always have a clear flow or agree. So do not panic if they tell you something
that seems out of line with something NHFC has told you. Please contact us and we’ll speak with you
about it. Chaperones have innocently “ignited fires” with their comments MANY times before and we
kindly ask you to bring the concern to us prior to sharing with other unsuspecting host parents who
would likely only worry too. When a chaperone is asked a question he or she doesn’t know the answer
to, culturally, they may make one up in order to “save face” and nor appear ignorant of the answer.
Remember, not only does each country operate differently in regards to orphans, but even more, we
see that each orphanage gas their own judges, social workers, and respond to situations differently.
We understand host families have concerns and want every possible detail of each child’s past and
history. However, this is considered “confidential” information and we are not authorized as hosting
parents to know it all. If you were to move to the “adoption” phase, then you would have a legal right
to know everything through due process of your adoption agency’s representatives. The chaperones
will not have most of the answers about each child’s history or specifics. Please direct these questions
to NHFC and we will try our best to contact our in-country partner to find out more.
Be aware of cultural/political issues at the present time regarding internationally adopted children in
America having been recently murdered or tragically abused. It’s a hot topic and the chaperones may
be aware of these issues as well. In China there is a REAL black market for harvesting and selling organs
to others, so it isn’t just rumor of such things occurring. People can be kidnapped and return with
surgical scars and without certain organs! Because of these things, it is a common question or concern
as to why Americans want to adopt older children and bring them home. What we do as Christians in
serving orphans does not make any sense to those who are not Christians and not Americans.
(Sometimes other Christians and other American’s don’t get it either!) Also, in China, the “Social
Security Plan” for the elderly is determined by the success of their child. The child is expected to care
for their parents when they age. So, considering this cultural attitude, it would make sense to a
Chinese person that Americans want more children to care for them when the age to have a better
retirement. Many times answers like “to use them for body parts or medical experimentation” are
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mentioned and accepted by most in Eastern Europe and rural areas in China (where many of our kids
come from) as factual! A few years ago, the president of Belarus, was publicly asked at a public rally
why foreigners adopt so many children from their orphanages. He said his honest opinion was that
they used them for testing and body parts. A few weeks later all adoptions were shut down and the
country continues to remain closed. Most recently, however, Russian President Putin signed a law that
disallows Americans from adopting Russian orphans. Many Russians supported this because of their
feeling that Americans use and abuse the children they adopt in negative and inhumane ways. These
are just very real examples how perceived feelings can take over regardless of reality, and shut a
country down for hosting and adoption.
While large parts of China are more westernized in many ways than our Eastern European countries, it
is still a Communist country. Be considerate of this situation and don’t talk negatively about their
country, Communism, or engage in discussions about negative Chinese history such as Tiananmen
Square, the large number of abortions, abandonment of female babies or the “one child” law. If a
chaperone or translator brings something up in a casual discussion, please be courteous and offer your
opinion, but keep it simple and short. America is very FREE and OPEN and while we don’t always feel
like it, the freedoms we have are HUGE compared to China. Realize they do not have access to internet
sites such as YouTube and Facebook and many websites are censored and closed for Chinese people to
access. Many do not even know such things exist. Group gatherings for any reason are carefully
monitored. There are known “underground” or “home churches” perhaps similar to our Bible study
groups, but if the government feels they are getting too organized or too large, the group is asked to
break up or fear being arrested. Talking openly about religion, especially Christianity, is against the law.
One last note: most people in China do not realize how much stuff is “made in China” and shipped to
other countries. It is made in the factories and exported to other countries like the USA, but it is not
sold or made available to those who live in China. We saw that the chaperones and kids were amazed
to realize this when they came to visit our country on the last program. Allow them to be proud of the
goods that their country makes and do not feel the need to point out the negatives about the quality of
the goods, their factories, or any known/reported conditions of the factories and workers. Remember
that these factories are where many of the orphans end up working if they are fortunate to have jobs.
It isn’t always by choice that a person ends up in less than desirable conditions.
Travel Plans
You must submit a travel document for any out of town travel plans, 200+ miles radius from your
home. In the back of this manual is a document that must be submitted to us prior to travel with your
host child. NHFC and chaperones MUST know where each child is, at any given time. Travel within the
continental United States is generally okay, however, children and chaperones are not allowed to cross
the border or leave the country for any reason. They would not be allowed re-entry as their VISA is for
one-entry and one-exit only. Children should never spend the night away from their official host family,
unless it is a documented emergency and approval has been obtained from the staff of NHFC.
SPECIAL ISSUES (Including Medical)
Reasons a Host Child Will Be Moved
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During the course of the host program, it is sometimes in the best interest of the host child and host
family to move a host child to another home. We do NOT take this decision lightly or without just
cause. Otherwise, it goes against our message of showing unconditional love to a host child and
parenting them in a way that allows them to correct mistakes. The following are reasons a child will be
moved:
 Child is repeatedly (after correction and showing the child how to behave) hurting other people
or pets in the home
 Child is purposefully damaging home property
 Family has major crisis such as death of an immediate family member
 When a chaperone contacts NHFC and tells us to move a child from a host family for any reason
 In the end, NHFC has the right to move a host child from any host family, for any reason that is
deemed in the best interest of the child and the future of the hosting program
In all cases, permission must first be obtained and given in order to move a host child. Again, we stress
that moving a child should be THE last resort. The host family is NOT permitted to MOVE a child
without permission to any home other than one that New Horizons for Children has pre-approved as a
back-up family.
Steps that must be taken before a host child is moved to a back-up family
1. Contact Regional Coordinator (email, text, call- do all 3 if needed).
2. Contact translator and child’s chaperone for verbal discussions with child in native language.
3. Complete your weekly reports to accurately describe situation so NHFC is aware there is a
problem.
4. Keep a written log of the situation/problem, steps taken to alleviate/solve the problem and
inform your Regional Coordinator who will involve NHFC staff and more resources to help.
When a move is requested, this written report must be submitted to show every possible step
has been attempted to avoid a move so these notes are very important.
5. If you are sharing on the private Facebook board, genuinely seeking advice, this is encouraged.
But realize concerning comments made are taken seriously by NHFC and help/intervention will
be enacted based upon the impression of what you are leaving with others online. However,
this should not be your primary way of reaching out to alert NHFC staff, Regional Coordinator,
the child’s chaperone, translator that you need help! See STEP #1.
6. In writing, email that your request to move your host child based upon notes from your log kept
of the situations and steps taken to rectify the situation. This is required to get permission to
move a child from any of our countries. Keep in mind, if we submit this request on a Friday, the
Orphanage in China will not hear about it until Monday. So, be aware of holidays and weekends
that can cause delays in getting permission to make a move.
7. If steps above have been followed, NHFC staff and the child’s chaperone will seek approval to
move the child from their home country authority, a back-up family will be identified and
arrangements will be made to inform and transfer the child.
Backup Families
The original host family is NOT permitted to move their host child to any other family. The host family
is not to contact any other family about taking your host child as a backup. Backup families are
available through New Horizons for Children. Our backup families MUST have completed the NHFC
application, background checks, attended training, completed a home safety visit and returned
necessary signed paperwork including the prompt return agreement. The requirements for our backup
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families are the same as any other host family. This is why a host family cannot simply move their child
to another family who has not been pre-approved through our organization. In the same way that
original host families cannot move the host child to any other family, once a child is approved for a
specific backup family, the BACKUP family CANNOT move the host child to any other family.
Insurance
NHFC provides catastrophic medical insurance for every host child. A medical deductible is required if
an emergency arises. After you receive your card, you may wish to check ahead of time to see who is a
network provider in your area. In-network providers will be paid at 90% of the total expenses incurred
after the $250 deductible is met. Non-network providers are only paid at 80% of usual and customary
fees or agreed contracted rates. Keep this information with you at all times as you never know when
you might need it. Small, locally owned pharmacies can/will probably give you a better price (or may
even donate) prescriptions, if needed, whereas “big box chain stores” have no option to be flexible.
However, check for the list of $4 generic prescriptions from pharmacies such as WalMart, Kroger and
Publix Pharmacies offer some antibiotics free of charge.
An extreme sports rider can be added to a family’s policy PRIOR to the child’s arrival if desired. This
covers things such as snow skiing, water skiing etc. Contact Mary Whittaker at:
mwhittaker@newhorizonsforchildren.org for specifics if this is of interest to your family. This cannot
be added after the policies have been purchased which is usually done 2 months prior to the children’s
arrival.
Bedwetting
Some children may not have issues with this, but you will want to have plastic sheets on the host
child’s bed, regardless of age. Adjusting to the time difference can confuse their bodies and accidents
may happen. For younger children pull up diapers may be needed at night and
during the day until the child gets acclimated to our time zone and how to get
their needs met when they need to go. Note that in China, young children (not
babies) do not wear diapers and have “split pants” so when they squat, the pants
open, and the child just “goes” wherever they are outdoors!
Dental/Eye Appointments
Call now to schedule a dental exam and eye exam for each host child. Many
practitioners will agree to provide services free of charge or for reduced fees. Plan appointments early
in the program, so if glasses are needed, they will be done in time for the child to take home. If a lot of
dental work is suggested, you have time to schedule appointments or look for a dentist to donate
services. In many areas of the country, LensCrafters and Sears national chains, will offer a free eye
exam and a pair of eyeglasses if needed. LensCrafters program is called OneSight:
http://www.lenscrafters.com/lc-us/onesight. You will need to call in advance to find out what
documentation is needed in order to be seen. NHFC generally is requested to provide a letter
explaining the program and to confirm the child is an orphan before you can make the appointment.
This is a special program they offer for underprivileged children and appointments are limited. This
letter of introduction is available through Renee McAlpin at the office:
rmcalpin@newhorizonsforchildren.org. Please do not contact her on the day of your appointment
asking for it to be sent the same day or call her from the dental or eye doctor’s office. PLEASE PLAN
AHEAD.
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Consider asking your own eye doctor or dentist if they are willing to donate any services. Ask around
your church to see if anyone is a dentist. If at any time you need a letter from NHFC validating you are
at liberty to seek this treatment, we will gladly provide one for you. The children may be afraid of the
dentist at first. In their home country, dental treatments often do not include Novocain or numbing
medications. Any fillings, extractions or root canals are done with no anesthetic. Can you imagine?
Here, once they understand that it doesn’t hurt, they’ll calm down. Calling the Chinese chaperone to
discuss prior to the appointment helps a lot too! Dion came on the first program and also ended up at
the dentist, so he had first-hand experience!
With any medical appointment (dental, eye or urgent), submit an informal write-up of the
appointment date and results to NHFC for the child’s records. This is also necessary if we need to
validate the exams were done.
Email copies of medical, dental, vision visit write-ups to rmcalpin@newhorizonsforchildren.org.
General Medical Concerns & Emergencies
We are not allowed to take children for any medical checkups or treatments unless prior approval is
obtained from the lead chaperone. Emergencies are a different situation; handle them immediately
and alert NHFC if one occurs. We may need to locate a chaperone to attend doctor or emergency room
visits, as well as an interpreter for you. Remember, one of our Board members is a Pediatrician, and
you should call her for any medical concerns. No matter what city/time zone you are in, please text
and call Beverly Lense, MD at 678-221-1313 day or night! TEXTs are better for her during the day as
she may be with a patient and can look at a text and respond easier than taking a call. If you notice any
medical concerns with your hosted child (asthma, allergies, rotten teeth, etc.) please alert us. A simple
call of concern to Dr. Beverly during two past programs revealed appendicitis and required emergency
surgery! Don’t hesitate to check out something that isn’t quite right! She is dedicated to our program,
our mission and our host children.
If your child gets a cold or is “sick”, let us know and plan to take him or her to your pediatrician. You
may need to pay the normal office visit fee. Many doctors will waive this or reduce it once you explain
you have an orphan child and are hosting them for the summer or winter. If you have an emergency,
do all you can to contact the appropriate members of NHFC, but in case of an emergency, the #1 object
is to treat the child. Do as you would for your own child in a similar situation. If asked about allergies to
medications, state you DON’T KNOW, unless you have been specifically told about one to any doctors
who may ask.
Medication
Upon arrival, check your child’s things to make certain there is no evidence of medication being given
to the child. We do ask each orphanage about medication for the children, but sometimes a child is
placed on medication between our interview and arriving in America for hosting. If you find any
medication, call Dr. Beverly so she can understand what the child is taking. She will also be able to call
in prescription refills if necessary.
In some rare cases, children may have meds from China with them. Each child in the first Chinese
group arrived with a little bag of an assorted mixture of nasal sprays, pills and creams. Nothing was
labeled and it alarmed everyone. A call to the translator didn’t result with instant answers. But, after
he spoke to one of the older children, it was realized they had been sent with all kinds of over the
counter things similar to what you might take to another country: tums, anti-diarrhea, aspirin, eye
| 17
drops, motion sickness pills, nasal spray for allergies… Each family was asked to take the bag and place
it in their medicine cabinet. If the child needed something, they told the translator and the family
typically used American products and not the unlabeled items. Please call us if you have any concerns.
Chinese children in orphanages are not usually taking prescription medications, but with the new
group of special needs children, they might show up with something we don’t expect and we are not
at liberty to take them off of these without approval.
Lice
We suggest checking your child as quickly as possible upon arrival for lice and, if confirmed, use a Lice
shampoo on your hosted child. This should be done with sensitivity. Lice are very common in the
orphanages. While your host child may not have originally had it, with so many children traveling
together, sometimes only a handful of children can spread it in the close quarters of airplane travel. To
avoid having it in your home, clean all the child’s clothes and belongings upon arrival. If you notice Lice,
please let us know so we can alert other host parents. This is a concern with children from China!
Car Safety & Outdoor Safety
Some kids have NO clue about car safety and seat belts. Be prepared and require this FROM THE
BEGINNING. It can become somewhat stressful. All children should be wearing helmets while riding
bicycles and skateboards. Please exercise discipline in this area to protect the host children, maybe
even more than you normally would. The law in many states requires children age 16 and under to
wear a helmet at all times when riding a bicycle. If your own children do not follow these laws, they
will need to set a good example of compliance while the kids are here as well. MOTORCYCLES, 4WHEELERS and other motorized riding machines ARE NOT ALLOWED for host children. Our insurance
DOES NOT COVER accidents that may result from these. It does not matter if you plan to pay out-ofpocket in case of emergency. THEY CANNOT DO IT. Shooting guns is NOT ALLOWED. No target practice,
deer hunting, shooting ranges or lessons are allowed in regards to guns of any kind. Use your discretion
for allowing/introducing “nerf” style guns, but airsoft guns are not allowed. Laser Tag is considered ok.
Car Sickness: EXPECT YOUR CHINESE CHILD TO EXPERIENCE MOTION SICKNESS AND
prepare to have over the counter pills to start your way home from the airport.
One of the hardest adjustments for some host children, in the beginning, is coping with the idea that a
host family continuously uses the car to go somewhere, like taking siblings to school, picking them up,
going to the grocery store, getting gas for the car, taking siblings to extracurriculars and on and on. All
have never had to run errands before, in fact, most probably never spent much time out of the few
rooms at the orphanage or walking in nearby villages. This much time in the car can be a cause for a
great deal of stress for some host children. And, it stands to reason that the only way some have to
communicate that is a tantrum. Just put yourself in their shoes and imagine they might be saying, I
hate this, I didn't sign up for this, why do they get to go places and I just sit here and watch, I don't
even want to go into the car again! If your child gets car sick regularly, try "Sea Bands" to wear on
wrists, ginger tabs and/or Hylands Motion Sickness Natural Tabs. There are also chewable and
dissolving tablets over the counter in the pharmacy in most pharmacies such as Dramamine.
