Running head: AMERICAN BEAUTY
American Beauty: An Interpersonal Perspective
James Madison University
Kara Camuso, Muhammad Mehdi, Christina Panta, Angela Seretis, Alyssa Wolf
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Introduction
The 1999 film American Beauty is a modern take on the dysfunctional suburban family.
The movie revolves around the Burnham family, which consists of a cynical father Lester, a
materialistic mother Carolyn, and an insecure daughter Jane. As a whole, they are a loveless
family who seeks to fill their voids elsewhere. Throughout the film, Lester becomes infatuated
with his daughter’s new friend Angela, Carolyn has an affair with her rival realtor Buddy, and
Jane is intrigued by their new mysterious neighbor, Ricky (Mendes, 1999). All of these
interpersonal relationships intertwine to create a suspenseful movie with plot twists and a
surprise ending. Due to the convoluted storylines of each relationship, this is a great movie to
analyze from a communications perspective.
Conceptualizing Relational Communication
The characters within American Beauty all partake in interpersonal relationships.
Interpersonal relationships are unique, irreplaceable, and require an understanding of a partner’s
psychological makeup (Guerrero, Anderson & Afifi, 2014, p.4). For example, young lovers, Jane
and Ricky, experience each of these qualities of interpersonal relationships. They fall in love
within a short amount of time because they understand each other deeply. The couple mutually
influence one another in meaningful ways that create a unique connection. When Ricky invites
Jane over for the first time, they bond over a video of a grocery bag flying in the wind. This
fulfills relational goals, rather than instrumental goals, as they connect socially and emotionally
over this video. As a result, their special connection builds, and Jane and Ricky can soon
characterize their relationship as close. In a close relationship, couples feel emotional
attachment, need fulfillment, and irreplaceability. Jimenez and Voss (2014) define emotional
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attachment as an “emotional bond connecting an individual with a specific target” (p. 360).
Although their relationship escalates quickly, Ricky and Jane strongly feel this attachment.
Another commonality which furthers Ricky and Jane’s attachment is that they both have
unstable relationships with their parents. Jane has an avoidant relationship with her parents and
does not value their support, while Ricky has an uptight father who was in the military and looks
down on homosexual relationships. In one scene, Ricky’s father looks through the window and
thinks he sees his son giving oral sex to Lester in the garage. This is an example of a
misinterpretation, which causes his father to hit Ricky and kick him out of the house
permanently. In actuality, Ricky was selling marijuana to Lester, but these actions are
misinterpreted.
The relationship that Ricky and Lester share is considered a role relationship. Role
relationships are functional relationships that are characterized by behavioral interdependence.
Ricky is Lester’s drug dealer and depends on him for marijuana. Their relationship relies on
behavioral interdependence as Ricky’s behavior of selling marijuana affects Lester’s behavior of
feeling free and young again.
Communicating Identity
Identity is defined as “the person we think we are and communicate to others” (Guerrero
et al., 2014, p.26). In American Beauty, identity management is a key component of Carolyn’s
job as a realtor. In one particular scene, Carolyn is trying to sell a house that is in poor condition.
In an attempt to make the sale, she is forced to engage in emotional labor. Emotional labor is the
managing one’s feelings, particularly at work (Wharton, 1996). Realtors engage in a significant
amount of emotional labor in order to enhance the appeal of the home they are selling. This often
involves manipulating one’s identity, expressions, and personal feelings to sell a house. This
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need to put on a happy face, or enact display rules, creates a great deal of stress for realtors
(Wharton, 1996), and Carolyn is no exception. On the day of a showing, she tells herself right of
the bat that she “will sell this house today.” She repeats this mantra as she is cleaning the house
for the showing and preparing her own appearance. This preparation is part of her backstage
behavior where she can let her guard down and be her true self. When guests arrive, however,
Carolyn must put that guard back up and enact her front stage self, which involves portraying a
positive identity. She must change her emotions to make the house seem much better than it
really is. When confronted with face threatening acts, or “behaviors that detract from an
individual’s identity by threatening either positive or negative face desires,” (Guerrero et al,
2014, p.45) Carolyn must turn the situation around. As potential buyers complain about the
backyard, she tries to not get flustered by making light of the situation. While she points out the
nice parts of the yard, this is countered by a bald on-record remark. This type of facework
strategy is primarily about task and does not give consideration to saving the face of a
conversation partner. In Carolyn’s case, the potential buyer is extremely blunt with her
comments and says that the pool is just a “cement hole.” This catches Carolyn off guard and puts
her in a face threatening situation in which she cannot recover. The feedback she receives makes
it hard for her to bounce back. Wharton (1996) explains that realtor’s identities are shaped by
their interactions with clients and the feedback they obtain. In Carolyn’s case, the feedback she is
given at the showing is negative, making her feel discouraged. The scene ends with Carolyn
having a complete breakdown after the unsuccessful showing, an act reserved for the backstage.
