FACILITATOR: MS. EUREKA DALTON
Pre-writing Using Text Evidence
• Know your topic: You can’t write well on a
topic if you don’t have any background
knowledge about it.
• Before you begin writing:
– Gather sources and info (if applicable)
– Read about your topic (prompt)
Let’s Get Organized with RAFT!
• Step 1: Read the prompt. Underline verbs
that help you identify exactly what you are
supposed to write about and the purpose of
the essay. Highlight this info.
• Role: Who are you as the writer? A movie
star? The President? A plant?
• Audience: To whom are you writing? A
senator? Yourself? A company?
• Format: In what format are you writing? A
diary entry? A newspaper? A love letter?
• Topic: What are you writing about?
Brainstorming
• After you decide on a topic or after you
are given a topic, brainstorm for
reasons/points to support or illuminate
the topic
• Use a circle map to brainstorm
Put Main
Idea in the
Center
Put
your
reasons
for your
main
idea in
the
outer
circle
Choosing points
• Decide on the three best reasons/points that
support your main idea the best.
• Make sure your points are varied/different
from one another so that they don’t overlap
causing redundancy (repeating) in the
composition
• Circle the points you want on your circle map.
Choosing points
• Decide on the three best points and put them
in order of importance, from least important
to most important, on a flow map.
Least
Greatest
ABC’s of an Opening Paragraph
Needed parts:
1. Attention getter
2. Bridge
3. Composition topic (Thesis statement)
•
•
Refer to p. 3 in writing folder
Follow instructions for writing an opening
paragraph
A=Attention getter
• The purpose
A. effectively focus/hook the audience’s
attention in the direction of the thesis to come
B. lead the audience down the track of thought
to the composition’s thesis
Competition Essay
• Example: Imagine a world devoid of the thrill
of victory: No cheering when one makes it to
the finished line, no thunderous applause and
medals at the Olympics when the athlete does
the amazing and receives the inner triumph of
a dream fulfilled. Moreover, there really would
be no need for terms like “the best,” because
competition usually identifies who is the best.
DO NOT USE MY EXAMPLE. IT IS PLAIGIARISM
AND WILL RESULT IN FAILURE.
Attention getters
1. Ask a provocative/thoughtprovoking/challenging question
2. Make a bold/shocking statement
3. Provide a statistic or fact
4. Tell a short story (anecdote-3 to 5 sentences)
5. Quote
6. Define a term
7. Verbal picture
8. Humor
9. Mystery
B=Bridge
• The bridge purpose:
A. BRIDGE from the attention getter to the
composition’s thesis.
B. transitional sentence or a lead sentence. To
simplify, a bridge smoothly moves the essay
from the hook to the punchline.
Bridge for Competition
• Example: The idea of being the best has
motivated great human and personal
triumphs some of which have had a global
impact on the world. Specifically, the
competition between Apple and Samsung has
led to major technological advances that have
made life easier.
Opening Paragraph Organization
Attention getting sentence. Main idea
sentence. Thesis statement.
Example:
Splish splash went the soothing, cool
water as I dove in the shimmering,
emerald blue pool on summer’s day. I
adore swimming, so I do it every
chance I get. It is the main reason I
look forward to the summer.
Swimming is my favorite pastime
because it is relaxing, it exercises the
body, and it is challenging.
Opening Continued: Example 2
• Ready to experience Southern hospitality at
its best? Atlanta exemplified what the South
is known for: being welcoming. Not only
were the warm and inviting, but also there
was plenty to experience.
As a result, it has become my
favorite vacation spot because of
the Coca Cola Company, Martin
Luther King’s museum, and the
underground mall.
Coherence and Organization Check
• Red pen needed (Or whatever is your
preferred color)
• Students switch papers (if you desire)
1. Do I/ does my classmate have an attention
getter?
2. Does the bridge transition smoothly into the
thesis statement?
3. Is there missing information?
4. Does it seem boring? Grammatically poor?
Too much (diarrhea of the mouth)
Composition Thesis/Topic
• last component
• most vital part of an introduction
• point of the essay or the purpose of the
writing.
• Consequently, if one has no thesis, there’s no
formal essay.
• For standardized testing and academic essays,
the general topic is supplied to the writer.
• Writer decides what specifically about the
assigned topic will be discussed in the essay.
Composing a Thesis
• To write the thesis statement, one simply has
to connect the topic in the center of the circle
to the points in the boxes beneath the circle.
• Example: Competition is a positive aspect in
schools because it fosters ingenuity, it builds
character, and it improves social skills.