Fear of the Dark
Many host kids would keep every light on in their room to sleep if allowed! Make certain there is a
lamp, nightlight or even a string of Christmas lights to provide some illumination in the room at night.
Many hate to be alone, ever.
R.A.D. (Reactive Attachment Disorder)
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Missing all of the regular interactions that babies growing up in families have each day, that parents
provide without thought, holding a baby while crying, providing interesting toys to play with that allow
a child to learn, meeting hunger and thirst with food and drink… these all are the building blocks for
trust, logical thinking, social interaction and so much more. When a child lives in an orphanage and
misses out on all of these interactions, catching up is tough and they certainly will lag behind their
similar age and stage peers here in the USA, even in something as foundational as how to be a good
friend. You can't just hurry up the catching up in development process; they’ve missed years of
discovery. You can’t “microwave maturity.” Some things can present themselves as RAD, but they are
not.
RAD is commonly misdiagnosed as Bi-Polar, ADD or ADHD, as they have similar symptoms. Some signs
of RAD are an inability to learn how to hug, make eye contact, cannot put others first in any situation
(all about “me”), chronic lying, anger, trouble connecting with mother of the family, extremely
manipulative, overly loving towards father and not with mother. This is serious stuff with very poor
outcomes. All orphans and children who have lived in institutions have trust and bonding issues. That is
very different than RAD and over time will be corrected. Please use caution when reading online sites
about RAD. There are many different types and many different opinions about it that are posted
without medical knowledge or first-hand experiences. Not all kids are alike, and not all kids with RAD
are the same either. Le Ann’s oldest daughter, adopted at 13, now an adult, has RAD and Dr. Beverly
also has first-hand experience with RAD in a prior host son. Only time will tell and 5 weeks is typically
plenty of time to discern this, if you talk with us honestly about your concerns.
School Attendance or Testing
School aged Chinese children expect and are told they will study English while here. You should plan
some daily lessons for them and be a good teacher as that is one of THEIR main goals…learn English.
Their attitudes towards learning, education and school are much more positive than we have and
especially compared to our kids and host kids from Eastern Europe. If you have never home schooled,
get on our Facebook China Host Family page and ASK!! There are lots of ideas and ways to do this.
However, there should be no specialized testing taking place during hosting. This includes medical
tests, educational and psychological tests. This would be confusing and potentially damaging to the
host program. Do not, under any circumstances, setup testing for any host child. If you would like to
discuss this, please call Le Ann directly as the only exception to this rule would be permission granted
from the country of origin, which is rare. Hosted children can visit with local schools and attend school
parties and functions, with the permission of the school, and if the child is comfortable doing so. You
cannot enroll a host child in any school, whether public or private, during hosting and do not send
them to daycare centers. Again, there should be no educational testing taking place during hosting.
The reasons for this are because the majority of people in their country of origin will assume we are
testing the children for body parts. (You’ll read more on that later.)
As with all kids, if you will require certain things FROM THE BEGINNING,
those three little words (FROM THE BEGINNING) will save you a lot of re-direction later!
These children, as all children, need consistency!
Therefore, you need to lay out and repeat your expectations for them early on,
versus getting upset with them later because they aren’t following a routine.
CLOTHING
Sizing
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Clothing sizes will tend to run age appropriate or one to two sizes smaller but definitely SLIM. Ask your
friends and church family for gently used clothing donations. The kids are used to wearing the same
clothes over and over again. They aren't expecting clothing with tags on them, so don't think they will
even notice. Make the shoe store employees size the children if you are buying new. They'll need to
wear these shoes the next 6-12 months probably. And, they’ll be tempted to say everything fits fine
because they rarely have anything that actually fits them. Shoes for Chinese children are one of the
most important things you will send them home with from the program. Make sure you get a good
fitting pair of shoes as they are expensive for orphanages to obtain in China.
Items brought from their home country
The children that arrive with clothing will likely have things that do not fit them well. Most children
don’t want to wear what is brought with them, as it was packed by an orphanage caregiver, not
themselves. Do not force them to wear these things. Upon arrival, clean all the child’s clothing and
place it together neatly in one area, so it isn’t lost. You will need to return all items brought with the
child regardless of the style or level of wear/tear. You cannot determine something is not important
and decide NOT to return it with the child. Especially with the Chinese children- some who are coming
that have relationships with extended family, these items are not owned by the child, and MUST be
returned with the child, even if it fills half their suitcase. Return everything, lose nothing. Use space
bags to shrink clothing to fit better if needed in their luggage.
Washing Clothes by Hand
In the past, some children have taken their clothes into their bathrooms and washed them by hand in
the first couple days. This is a common practice for the children in their orphanages. Usually, showing
them your washing machine and dryer will eliminate their perceived need to do this. For the few diehards though, don’t make this a big battle, give them a little time and continue to encourage them to
allow you to wash their things with the other family members clothing. Again, if necessary and things
are starting to get a little smelly, it’s ok to slip into their room after they fall asleep and wash the items
overnight.
Tween/Teen Girls
In general, Chinese culture is very conservative; perhaps more so than in some parts of America and in
some of our Christian host families. In China, children are treated as such and remain children until
they are in later high school or go to college. They are dressed as children and treated as children.
There is a great respect and demanded from a child towards an adult in most situations. Be sure
clothing is appropriate. Remember, it’s ok to say no or to make suggestions- just as with your own
children. If needed, call a chaperone. It’s best, however, to speak with a NHFC staff member or your
Coordinator so they can pre-alert the chaperone of the situation’s importance.
On each weekly report, we do request the weight and height of the hosted child in order to track their
progress while here. Certainly, this can be a sensitive issue for some teen girls on our program. If you
find that you have a sensitivity issue, just let us know and certainly we will not force you to weigh her
for the duration of the program. The issue is further complicated due to the fact that they measure in
kilograms overseas and we measure in pounds, which will produce a “larger” weight as far as the
number they see on the scale.
Teen Boys
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It is our expectation that most of the boys coming to us from China will not be interested in the Hip
Hop or Punk Rock Cultures and will seek to gain host parent approval in most of what they wear.
Please be consistent from the beginning and if a particular style is not acceptable in your householdrequire that of your host child; but understand that your own children may be less conservative than
the ones coming from China… and that’s ok. Chinese children may be shocked and actually stare or
laugh at our American kids who dress in the Hip Hop style as they’ve never seen it before. Many of the
older kids learn and perform with groups from their orphanages to raise awareness and donations for
the orphanage. They may know Chinese cultural dance, pop dances (MJ is popular right now), stage
magic and magic tricks if from Luoning orphanage.
You may find that boys will wear their underwear under swimsuits. Others may not readily change
their clothes. Generally, orphanage children get one outfit per week and wear that outfit daily for the
entire week. If that is the case, you may need to slip their clothes out of their room after they go to
sleep in order to have the opportunity to clean them. Others may have a preference for long pants
instead of shorts, even though it’s summertime. You can’t fully know a child’s preference, but can
encourage them with more choices, reminding them that all the items in their room are for them. You
can consider laying clothing out the night before if matching is a big issue for you. Most of the boys
won’t be too terrific at matching as it’s never really been an issue for them! This might be one of those
areas where you learn to “pick your battles.”
Name Tags
Nametags will be given to your host child. Kids must wear their nametags any time they are outside
your home. They have important security information including NHFC staff names and phone numbers,
in case they become lost. Some children will not want to wear them, but it’s not optional. Others will
want to tuck them inside their shirts. That is acceptable as long as you know they have them on their
bodies. This is explained to them prior to coming so it shouldn’t be a huge problem. If it is, call a
chaperone. Make a copy in order to have a replacement name tag. Some of the younger children chew
on the plastic. Try not to lose it. We do not generally have time to redo them throughout the program.
Make a copy early and office stores can do the laminating if you find you need to replace it. They may
remove the nametag when swimming, but please keep it close at hand and make sure they put it back
on upon exiting the water.
CULTURAL DIFERENCES
Family Concept
Recently, I read the following analogy on a blog discussing adopted children:
Assuming that an orphan does want a family, wanting something does not make the transition
to it easier. My analogy is when I become pregnant. All my life I had wanted to be a mother. I
was fortunate that I was able to get pregnant. Then came the morning sickness and the
hormones made me feel depressed and scared. I feared that if this did not work out, it was all
my fault. I had what I had longed for, but it was hard. I cried because I didn't think I could feel so
sick and unhappy for another day, and yet, this was what I had wanted. Luckily the second
trimester brought relief from feeling so awful and I was able to enjoy the rest of the pregnancy.
Although we wanted our daughter so much and were so happy to have her, the transition into
parenthood is huge. It is life changing and takes a lot of communication and adjustment. I
imagine that a child in a group home can feel similar. They want a family, but then once there, it
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is harder than they thought. Their day to day life is nothing like it was before, there are new
rules, new people, new ways to interact, and it is scary and hard and the joy of getting what
they wanted, is dwindling as they fear that what they wanted is not what they thought it would
be. They worry, if this doesn't work, it is all my fault, what have I done? What have I asked for?
What have I agreed to? How can I fix this? Will I be able to do this? So, while that doesn't
necessarily give guidance on how to help the child, maybe thinking in those terms, with that
analogy, will help all of us adopting orphans to be able to empathize.
The concept of "family" is foreign to them in that the American way of family life is completely
different than what they have experienced. Many are on their own to get up, get ready for school, walk
20 minutes to school, etc. During any free time, which in Chinese educational culture is rare and
extremely limited, they are given free-reign to wander the orphanage grounds and in a 3-4 mile radius.
For others, their routine is so structured daily that they actually have difficulty transitioning to a less
regimented routine, for some that can mean a difficult time accepting help from anyone with even
basic tasks.
For some orphans, when they envision family, some think it might mean fewer rules. So, when a host
parent asks the child to do something like hold your hand when crossing the street, the host child
might not want to listen, thinking initially they’ve had enough of being “bossed around” by the
caregivers and didn’t expect a host mother to fill that role. On the contrary, many expect the host
father to “be the boss!” and not be a caring, loving and gentle parent.
Food Preferences
Some of the children are eager to try new American foods while others are not. Either way, recognize
that their taste buds will not change in 4-5 weeks. If you have a picky eater, try to encourage him/her
to at least try something new. Take them to a buffet-style restaurant where they can see and pick out
their own food. Golden Corral, Ryan’s or a Chinese or Asian buffet can save many stressed out families
who can’t get their child to eat. Remember how you would feel traveling to a foreign country and
consider if you couldn’t ask “what is it?” Not only will the food be different, but the beverages and the
service as well. Many of our host children will have never used a fork or a knife- just a very different
looking spoon. Americans eat much more than kids who live in orphanages; especially meat. They
won’t starve if they eat only a little bit or try to live on starches. Just DO NOT live on fast-food as the
chaperones view this as very unhealthy for the kids and are often complaining about this.
In China, carbs are the main staple of their diet. They do eat cooked vegetable and some meats but use
chopsticks for most everything. In some regions spicy Szechuan style is popular, but not all. Each area
of China has it’s own style of food. Chinese food ranges from Hunan, Kungpao, Fu yung, Mongolian and
Szechuan…. and of course there’s always lo mein and rice. If your child is arriving with an English
name, there’s a good chance they’re from the Szechuan area so their foods are a little more spicy at
times. For ALL areas- lots of eggs for protein, boiled peanuts, cashews at times, and unfortunately- fish
with the heads still on. Past host families have told us you can’t go wrong with ramen noodles. When in
doubt, take them shopping with you and let them pick out some things. Pieces of steak and whole
pieces of meat that need to be cut with knives are going to be unusual to most kids. Bear in mind that
in many orphanages, the kids are served a plate with minimal food and are not allowed to serve
themselves. Personal experience has shown that to serve them gets the best results. Decision-making
and empowerment to choose will be a new and sometimes difficult experience for them. Chinese food
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is eaten with chopsticks, so a knife needed to cut food at the table is weird. Knives are used to prepare
food for cooking :>
Keep in mind that while healthy, fruit (when available) is like a dessert in China. Leaving it out as a
healthy snack option may not be the best choice seeing as the amount of sugar, even in fruit, may be
more than they are used to and it may lead them to be hyper, “wired” and aggressive. Be careful of the
sugar overload, even from natural sources such as fruit.
Encourage seconds, as that is not usually an option in an orphanage. Try not to have excessive waste,
as it creates an assumption of “they have so much, they just throw it out.” These assumptions can
quickly and easily carry over into other things like desiring additional clothes or toys. Do NOT force a
child to eat something or be punished for not eating it. We have seen lots of mystery meat on our
interview trips and if someone forced us to eat it, we’d have puked! Not that it is really horrible; it’s
just not what we are USED to seeing/eating.
Offer as many new things as you can, you might be surprised how much your child enjoys new and
different foods…. And by how much they eat! Read online about Chinese culture or Chinese recipes.
Encourage and allow the child to help some nights to cook. Consider a visit to a local Chinese/Asian
food or grocery store in your area so the child can pick out some favorite items from home. Then, your
family can also try new foods, along with the hosted child.
Make candy, goodies and other things together for fun. Let the kids help you in the kitchen. Many of
the girls know how to cook and the boys enjoy it too. Make homemade candies and baked items and
take to others as gifts. Plan a day to deliver baked items to a retirement community home or an event
to help the less fortunate. During one of the past Christmas programs, the chaperones stayed with
Le Ann for Christmas lunch and made hard candies and peanut brittles in the microwave afterwards.
They ended up with a friendly powdered sugar war. Trust was built and walls fell down very quickly. In
one of our orphanages, it is common when Americans come to visit, to teach them how to make
Chinese dumplings… that sometimes end up in a flour war. Have and share your sense of humor and
love for others. Show American hospitality to the chaperones and be the one to make the move first.
With your kids, consider a pre-planned, innocent “food fight” or icing smear. One family mom knew
dad was coming home soon, had the boys do cookies and she started the icing war, knowing dad would
walk in any moment. When dad came home, he knew just what to do! JOIN IN THE FUN. Remember
the horrible life experiences these kids may have had with adults and parents. BE DIFFERENT. Shock
and surprise in a good way! Have your own children join in on the fun as well.
Overeating or Hoarding
Occasionally there are some children who eat host families out of house and home. Generally, let the
child eat and it will slowly subside after about 2 weeks. It’s not a situation to worry excessively about.
Some of them don’t understand moderation and others get frustrated in making the simplest of
decisions. Encourage and praise for small decisions they do make and show alternatives when the best
isn’t made… without crushing or condemning them. A way to alleviate the child always asking for food
(or just taking it) is to allow the child to hold the food in their pocket or take it with them in the car
with the understanding that they can eat it at a designated time. Use a translator for this to help the
child feel secure. You personally know he/she will eat at the restaurant, but the child doesn’t know for
certain that he will not go hungry.
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However, if the issue is snacks, consider having sweets put away from the beginning. Without access to
sweets in their orphanage, many are not able to regulate and control themselves appropriately while
staying in the host home if a variety of snacks is constantly available. Gaining some weight is to be
expected while on hosting, let’s just make sure it’s from good nutrition versus sweets. Try not to
provide soda regularly as these are also not typical in their culture and are not healthy. In China it is
rare to get sweets and it is difficult to find candy in most stores. The kids will naturally crave and
gravitate toward these things, so make sure they are limited.