The rejection and disappointment she feels contributes to her having a negative theory of self and
impacts her interpersonal relationships.
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Forces of Social Attraction
Attraction occurs when people are drawn together. There are four types of attraction:
physical, social, task, and sexual. Attraction in American Beauty is best exemplified through
Lester and Angela. When Lester sees Angela for the first time, he is immediately attracted to her
physically and sexually. He notices her while she is dancing at a basketball game. His mouth is
wide open, and he cannot keep his eyes off of her. He is drawn to her appearance first, and then
he imagines having sex with her on several occasions. In one instance, Jane is having a sleepover
with Angela at their house, and Lester dreams that Angela is in the bathtub covered in red rose
petals. Angela tells Lester that she wants him to bathe her. During this dream, Carolyn wakes
Lester up to yell at him for masturbating. This attraction to Angela makes him feel very aroused
while he is in close proximity to her. On the night of this sleepover, Angela tells Jane that she
thinks her dad is cute and that she would have sex with him if he started working out. He is so
deeply attracted to Angela that he actually starts running and working out to build himself into
the person that she would be attracted to.
In this relationship, Lester and Angela are both physically and sexually attracted to one
another based on the different factors such as appearance, age, and status. Attraction may differ
depending on demographic characteristics, such as sex differences. Men are more likely to be
attracted to physical appearance than women. This holds true in American Beauty, as Lester is
more attracted to Angela because of her looks while Angela seems to be attracted to him based
on status (he is a dad, he can provide, etc.). Lester also has recurring thoughts about Angela with
the motif of red rose petals, as red is associated with sexuality. It is known to symbolize affection
and reproduction. Due to the symbolism of the color, younger girls are seen as sexually attractive
if they are seen with something red (Schwarz, 2013). Thus, Lester associates red rose petals with
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Angela because it makes her seem more sexually attractive and increases his overall attraction
for her.
Managing Uncertainty and Expectancy Violations
Uncertainty is defined as “the inability to predict or explain someone’s attitudes and/or
behaviors” (Guerrero et al, 2014, p.81). Uncertainty reduction theory, or the perspective that
people desire to reduce uncertainty in interactions and relationships, stems from the concept of
uncertainty. In American Beauty, uncertainty reduction theory is exemplified in Jane and Ricky’s
initial encounters. Jane first encounters Ricky, when she notices him filming her as she walks
into her house. This clearly creates a lot of uncertainty for Jane, as she does not yet know Ricky
and he is engaging in odd behavior. For Ricky, watching Jane is a passive strategy in reducing
his uncertainty about her. Passive uncertainty reduction strategies involve observation and
making judgments about someone from afar. Here, Ricky is attempting to feel out who Jane is
before approaching her, but the way he does this is on the verge of stalking. The next day, Jane
and Angela see Ricky at school. Jane tells Angela that Ricky was filming her the night before,
and Angela divulges that she knows Ricky. This leads Jane to ask Angela about Ricky to reduce
her uncertainty about him, an active strategy. Active strategies in uncertainty reduction include
asking a third party for information about the person in question or observing how someone
reacts to a manipulated social environment. Angela expresses to Jane that Ricky is strange, and
Ricky approaches them while the two are having this exchange. Ricky now changes his
uncertainty reduction strategy from passive to interactive. Interactive strategies involve the
information seeker making direct contact with the target. This encounter between Ricky and
Jane, while awkward, is the beginning of their relationship. It makes Jane’s mind shift from the
use of uncertainty reduction theory to predicted outcome value theory. Predicted outcome value
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theory states, “(1) that people are motivated to maximize rewards and minimize costs and (2) that
people’s judgments about likely future outcomes guide their behavior” (Guerrero et al, 2014,
p.92). According to Sunnafrank (1990), predicted outcome value theory is a more valid way to
analyze uncertainty than uncertainty reduction theory because it deals with people’s self
motivations. Unlike uncertainty reduction theory, predicted outcome value theory believes that
people are only motivated to reduce uncertainty if they have a high outcome value. A high
outcome value means that a person is “perceived to be more rewarding than other potential
partners” (Guerrero et al, 2014, p. 92). While Jane’s encounter with Ricky is quite
uncomfortable, Jane is attracted to Ricky’s confidence. She tells Angela, “He's like so...