Now you have an introduction!
Imagine a world devoid of the thrill of victory: No cheering
when one makes it to the finished line, no thunderous
applause and medals at the Olympics when the athlete does
the amazing and receives the inner triumph of a dream
fulfilled. Moreover, there really would be no need for terms
like “the best,” because competition usually identifies who is
the best. The idea of being the best has motivated great
human and personal triumphs some of which have had a
global impact on the world. Specifically, the competition
between Apple and Samsung has led to major
technological advances that have made life easier.
Competition is a positive aspect in schools because it fosters
ingenuity, it builds character, and it improves social skills.
Coherence and Organization Check
• Red pen needed (Or whatever is your
preferred color)
• Students switch papers (if you desire)
1. Do I/ does my classmate have an main idea
or claim?
2. Is my/her/his main idea clear?
3. Do I/ does my classmate have supporting
points for the main idea/claim? Are they
appropriate?
4. Is there missing information?
PEEEE ON IT!
POINT (REASON/CLAIM)
EXPLAIN-PERSONAL DEFINITION
EXAMPLE-PERSONAL STORY/TEXT INFORMATION
EXPLAIN-SHOW HOW THE EXAMPLE PROVES YOUR POINT (RELEVANCE)
END/EXIT - SUMMARIZE YOUR POINT: CLOSING SENTENCE/BOWTIE/CLINCHER
Points=Topic sentences:
• A topic sentence tells the reader what a
specific paragraph will be discussing
• You have already written the topic sentence
for each paragraph when you wrote the thesis
statement #winning
• A topic sentence should be preceded by a
transition or a transition
can be embedded
Examples of topic sentence
•
Reading is my favorite hobby because it is
inexpensive, I can choose the topic, I can do
it at my own pace.
1. To begin, reading is my favorite hobby
because it is inexpensive.
More example of topic sentences
• Atlanta is my favorite vacation spot because
I got to visit the Coca Cola Company, tour
Martin Luther King’s museum, and shop at
the underground mall.
1st paragraph topic sentence
(transition), Atlanta is my favorite vacation
spot because I visited the Coca Cola
Company.
Example of topic sentences
• Atlanta is my favorite vacation spot because
I got to visit the Coca Cola Company, tour
Martin Luther King’s museum, and shop at
the underground mall.
2nd paragraph topic sentence
(transition), Atlanta is my favorite vacation
spot because I had an opportunity to tour
Martin Luther King’s museum.
Example of topic sentences
• Atlanta is my favorite vacation spot because
I got to visit the Coca Cola Company, tour
Martin Luther King’s museum, and shop at
the underground mall.
3rd paragraph topic sentence
(transition), Atlanta is my favorite vacation
spot because of the underground mall.
Explanation & Examples
• This is the most time consuming step
• Explanation must always be followed by the
example (stories or text evidence)
• The reader should have a clear idea of what
you mean after this step
• It supports your point/reason from the topic
sentence
Explanation: To give details,
clarify, add meaning
• To explain means to give specific details for
something to make it clear to the reader what
you are attempting to say.
• It is helpful to use transitions like:
By this I mean,
to explain,
this means that
(complete set of suggestions on your sheet &
on back wall)
Explanation
Explanation
Explanation
Example
Example
Example
PEEEE on It: Explain
Insert transitions to make the writing smooth
and strengthen order.
1.
2.
3.
Explain: Provide your own personal definition of
OR POV about the topic.
_____________
______________
_______________
_____________
______________
_______________
_____________
______________
_______________
PEEEE on It: Example
Example: Provide a story/illustration to support the explanation. If text is provided, place
text info/quote here; it is helpful to put paragraph/line # & the page #.
_____________
______________
_______________
_____________
______________
_______________
_____________
______________
_______________
PEEEE on It: Exemplify
Exemplify: How does the example show how the explanation is accurate, plausible, or
logical. DO NOT BE REDUNDANT- REPEAT INFO IN THE EXPLANATION OR EXAMPLE.
_____________
______________
_______________
_____________
______________
_______________
_____________
______________
_______________
PEEEE on It: Exit
• The last “E” in PEEEE cannot be done until the
writer actually writes the body paragraphs.
• WHY? The writer has to read what he has
written to summarize it.
You need three sheets of loose leaf
• Topic sentence= Transition +Topic sentence
Skip two lines
• Explanation= Transition + personal
definition/clarify
Skip four lines
• Example= Transition + Story and/or evidence
After the Intro, develop Elaboration
• This is when you provide an explanation and
examples to support (back up) your reasons.