Manners
Try to teach your child good manners that are customary to America, they will not arrive with
“American” manners. (See: Top 20 Things Host Families Should Know About Chinese Orphans.) Teach
them how to shake hands, greet others, use Kleenex, make eye contact and how to respond to
compliments. Teach the boys to open doors for women and girls. Teach “please and thank you.”
Encourage “good gestures” such as thumbs up, thumbs down and “high five.” Cutting in line is
common and cultural; gently correct this behavior. Be on the lookout for the middle finger, it is
sometimes used in the orphanages. However, when Le Ann asked the chaperone from China on the
first program to explain this was a bad thing, in preparation for the worst, he said “They will have no
idea what something like that is.” And he was right, as we had no one doing this. But, with new
regions, we have new potential. Just be prepared for occasional differences in expressions and instead
of being horrified and appalled, plan to nip this from the first time you ever see it. “Hawking loogies”
on the ground and blowing snot onto the ground in public is a common occurrence in all of China that
crosses all boundaries of socio-economic groups!
Encourage eye contact until it becomes habit. Kids are often taught not to look at adults while they are
speaking to them and disciplining them. Seeing as discipline may be a very bad experience for them in
their orphanage, it’s also possible that a child could completely shut down and stop interacting with
the host parent. This is usually tied to their fear that a very drastic punishment, by our standards, is
coming their way. In their past, it’s very possible that when they “messed up”, they were shipped out!
Coping mechanisms are as different as you and I. We all handle things differently and you cannot
expect their coping mechanism to change inside of 4-5 weeks. Forgiveness is something we are
teaching as Christ taught us.
Even beyond eye contact, another positive lesson is learning body language. Body language certainly
can “speak” words. Facial expression is key and if necessary, you may need to show your host child to
look at your face, prior to responding to someone in a negative or positive way. For instance, as the
host parent, they will be able to see if you are smiling, angry, sad, etc. It’s HUGE for them to look at
you, or another adult or child, and read your face before responding. With the language gap, especially
when kids play together, it really helps them to learn to study faces before reacting. In China it is very
disrespectful for a child to do this with an adult. So, there will be a learning curve and weird reception
to it at first.
Hygiene
The children (and some adults) in China are not used to showering, bathing or changing their clothes
daily as we are accustomed to here in America. They have not had the luxury of baths and some, even
teen boys, love to take bubble baths. Don’t get the water too hot. As compared to their systems,
slightly warm water is best. Since they are not used to hot water, it could make them nauseous. We’ve
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had sea sickness result from hot tubs and garden tubs! But, at the right temperature, a surprise bubble
bath in a garden tub with music, candles and a bowl of popcorn has really bonded a few kids with their
host family! Make sure to offer privacy as well. Don’t be surprised if the children wish to lock the
bathroom door as you consider that hygiene issues may be due to other past issues such as previous
abuse. Set a bathing routine from the beginning. Some kids may wear their underwear in the shower,
as this may be what they do in the orphanage because of group bathing. They also do not typically use
washcloths, so you may need to show them by charades or you will wonder why none are getting used.
Show kids (and chaperones) how to use the overhead showerhead; turn on/off water and regulate it.
They generally have hand held sprayers in their orphanages. Do not let them adjust the water until you
have taught them that the hot water is HOT. Show them how to turn it on and off, hotter and colder,
and drain the tub. The homes where some of the host kids lived prior to moving to the orphanage did
not have running water a year ago- much less heated water from a tap. In one area, there is a village
well that everyone uses and most have no form of electricity.
Also uncommon is flushing toilet paper down the toilet. You may need to explain that toilet paper goes
into the toilet; otherwise, you may find it in the bathroom trash can. Also, explain that NOTHING else
goes down the toilet. Thankfully, at least one of the orphanages where our host children live have
modern bathrooms and toilets. But in general, others don’t even have toilet bowls, but instead have
“squatty pottys” (which are basically holes in the floor. So, as frustrated as some of you are going to
be, putting a toilet seat up/down will not come readily and that habit probably will not change inside
of 4-5 weeks. Many a frustrated host parent has written in asking why the children can’t just “put the
seat up.” Certainly, teach them and remind them, but you can’t expect this to be done 100% of the
time.
Do NOT teach or allow the children to shave, dye their hair or pierce anything. These may seem
harmless, but you won’t believe what we have seen in past hosting programs. Trying to match your
hosted child’s hair color to your own is NOT ALLOWED! Haircuts are fine, as long as they’re not wild.
NO EAR PIERCING. (You may allow older boys and girls who are accustomed to shaving, to shave if it is
something they typically do on their own.)
Girls may undergo some physical changes while they’re here. With good nourishment and vitamins,
some girls may “blossom” or begin their periods. They probably don’t have any such products with
them, so it is a good idea to keep some handy. Do not offer them to use any products other than pads.
The thin Always brand has been a good choice in the past. They probably won’t ask, so show older girls
where the items are stored and make sure “dad” is a part of this discussion. He may be the one around
if the time comes. Explain where to put the used pads, should this occur. Be prepared for cramps and
offer Midol or Advil, unless you’ve been told of an allergy.
Again, as mentioned in the clothing section, watch your dirty laundry for the host child’s clothing and
underwear. It may not show up and you need to go look for it. Where they are from, most kids wash
their clothes and underwear in the sink and hang it to dry.
Time Difference
Some children have a tough time getting their internal clocks adjusted after they arrive. At some times
of the year, the Eastern Time Zone is 12 hours behind China, and when we’re on Daylight Savings Time,
it’s 13! So, midnight is noon, and vice versa. Expect a huge jetlag and recovery from this time
difference can be over a week! (Note- all of China is on Beijing time and is one time zone.) One
suggestion is to put a clock in their room and gradually allow them to wake you up later and later. At
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the beginning, some may wake as early as 4am. Understand this unique challenge and allow them to
wake you at 5 am, then 5:30, then 6 am until after a few days they know to be quiet until 7am, for
instance. They may need the clock for an objective goal. Show them they can play in their room if they
wake up earlier, but have to be quiet until 7 am. Write down the goal time for them at night before
bed. After a week or so, they will naturally wake up later.
Pornography
Pornography is not as widespread in China as it is in Eastern Europe. With the very conservative culture
in general, thankfully, it is probably not something adults in the orphanage would ever allow. When
you are walking through European airports, you have to practically hold your head down or you’ll just
be bombarded with images that you would not normally desire to see. We’ve not seen this in China at
all. Recently, an Eastern European adoptive host parent was given a pack of school books from the
orphanage to bring home with their adopted child. Upon glancing through the books, which are
provided by the school, there was basically a centerfold as an advertisement in a 6 th grad child’s
journal. They don’t have a lot of free time in the orphanage due to their school schedules. When they
have holidays, many go to the villages to visit with extended family members. They have no electricity
and no doors or windows on most of their village homes… so they wouldn’t be able to watch TV there
either. Many things we see and have available to us in the US are simply banned in China so no one
even has access. Again, it is not our place during the hosting program to change a child’s life by
showing them the many things they have missed on TV, the internet etc. Don’t judge, just realize this is
a major cultural difference. Appreciate their “back to basics” mentality.
In order to protect host children from accessing inappropriate content while in your home, we suggest
you have a block on your home computer if you plan to allow the hosted child internet usage. Safe
Eyes and Cyber Sitter are just two examples of computer programs designed to block inappropriate
content. When allowed to select what sites to block, block sites ending in “.cn” which will eliminate
these programs from missing inappropriate content because of language differences. Do this prior to
their arrival and it should eliminate the issue altogether. A program called “QQ” is the China version of
Skype and children should not be allowed to download or use QQ to contact anyone in China while on
the hosting program. They also have a Chinese version of Facebook but most of the children we bring
won’t know about it. It is highly monitored by the government and not private.
We are not sure of the types of movies that are seen and available to the children. Kung Fu and karate
movies as are very popular well as Asian movies that we might never see or realize are even made.
Again, don’t judge them based on the choice or mention of a certain movie. Recently, an EE host
parent was livid that a host child asked to watch “American Pie.” Yes, its content is inappropriate, but
remember that they don’t necessarily realize that morally it’s not a good movie AND perhaps the child
thinks it’s a popular American movie simply based on the title. It’s OK and recommended to say no if
you feel the content is inappropriate, whether they’ve see it before or not. This will apply to video
game ratings as well.
Internet Usage and Telephone calls
A STRONG limit on computer time that is fully supervised is NECESSARY from the beginning. As
mentioned in the previous section, if you will block “.cn” sites, this will not be an issue. We’ve seen
more harm than good come from the children accessing social networking sites and email while they
are here. We do NOT allow this type of internet use and communication. One reason is to protect them
from others back home who can influence a child negatively, even if just through email, which will then
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affect your visit with the child. A second reason is because if the child is having a bad day in your home
and is facing discipline, you have no idea how a child’s “venting” will be interpreted back home by
other children, who certainly will discuss the internet conversations with social workers and others
associated with the orphanage. We have had orphanages contact our country representatives based
on information heard by them regarding children while here on the program that we then had to
investigate, explain and do damage control. Again, if you will block “.cn” sites, this will not be an issue.
We can’t stress enough how supervising and limiting internet usage or blocking international sites will
SAVE you from potential stress and difficulties, later.
General Calls home ARE NOT ALLOWED. They may ask, just let them know it’s a RULE of the program
and do not be the one to break the rule. The children are able to talk with one another and chaperones
and it never fails that at least one host family doesn’t abide by this rule and of course, it always comes
back to us in a wave of calls from other host families on behalf of host children or chaperones speaking
on behalf of children who don’t understand why some children are being allowed to call back home
and others are not. Le Ann is willing to explain it with the aid of an interpreter and chaperone to a child
if you are not able to explain it to a host child’s satisfaction. We don’t mind being the bad guy in
situations that help you be the parent. During the first China hosting program, the children were
asked to check in with their orphanage director once after arrival. If this is required, we will send
instructions on how to do this.
On computers, some gaming sites are appropriate, things like skill games and hangman. Some might
even help them with English. For music, try mp3 sites like mp3ninja. They can put in key words and
play songs for free. Some may want to access YouTube, but you need to monitor that closely for
inappropriate content. Introduce Christian music in the car and at home. It will be wonderful when you
hear them sing along to a praise song, though they may not understand the words at first.
Finally, if there is a negative behavior, thank God it came to light so you can help the child. That’s our
job, to be the interim parents. Hope, Healing, Redemption and Restoration, that’s what we’re all
about!
Independence
The children have an enormous amount of independence in their home country. They generally walk
everywhere they need to go. On our trips, it’s not uncommon for us to see children 8-10 years old
walking down city streets with small groups of kids. This can manifest itself by them walking away
from you in public, another reason it’s very important for them to have their nametags on at all times.
It’s not appropriate in America. Let us know if you can’t get this explained to your host child. China is
actually considered to be one of the safest countries in the world as far as crimes against people. It is
considered safe for a woman to walk alone at night. The reason for this is that there are stiff, quick and
huge prison penalties for someone who steals a purse, mugs someone, or steals something. Crime is
basically non-existent and gangs are seen as “groups who are gathering” so they are perceived as a
threat against the communist government and simply not allowed. Orphans are sometimes given free
bus and metro passes, however most of our host children come from rural areas where public
transportation is non-existent. The postal service delivers by bicycle and most people simply walk.
Testing of Boundaries and Natural Curiosity
Your host child may be curious about your home to the point that he/she will rummage through
drawers and cupboards. This is not abnormal, just part of the child's personality. If you find the routine
offensive, direct the child with an organized activity. Crafting, playing outside, watching TV and
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journaling are all acceptable ways to distract. If you do not care that he/she opens drawers and pulls
EVERYTHING out of the drawer while looking, smelling and touching the contents, you may just be
content watching them explore and learn. In the end, your junk drawer may also end up very
organized.
From a safety standpoint, you can’t assume the children have been trained to stay away from some of
the basic things you have taught your children to avoid. For instance, chemicals should be put away in
safe locations, certainly because they cannot read the labels and a large plastic bottle of windshield
wiper fluid looks like blue juice. Also, power tools that are in areas accessible by the children should be
especially considered. Look at your house as if a 2 year old were coming over. In order to control
impulsive behavior, for example, in seeing a craft cabinet, put a sign saying “please ask” in their
language. You might escort your host child around the entire house and show them what’s in closets
and drawers, letting them know what they can have access to.
If your children have some “precious” toys that they do not want others touching or playing with,
consider storing them prior to the host child’s arrival.
Consider operating on a stricter or “known and established” routine for at least the first week and
phase in less structured time. If your host kids do not need a strict schedule, this will not hurt or offend
them. If, however, you have a host child who needs structure, you will save yourself a lot of energy
than trying to “re-do” week one once you realize that. Here is an example of a daily schedule:
 wake up
 breakfast
 clean-up self and house
 engage the mind academically - English, educational board games
 busy body activities - biking, swimming
 mid-day meal
 busy body activities
 healthy snack
 down-time activity - TV, movie, journal, nap
 evening meal
 family clean-up house or yard
 fun family activity
 English
 prepare for bed
Suggested Reading
These are books that we think are extremely helpful to host and adoptive parents. Many of your local
libraries will have these books for no charge. We strongly encourage taking time to read on
institutionalized children mostly because it will help you set reasonable expectations regarding the
children and their behaviors and responses that will not necessarily be like those of your children.
Additionally, many of these books have great ideas to facilitate bonding with a host child.
Some of the following titles are on our “Read to Succeed” list. These select books have been chosen as
some of the most helpful and insightful resources our host families have read in past programs. Host
families who read any or all of these books may take a quiz to show their knowledge they have gained
from the reading.
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Parenting the Hurt Child, Gregory C. Keck, PhD
Brothers and Sisters in Adoption, Arleta James
The Connected Child, Karyn Purvis
Adopting the Older Child, Claudia Jewett
Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew, Sherrie Eldridge
Attaching in Adoption, Deborah Gray
The Five Love Languages of Children, Gary Chapman
Living in a Step-Family without Getting Stepped-On, Kevin Leman (This book can teach parents
how to help the family when adding other children to the home, easily applicable to a hosting
experience.)
Nurturing Adoption, Deborah Gray
Fields of The Fatherless, Tom Davis
When Helping Hurts, Fikkert & Borbett
Adopted For Life, Russell D Moore
Adoption Parenting, MacLeod & Macrae
Becoming A Family, Eshleman
Can This Child Be Saved, Helding & Cline
Raising Adopted Children, Lois Ruskai Melina
Birthmarks: Transracial adoption on Contemporary America, Sandra Patton
Dim Sum, Bagels and Grits: A Sourcebook for Multicultural Families, Maya Alperson
Voices from Another Place, edited by Susan-Soon Keum Cox
Inside Transracial Adoption, Gail Steinberg & Beth Hall
A Race is a Nice Thing to Have: A Guide to Being a White Person or Understanding the White
Person in Your Life, Janet E. Helms
Transracial Adoption & Foster Care, Joseph Crumbley
When You Were Born in China (or Korea or Vietnam), Yeong and Yeong publishers
Learning How to “Play”
Many host kids are extremely helpful, they always want to be vacuuming, dusting, mopping, folding
laundry or cleaning dishes. Sometimes you have to chase them out of the kitchen or laundry room so
they will play, which they have no idea how to do. For some, there is a definite lack of creativity and
imagination in thinking and in play time.
Dr. Karyn Purvis, bonding and attachment expert, explains the value of play: “Play is shared joy and a
great vehicle for active learning. Playfulness signals safety, making it especially healing for children
with special needs. Use playfulness and positive feedback whenever possible throughout the day…You
know healing has begun at that sweet moment when you and your child look into each other’s eyes
and smile with sheer delight.”