confident. That can't be real.” In this situation, Jane perceives a high outcome value in Ricky
because he has confidence that she does not recognize in other guys. As a result, she is motivated
to continue a relationship with him.
Changing Relationships
The staircase model of relationships was created to provide the preliminary information
necessary to identify the relational stages of “coming together” and “coming apart” (Avtgis,
1998). This model can be used to understand many of the relationships in American Beauty. In
Carolyn and Buddy’s short-lived relationship, their mutual real estate career is main reason for
their coming together, but their relationship quickly becomes sexual. During initiation, Carolyn
views Buddy as a successful, attractive man of power. During experimentation, Buddy agrees to
have lunch with Carolyn, where they learn about each other and bond. Although the couple does
engage in sexual intercourse, the two do not escalate past the experimentation stage in their
relationship. During the stages of coming apart, Carolyn and Buddy bypass all the steps and go
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straight to the termination stage once their affair is revealed to Lester. Because Buddy foresees
an expensive divorce, he ends things with Carolyn immediately.
The young couple, Jane and Ricky, seem to have better luck. During their initiation stage,
Ricky immediately finds Jane fascinating, but she is reluctant to fall for “a freak obsessing over
her.” During the experimenting stage, Ricky reveals his beliefs and shows her the video of the
plastic bag blowing in the wind. From here, the two disclose their personal secrets and begin to
bond. During the intensifying stage, Ricky and Jane become attached to one another, which
causes conflict in Jane’s relationship with Angela. In the end, Jane chooses Ricky over her best
friend. With Angela out of the picture, the audience can assume that Ricky and Jane will reach
the integrating and bonding stages, but the movie ends before one can see this relationship either
flourish or fail.
The concept of turning points is also evident throughout the movie. Turning points are
occurrences in relationships which cause change, and a turning point approach provides a
framework for assessing communication and meaning in relationships (Dailey, 2012). A big
turning point in the film takes place in Lester and Angela's pseudo relationship. Throughout most
of the film, Angela seems only to be an obsession for Lester. Being an attention seeker, Angela
enjoys his interest and she feeds him with flirtation and mild touch. The event that changes their
simply flirting relationship, however, is when Angela and Jane have a fight about Ricky. Jane
essentially leaves Angela for Ricky, and Angela is left sad and alone. When Lester approaches
Angela in her solemn state, Angela wants to be told that she’s beautiful. Lester complies, and she
begins to seduce him, which surprises both Lester and the audience. Yet, an even greater turning
point occurs when Lester discovers Angela is a virgin and immediately stops pursuing her. She is
all he ever wanted, yet this piece of information makes him stop her and control himself. Instead,
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he chooses to just talk to her rather than engage in sexual intercourse. This turning point quickly
ends the sexual nature of their relationship.
Self Disclosure
Self-disclosure is the act of revealing information about oneself to others. In American
Beauty, the amount that each character discloses depends on the nature of each relationship. For
example, the relationship between Carolyn and Buddy is quite new and includes a significant
amount of self-disclosure. Their relationship is moving forward very fast, and their disclosure is
heavy in depth but not in breadth. This means that they do not talk about many topics in the
conversations (breadth), but delve into certain topics at a very deep level (depth). They talk
deeply about real estate and being successful, but do not proceed to many other topics. There is
also not much frequency in their disclosure, but when they do disclose to one another, it is for a
long period of time, such when they went on their date. The valence, the positive or negative
tone of the disclosure, is mostly positive and the veracity, or the deception or honesty in the
disclosure, is truthful. This eventually leads to liking amongst them and ultimately a romantic
affair.