(1)Transition, topic sentence reason from thesis.
THEN PEEEE
(2)Explanation sentence. (3)Example sentence(s).
(4)Explanation sentence. (5) EXIT/ENDING sentence.
Should have at least 6 sentences in this order!
Explanation
• Explanation is your own personal
definition/meaning your topic sentence.
• The text can be used as an explanation of
your topic sentence.
• Generally, the text should be used to explain
what you mean by the topic sentence and
include your own personal twist.
Example Body Paragraph Including an
Explanation Sentence:
To begin, Atlanta is my favorite vacation
spot because I got to visit the Coca Cola
Company. We toured different rooms that
depicted different times in the history of the
Coca Cola Company.
Notice, I made it clear what I mean by “toured.” I
provided my own personal meaning for it.
Examples
• Examples should be specific illustrations (story) of what
you have said in your topic sentence and explanation.
• Examples can be to discuss:
Text example (TEXT MUST PROVE YOUR POINT)
Your personal experience with the topic
Other’s personal experience with the topic experience
with the topic
A hypothetical (imaginary) personal experience with the
topic
Example Body Paragraph Including an
Example Sentence:
To begin, Atlanta is my favorite vacation spot
because I got to visit the Coca Cola Company. I
toured different rooms that depicted different
times in the history of the Coca Cola Company.
For example, while visiting a room that looked
like a long ago drugstore, I was shown how the
cola was mixed by the pharmacist. It was
entertaining to watch the pharmacist mix up
the coke like a scientist in a laboratory.
Transitions: Smooth Operator!
• Insert transitions at the beginning of each
paragraph to make your move from one
topic to the next smoothly.
• Insert transitions in the actual paragraphs
(before explanations and examples) to
continue the smooth flow of information.
• You should have several varied (different)
transitions.
Let’s Close the Case!
Closing Paragraph
•
The closing paragraph must have a minimum
of (3) sentences:
1. Paraphrase the main idea sentence from the
opening paragraph
2. Paraphrase the POINTS/thesis statement/3
points) from the opening paragraph
3. Closing statement: most important idea,
thought, or feeling to leave the reader with.
(Can be more than one sentence)
Closing Paragraph
• To write a high-quality closing paragraph, your
have to look at the opening paragraph
(MIRROR STRATEGY)
• Remember a closing paragraph is a summary
of the major points of your essay. These major
points are included in the opening for a
reference and should’ve been what the body
paragraphs discussed
Opening Continued: Example 2
• Are you ready to experience Southern
hospitality at its best? Well I did during my
vacation to Atlanta. The people were friendly
and my family never ran out of things to do.
Specifically, It is my favorite vacation spot
because I got to visit the Coca Cola Company,
tour Martin Luther King’s museum, and shop
at the underground mall.
Closing Paragraph
• To summarize, visiting Atlanta was just a
dream come true. The Coca Cola Company
presented me with many milestones in Coke’s
history. I will never forget how connected I felt
to Black history at the MLK museum, and the
underground mall was a bizarre treat. Atlanta
is the place to go if someone wants none
ending exploration.
Rough Draft
•
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Copy the information from your maps into
five paragraphs:
Indent: Introductory paragraph
Indent: 1st point body paragraph
Indent: 2nd point body paragraph
Indent: 3rd point body paragraph
Indent: Closing paragraph
END/EXIT SENTENCE
Bowtie & Clincher Sentence
• Each body paragraph needs an EXIT. This is the last
sentence in each body paragraph. So you should
have three: one for each body paragraph!
• It is a summary of the main topic discussed in the
paragraph.
• (1)Transition, topic sentence including POINT from
thesis. (2)Explanation sentence (define). (3)Example
sentences (story) . (4) Explanation sentence
(example relevance) (5)Exit sentence.
Example of closing sentence for
positive influence essay: Para 1
• To begin, April is a positive influence because she is
supportive. In other words, April gives great advice that
helps me get out of sticky situations. For instance, I lost
my mom’s wedding ring one summer. I was panicked. I
called April and she instantly came rushing over to
rescue me. After helping me retrace my steps, we
found the ring nestled among some clothes in the
laundry basket. April has really gotten me out of some
tough spots.
2nd paragraph
• In addition to April being supportive, she is also a
positive influence because she is creative. To clarify, she
believes every problem has a solution. One just has to
try and find it. Notably, I wanted to join the military
when I got out of school, but could not lose the 20
pounds to meet the weight requirement. April had me
tape a picture of my chubby self and a picture of the
army emblem on the fridge. Every time I wanted to
snack, I saw my goal. I lost the weight and was so
excited. I can always plan on April to have a plan of
action.
