Teachers for a New Era
Faculty Writing Seminars
Modeling Good Writing
for Students
Alberto Esquinca, Education, aesquinca@utep.edu
Kerrie Kephart, Education, kkephart@utep.edu
November 16, 2007
University Suite, Union East
11:30 AM – 1:30 PM
Overview
• What? – An approach to modeling good
writing for students that makes the values
and concerns of the discipline explicit.
• Why? – What constitutes “good writing”
is not all the same everywhere.
• How? – Two model texts: metallurgy lab
report and executive briefing from
business
• And a caveat…
Lab Report: Functional stages
A very formal genre- The author’s communicative
purpose is made explicit by the use of headings and
sub-headings.
• Introduction: It sets the stage, provides background,
• Procedure: It discusses how the experiment was carried out
• Results: It describes what was observed, no interpretation. It
can include tables or other means to summarize the data.
• Discussion: It interprets results for the reader.
• Conclusion: It states what was determined from the
experiment.
Lab report genre
• In writing, scientists must
• Specify what took place, what materials were used, how those
materials were manipulated.
• Be clear in order to facilitate replicability of procedures.
• At the same time “Avoid personalities and reference to individual
human beings and actions” (Lemke, 1990).
• It means that
• Writers foreground processes and materials and place human actors
in the background.
Analysis of Procedures section
• Passive voice
– Three elements:
• Subject
• Main verb
• Past participle
• Crucially- The subject position is not filled
by a person who undertakes action or
acted on the materials
Subjects
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
Two samples of Al-2.5% Cu alloy
[They] (x 3)
Sample A
[It] (x 2)
The other sample, Sample B,
It (x 2)
Sample B
[it]
Each sample (x 6)
The samples
Past participles
• All but one are verbs of doing, acting.
• In everyday language they would be used
as a person action on an object.
• In science discourse, the human actor is
removed.
• Replicability is the motivation.
Past participles
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
made
put (x 2)
melted, remelted
kept (x 2)
taken out
poured into (x 2)
cut down
ground
polished
etched (x 2)
Review
• No human actors. Subjects are
inanimate objects (“samples”).
• Replicability is the guiding principle
being enacted in the text.
• Anybody should be able do the
procedures. References to specific
people is avoided.
Compare
• Student writing in 4th grade science
– Does include references to specific people
doing things and acting on objects.
4th grade science writing
• “When we made a circuit…
• “When we wrapped a wire..
• “When we made a circuit …”
Discussion section analysis
• The student uses linguistic resources to
interpret, explain, attribute and, in
general, produce a reasonable explanation
for observed phenomena.
Causality connectors
• Due to (x 6)
• Because (x 3)
• Therefore (x 4)
• since
Causality in nouns
• effect
• reason
• a direct result (x 2)
• possibility (x 3)
Causality in a verb
• Made
• The heat flow outward in all directions
around the crucible made the dendrites
grow towards the center of the crucible.
• Energy --> growth
In sum
• The procedure establishes the activities that were
carried out in the experiment.
– But the emphasis is on the activity, not the person who
undertook the actions.
• The discussion offers up a reasoned explanation for
why what was observed took place.
– Causality is mostly done through connectors, but also
through nouns and verbs.
• Each section of the lab report has different purposes.
Words (nouns, verbs, connectors) are used to fulfill
the communicative purpose.
Analysis of Executive Briefing:
Functional Stages
1.
Introduction – Introduces the issue or problem. Contains the primary
recommendation for action, usually within the first paragraph.
2.
Company and Industry Background – Provides just enough
information about the source of the issue/problem to set the context for
the analysis. (Comes from the case study materials.)
3.
Analysis – Reflects the implementation of tools of strategic analysis
(taught in the course). Must lead logically to the primary
recommendation. Often presented as a table.
4.
Recommendations – Provides more detailed discussion of the primary
recommendation, including any prerequisites, parts, or processes
involved in implementing the recommendation.
5.
Conclusion – Briefly reiterates the primary recommendation and
justification.
Analysis of Executive Briefing:
Valued Features
• Brevity, succinctness, and “skimmability” –
“Time is money.”
• Specificity – recommended actions need to refer
clearly to the relevant actors and the entities
being acted upon.
• Balance – analysis must demonstrate a balanced
approach.
• Boldness – although alternatives are often
presented, analysis must lead logically toward a
clear course of action.
Analysis of Executive Briefing:
Organization and Content
• Introduction – foregrounding of
recommendation helps meet time
concerns.
• Background – Choice of information to
include.
• Analysis – Use of tables organizes
information succinctly, shows
relationships among ideas, and leads
toward recommendations.
Analysis of Executive Briefing:
Word Choice and Grammar
• Hedging the analysis – use of “may” in
“Barriers to Value Creation.”
• Noun phrase for recommendation –
makes the major decision sound like a
“done deal.”
• Use of abbreviations – meets goal of
succinctness; demonstrates membership in
the “business management” discourse
community.
Steps in Explicit Modeling of Texts
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
Identify the text type/genre that you want students to
learn to write.
Choose an exemplar of the genre as a model.
Analyze the major sections or “stages” of the text –
identify the functional purposes and content of each
stage.
Analyze specific stylistic, vocabulary, and grammar
choices that express the purposes of the text.
Keep in mind the values and concerns of the discipline
and how these are expressed in the text.
Present the model to students – use slides and discuss
it in class, prepare a handout, and/or post the
annotated model text in the course website.
Tentative Topics for Spring
• Peer-Review and Writing Conferences
• Dealing with Plagiarism
• Second language learners’ issues
• “Have You Tried This?” – faculty across
campus share strategies & experiences