Another example of self-disclosure in the film is between Lester and Ricky. While they
seem like an unlikely pair, Lester and his teenage neighbor Ricky become friends when Lester
finds out that Ricky is a drug dealer. Their first instance of disclosure is while they are smoking
marijuana behind a restaurant. They begin by disclosing mainly with breadth, but as their
relationship progresses, they eventually add depth into their conversations. Similar to Carolyn
and Buddy, their disclosure patterns are not frequent but long in duration.
Topic avoidance and secret keeping is also prevalent in American Beauty. During the
second half of the film, Carolyn is having a romantic affair with Buddy. She does not reveal this
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to Lester, but he eventually discovers their relationship. This particular secret is characterized as
an individual secret as the information was held exclusively by Carolyn and not anyone else in
her family. Though it did not seem as though she cared about the relationship between she and
Lester, she kept this secret in order to protect what was left of their relationship. In addition to
this secret, there were also many topics that were avoided by the couple. One such example is the
attraction that Lester has for Angela. Carolyn can sense that Lester is attracted to Angela, but the
two do not talk about it. This type of topic avoidance can be dangerous and hurtful in
relationships. In their study on topic avoidance, Dailey and Palomares (2004) found that
“avoiding the current relationship's concerns predicted low levels of satisfaction across all
relational types” (p.490). However, if carried out politely, the researchers found that topic
avoidance can have positive relational impacts. This is not the case in the relationship between
Lester and Carolyn, which slowly de-escalates throughout the movie and is eventually
terminated with Lester’s death.
Affection, Immediacy, and Social Support
Jane and Ricky have each struggled in their relationships with their parents, so they turn
to one another for affection, immediacy, and social support. At first, Jane does not understand
Ricky’s behavior, as he is always filming her, but she starts to take an interest in him when he
compliments her and tells her that she is interesting. This piques Jane’s curiosity, and Jane offers
to walk home with Ricky one day after school. They end up at Ricky’s house, and they watch his
films. As stated earlier, Ricky shows Jane his favorite video of a plastic bag moving around in
the wind, and he tells her that this film has put perspective into his life. He says that there is no
reason to ever be afraid, and he uses this film to remind him that there is so much more in this
world. Jane shows support by sitting there and listening to him disclose. This is consistent with
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Floyd’s (2014) findings that empathetic listeners show affection by demonstrating immediacy,
helping the recipient feel better or understood, and investing their time by listening to the
recipient. Jane and Ricky’s interaction contains several nonverbal immediacy behaviors, or
actions that signal warmth and availability. Particularly, proxemics, haptics, and chronemics are
demonstrated. While watching his films, Jane sits in the intimate zone with Ricky (proxemics)
and touches his hand and kisses him (haptics). Jane spends so much time with him watching the
videos that she loses track of time (chronemics) and forgets to go home for dinner. These
immediacy behaviors are indicators of their budding relationship.
Throughout the rest of the movie, Jane and Ricky support each other in the bad
relationships they have with their parents. They do this while also showing affection, or fondness
and positive regard for one another. Even though Angela tells Jane that she should stay away
from Ricky, Jane realizes that they are compatible. She accepts Ricky for who he is and shows
him affection by being there by his side. Being neighbors also helps their closeness because they
are constantly in close proximity. They use verbal immediacy throughout their relationship to
disclose information about themselves and their home life. In one instance, Ricky shows Jane his
dad’s gun case and a plate from World War II even though his dad “would kill him if he ever
knew he went in there”. This shows that he thinks it is important to share things with her even
though it could get him in trouble. In every interaction, they use nonverbal immediacy by having
eye contact, or oculesics, when talking with each other. They also stare into each other’s eyes in
silence for a while to display relational closeness. The affection, immediacy, and social support
that they give to each other shows how important they are to one another, especially since they
do not receive these entities at home.
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Love and Attachment
Infatuation seems to be an infectious feeling in American Beauty. Infatuation is to
superficially have lust for somebody. From the moment Lester sees Angela dance at the
basketball halftime show, he cannot get her out of his head. He thinks to himself, “In the first
time in 20 years, he’s woken up from his coma and is just straight living again.” He wants
Angela to himself and is willing to do anything for her, from eavesdropping on conversations to
beginning a workout regimen. Infatuation is also present in Buddy and Carolyn’s relationship.
Because of his success, Buddy is the object of Carolyn’s affection. She is infatuated with how he
upholds himself in life and his career, and as soon as he gives her the time of day, she jumps on
it. In comparison to her husband Lester, Buddy actually cares about his image. Buddy also gives
Carolyn the attention she has desperately been desiring.