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GIFTS
Commit to NOT spoiling the children with excessive money or gifts. Keep It Simple. Based on American
movies or simply what they “hear” regarding Americans, some children will already think all Americans
are rich. We do not want to reinforce this idea or present that “family” is the way to get “things.” It is
crucial that host families understand this. This is important to the future of our program and the future
for each child being adopted later. This is not to be taken lightly. You will be tempted to buy everything
you can. Overindulging harms the children’s perception of family, America and Christianity. Plus,
everything will not fit in their suitcase as they prepare to return to their country so you may be setting
them up to be deeply disappointed later when most of their acquired things cannot be taken back with
them. We can’t buy love, and we shouldn’t try. Try not to go to too many stores. Wal-Mart and Target
have everything these kids need. If you go to many stores, many days a week, the children will be
overwhelmed and will soon develop a greedy attitude.
You are leading by “example” in most cases because of the initial language barriers. Teach the child
about being selective and reasonable about making purchases. Many times, the kids don’t have
choices to make from several different brands, as we do. Take your camera to the grocery story on
your first trip with your host child!
Acceptable Gifts
If you shower a child with numerous things they cannot take home, it will be devastating to them.
Especially with winter hosting, or a hosting when you celebrate a birthday of the host child, we
strongly encourage you to gear your gift purchases towards useful things they should take home with
them anyway, as well as small items that can be easily packed later. It takes a little creativity, as this is
not how you buy for your other children. Use the following list as a starting point for acceptable
presents for you and for others.
1. Disposable Cameras so they can take pictures, get them developed and allow them to select
what goes into their photo album. No digital cameras are allowed to go back with them.
2. Photo Album or Scrapbook for pictures they take here. PLEASE send a photo album home with
them, no frames with breakable glass.
3. Journal, small notepads and fun, cool pens, pencils & markers. They don't get really neat pens
like our children are used to seeing and using.
4. Bible: WE ARE NOT ALLOWED TO SEND BIBLES HOME WITH THE CHINA HOST CHILDREN
5. SMALL, light manipulative toys, not battery operated. Yo-yo's, toy cars, small balls, action
figures or small dolls. Remember, they have very little room to take things home.
6. Music, CD or Cheap Off-brand MP3. Girls 12-13 and under will like Taylor Swift or other preteen
pop stars. Older girls maybe steer to something clean, Group One Crew, Britt Nicole or a clean
pop or Christian group. Boys, just something clean. CD's can be taken back to the orphanage
and played for everyone. They have CD players in their group areas.
7. Winter items to take back to China, waterproof gloves, hats, scarves.
8. Sunglasses. Every kid loves to have their own pair!
9. Jewelry. Doesn't have to be fancy, just $5 stuff is fine. All age boys and girls love this! (No cross
necklaces or other “religious” symbols.) Of course, who can ignore silly bands, host kids
probably haven’t seen them.
10. Bag of different types of candies. Most everything will be new to them and ALL kids like candy.
Get a variety, chocolate (new and a favorite for past Chinese host kids!) and non-chocolate;
think Nerds, Gummy Bears & Jelly Belly's. Virtually all of our candy will be new to them.
(Recently, a child got Pop Rocks and proceeded to place it in hot water, thinking it was tea!)
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11. Tickets for an event they can attend with you while here on hosting: a play, pottery studio,
basketball game, hockey game, zoo, aquarium, i-Max, movies and ice skating passes.
12. Craft Items from Michael's. Girls like the paint by number and virtually anything they can do
without having to read ENGLISH directions. Boys like model cars and foil scraping kits (alongside
the paint by number) and all like plastic sun catcher kits and virtually anything they have at
Michael's or Hobby Lobby. Plus, it's quality time with the family.
13. Board Games they can play with their HOST family or small travel board games in case they are
traveling with the family while they are here. Jenga is fun, no English needed. It's the block
stacking game that can be found on the game aisle. Playing cards are always a good bet, UNO
cards, Skip-bo or other playing card games.
14. Boys love to get wallets and so do girls. As a special request, see if you can find boy wallets that
have a zipper compartment for change. It's harder, but they can be found. The boys will
typically have change back home, which is easily lost in pockets.
15. Watch. Usually a digital face one, nothing fancy, just a simple one that's under $10/$20.
16. Wall calendar they can use here, then take back. Older boys will love cars, girls will love
anything girly.
17. Photo keychains where you can load the child’s favorite photos onto a small keychain/mp3 with
a small screen.
18. Thin/lightweight character blanket, like animals, Spiderman, Spongebob, Transformers.
19. Slippers/House shoes. Shoes aren't worn inside and no bare feet running around, it's why their
socks take a beating! New ones to take home would be great. Non slip socks are popular.
20. Sewing, knitting or crochet supplies if the child shows interest or already knows how.
21. Hygiene items such as a new character toothbrush, new hairbrush/comb and basic makeup
items.
Gifts NOT Allowed
We have no control over what happens to the clothes and toys once they go back to the orphanage.
Things may be divided out and given away to others who did not come, sold (yes, we’ve also had some
young entrepreneurs return and sell things), stolen, shared, broken or lost.
We are NOT ALLOWED to send a Bible home with our Chinese host children. Please do not attempt to
send one as we can get in a lot of trouble. Plus, your child will most likely not be allowed to keep it.
However, the Wildlife Storyteller Stuffed Animals ARE allowed and they come with a solar rechargeable
MP3 loaded with children’s animated Bible stories in Mandarin! Contact NHFC office on how to order
one!
No gifts depicting ANY sort of religious references. No jewelry, clothes, etc., with crosses, words about
God and Jesus, or scriptural references or symbols. If in doubt- ask.
Most electronics are NOT ALLOWED to return with children. Batteries are not readily available. Our
electrical plugs are not the same as in China, so plugs to recharge items will not work there. No Brand
Name Items; no iPods, no gaming devices, no matter the age of the unit… NO BRAND NAMES! It will set
your child up as a target in their orphanage, so don’t do it. They’ve had discipline problems in some
orphanages because of electronics brought back by the hosted children. The more “TOYS” your child
returns with, the bigger a target you place on them for other kids to come after! Under no
circumstances send any expensive items such as camcorders, tablets, digital cameras, cell phones,
boom boxes, name brand MP3’s, hand held games such as PSP, Nintendo DS, laptop computers,
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expensive watches or jewelry. Even inexpensive older versions of these items and cell phones are not
allowed. Again, they aren’t going to have a way to charge them anyway. If you are in doubt, contact us.
If you allow your host children to play with handheld games here, such as Nintendo DS and PSP, they
must understand from the beginning that they stay here when the children return home. Pick your
battles in advance and make educated decisions early on. Be aware this is always a huge problem and
you should not be the one to try and skip this rule. If you choose to adopt your hosted child, then when
they are home and have your last name, you can do whatever you want with electronic games and
toys.
When a child returns to the orphanage, their items are inventoried. The orphanages will not hesitate to
contact us after your child returns regarding inappropriate gifts. We have to do damage control after
virtually every program because of the ones who choose to disobey this written rule. Please follow our
rules and do not be the family who breaks them. We also advise airport security to let us know if any of
these items are in carry-on luggage. It will be removed and not given to the child. This recently
happened at the Atlanta airport with a handheld game system which caused a meltdown and ruined
the child’s attitude all the way home. Chaperones on the program will be advised that children cannot
have certain things, so if you need reinforcement, use it.
Do not send RAP music by non-Christian groups home with the kids or load it onto MP3’s. Be mindful
of lyrics. If you aren’t sure about an artist or group, Google the lyrics of the song, ask a parent of teens
or ask another teen. Host kids may ask for certain groups to be uploaded to their MP3, but just
because they ask, doesn’t mean you need to do it without first checking the lyrics of the songs. They
may not have a clue about the words, but they don’t need to hear it. This has become a ministry of
LeAnn’s during recent interview trips, to explain about “gangster rap” and the words. Many a child has
turned red in the face when her translations were made clear to them about the intent, meaning and
lifestyles of these horrible role models. They do have CD players for their groups in most orphanages,
so sending appropriate favorite music is ok. Consider introducing your child to contemporary Christian
music. Christian stores (and similar) have headphones to preview music before purchasing. Ask about
Christian RAP and allow your child to consider that. In Europe, “free music” online is very prevalent.
Generally, you can expect viruses, spyware and other trouble to end up on your computer if these
websites are accessed. Again, pre-block .cn websites. It alleviates arguments, misunderstandings and
computer viruses later!
Our DVD’s will work in China, so feel free to send some age appropriate movies back with the kids.
They’ll use them to work on their English.
Materialism and Lack of Gratitude
Materialism and “getting rich” is the driving force behind many things that are done in China. The
“hunger” for things is a natural result of years of oppression. Some ways it can manifest itself is if a
child asks for a brand name item, especially boys in regards to Nike or Adidas, for instance. They are
simply hearing the same advertising as our children. Just because they ask, doesn’t mean you need to
oblige. We encourage you: do not feed the materialism monster. Don’t be offended when they ask or
show preference for name brands. In China there is a huge market of knock-offs in regards to name
brand items. Last program, the kid arrived wearing Nike jackets, and Reebok shoes, which were good
copies donated by a local business for the kids to travel to the USA wearing! Additionally, it is common
to discuss what people make for their salary. So, having a child focused on money and things is a
cultural issue and not something we can change in 5 weeks. However we can be aware of it and not
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label a child as ungrateful or greedy. Clothing quality and brand name is usually very important in their
country and try to remember that they usually only have access to 1 outfit at a time. It’s not
uncommon for an orphanage child to be issued one outfit for the entire week.
With gift giving, whether Chinese New Year or a Summer Birthday Party, the children are usually
overwhelmed and therefore, their reactions may not be exactly what the family will expect to see. The
child will absolutely LOVE the items you give them, but reacting in the way typical of our children might
not happen. They also tend to be VERY reserved in their emotions until they know you better. There
can be a myriad of reasons they may contain their reaction so don't be offended. There's so much
going on inside these special children but they can be reserved in showing those emotions. They feel
inside the same excitement and joy our kids feel, but knowing how to express that or feeling the
freedom inside to express it is an entirely different matter for them. It is common for Chinese children
to try and give gifts given to them to others as well. You might have a child who is embarrassed to
accept gifts and wants to give them back to you. Please don’t be offended and realize, it is again, a
cultural difference.
If a child is not saying thank you or showing gratitude, you can see this two different ways. One is
negatively with an attitude that the child is terribly ungrateful. Or, realistically, that the child has never
been given much to be thankful for and they’ve never been taught HOW to be grateful or HOW to
show gratitude. They are not used to being given gifts, so some honestly don't know how to show
gratitude. We all learned gratitude from our parents. They haven't been given much to be thankful for
and they haven't been taught the act of showing gratitude. For an orphan, expressing appreciation and
gratitude can take years. So, absolutely teach gratitude, but know that it might not come as readily as
you would think. We can model this for them by teaching them. Buy thank you cards and have your
host child write, "Thank you for the ..." and sign his or her name. When in doubt, don’t judge. Consider
behavior in the context of their culture.
If you feel your host child has any tendency towards materialism out of the sheer abundance they are
surrounded by, remember that is completely in YOUR control as the host parent. The power of NO is
yours. A teen girl certainly might ask for new boots if she sees them as you are walking through a
department store. If that’s not in your budget, all you have to do is say no. We do not under any
circumstances want our host families to feed into the lie that we are all rich Americans who are just
about things and stuff. The power is OURS to maintain the focus on Christ. We are each responsible for
what's placed in a child’s suitcase.
Special Note About Cell Phones
Many orphaned children have cell phones. They are cheap, cheap, cheap and widely available in China
at local flea market type shops. Don’t assume that because an orphan has a cell phone, they can’t be
too bad off in their country. Minutes for phones are sold in every gas station, convenience store and
corner market for pennies on the dollar. The Chinese do not have cell phone plans; it is not like here at
all. If your child comes with a cell phone or mentions having a cell phone, realize that is not uncommon
as they are literally everywhere. However, if a child asks you to buy them a cell phone here in America
to take back with them, do not. If the child wants to purchase a cell phone or electronic item (like a
camera) for someone back in their home country, do not allow such. It is easy to buy them whatever
they ask for, but we ask you to please refrain from this. Even if the cell phone is an old cell phone that
you aren’t using, do not do it. Again, they will have no way to charge it, and chances are that with the
different frequencies we use here in the US, it wouldn’t work even if they COULD charge it. We realize
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some of you simply do not understand our reasoning, but remember that we know what can make a
child a target upon returning to the orphanage, regardless of your best intent and thought. Please
abide by the rules we have set before you.
INTERACTION WITH THE CHILDREN
Hosting Program Activities
The most valuable time for the hosted children will be family time. Spend as much time together as
possible as a family. Bible Lessons, English lessons, prayer, cooking, hygiene instructions, board games,
sitting down together for family meals, etc. Show love and commitment. This may be the child’s only
chance to experience family life. NOTE: Eating out is a luxury and oddity for families in rural China. Try
to limit waste when possible and eating fast foods every day. This concept is not popular there and can
offend them easily. The chaperones constantly make comments about us feeding our children
unhealthy fast foods. Some children will have never been to a restaurant, others would go there very
infrequently, perhaps once a year.
The kids will love all the typical things kids love—riding bikes, swimming, sports, skating, etc. Most of
the older children have been able to swim with no problem. In the winter, try to locate an indoor pool
at least once and be prepared to have a swimming suit for your child. The local YMCA will probably give
you a one week pass if you are not a member. We’ve had several children who liked to go running or
jogging with the host parent and walk the family pets. Tennis and basketball were also popular. For
Christmas hosting, going to look at Christmas lights and helping decorate has been very popular. If your
family can wait, try and get your Christmas tree and decorate it with your host child after their arrival.
Decorating homes and yards is virtually unheard of so outdoor decorations with lights is a thrill and
new experience for them. Many of the hosted children are very artistic and enjoy crafts, perhaps make
some home-made ornaments. One family took their host child, as well as a chaperone, to a potterypainting studio. We’re not sure who enjoyed it more! Other suggested family outings including church
events, parks, museums, theatre, sports, swimming, picnics, visit relatives, family vacation, free
concerts, free movies, etc. Consider activities that aren’t all about “entertainment”. Look into fun
learning activities, make exercise a game, and cultural activities an adventure!
Also, realize that if you are on the go during the hosting program, though that isn’t the “normal” pace
of your life, you may be setting your host child up for disappointment on a subsequent hosting or in
the case that you adopt. While you certainly want to do some special things and have new experiences,
resist the temptation to entertain the children daily versus spending time at home using imagination,
creativity and down-time.
Language
Emphasize the importance of learning English by daily reviewing English words with flash cards or postits. This is a very important aspect of our China host program and we expect parents to do this as much
as possible with children of school age. Explore online websites prior to your host child’s arrival. These
sites provide both phonetic translations as well we recorded voice to help with pronunciation. Some
suggestions are: (but keep in mind new ones come online all the time and many are free!)
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http://stars21.com/translator/
www.imtranslator.com
http://www.lingvosoft.com/free-online-dictionaries/
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
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http://www.trident.com.ua/eng/online.php
http://translate.google.com/
Google translate, http://translate.google.com/, is great. You can type in short phrases and not only see
the translation, but also hear the translation.
Don’t forget to check for translation APPS on your phone and tablets too! There are new ones all the
time and there is little to no cost on many of the APPS!