3rd paragraph
• Most importantly, April is a positive influence
because she is motivated. April never gives up
on her dreams. She finds a way to make them a
reality. For example, April became pregnant
while in college, but she did not let that stop her
from graduating the next semester in
Accounting. April always meets her goal no
matter the obstacles.
Example Body Paragraph Including an
Closing Sentence:
To begin, Atlanta is my favorite vacation spot
because I got to visit the Coca Cola Company.
We toured different rooms that depicted
different times in the history of the Coca Cola
Company. For example, We visited a room that
looked like a long ago drugstore and was
shown how the cola was mixed by the
pharmacist. Visiting the plant was a highlight of
my trip.
Tips for Drafting
• For the first draft, only focus on getting your
ideas on paper in a logical order.
• Put a question mark over the word and in the
margin if you can’t remember how to spell a
word.
Tips for Drafting
• Once you finish,
1. Go back and look for outlawed words.
2. Replace them would better (descriptive)
words.
3. Use more examples or strengthen examples
(add more detail).
4. Use transitions to glue your ideas together.
Pair Goals
1. Orally rehearse- read your essay to your
partner; if you notice errors, stop & edit p 9
2. Use as guide for how to correctly use
editing marks as you all orally rehearse.
Revising P 21: THERE SHOULD BE NO COLORS, 3-5,
IN THE INTRO OR CLOSING!
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
outlawed words- Highlight in ANY COLOR (OL)
IN RED INK, CROSS OUT repeated words and attempt to replace
with other words.
Underline explanation with a red pen. If missing write “NO
EXPLANATION in RED in the margin”.
Underline examples with green. “NO EXAMPLE in GREEN in the
margin”.
Underline other/extra elaboration & CLOSING SENTENCES with
blue. If missing write NO CLOSE
Circle transitions with orange. They should have at least 7!
Circle with red pen & write (AWK) over Awkwardly written
sentence.
Circle words in purple that are used wrong in write (WC) over
them.
MRS. DALTON’S EDITING CHECKLIST (PEER EDIT)
USING A RED PEN/MARKER/COLORED PENCIL
•
1.
2.
3.
Use proofreading marks to find
Agreement problems- sub/verb, pronoun, ant
Tense problems- past tense, present tense, etc
Grammar problems- using a noun where an adjective
should be
4. Punctuation problems
5. Spelling errors
6. Word choice errors (wc)- homophones, homonyms,
term does not fit the meaning of the sentence
7. Revise as necessary (editing may cause you to have to
rewrite a total sentence for coherence)
PLEASE USE THE PROOFREADING MARKS ON P. 9 & 10
FINAL DRAFTS DUE
Wednesday, 11/18/2013
•
•
•
Please get writing folder from shelf.
RETURN TO PAIRS FROM YESTERDAY.
Make sure your name & your partner’s name is on your
proofreading list.
• RESUME PEER EDITING.
• ONCE, PEER EDITING COMPLETED,
1. HANDWRITERS CAN BEGIN TO WRITE FINAL DRAFT.
2. TYPERS CAN BEGIN A READING LOG OR BEGIN A NEAT
FINAL DRAFT TO TYPE.
Publish p. 12
• Publish using Microsoft Word or
handwrite
• MLA Format (if typed)
• Use spell check (if typed)
• Read essay carefully to find any typos or
convention problems
If typing, follow the following rules, p. 12:
• Heading (top left):
Name
English 8- 1/2, 4/5 or 6/7
Ms. Dalton
Oct. 10, 2012
•
•
•
•
(Place Title Here Centered)
Use Times New Roman
Use 12 point font & 1’’ margins
Double space
No pictures, color ink, frilly junk, etc.
Congratulations!
•
•
•
•
You have just completed:
Well-structured
Well -elaborated
LEAP-passing
ESSAY!
GRADING SCALE FOR EXPOSITORY
ESSAYS (This is the scale for a WFTF
rubric)
• A= 20-18
• B= 17-15
• C= 14-12
• D= 11-9
• F= 8 OR BELOW
Please put items in the following order :
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
Rubric (put # in the top right corner)
Final draft (2x test grade)
Rough draft (color-coded) (TSA)
Mrs. Dalton’s Editing Checklist
Mrs. Dalton’s Revising Checklist (Test)
Mapping packet (Test)
Other mapping (TOPIC SENT PACKET- STAPLED ON
LOOSE LEAF) = 5 grades
8. Staple in the above order & pass it to the front