Another instance of infatuation is in the relationship of Ricky and Jane. The two seem to
be mutually infatuated with each other, and are beginning to actually love each other. Initially
Ricky is infatuated with Jane because she is different, and he films her all of the time. At first,
Jane is unsure of her feelings for Ricky, but as soon as they begin to self-disclose, she falls for
him. Jane ends up choosing Ricky over her best friend and decides that he is all she needs. At the
end of the film, Ricky persuades Jane to run off with him to New York because they only need
each other in life.
In addition to infatuation, different love styles are present throughout the relationships in
American Beauty. Love styles are ideologies people hold about love and are rarely mutually
exclusive. Most people share qualities from different styles, while one or two styles tend to be
most prominent (Hetsroni, 2012). Lester and Angela mutually engage in a ludus style of love, or
game playing love. They are playful towards each other, and their lust for one another is a game.
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Lester and Carolyn’s relationship is marked by the pragma love style. They may not seem
affectionate during most of the film, but at the very end you can tell that they did love one
another when Lester is looking at the family photo and Carolyn is crying in his closet. This love
was practical in that they seemed to only be together for their daughter Jane, which was their
common goal.
Communicating Sexuality
Sexuality is communicated constantly throughout the movie. Angela, Lester, Jane, Ricky
and Carolyn all demonstrate sexual interactions. Angela regularly talks about having sex and her
sexual history. Lester is aroused by the constant thought of Angela and is flirtatious towards her.
Jane is attracted to Ricky and communicates this through taking her top off in front of Ricky and
making the first sexual move. Ricky communicates sexually by having a casual conversation
with Jane fully naked. Lastly, Carolyn communicates sexually by flirting with her rival
competitor, Buddy, and having an affair.
A relational orientation toward sex can be described as a partner having sexual
intercourse to express love and affection. Even in the media, couples exhibit romantic love
through sexual appeal (Huang, 2004). Jane and Ricky resembled this type of orientation because
they genuinely love and care about each other. Even though Lester and Angela did not partake in
sexual intercourse, they have more of a recreational orientation toward sex. The recreational
orientation is viewing sexual intercourse as fun and exciting. Angela and Lester both do not want
a relationship, but they simply find sexual pleasure from each other. Lester also uses a
tremendous amount of indirect nonverbal cues towards Angela because they protect him from
rejection and looking stupid by being attracted to a seventeen year old.
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Scheflen’s model of courtship explains the development of nonverbal behaviors inducing
sexual interest (Guerrero et al, 2014). First is the attention stage. In this stage, Jane is presenting
herself in the best possible light, and Ricky can see through videotaping her that she has a great
demeanor and is down to earth. The next stage is courtship and readiness. In this stage, Ricky
determines if Jane is approachable for interaction by constantly staring at her, and in return she
does the same. The next stage is positioning. In this stage, Ricky and Jane seem to always be
together and talking with each other; therefore, they are showing others that they are a couple.
The following stage is invitations and sexual arousal. This stage first occurs when Jane and
Ricky are both watching a video together, and Jane kisses Ricky on the cheek. That kiss was
their first sexual experience together. The last stage is resolution. In the last stage, sexual
interaction occurs between the couple, and Ricky and Jane are now officially dating.
At the end of the movie, Lester and Angela reveal that they both are physically attracted
to each other. They start kissing, and things get heated within a short amount of time. Lester
unbuttons Angela’s shirt, and it seems they are about to have sexual intercourse. This fast pace of
sexual activity can be described as a rapid-involvement pace. Rapid-involvement pace means
there is a high level of physical arousal, and sexual intercourse is likely to occur after a first date
or soon later on. In this pace, sexual intimacy comes before psychological intimacy. On the other
hand, Jane and Ricky’s sexual behavior has a gradual-involvement. Gradual-involvement
couples let sexual activity increase as the relationship develops and becomes more intimate. As
Jane and Ricky get closer, so do their sexual activities.
Maintaining Relationships
Within American Beauty, there are many examples of relational maintenance taking
place. Each relationship, however, displays a different amount of relationship maintenance.