Discipline
Be patient with the children. They’ve most likely never experienced a stable family life. They haven’t
had a whole lot of constructive discipline, though the orphanage workers and chaperones do their
best. Most have probably been exposed to discipline which is physically and emotionally abusive. And,
for some, they have no idea about conflict resolution, certainly for some it involves hitting one other
and name calling.
Consistency is very important, as you don’t want to send mixed signals when it comes to something
being allowed or not. The kids will be nervous, confused, excited, maybe a little bit spoiled while
they’re here. Just like your children, eventually they will test you. They’ll test your boundaries, your
commitment and your love. To them, it’s too good to be true, so they TEST, TEST, TEST to make sure
they are not dreaming. You staying true to them and “passing their tests” may be the greatest gift
they’ve ever received. Stay strong. Stay consistent. Love unconditionally. Discipline with love and
understanding. No matter what happens during the day, tuck in the host child at night and say I love
you. Push yourself to MODEL a love and forgiveness they’ve never seen, even on your worst day. It
speaks VOLUMES to them.
Though it may sound silly, consider watching episodes of shows such as “Super Nanny.” While you have
discipline in your house down to a regular routine, it’s probably taken you a while to determine what
type of discipline works best with your children. Every child is different and simply changing the
technique of discipline you choose may yield more results. Just as every child has a particular love
language that speaks most effectively to them, every child has a form of discipline that also teaches the
lessons most effectively.
Examples of acceptable discipline:
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Time-out for smaller children.
Or, “time-in” when appropriate. The child is acting badly mostly due to fear or confusion. Time
with mom or dad may help the child feel secure. Have the child help with food preparation or
house cleaning or weeding the garden or sweeping the driveway. Some of this is not "pleasant"
therefore they get the punishment, but also one on one time with a host parent.
Removing a beloved item for the day or an appropriate time frame as the situation requires.
Examples are to remove video game or TV privileges.
Correct the behavior verbally first. Make certain the child understands the behavior is not
acceptable in your home. In any case, make sure the child understands what they did wrong.
They cannot change what they don’t recognize as a problem. If there is a repeat occurrence,
correct the behavior verbally and initiate a consequence. If there is a repeat occurrence, initiate
a more serious consequence and if you need backup support from a chaperone, contact them.
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If there is any act of aggression, no matter how small, respond swiftly and strongly, but don’t panic.
Unfortunately, hitting, biting and pulling hair can be common practices in the orphanage for dealing
with conflict. When we were children, our mothers worked those behaviors out of us early on. No one
is sitting with these children while they play with one another and correcting that behavior. You’ll find
that one of the number one challenges for our kids is resolving conflict appropriately. They’ve not
learned this much needed life skill. Have patience and understand the children need to be taught how
to verbalize their needs and problems versus responding physically or withdrawing.
The chaperones are very helpful and can usually take care of behavior issues. No matter what happens
during the day, unconditional love is vital with these “unique” kids. Challenge yourself to finish every
day by tucking the child into bed, praying, giving a hug and saying good night… even if the day has not
been a good one. Many times, we learn that some behavioral problems stem from the child not
understanding and not knowing what to do with a head full of feelings they don’t understand and can’t
communicate. Some kids adapt better to the language and culture than others. Just like when we
travel abroad, for some of us it’s easy to adapt. For others of us, it is the most stressful thing in our
lives.
There are typically one or two “non-traditional” or “surprise” children. These are children who are not
adapting well to the hosting environment or the change in venue of their life. It may show itself in
many different ways. They may have difficulty getting along with other family members, be overly
withdrawn, seemingly ungrateful and moody. In the beginning, it could be fear, jetlag, previous
warnings from ill-willed caregivers about Americans, or a combination of many things. Hopefully it
won’t be the child you’re hosting, but if it is, let us know. Finally, if a child is simply not working out in
your family and must be moved, we do have emergency and backup families available and can
coordinate this in the area in which you live. (SEE SECTION ON MOVING A HOST CHILD)
Ultimately, we won’t know your problems, unless you TELL us. THE ONLINE WEEKLY REPORTS are
crucial! Be honest in them please. Merely telling other family members and host families via phone or
Facebook will not FIX the problem. Our staff MUST know the situations that are causing problems. Our
host programs have been going since 2002, and we have lots of experience to share.
Physical Discipline
Under NO circumstance are you allowed to spank, slap, yank, pop, curse at, pull hair or ears of any
hosted child. You should also consider refraining from doing any of this to your biological children in
the presence of the hosted child since they may misunderstand this as physical abuse. Spanking a host
child will result in your local law enforcement office and Department of Children and Family Services
being contacted by us. Don’t jeopardize the program or a possible adoption by spanking a child.
Spanking a child who does not legally belong to you is illegal in China, Russia, China and most states
in the USA. It is TOTALLY illegal within the program of NHFC in ALL states. Do NOT risk international
prosecution! Don’t SPANK a host child!
Do not talk negatively about your hosted child to others in front of them or publicly via outlets such as
Facebook. We’ve all personally read some very mean and degrading things that host parents have said
publicly on Facebook about their host child in moments of frustration. It doesn’t matter what language
you think the host child speaks and understands, it’s just not nice or acceptable at all. Negative breeds
negative. Do a reality check on your feelings and reactions every once in a while and realize this is a
very unique child, with unique challenges who has had a past that probably none of us can even
imagine. Reactions will be different than any other child you’ve ever met in your life because they are
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from a different culture. Negative comments that make their way home to China will be related onesided and will be misconstrued towards the hosting program.
Day Care or Visits Outside the Host Family
Generally, hosted children have NOT done well in Day Care Center environments. They live in an
institution in their home land. Bringing them here to put them back into an “institution” is not a
positive experience for most children, especially when they don’t know whether you are coming back
and don’t trust that you will. Imagine for a moment how they ended up in an orphanage to begin with.
Plus, caregivers do not speak their language. Please consider using alternate methods for part-time
childcare if needed. Under no circumstances should any child be placed in a day care center for
extended periods of time.
We also understand you may need a break periodically or may experience illness. If another adult,
even if it’s the host grandparents, are responsible for your host child, they must be cleared with
background checks and child abuse clearances just as you were. Never leave a hosted child with other
children under 18 as caregivers. Licensed camp counselors, teachers and church youth leaders
generally already have background clearances, but it’s best to ask.
Alcohol and Parties
The lives of most these children have included abuse, neglect, extreme loss and many
disappointments. One key contributing factor in the life of an orphan is poverty, death of parent,
severe illness of parent and alcohol abuse by parents. Because we don’t know each child’s history,
coping skills and experience with alcohol, we ask for your personal commitment to abstain from any
kind or form of alcohol in front of the hosted child. This may include attending parties where alcohol
may be consumed, as you never know what kind of trigger this will have on the child and their
emotions from past trauma. We’ve seen many children doing wonderful in a hosting family, only to
“lose it” after seeing alcohol in the household, witnessing others drinking and/or the hosting family
also participating. This is quite serious. This is not a religious preference or personal request, but one
using common sense by forcing memories best left alone. We have seen it happen; you do NOT want
to be the cause of it. We ask that you please remove all alcohol from your home, unless it is a wine
cellar and then lock it off and do not expose the child to this collection. Remove any empty bottles of
wine or other liquors and beer to someone else’s home, to retrieve later. You may read this and think
we are over-reacting. However, PLEASE understand, that is not the case. Certainly some restaurants
have bars, steer clear of sitting in or near those areas. Look at things that might appear to be alcohol
and remove them as well. We had a real incident in a recent program with a family who had a small
fridge in their garage with all natural “root beer” and “ginger ale” inside. Their hosted kids found these
and shut down. The next thing we knew, they talked to their chaperone and explained their host family
was secretly alcoholics! So, please smile at this example but realize it took a lot of investigation and
hurt feelings to get to the bottom of this situation. Another situation, with the same host family was
with a bottle of vitamin type juices that looked like wine and that just reinforced that the family must
be alcoholics. The moral of the story is to be extra cautious and try and see thing through eyes that
may not speak English or understand American culture.
Here are a couple of actual examples from past hostings: A host mom had a few bottles, WITHOUT any
liquid even in them, in a glass cabinet in a bedroom where the hosted teen son was staying. The host
mom had actually forgotten about them. One day the host mom took her teen host son to visit her
sister and nephew in another neighborhood. Her nephew took the teen host son to visit some friends
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who happened to be from China! Sound fine and normal? Well, she thought so as well. However, later
when she went to pick up her teen host son from her sister’s home, she was advised that the neighbors
had basically kidnapped him and left the subdivision after hearing that he was being hosted in a home
with alcohol in his bedroom! It took us 48 hours and an off duty police officer, who happened to be a
past host father, to get the boy back from these well-meaning neighbors! They thought they were
saving him from a horrible family, since he explained about the bottles in the cabinet in his bedroom.
He didn’t realize they were empty.
Once after LeAnn adopted their 13 year old son (at the time) Taylor, they were all invited to a Russian
family’s home for a traditional Russian dinner together. While at the table, Taylor was eating and
enjoying himself and sharing with the family about his life. With dessert, wine was brought out and
placed on the table to share. Instantly, Taylor became sullen, got physically ill and had to leave the
table. He refused to talk, eat or even explain why the sudden change in his personality. Later, after
many hours of talking and tears, it was realized that his father was murdered after drinking a glass of
wine with dinner. It triggered a memory of the last time he saw his biological dad alive. It’s not worth
the risk to have a glass of wine or drink over the 4-5 weeks of the hosting program. Please understand
and accept this request. If friends or neighbors question you, blame the program. We don’t mind.
Presence of the Host Father
Do not mistake the power of the host father’s interaction and how that will affect all host children,
male and female. Most of the children are used to female caregivers and the presence of a strong male
figure in their life just isn’t there. The host father has a very important role, sometimes more important
than the host mother. The host father should lead by example on how a father and husband is
supposed to act within a Christian family. If it is possible, we recommend the host father stay home the
first few days to help set the tone of the household and to show a unified front.
Dad, don’t be afraid to HUG your host child. Physical touch, as simple as a hug, facilitates bonding. Dad,
HUG your wives in the presence of your host kids. MODEL respect and love for the mother of the
household. You are a powerful role model during these weeks of hosting; you are single-handedly
revolutionizing the role model of a husband and father for a hosted child. You are so appreciated for
your role in this hosting!
SPIRITUAL INFLUENCE
Attending Church Events & Teaching Prayer
It is highly encouraged and expected that you attend church with your child while the children are
here. However, you must attend a mainstream Christian denomination or Christian nondenominational church. You are obligated as Christians, and as a part of this ministry to expose your
hosted children to God’s Word, prayer and church events. You do not have to be in the front pew every
time the doors are open, but we do ask you to include your Christian beliefs and share them with your
child. If you don’t have a regular church, start looking for one now. Consider attending Vacation Bible
School (VBS) or Christian camps in summer and Christian Christmas activities in winter. We have had
children learn Christmas and VBS songs and participate in Christmas and VBS programs. This is great, so
please encourage it if the opportunity arises. Give the children the opportunity to learn about God and
have simple Bible lessons. Easy to read Bible storybooks in various translations can be helpful.
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NOTE: WE CANNOT FORCE OUR CHINESE HOST CHILDREN TO GO TO CHURCH WITH US. IN THE
UNANTICIPATED SITUATION THAT YOUR CHILD REFUSES TO GO, YOU NEED TO HONOR THAT CHOICE
AND HAVE ONE PARENT STAY HOME WITH THE CHILD WHILE THE REST OF YOUR FAMILY ATTENDS
CHURCH OR CHURCH ACTIVITIES. WE DO NOT ANTICIPATE THIS OCCURRING, BUT WE HAD TO
PROMISE THE GOVERNING OFFICIALS THAT THE CHINESE HOST CHILDREN WOULD BE GIVEN THE
CHOICE.
Devotion time is a great way to bond with the children and to teach them the basics about the Bible
and God. Even if prayer is not something you normally do at home now, we kindly ask that you lead by
example for the children and incorporate this at meals and at bedtime. They (and we) have a lot to be
thankful for and prayer reminds them of this. Prayers and “tucking into bed” are a key time for you and
your host child. Later, when we ask kids their favorite part of the program, the tucking into bed and
prayer time is constantly listed as a favorite. None of them EVER get this in an orphanage.
Consider doing a “prayer circle” with your family and your child. Everyone holds hands and one person
starts by thanking God for something. That person then squeezes the hand of the next person and they
thank God for something, and so on. This is an easy, fun way to get prayer started. Remember, this is
not the time for a monolog, but a time to show how simple a personal relationship with God can be.
Prayer Partners
Commit to finding at least 10 prayer partners. Refer to the requested prayer partner section of the
application. Submit those names and email addresses to us. It’s possible we will email updates and
prayer requests. Prayer partners are an integral part of this program just like any other mission trip.
Send your prayer warriors updates about your mission… your hosted child. Call on them in times of
need throughout the program!
Salvation
We have had children accept question and accept salvation during hosting programs and ask to be
baptized. While this is awesome, it would not be understood in the Asian Orthodox community, nor in
their community when they return home. So, if the question comes up about baptism, explain its
meaning and then see where it goes. If it goes further, let NHFC know and we will talk with you about
it.
Evangelism
Bibles are available in Mandarin Chinese. For younger children consider the comic book version. You
can purchase a Bible for use while the child is with you, but you cannot send it back to China with them
due to the Communist government. If you want to purchase other materials, realize that some China
children speak other dialects and may not understand Mandarin. However, most school age Chinese
children do read and understand Simplified Chinese/Mandarin. Also, consider pictorial visual aids such
as the “Evangecube” to share the story of Christ without needing printed or translated materials. Here
are some other resources:
No Greater Joy: http://www.nogreaterjoy.org/good-and-evil/
This is a great “comic book” style bible available in both English and Chinese.
Multi-Language Media: http://www.multilanguage.com/
LOTS of wonderful Christian materials!
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International Bible Society: http://www.ibsdirect.com/
Have Chinese New Testament Bibles.
Ethnic Harvest: http://www.ethnicharvest.org/bibles/index.htm
Offers help on finding bibles in any language; most leads are to other sites.
The Jesus Film Project: http://www.jesusfilmstore.com/
They have Mandarin/Chinese materials. The Story of Jesus for Children is EXCELLENT!
Other Sources: Amazon.com, EBAY, Barnes and Noble
“We are not the healers, we are not the reconcilers;
we are sinful, broken and vulnerable people
who need as much care as anyone we care for.
The mystery of ministry is that we have been chosen
to make our limited and very conditional love
the gateway for the unlimited and unconditional love of God.”
-Henri Nouwen
AIRPORT ARRIVAL
Checklist (What to Bring):
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Camera or Video Camera
Welcome poster / gifts / balloons / flowers
Car sick bag for the ride home (Gallon-size Ziploc or plastic coffee container with a lid will do
will do)
Snack and drink
Flight information
Cell phone. Is it turned on? Do we have your correct cell phone number?
Wear something patriotic, dress in Red, White and Blue or wear the NHFC Program Shirt
Do NOT attempt to get a gate pass. Chaperones must maintain control of the children until all
the families meet them at one time.
The children will have traveled upwards of 24-hours by the time they arrive! Some children also travel
by car/bus/train just to get to the airport ahead of 24-hours of air travel. Be prepared for tired, possibly
moody, cranky, thrilled, scared, crying, stoic, shy or motion sick kids and realize they may simply be
exhausted from the physical and emotional strain. The very young ones often have “melt downs” when
it comes time to separate from chaperones. Be prepared for the possibility of crying and fear levels to
be high. We never know. Not only will the children be sleepy, they’ll be more nervous than you are.