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Relational maintenance refers to “the promotion of relational satisfaction and longevity”
(Guerrero et al., 2014, p. 243). In relationships, there are three ways that characterize
maintenance behaviors; prosocial and antisocial behavior, the modality of the relationship, and
whether these behaviors are strategic or routine.
Lester and Carolyn’s relationship is characterized by antisocial maintenance behavior.
These are behaviors that are negative and involve threats and distancing oneself from a relational
partner. This is opposed to prosocial behaviors such as positivity, openness, and task sharing. As
the movie progresses, Carolyn slowly distances herself from Lester and becomes romantically
involved with Buddy. This type of maintenance behavior is not helpful to relationships, as Lester
and Carolyn’s relationship falls apart near the end of the movie.
Strategic and routine maintenance behaviors are strategies used by relational partners
when they are trying to preserve their relationship. The difference between these two behaviors
mainly deals with intentionality. Similar to prosocial behaviors, these maintenance behaviors are
designed to prolong the relationship. Dainton and Aylor (2002) found that relational satisfaction
is a strong predictor of commitment. Thus, if these maintenance behaviors are not utilized, the
relationship can deteriorate, as was the case with Lester and Carolyn.
Coping with Conflict
According to Guerrero et al. (2014), conflict is defined as “a disagreement between two
interdependent people who perceive that they have incompatible goals” (p.271). Conflict usually
occurs in close relationships, and the best example in American Beauty is between Carolyn and
Lester. One particular scene of conflict occurred at the dinner table. Lester and Carolyn are
yelling about everything they dislike about each other, and Lester even throws a plate at the wall
because of his frustration. The spillover effect explains why Lester and Carolyn do not have a
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healthy relationship with their daughter Jane. The spillover effect occurs when parents engage in
dysfunctional conflict, and as a result, it transcends into having a bad parenting style.
Segal and Smith (2014) explain that conflict arises from relational differences that are
both small and big. There are six different styles of conflict, but the most relevant one in
American Beauty is competitive fighting. Competitive fighting occurs with Lester because he
always wants to have the power and tries to control the interactions between him and Carolyn.
Lester wants dominance and power for once, and he confronts everything he is unhappy about
with Carolyn. As a result, negative reciprocity occurs because after Lester yells at Carolyn,
Carolyn fires right back. In Lester and Carolyn’s conflicts, they experience flaming as well, or
“hostile expressions of emotions” (Guerrero et al., 2014, p. 283). This can be demonstrated
through Lester and Carolyn name-calling and insulting each other. Another conflict strategy is
avoidance, which involves people dismiss voicing their opinions and complaints all together.
This is known as the chilling effect, and Ricky partakes in this strategy with his father, Frank.
Ricky does not express his opinion or complaints to his father when they get in a fight; he simply
says “yes sir” or “do not give up on me sir.” Ricky just wants to please his father, and does not
want any conflicts to occur.
Gottman’s four horseman of the apocalypse are also seen throughout the movie. The first
horseman is complaints and criticisms, and this occurs throughout Lester and Carolyn’s fights.
The most common type of complaint is about behavior. Carolyn complains how Lester quit his
job, and Lester complains about how Carolyn is obsessed with having materialistic items. The
next horseman is contempt and disgust which is also seen in Lester and Carolyn’s relationship.
An example would be Lester throwing a plate at the wall because he cannot deal with Carolyn.
Next is defensiveness, and Carolyn and Lester both become aggressive in their arguments and try
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to protect themselves in order to stop the other person from attacking them. The last horseman is
stonewalling, in which couples no longer try to fix their problems. In the case of Lester and
Carolyn, Lester starts working out more and smoking marijuana in order to focus on what he
truly wants, Angela. Carolyn starts having an affair with another man to get her mind off of
Lester. Lester and Carolyn have both moved on, and avoid each other at every cause. Their
relationship is simply for show, since they no longer have any real affection for each other.
Dominance and Power Plays in Relationships
Power is defined as “an individual’s ability to control or influence others to do what the
individual wants as well as a person’s ability to resist influence” (Guerrero et al., p. 298).
Colonel Frank Fitts has power over his son, Ricky, which is demonstrated when Frank wants a
urine sample from him. While he knocks on Ricky’s door, Frank yells that he knows better than
to have the door locked in the house. When Ricky opens the door and is asked for the sample, his
father tries to say something else to Ricky, but he is hesitant and says “goodnight.” Frank is an
authoritarian parent because he tries to monitor Ricky’s behavior. The authoritarian style of
parenting is characterized by parents being “high in demandingness/control but low in
acceptance/warmth” (Sartaj, 2010, p.49). Frank makes Ricky take a urine sample every six
months to make sure he is still clean, but does not have much warmth as a father. When Frank
hesitates in their interaction, it seems he wants to say something nice to Ricky, but he physically
cannot. Frank was in the military so he has strict standards for Ricky to abide by such as taking a
urine sample, leaving his door unlocked, and staying away from his gun cabinet.
Another place where power is seen in the film is when Frank finds out that Ricky was in
his gun cabinet. After Frank founds this out, he runs into Ricky’s room and uses his power
verbally and nonverbally. He starts calling Ricky a “little bastard,” and he hits him multiple
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times. He tries to justify his actions towards Ricky by saying, “this is for your own good boy”
and “you have no respect for other people’s things, and no respect for authority.” His father is
using his dominance to maintain influence over Ricky through spatial behavior, touch, and voice.
He uses spatial behavior by getting in Ricky’s face to yell at him. This shows power because he
is up close and personal with Ricky. Frank also violates the norms of touch, which shows Ricky
not to do that again. When Frank raises his voice, power is seen in his tone, which could be
intimidating to Ricky. These acts of dominance cause Ricky to believe that their relationship is
not healthy.
According to the prerogative principal, Frank is ruining his relationship with his son by
violating norms. Ricky knows his father’s actions are wrong, but he deals with these actions by
using ingratiation, or kissing up, to his father. He starts saying things like “thank you for trying
to teach me structure and discipline, don’t give up on me dad.” He wants to seem likable to his
father to end the verbal abuse. His father uses his power to influence Ricky’s behaviors and
actions, but it actually hurts the relationship to a point where Ricky resents his father.
Relational Transgressions
Various forms of deception are seen throughout American Beauty. These forms include
lies, equivocation, concealment, exaggeration, and understatement. The two most prominent
forms of deception in the movie are lies and exaggeration. Throughout the film, Angela is full of
lies, or fabrications of the truth. She constantly tells stories and brags about her sex life, and
while some people at school call her a whore, she doesn’t seem affected by their comments. At
the end of the movie, however, she reveals to Lester that she is a virgin. This shows that all of
her sex stories were made up and demonstrates that she just loved the attention these lies brought
to her self-esteem.
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Exaggeration is also shown throughout the movie. Exaggerations are messages that
stretch the truth or modify the extent of the truth (Guthrie, 2013). Lester and Carolyn’s
relationship is loveless and full of passive aggression. In a conversation about his work, Lester
asks Carolyn, “You don't think it's kinda weird and fascist?” in which Carolyn responds,
“Possibly, but you don't want to be unemployed.” Next, Lester follows up with exaggeration by
saying, “Oh well, all right, let's all sell our souls and work for Satan because it's more convenient
that way.” Lester doesn’t necessarily mean he would do what he said, but it is an exaggeration of
his feelings. In another scene, Carolyn comments on Lester smoking weed by saying, “Well, I
see you're smoking pot now. I think using psychotropic drugs is a very positive example to set
for our daughter,” in which Lester replies, “You're one to talk, you bloodless, money-grubbing
freak.” Lester and Carolyn’s have resentment towards each other, but Lester does not think of
Carolyn as awfully as he leads on. He does still love her the slightest bit. In another instance,
Carolyn tells Lester to not be weird at her work party, in which Lester replies, “Okay honey, I
won't be weird. I'll be whatever what you want me to be.” He then gives her a huge kiss and
turns to Buddy to tell him that they have a healthy relationship. Clearly this statement is an
exaggeration of the truth, as they barely function together as a couple. These are just a few
incidences of several in which the couple exaggerates just to get on each other’s nerves.