Expect them to be quiet their first day/night. They probably won’t make much conversation on the ride
home. Don’t be alarmed. The quiet won’t last long. Little ones NEED CAR SEATS/BOOSTERS under age
9. These kids are much smaller than ours! If under 100 pounds, they cannot ride in the front seat of a
car.
Remember that you have had months to prepare for them AND you selected the child you are hosting.
They probably only learned about coming no more than a week or so prior to arrival, will receive your
letter and photos at the airport and they did NOT pick your family. So, be understanding of moods and
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odd behavior in the first few days of acclimation. Imagine sending a child of yours, of this age, to
another country, and not going with them, and then they are asked to depart the airport with total
strangers who are ecstatic to see them, but don’t speak their language? Have some patience and do
your best to care and show care until they get to know you just a little bit. Note that your children may
do very well when we adults seem to lack in creative ideas!
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Gift Cards for Chaperones
In past programs, we have asked host families to give a nice thank you card with a gift card for easily
accessible stores such as Wal-Mart and Target, along with a photo of their family. This is done based
upon the gift-giving culture in their countries, combined with the fact they typically have little money
to spend on themselves or others back home. However, for this program, NHFC will give each
chaperone a Thank You card with gift card. Your hosting fees have covered this purchase. However, on
your chaperone day, please remember to bring a token of hospitality to give the chaperone. You are
encouraged to bring flowers or something small to them. In that case, gift cards are also acceptable.
Airport Courtesy (Arrival and Departure)
With increased security, we will not be able to block hallways or walkways at the airport. Airport
officials do not appreciate large groups gathering inside. While we can’t change gathering there, we
can be as courteous as possible. Please obey the airport rules. Stay behind the lines in designated
waiting areas. If airport staff tells you to move or makes a request of you, please comply, they’re just
doing their jobs. If nothing else, remember that we’re a Christian organization and try to glorify Christ
in all you do.
Media
In Atlanta and other cites, we have had news media show up to meet the kids as they arrive. Try and
get your local media involved in your arrival city. Calls from NHFC to media are generally ignored, but
calls from local hosting families are generally observed and sometimes covered! Consider local
newspapers, magazines, and TV. Orphans sharing an “American Christmas” is a particularly popular
human interest story and very popular with media outlets during that season. One call and a follow up
letter to the Atlanta Journal Constitution before the Christmas 2005 program led to a full 3 page spread
with color photos on the FRONT page on a Sunday in April with 2 articles that followed up over the
summer months! Later, the reporter actually followed a particular host family to many events and then
went with our interview team to interview the orphanage director of the child whose story he covered,
which produced the final story! Our hosting program doubled that next program due to those articles!
Start sending announcements and making calls NOW. When a host family calls, it’s a human interest
story. When NHFC calls, it’s perceived as advertising. If you are met and asked questions by any media,
BE positive and BE prepared for negative questions. Turn lemons into lemonade! Smile, it’s your
moment on camera! Send us the links to any articles or news story you are involved in.
Sample e-mail to newspapers/tv/radio stations:
Looking for a special human interest story for the summer?
My family [Your Name] of [City, State] will have a Chinese orphan spend the summer with us, for
5 weeks –[ June ##th to August ##th]. This is a part of a group called New Horizons for Children
which will be bringing nearly 350 school aged Chinese and Eastern European orphans to spend
the summer with families across the country, [#] of these children will arrive at the [Name of
Airport] airport on [June ##th]. Please contact us if you would like more info about our story!
You cannot list the child’s orphanage name, number, their last name, or birthday in any articles or
online. DO NOT give this out. You jeopardize them being adopted by you or anyone else. Not everyone
who reads about our program likes it or agrees with it. Realize that what goes into the press is available
online, and the children’s country’s read these stories. You can refer to your child by their first name
and country. If your child has an English name, you can reference your child by that name since it’s not
a legal name.
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Refer reporters to NHFC if you feel uncomfortable or they press you for more info. NEVER present the
program as an Adoption program. This is a hosting program. Maintain this at all times, under all
conditions, even if you are planning to adopt…it’s a hosting program. Yes, people may fall in love and
later proceed with an adoption, but that’s not what we need to have in print or on the news.
Before you leave the airport
It will be very chaotic once the children arrive and meet up with their host families. It is imperative that
the following things happen BEFORE YOU LEAVE THE AIRPORT:
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Obtain your host child/children’s medical insurance card/papers if you don’t already have it.
They should already be wearing their nametags which are to be worn at all times when they are
outside your home! Do NOT forget the nametags! NHFC travel shirts are only required on
arrival/departure days.
Have your family’s photo taken by the local coordinator before leaving the airport! We must email these to our overseas coordinators to prove everyone arrived safely. DO NOT LEAVE THE
AIRPORT WITHOUT A FAMILY PHOTO! And, PLEASE, everyone have patience. All the other
families are just as ready to leave as you are.
Check to see if your child/children have any luggage. Sometimes they do, even if it’s empty, but
most will not. Your child may not even remember if they brought a bag or not. The best thing to
do is have a translator on hand ask the child if they brought something.
Make sure your child is NOT in possession of their passport as NHFC must retain these
throughout the program in a locked safe. If you see it, send it to our office in a trackable form of
shipping. Chaperones are not to keep the children’s passports and our regional coordinators are
to collect them and return to the NHFC office.
Heading to your Home
If you are traveling more than 4 additional hours to your home, consider departing to your home no
sooner than the following morning with your hosted child. Let us know if you need help locating local
accommodations.
Flight Information
Specific flight details to follow in the weeks ahead.
Designated Airport Meeting Areas
ONE designated representative in each city will arrange to meet the flight/escort the kids to a
designated area. Do not attempt to get a gate pass.
In Atlanta, meet outside the Atlanta Chop House Restaurant, which is on the 2nd floor of the Rotunda.
Once the group is on their way, NHFC will call one of their representatives to let everyone know when
they are approximately 5 minutes away. For other airports, specific group details will be included with
flight information and distributed by regional coordinators.
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AIRPORT DEPARTURE
Preparation
Start packing the child’s suitcase a couple of days before their departure date. This will be another way
to help them prepare for leaving. Write a surprise note and send a surprise photo and sneak it in their
carry-on backpack at the last minute. This will give the children comfort as they travel away and
remind them that they are loved. Do not allow your child to pack alone. Even the best-behaved
children are tempted by all the things we have, and they might decide to slide in a few extra things
without permission that you don’t intend for them to take at the last minute. Explain that everything
can’t possibly fit, so they have to choose from the things enjoyed most. Make it a point to “snoop” and
just make certain at the last moment. You may do this outside the eyes of your host child so they don’t
feel condemned. After your final “search,” take the bag out to the car versus leaving it alone with the
host child for their last minute additions. Keep a calendar visible and write “return to (insert country)”
on the day they return. Mark off days as they go by. This way, the children will not be surprised when
the day to leave comes. A neat idea is to make a chain of interlocking loops using strips of colored
papers and hang it in their room. Each night, after prayers, tear off a link and allow the child to “see”
that he/she is one day closer.
Suggested Items to Send Home with Host Child
For both winter and summer hosting programs, each family is asked to obtain the following suggested
items for each hosted child. These are items that we think will benefit them in the months after
hosting. Most of these items you will have already gotten for them during the course of hosting. We
don’t intend for this to be a burdensome requirement, simply a clear, concise and focused packing list.
Again, use some of these items as “gifts” if others are asking what they can purchase or you are trying
to determine appropriate Christmas or birthday gifts while they are here.
 Tennis shoes/sneakers (Get a little big for growing room)
 3-4 pair socks (dark colors are often preferred by boys)
 3-4 pair underwear
 Toothpaste/toothbrush, soap, shampoo (Put all liquids and gels into checked baggage, not in
carry-on)
 Brush/comb
 One hand towel/washcloth (No large towels, they do not have clothes dryers or the space)
 One dressy outfit, consisting of a pair of slacks or skirt along with a blouse or button up shirt
 2-3 winter outfits and 2-3 summer outfits (consider a size larger than they currently wear)
 One conservative bathing suit (if available in winter; but necessary for summer)
 Good winter coat, scarf, gloves, hat. Check E-BAY, Burlington Coat Factory, GoodWill and
friends
 Memory book/photo album with photos (should be packed in their carry-on)
 Journal (present on the 2nd or 3rd day to the children old enough to write).
 1-2 toys that do not require batteries (sports equipment is popular for all), cheap Mp3 or
inexpensive (under $25) handheld battery game is ok for carry for travel home. REMEMBER, no
NAME brands or things that appear expensive.
 Small, inexpensive gift for their orphanage director and possibly 2 – 3 other caregivers. An idea
is pretty notepads, notecards, stationary type stuff and souvenirs from your host city. They
don't have access to such things, yet we can get them here very cheaply. Also, consider low cost
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jewelry from Claire’s or mega-marts or a photo of the host child with a recognizable landmark
in a non-breakable frame.
 Items they can share with others who didn’t get to come on the trip (boys and girls). Perhaps
rubber or stretch bracelets for friends, imprinted with faith based words and beaded jewelry
that you can make together. Small, inexpensive things can be found at Christian bookstores or
bulk catalogs like Oriental Trading. Stickers and decorated pencils are also cheap and easy to
pack. Check clearance aisles, as this doesn’t have to be expensive.
 If you plan to adopt, don’t send back everything. You may never see these items again.
 No child is to return home with ANY money. ZERO! No exceptions. You think they will keep the
$1 bills as souvenirs. In reality, they will want to look important once they are back with friends
and will wander off from chaperones into a store to buy a coke or a snickers bar! Even if that’s
not the case, again, having “American” money makes them a target, causes jealousy and
creates conflict once they return to the orphanage.
You must return any items that the child arrived with, even if you think it’s useless, not necessary or
doesn’t fit the child. During a recent mission trip, February 2009, we encountered a very upset foster
family who did not receive back all the items the child came to America with, including shoes and
clothes that were too small. The foster mom had obtained them in Ireland as a gift and the items were
sentimental to her. Do not keep anything brought by the child for sentimental reasons; it’s not your
property. Thoroughly search your home for any items that the child arrived with. While this takes up
valuable space in the child’s luggage, you do not want to risk offending the child’s orphanage or foster
family by selectively returning what you choose.
Checked Luggage
(The issue of LUGGAGE is changing daily with the airlines. We will evaluate the luggage allowances
during the hosting program and will send out the latest information.)
The child’s ONE (1) piece of checked luggage may not exceed 50 pounds under any circumstance.
Luggage must have a good handle and good wheels. It can be any fabric or color, the “look” doesn’t
matter. Used luggage is fine, check garage sales, GoodWill, thrift stores or ask friends. You must send
home one 26-31” rolling duffle bag. Do NOT exceed OR reduce this size! You will only risk running over
the weight limits or making your child feel left out when they get to the airport and realize their bag is
smaller than everyone else’s. We have had children, who did wonderful during the program; tell their
family NO to adoption once they returned home simply due to feeling slighted as they left because
their luggage was so much smaller than everyone else’s and they weren’t able to take nearly as much
home. It’s sad, but when you are an orphan, love is perceived as being treated as equals. Weigh your
child’s luggage at home and come in under the 50 pound allotment prior to arriving at the airport. You
won’t like pulling things out at the airport trying to make the cutoff and telling your child something
can’t go at the last minute and it WILL happen if their luggage is over the weight limit. Each child will
need to be able to maneuver their own luggage without assistance, for the most part. Homeland
Security restricts liquids. It’s mandated to place the following items in your child’s checked baggage
only:
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Toiletries- shampoo, toothpaste, mouthwash, perfume, aerosols, deodorant, eye care products
Cosmetic products- perfume, hair spray/gel, lip gloss, mascara, nail polish, makeup cleansers,
foundation
Non-solid food items- soups, syrups, gelatin, pudding, yogurt
Liquid soaps, sanitizers, bath oils, bubble bath
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Any creams, ointments or lotions
All other liquids/gels not listed here
Carry-on Backpack
One backpack is allowed as a carry-on. Please provide a good backpack the child can use after they
return home. As listed above, place NO liquids in your child’s carry-on luggage. Consider the weight of
the backpack, as over-packing will cause a strap to break before the child even begins their first flight
home. While waiting at the gate to board the first plane, if we (NHFC representative) sees an item that
is not allowed, please know that we will (and have) take it from the child and then return it to you via
mail. Please don’t make us have to do this and explain at the gate to a child that the item cannot be
taken home. This sets the tone for a BAD ride home.
Departure Day
Bring the children back to the airport at least three (3) hours prior to the time of their departure. These
children must go back, even if they find their forever families here in America. Staying in America is not
legal and will immediately end our program, affecting the future of hundreds of orphans and ruining
your children’s chance of ever being adopted. Don’t even think about it! To keep a child beyond the
program is considered kidnapping and you will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. In August
2009, our mission team was in Ukraine when a call came regarding a different US-based hosting
program who had a family retain 3 hosted siblings in Florida. The end result was that the host children
were taken by police and returned to Ukraine. That program is no longer allowed to host children and
all others are now under great scrutiny because of that situation. Those children lost not only a
potential adoptive family, but also their foster family in Ukraine because they are now living in an
orphanage without any hope for a future through adoption.
Tickets and passports are NOT in the possession of the children or host families during the program. If
you travel with your child, and they are under 18, no ID is required for domestic air travel. NHFC staff
will keep tickets and passports. If after searching your child’s bags upon arrival, you realize your child
has their passport or airline ticket, NOTIFY US IMMEDIATLY and send it to the NHFC office via a tracking
mail service. NHFC staff must keep their tickets and passports. The chaperones keep their own
however. Each host family will individually check in their hosted child and luggage. In the origination
city, each host family will receive a Ziploc bag from one of the NHFC staff members, which will have:
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Your child’s passport
Your child’s I-94 white immigration card, VERY IMPORTANT and CANNOT BE LOST.
Baggage tags with your child’s name and orphanage number
Colored ribbons (unique to each orphanage) to be tied on to their luggage. This will help to
easily identify the bags upon arrival in their country. Do NOT add your own ribbons or name
tags to luggage.
Every Child MUST wear their New Horizons shirt they arrived in, store it in a safe place for
departure day.
Do not attempt to get a gate pass. Host parents are not to go beyond security with the kids. Remain
with your child until they depart with the group. If you are also flying out, you will be allowed to assist
the group through security, however, do not go to the gate with the children. This is a strict program
policy that was long ago required by the adult chaperones who must regain control over the group of
children prior to their departure. Do not send/give gifts for chaperones at the airport!! They are
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packed to the gills and cannot take them. Keep in mind that we cannot block doorways, hallways or
walkways at the airport. While we want to stay together, we may not be able to stand around in one
big group. Keep an eye on your children, as they will be tempted to wander from family to family to say
good-bye. Prepare for last minute bathroom breaks and take them in advance. Stay close to the group
to hear announcements for departure through security. Prepare for what seems like eternal waiting at
the airport and then chaos getting everyone checked in, but realize it works and things take off at a
moment’s notice. When it’s announced that it’s time, it’s time right then. Let go. Some kids will
willingly go and others need to be “pushed.” It doesn’t mean they do or don’t love you depending on
their behavior at the airport. They don’t have the mature emotions to adequately handle things like
this. Many times, they show no emotions. Don’t worry. Most anything is considered normal at this
point. Saying good-bye may be one of the toughest things you’ve ever done, whether you plan to
adopt or not. We all grow very attached to the children while they are here and see their situation
from an adult perspective. Assure the children that it’s OK for them to be excited about going and sad
about leaving at the same time. Let them know it’s OK to cry too. Your child may NOT cry, as they are
taught/warned NOT TO CRY. So, don’t let this bother you if they don’t. It’s actually sad that some don’t
cry, but then again, IT WAS A HOSTING PROGRAM for them. Emotions may be out of control for the
children and the host families. It’s OK to cry at the airport. In fact, if you don’t, we might wonder if
you’re OK. Take tissues. Comfort children. Give lots of hugs, kisses and assurance during these last few
minutes.