Relationship Repair
Lester and Carolyn clearly have an unhealthy marriage. From the start of the film, it is
apparent that their marriage is marked by dissatisfaction and unhappiness, although they ignore
this reality. According to Whiffen, Foot, and Thomas (2007), this disregard for their marital
problems is an indicator of self-silencing. Self-silencing involves a couple suppressing their
feelings of dissatisfaction to maintain relationship harmony and is highly associated with
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depression in married couples (Whiffen et al., 2007). This depression is exemplified in Lester
and Carolyn’s relationship, who are both extremely unhappy with their lives. Their marital
problems start to become vocalized, however, when Carolyn finds Lester masturbating in his
sleep. This causes Carolyn to confront Lester about their marriage. This confrontation can be
explained by the Model of Accommodation, which explains how people respond to relationship
issues. This model highlights destructive and constructive processes which help or hinder a
couple’s ability to mend their relationship. It explains that people are more likely use
constructive processes when troubles arise if their relationship is committed and satisfying, and
destructive processes if their relationship is uncommitted and unsatisfying. Although their
relationship has been marked by commitment for numerous years, Lester and Carolyn’s
dissatisfaction with their relationship causes them to use destructive behaviors. They often
passively let their relationship get worse, which is a destructive behavior called neglect. Instead
of trying to mend their problems, they neglect their issues and watch their relationship crumble.
While the two have been engaging in neglect behaviors and self-silencing for years, this
bedroom incident has brought their problems to the forefront. Carolyn finally wants to talk about
their dissolving relationship, but their exchange is ridden with destructive behaviors. First, Lester
uses antisocial communication to combat Carolyn’s desire to talk. Antisocial communication is
hostile and disruptive communication that involves insults, yelling, and revenge seeking. Lester
insults Carolyn by saying, “Well excuse me, but some us still have blood pumping through our
veins,” insinuating that Carolyn is living a robotic life. With this and other insults, Carolyn
threatens that she will divorce Lester, a destructive process called exit behavior. Exit behaviors
include threatening to break up with a relational partner, divorce a relational partner, or move out
of a shared home. Lester fires back at Carolyn’s threat with more antisocial communication
AMERICAN BEAUTY
21
behavior—threatening revenge. He says that if they get divorced, he will be painted as the
supportive husband and be entitled to half of her money. This quiets Carolyn, and the argument
ends. In this encounter, their problems are not being resolved, but pushed forward and neglected
once again. Their dissatisfying relationship makes them continue to use these destructive
processes, and eventually motivates Carolyn to have an affair with Buddy.
Ending Relationships
The relationship Lester and Carolyn have established is disintegrating and coming to an
end. There are many factors that can lead to the end of relationships according to Guerrero et al.
(2014), including infidelity, incompatibility, alcohol and drugs, the partners growing apart, a loss
of love, and inequity in family obligations. Lester and Carolyn undergo many of these
throughout the de-escalation of their relationship.
Carolyn exhibits infidelity in her relationship with Lester when she has a affair with
Buddy. Though they do not divorce, Lester looks to pursue his own extramarital affair with
Angela and expand on the betrayal in the relationship. Extramarital affairs have a strong impact
on the destruction of relationships and divorce. Sexual infidelity is also highly associated with
emotional infidelity. Sexual infidelity refers to sexual relations outside of a romantic
relationship, and emotional infidelity refers to seeking warmth and emotional support from
someone else. Despite the common belief that men and women perceive infidelity differently,
Carpenter (2009) found that both sexes believe that sexual and emotional infidelity are equally
hurtful. In her affair with Buddy, Carolyn committed both sexual and emotional infidelity.
Another factor that led to the de-escalation of Lester and Carolyn’s relationship was a
loss of love between them. They both experience chronic dissatisfaction, which is a history of
discontent within a relationship. This discontent led Carolyn to seek love in a relationship with
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Buddy and Lester to become infatuated with Angela. Finally, the inequity in their lives heavily
impacts their relationship. As Lester is going through his mid-life crisis, he quits his job and
starts working at a fast food restaurant, which leaves Carolyn with the responsibility of providing
financial support for the family. These factors led Carolyn to intent to kill Lester and end the
relationship. The catastrophe theory can explain the end of this relationship as it suggests that
relationships do not necessarily end gradually, they can end very suddenly.
Conclusion
Through an analysis of each chapter, it becomes clear that elements within interpersonal
communication are quite prevalent throughout American Beauty. The film exemplifies many
relational concepts through the lives of Lester, Carolyn, Buddy, Jane, Ricky, Angela, and Frank.
The relationships among these characters are very complex, and thus countless relational
processes are displayed within their everyday lives. While this is a fictional movie, relational
processes like these occur in real life contexts. Viewing this film can introduce the audience to
the intricate world of interpersonal communication.
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23
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