Please don’t take this moment to try and change all the procedures that we have tried our best to put
into place. Everyone involved with the hosting program has suggestions, but the airport is not the time
to get a rally going to make changes. EVERY TIME we think we have it all planned out and inevitably the
airlines, security personnel or someone else makes a new plan for us. There is no checking in advance
to get it done more efficiently, we have tried and tried again. Please have patience with us and vent
later. We will probably join in the venting as well!
We may call your family on your cell number once the children’s flights depart to give an update on
how your child was after departing your family. This could be a couple of hours after you leave the
airport. We usually try to take a group photo in the airports before they board, if there is time before
boarding.
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THE “A” WORD – ADOPTION
You may NOT talk to the children about any aspect of adoption; do NOT mention the possibility, the
concept, the thought process or any form of the “A” word in their presence. This cannot be
emphasized enough. No matter what you think or feel, do NOT do it. It is NOT helpful to them. It is
detrimental to our program. The only thing worse than a child living in an orphanage, is having hopes
raised that their life is going to change, they will be adopted, and then they are not. More often than
not, children who are told they are being adopted, or being led to believe this, are the same ones WHO
ARE NOT EVER ADOPTED.
Be careful (better yet, don’t do it) when on telephone calls, cell calls or when sending emails to others.
You may THINK the kids do not understand any English but they may have actually picked up on
various parts of your conversations. Be super proactive in letting others know this rule before you run
into a problem. In the past, slip ups have occurred in the following ways and really caused heartache:
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In the concept of discussing a pet’s “adoption”…a child heard the word, and didn’t realize it was
in relation to a pet, but thought it was him! It wasn’t.
When attending a church service, the pastor was so excited to welcome the hosted children
present, he asked for church members to pray that each child would get adopted.
When a mom was driving down the road, with music playing, she thought her hosted child
couldn’t understand, so she called someone and discussed adoption of the child. The child
heard and soon spread the “news” to others at group events that they were all being adopted!
In discussing the joy of personally being an “adopted” child, a parent was trying to share a
personal experience, but the child misunderstood and thought it was about him/her.
If you are planning to adopt, you CANNOT speak with your child about this or with a chaperone, only
NHFC. No exceptions, under any circumstances. Try not to tell your own children and friends while the
kids are here, they may be the one to slip up. EVERY SINGLE PROGRAM, a host family violates this rule.
Often those families are the first ones to not fulfill the very thing they discussed with the child. Do NOT
put NHFC in the situation of sitting in the orphanage director’s office on the subsequent mission trip
attempting to make apologies and condolences for the after effect of families who violate the program
rules. Again, it’s very true that we have to do this at least once per each hosting program. Without a
doubt, there are those who feel an adoption is 100% taking place, only to see in coming weeks and
months that it isn’t going to happen because of family emergency, significant illness, etc. Without a
doubt, this happens every single program and an orphan is then left to sort out their feelings of
abandonment without the help of that family’s explanation.
As occurred Christmas 2008, don’t seek out your own personal translator to get around this
requirement. Don’t ask a child to “keep a secret” in order to break the rules. What kind of example is
that setting for them? When tempted to ask them about being adopted, or about “living in America
forever” or “what kind of family would you like”… don’t do it! If you do, you are breaking the rules. God
sees and hears all even if we don’t. Kids can’t keep things like this a secret and it can and does get back
to us. Can you imagine winning the lottery and being asked to keep it a secret for perhaps months? To
them, it’s THAT big, and they can’t do it! When we visit with orphanage directors and regional
authorities about our hosting program, we explain that adoption is not discussed with any child during
the program. In the case of this Christmas 2008 family’s decision to ignore this rule, that orphanage has
since pulled out of the program thinking we do not honor our word. That director has since shared the
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experience with another and now there are two orphanages not participating based on that host
family’s personal decision.
A similar thing happened on our winter interview trip to a new orphanage in January 2010. We went to
speak to the director about our program and she was very open to us interviewing children when we
realized that 2 of our recent participants had been relocated into her orphanage. We asked permission
to speak to them about their hosting family who was now adopting, in order to get their feelings. The
director understood this was protocol and openly invited them to her office so we could all talk. We
began asking the children how they liked their host family and when we got to the point of letting
them know they would like to adopt them, they interrupted and said, “we know they are adopting us,
they showed us the papers they were doing for the adoption when we were there over Christmas.”
With this, the director’s eyes grew wide with suspicion and after the girls left, we were questioned
extensively about how we promise our families do not speak to the kids about adoption. There, in that
first experience with our program, we were perceived to be lying. Ultimately, we were only given 2
children to interview and then asked to leave.
We cannot predict the future and you cannot predict the future. It hurts a child more to hear they will
be adopted and not be, than not hearing anything one way or the other. We are speaking from
experience on this one; please trust us! The time will come later to tell and it’s not while they are here
or anytime shortly after they return to their homes. This is a vacation for them. They may hope and
dream, but they do not EXPECT to be adopted from this. They really do EXPECT to return home.
America is NOT presently their home!
One idea is to create simple business style cards which stated:
We are hosting (insert child’s name), an orphan from (insert country). If you’d like more
information about this international orphan hosting program, visit
www.newhorizonsforchildren.org. Our family is advocating for this child to have a forever
family, but we kindly ask that you NOT ask us about adoption in front of the child.
This way, the card speaks discretely and quickly to someone without you having to explain over and
over and potentially encounter “adoption” questions in front of your host child. This is officially and
legally only a HOSTING program. All questions regarding adoption are to be directed to NHFC. Mostly,
we will try and answer basic questions from our experiences and then direct you to a few accredited
adoption agencies where you can get accurate information, as noted below.
Host families must always be present when the children first meet any potential adopting families.
Introduce potential families as “friends of the family”, not as potential adoptive families. No child will
be moved to another house to accommodate a potential adoption outside the host family. Do not
introduce your hosted child to someone interested in adopting unless they have first talked to NHFC.
While we do not handle the adoptions, we do know the basics of what it takes for an adopting family
to be approved internationally. Not everyone who wants to adopt, can adopt. We have a Visiting
Family Packet for any visiting family interested in your child for possible hosting or adoption. Make
sure they have received this and completed it prior to their visit. It is available online through the NHFC
website, from the HOSTING tab, look under FORMS for the document titled “Visiting Family.”
NHFC explains in all our materials that the information we have indicates the child is eligible for
adoption. While we cannot guarantee 100%, certainly each interviewed child is interviewed with the
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purpose of potentially placing them in a permanent situation versus a temporary one. If we have any
information that it is any different, we indicate that in the child's bio or let you know. We would never
offer an ineligible child intentionally without making that known to the host family. If new information
comes up after they are selected for hosting, we still let the host family know and they can make a
decision personally whether or not to host an ineligible child. If new information comes to us during
the actual host program, we still let the host family know. We get many questions during hosting about
the availability of the host child. We are committed to making certain the host families know what we
know in regards to a child's situation, as we are both advocates for the child. If anything changes, we
will be pleased to let you know, otherwise the information we have remains the same from the initial
interview to the time of hosting.
Adoption Agencies
This is an explanation of why we refer our host families to certain adoption agencies and/or
consultants in the USA to use when adopting a child previously hosted through New Horizons for
Children. There’s a huge difference in how other countries do business and “adoptions” are ultimately
a “business” like many other things. However, in China, the China Centre for Children's Welfare and
Adoption CCCWA assigns particular children (orphans) to particular accredited adoption agencies. The
children we bring on our hosting program are all assigned to Living Hope Adoptions in PA. Therefore,
all adoptions that may result from our hosting program should go through this agency so not to disrupt
the assignment of the child or have snafus in the adoption. However, out of “professional courtesy”,
Living Hope will reassign a child to another accredited agency in good standing with China if a family
already has a working relationship or is contracted with another agency. Families should contact Living
Hope for specific details on cases such as these.
Living Hope Adoptions, 449 Pennsylvania Ave, Fort Washington, PA 19034
(215) 540-8999 and ask for Tanya or Simi, China Caseworkers
www.LivingHopeAdoption.org
International Adoption Questions:
Here are some basic answers to many of the common questions asked about adopting from China. For
information beyond this, please contact the agency and inquire specifically as it relates to your
question. Please note that some “waivers” are given by the CCCWA for special needs/special focus
children regarding qualifications to adopt. For questions about “possible waivers” you would need to
contact Living Hope directly.
Our China hosting program is very unique and different from our Eastern European Hosting program in
more ways than just culture and country. Their children in all cases, who have not yet turned 14 years
of age are generally available, eligible and desire adoption. In this program, we first seek families who
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should/could be eligible to adopt, should the Lord lead your family to this decision after hosting from
China. However, this is not always possible so children are also placed in host families who can’t or
don’t desire to adopt. Again, while NHFC is not an adoption agency, we do try to uphold the desires of
the children and the country that sends them. In this case, China asks for us to please try and host their
children in a prospective adoptive family, which they deem is in the best interest of their children who
hope and desire this outcome.
Because NHFC is first a hosting program, we do not require our China adopting families to have this
decision made in advance, nor do we ask that this be your only goal for hosting.
Some children who have already turned 14 or will turn 14 during or soon after the hosting program
ends are available to most families as "Host Only" children. China has the unique law that prohibits
children from being adopted internationally once they turn 14. In other countries, this age is 16 and
can be higher when younger siblings are adopted at the same time. This is not the case for China
adoptions.
BASICS for China Adoptions of Special Focus children (school age that we bring on our program):
New Horizons for Children advocates for orphans who are eligible to be adopted, to find forever
families too! Because of this, we want our hosting families to be aware of some of the basics of WHAT
CHINA REQUIRES TO BE CONSIDERED TO ADOPT (not NHFC hosting requirements). However, with our
older children, there are some exceptions that are handled on a case by case basis by the adoption
agency who has been assigned to this orphanage:
A. Be at least 30 years old and no older than 55 years old (some exceptions on higher end for our
children due to their age (both husband and wife or single mother).
B. Annual income of at least $10,000 per household member, plus $10,000 to cover the Chinese child
being adopted. For example, if a current family of 5 wants to adopt 1 child, then an annual income of
$60,000 would be required by China, to adopt.
C. Net worth of a family must be at least $80,000... (what you own minus what you owe). Single parent
is $100,000.
D. Married at least 2 years to adopt and no more than 2 divorces for either mother or father and if
divorced, then at least 5 years of marriage together.
E. BMI (Body Mass Index) cannot be 40 or higher for adoptive parents. You can check yours online:
http://nhlbisupport.com/bmi/ However, 40 is considered "morbid obesity" and most will not fall into
this category.
F. Prospective adoptive parents must have a "clean bill of mental and physical health". However,
special medical conditions will be reviewed on a case-by-case basis by adoption agency handling the
adoptions and there are some exceptions. For example, families are typically required to be “cancer
free” for 10 years; however a waiver can be requested from the CCCWA for a specific case which is
sometimes approved.
G. At least one of the adoptive parents must be a U.S. Citizen.
H. Individuals/couples must also have at least a High School Diploma or equivalent
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I. China adoptions require one trip of about 2 weeks, and can be completed with only one parent
traveling. However, both are encouraged to travel together. Once a dossier is completed and sent to
China, a family can usually expect to travel within 3-6 months. The "Special Focus" children we are
working with on with the older and special needs children in this program will not have lengthy delays
in their adoption process as compared to traditional adoptions from China which can take many years.
“D” Day (Decision Day)
NHFC’s primary focus is hosting orphans and sharing the love of Christ and family. Going into hosting
with an attitude of “just hosting” gives the freedom to have fun without the pressure of training the
child to become a member of your family. Focus first on enjoying the children during their visit and just
concentrate on giving them the time of their lives through sharing God’s unconditional love. However,
a natural “by-product” of spending several weeks with an orphan child is that many families fall in love
with their child and desire to pursue adoption. During the last 2-3 weeks of the hosting program, we
will spread the word about children who are presumably still available for matching to families who
could be a potential adoptive family. If you are not adopting, you are the child’s #1 advocate! However,
you can NOT put pictures along with “available for adoption” type information on the web. NEVER
EVER, share their last name, orphanage name or specific date of birth. This is against the law and could
end the hosting program entirely. But, you can share on your personal Facebook and through email
with friends and families about the “mission” you are on to help this child.
On D-Day, we request each host family to submit your “intent.” This way, if another family is asking
about available children to meet, we can direct them to call you and set up a meeting before the kids
return home. Again, when the children meet other families, we do not explain that the visiting family is
anything more than “friends of their host family”. It’s NOT about discussing adoption with the kids.
Therefore, we do not move children simply because a family is not adopting. On this form, there is an
option of “undecided” as well. It’s a team effort, so don’t feel you are on an island of making a decision
alone. Please call us. Many of us have both adopted and NOT adopted from the hosting program. We
understand your feelings and possible concerns. Ultimately the question is, "God, are YOU asking US to
do more than host this particular child?"
Special Comments regarding Foster Children
We get many questions from host parents about foster children vs orphanage children on our hosting
program and adoptions related to them. NHFC has some host children who are in the foster care
system from both China and Latvia. However, even more unique from China is a large number of the
foster families live in one apartment type building and comprise “an orphanage” of foster families.
Foster families can have up to 6 children in a 2 parent home. However, the government in China
desires for their foster parents to be temporary and is seeking adoptive families for each child. Foster
families love the children and take care of them accordingly, which many times, is much better than
being in an institution. But, Foster Families do NOT see themselves as the child’s permanent family.
This is a job which also offers a home for their own family through fostering. They are fully aware of
our program and the goals and objectives. As you realize there is a parent/child relationship, it’s
natural to wonder if the child would “want” to leave their foster home. Certainly, the children are
“attached” to their foster family as it is probably their first decent “family” experience so they should
be attached to them. It is perfectly normal for them to express love, concern, miss and want to
communicate with their “family” while they are here on hosting. Just as you want to communicate with
your family members when you are away on a trip, it is no different for a foster care child. That does
NOT mean the child will be unable or unwilling to attach and bond with a new, permanent family in the
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future. In fact, it should be a good indicator to you that they can and will attach since they show they
have an ability to attach! Because a foster child has someone they now call "mom” and “dad," it is
understandable for a host parent to look from the “outside” and assume that their situation is better
than most and the child doesn’t really want to leave their foster family. We ask you please do NOT
assume that. Simply because a child in foster care may have access to more attention than an
orphanage child doesn’t make a foster care child “less needy” than an orphanage child. Both are going
to grow up and have no future and no permanent family. Focus not on what is “perceived”, but on
God's plan for the life of your host child.
If Your Host Child Did Not Find His / Her Forever Family
Do not feel as if you failed. Do not allow guilt to rob you of the wonderful experience this was intended
to be. While we pray the children will find adoptive families, our main goal is to allow each child to be
loved and experience life in a loving family during the hosting program. We are bringing these children
to Him. That is our calling for this program. And remember, we have ALL been adopted by Him so no
one is without Family. This experience will give the children memories that will last a lifetime, as well
as skills that will help them in their futures and build their self-esteem. Helping them to develop faith in
God will also carry them far in this life, but eternally in the next! Their self-esteem is raised a hundred
times what it was prior to the trip. They were CHOSEN to come to America and if nothing else, they
FLEW on an AIRPLANE! And, God willing, they should be able to speak and understand a good bit of
English when they return. This is priceless and very honorable for them to have been chosen and come
to America in China’s eye! Even if they do not find their adoptive families during the hosting, we will
not stop trying. We will continue to share pictures and information of all available children to all of our
contacts as much as you provide to us. Some who go home without a forever family do find one in the
weeks following the program. Others get hosted in the subsequent hosting program. Never stop
praying for your host children and be proud of all you did while they were here. Be willing to talk to
prospective families if someone calls you after stating NHFC asked them to call you. Share the truth:
good, bad and ugly if there was some. Keep things in context and perspective. Several children could
not function in one family, but the next one was the best fit we ever saw. One little boy who had
obsessive/compulsive (OC) tendencies drove his first family nuts, but was perfectly compatible with his
next host mom who was also OC!
If You Are Adopting
If you’re adopting, tell us, so we can help direct you onto a good path for adoption ASAP. The sooner
it’s done, the sooner your family will be together again. While you might be tempted to contact every
agency on the Internet, we must warn you to please DO NOT DO THIS. Giving the wrong information to
a well-meaning agency has lost a child to more than one family. You can ruin a potential adoption
simply by asking too many agencies for the same information. REALLY! And, with CHINA, the children
are “locked” to be handled through Living Hope.
Continuing Support
Even after the hosting, as much as some might want it (just kidding), we won’t go away! Contact us for
any questions regarding where to go with your adoptions and also for questions or information about
future hosting programs. We’ll send emails with updates on the children as we receive them. Tell
everyone you know about the hosting program. The more people know, the more people will want to
get involved. If you need flyers or information, just let us know. We will gladly speak at your events or
for special interest groups. Finally, if your experience wasn’t the best in the world, it doesn’t mean that
is normal for our entire program. Be conscious that what you experienced may have been an exception
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and rare. Be aware that public criticisms only hurt children if your words discourage others from ever
considering hosting. Every program has its “bumps”, but if we continue to work together, we can make
the program better next time. We need and desire your input to improve the next program.
Mission Trip Delivery to Hosted Children after Hosting
Each mission trip, we offer to take Ziploc bags of “goodies” to the previously hosted children. We do
this as a fundraiser for our mission team members. For a $50 donation, we will take a gallon-size Ziploc
bag that you fill as you desire with candies (non-chocolate so it doesn’t melt in transit), photos, letters
and other special items. The Ziploc bag must close and we ask you to be conscious of how much it
weighs. If we are able to deliver it personally, we will take a picture and send it to you upon our arrival
back in the USA. However, most times we are unable to get a photo as we have to leave them with
orphanage directors when children are not there or mail them while in country to the orphanage
because it is not on our interview route for the new trip. But, considering how much it costs to mail a
package overseas and not be certain it will arrive, you’ll find that our fundraiser is very reasonable.
Mission Trips are just after hosting closes, so typically late January/early February, then again in late
August/early September. We just want you to know in advance that we offer this service for you in
case you’d like to send something to your hosted child just after hosting ends. More information on
this will be sent during the host program.
THE FINE PRINT
The SMALL staff and MANY volunteers of New Horizons for Children do their very best to provide
correct and current information regarding hosting and all it encompasses.
Our information comes from many sources- most of which are outside our sphere of influence. As a
result, we are occasionally given inaccurate information-which we unknowingly pass on as accurate.
This is not done with the intent to deceive or misconstrue the facts. We simply do the best we can with
the information we have. Additionally, not all of our contacts are 100% supportive of our ministry.
That may or may not influence the completeness/accuracy of the information we're given.
Please remember that many of our sources, as well as the host children themselves, come from a
different cultural background than to what you may be accustomed. Societal norms, customs, ideals
and protocols in China are often very different from what we would consider normal or customary. It is
unrealistic and unfair to hold them to “American” standards- they are not Americans. Each country
from which we host has a rich culture, heritage and history of its own. Please be respectful and
understanding of that.
Instances where we may not have “all” the details could include information about a host child’s past,
their exposure to pornography, alcohol, smoking, availability for adoption, visits from relatives, and the
possibility of sexual abuse (to name a few). In every orphanage and foster home we visit, we attempt
to get as complete of a picture of each child as possible. Beyond the interview of each child, we ask
their directors, social workers (foster parent when available) and caregivers very personal questions
about the children we interview. It not only helps the interview team decide which children will be
offered for hosting, but it also allows us to pass on important information to potential host families.
Despite our best attempts, we cannot say with 100% certainty that we ALWAYS get the information we
need and desire. Sometimes, we’re simply not told. Sometimes, important information is omitted.
Occasionally a child will mislead us. For example, when asked about visitors, a child might say “No one
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ever visits me.” However we may find out later that yes, no one visits him at the orphanage, but the
child goes to see his dad on his own time away from school. If we know of an issue or potential
problem, we will share that with you. We want our host families to enter their hosting experience with
eyes wide open, armed with all the knowledge and details we can provide. It makes for a better
experience for all involved.
A word about pornography. It’s not something we usually ask about- mainly because it’s so rampant
and easily accessible. What we would consider pornography is commonplace in many Eastern
European countries- including the ones from which we host. It is safe to assume that practically all of
the children we interview have been exposed to it… many on a regular basis- even from a very young
age. From China, the culture is much more conservative and we have not seen the same exposure or
use of nudity in advertising and media. The children we have spent time with, and who were hosted
the first program etc, are very innocent children in these regards. Pray it stays this way! But, it is a real
possibility, so be prepared for this as well.
As previously discussed, a natural “by-product” of hosting is the decision to pursue adoption. New
Horizons is NOT an adoption agency, but we’re always thrilled when a child finds their forever family
through the hosting process. International adoption can be a very long and expensive process that can
sometimes not turn out as expected. If it is your family’s heart’s desire to adopt your host child, there
is no absolute guarantee it will come to fruition. Even if your host child has a fabulous time and cries
buckets of tears at the airport on departure day, sometimes connections to their extended family (or
orphanage family) are just too strong for them to say “YES! “ to adoption- even knowing it would mean
a better life. However, in China, this is unique as well: children are only offered adoption one time. If
they decline it, they are never offered adoption again. So, many children will be very encouraged to
agree and supported in making a positive decision.
There are also times when a child will say “YES!” to adoption, and then- for any number of reasonschange their mind later. Unfortunately, by then the family is “in country” to adopt and has spent
thousands of dollars on paperwork, fees, and travel arrangements. Ultimately, it is the child’s decision
whether we agree with it or not, but it is expected to be very rare in cases of Chinese adoption.
We ask that potential and current host families do their due diligence in preparing for hosting. While
we require all new host families attend a 1 day host parent training or complete 12.5 hours of online
training to help prepare for hosting, that training cannot cover every eventuality, possibility, situation
or issue- they are too numerous and varied. There are several books listed in the “Recommended
Reading” section of this Host Manual and on our website and we strongly encourage host families to
read as many of them as they can. The books are not “required reading”, but the information they
contain will be invaluable in preparing for and during your hosting experience.
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Mailing Overseas
You are allowed to send letters and packages to your host child. But, please continue to follow
our rules on what can be said and sent. Even months after hosting, NHFC is contacted when a
host child receives cash money in the mail from their host family in America. CHINA begs for
continued contact and support from adopting/hosting families. Continue to make contact as
best as you can, once the kids return home. If you are able through phone calls, emails, letters
or small care packages, please do it. If you’d like to send self-addressed envelopes with the
children, you will need to secure proper postage that will work when mailing something from
China. US postage is only valid on items being mailed from the USA. Also, our phone cards will
NOT WORK from other countries, when calling to the USA. However, if you are not adopting
and there is a new family who has committed to adopting your host child, you need to step
back and allow that relationship to flourish. This can be very hard, and possibly feel something
like a surrogate mother who has carried the child and now hands that child over to their family.
If you mail a package, ask the post office about filling out a customs declaration. Do not insure
the package or you will indicate “value” to a customs person overseas. By adding additional
insurance or valuing the package contents high, import fees may be placed on a package.
Orphanages and foster parents do not have the money to pay these fees and then cannot
retrieve the package.
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China Embassy Letter
China host families may receive a letter similar to the one below that our Ukraine host families
receive via email and regular mail. Please do not be alarmed when you receive it, its standard
procedure for host families to receive such a letter. You do need to respond to it at all and it is
delivered to every host family from Ukraine regardless of a family’s intention beyond hosting.
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SPECIAL FORMS
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Agreement to Abide
This document was agreed to and electronically signed by both parents through
your full application process online. This is a copy for your information and to
reference later if needed.
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We agree to abide by and follow all rules, policies and guidelines as listed in this latest version of the
training manual and also as discussed during the training class.
If we are a re-host family and opt to not attend the current host parent training, we understand that we
are still bound by materials covered in this updated manual. We understand that since we have
previously attended training in the past 24 months, that it is recommended, but not mandatory for us to
attend again.
We understand that there can be no guarantees of adoption of any particular child and that the
information shared with our family about our particular hosted child is given as it was presented to the
mission and interview team by orphanage directors, social workers and other caregivers.
While it is hoped that all information given to the NHFC volunteers, by orphanage personnel, is honest
and accurate, there are times when it is later deemed that a host child is unadoptable for some reason.
We understand that the child we may want to adopt may decide later they don’t want to be adopted. At
times, this may not be determined until our dossier to adopt arrives in the country and we are approved
to adopt a child. This can only be determined through an accredited adoption agency licensed in the
country where the child resides or a licensed Adoption Attorney in the country of the child’s residence. To
go around this procedure can disrupt our adoption, breaks rules of Ukraine, Latvia and China and the
Hosting Program of New Horizons for Children, Inc.
We understand that if any new information is given/known about our host child, we will be told in a
timely manner.
We understand that only an accredited adoption agency or attorney for adoption can issue a final
conclusion regarding adoption of a particular child by a particular family. We understand it is illegal for
New Horizons for Children to obtain full disclosure of a child’s specific situation, due to privacy laws in
their countries regarding orphans and the release of their personal information and data.
We understand that at times, children initially deemed “not eligible” for adoption, have later been cleared
and were later able to be adopted, but this is a rare situation.
We understand that foreign governments are volatile and adoption procedures/laws change. Guaranteed
timelines for adoption are not possible. Politics of foreign countries are VERY different than dealing with
the USA.
Adoptions generally take from 6-18 months to complete once the decision is made to move forward with
the process and paperwork, but can be longer depending on the family’s commitment to complete the
process in a timely manner and ever-changing laws in the foreign country. However, these are only
guidelines and since we are NOT an adoption agency, NHFC cannot make any promises or predictions
regarding the adoption process.
We agree to do our humanly best to maintain, love, protect and care for our hosted child in our home for
the duration of the program. However, if some urgent situation arises that places the child or another
person in danger, we will alert a New Horizons for Children staff member immediately, and understand
that in some emergency situations, a child may be moved to another host family home. If we ever feel we
are not in control of the child’s safety and well-being we will call for help! The safety, physical and
emotional well-being of the child is the absolute first priority in our program.
NHFC has the right to move a child from a host family if ever they deem it to be in the best interest of the
child.
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TRAVEL REQUEST FORM
Must be signed by both host parents and returned prior to travel over 200 miles from
home FAX to 678-574-4757 or SCAN/EMAIL rmcalpin@newhorizonsforchildren.org
Host family name: _______________________________________________________________
Hosted Child’s name, ID# and country:_________________________________________
Dates of Travel:________________ Destination/Purpose of Travel:_______________________
Mode of Transportation: (If flights, give airline/flight number/time. If by car or other, please list days of travel)
_____________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________
Where will your family and the hosted child stay? Hotel, family etc? ______________________
_____________________________________________________________________________
How your host child can be contacted during this trip (cell phone numbers, destination numbers):
______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
We agree to alert NHFC in writing should these travel plans change and telephone the child’s chaperone.
During the trip, we agree to have our hosted child contact their chaperone no less than once every 5-7
days by phone or more frequently if the child desires.
We understand that the hosted child must remain in our custody and cannot go alone or with other
family members or friends unless those adults are also cleared through NHFC in advance with
background checks. In case of any emergency, we understand to contact NHFC immediately.
________________________________________________
Hosting Mother (print and sign)
__________________
Date
________________________________________________
Hosting Father (print and sign)
__________________
Date
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NON-HOST FAMILY WHO WISHES TO VISIT HOSTED CHILD
FOR ADOPTION CONSIDERATION
If you have a family who is interested in visiting with you and your hosted child for the purposes
of possible adoption, there is a VISITING FAMILY packet that MUST be completed prior to
meeting with the child. The visiting family must complete the forms and fax them back to our
office prior to visits with the host child. This is to protect the child, as well as your family. It
would be illegal for you to share ANY information related to the child’s last name, orphanage or
date of birth with ANYONE without our prior knowledge and approval. This is incredibly
important and we WANT to help you advocate for your HOST child, but we must be aware of
what families are making inquiry into our host children. It’s absolutely necessary.
This VISITING FAMILY application is available through our website.
The family must the submit this application prior to any meeting with the host child(ren).
Contact Melissa Macy with any questions: 703-999-0408 mmacy@newhorizonsforchildren.org
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Hosting Checklist
□ Send e-mails to local media
□ Schedule vision appointment (schedule as early as possible in case follow-up appointments are needed)
Date
Time
Location
□ Schedule dental appointment (schedule as early as possible in case follow-up appointments are needed)
Date
Time
Location
□ Confirm Local Chaperone’s contact information
Chaperone’s Name
Host Family Name
Dates with this Host Family
Host Family’s e-mail
Host Family’s Phone
Meeting Day & Location
□ Confirm Host Child(ren)’s Flight Information
Airline
Flight #
Arrival Time
Terminal
Phone
Meeting Time
Meeting Location
Meeting Information
Airport Coordinator / AAI Rep
Day of Arrival
□ Take family photo with host child before leaving the airport
□ Call assigned chaperone to confirm arrival within 24 hour (be patient as chaperones arrive tired as well
and have a learning curve in working their cell phones usually). Locate these numbers in your email
correspondence and fill this in for easy reference later.
Chaperone Name
Phone Number
Translator Name
Phone Number
For host children who arrive with a NHFC Chaperone:
□ Confirm chaperone keeps passports. Chaperone host family will send to NHFC home office using
traceable shipment within 3 days of arrival. EMAIL tpeterson@newhorizonsforchildren.org with
information on name of child and tracking number for passport sent.
For host children who arrive with an AAI Rep:
□ Verify who has the child’s passport. If AAI rep has it, secure host children’s passports and send to NHFC
home office using traceable shipment within 3 days of arrival. EMAIL
tpeterson@newhorizonsforchildren.org with information on name of child and tracking number for
passport sent.
Weeks 1-5
Weight
Height
Contacted Chaperone
Weekly Report Submitted (including photos)
Week 1
Week 2
Week 3
Week 4
Week 5
□ Confirm Host Child(ren)’s Flight Information
Airline
Flight #
Departure Time
Terminal
Meeting Information
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Airport Coordinator / AAI Rep
Phone
Meeting Time
Meeting Location
Coordinator Information
Regional Coordinator Name
Regional Coordinator e-mail
Regional Coordinator cell phone
Assistant Coordinator Name
Assistant Coordinator e-mail
Assistant Coordinator cell phone
You have reached the end! Praise the Lord! Now, jump up and down 10 times and prepare for launch!
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