Becoming a Mentor
What is a mentor?
A mentor is someone who can help their mentee through an important transition in:





Learning: helping them to acquire knowledge, skills and understanding
Coping or coming to terms with a difficult or new situation, for example
induction, integration into the organisation or a new role
Resolving a problem or issue
Career development, including advice on personal skills, image and profile
Personal growth: increasing confidence through helping them to take
responsibility for themselves, their careers and their own development.
The relationship between a mentor and mentee should be personal and confidential,
and is different and distinct from a relationship between a superior and subordinate.
A mentor is someone who:





Cares about the mentee and their growth and development
Provides insights into the learner’s situation and helps the mentee make the
most of that situation and avoid pitfalls
Is prepared to share knowledge and experience that is of use to the learner –
without suggesting theirs is the right way to do something
Accepts the mentee as an individual, with their own personality, strengths and
weaknesses
Recognises their status as an equal in the mentoring relationship, even if
there is a different relationship in the day to day hierarchy outside the
mentoring process.
Through the mentoring relationship a mentor is helping someone to raise their own
self-awareness, think about what they consider to be important and to focus on the
future. Mentors challenge and support mentees as appropriate, and will help
mentees take control of and responsibility for their lives. A good mentor will want to
ensure that the mentee gains confidence and independence as a result of mentoring,
and is able to go forward independently from the relationship.
“Mentoring involves primarily listening with empathy, sharing experience (usually
mutually), professional friendship, developing insight through reflection, being a
sounding board, encouraging.” David Clutterbuck
Mentoring provides development opportunities for mentors, and can bring great
personal satisfaction. Being a mentor can improve leadership skills and provides the
1
opportunity to learn from different approaches and different ways of thinking. It can
be challenging, inspiring and enlightening.
The mentoring relationship
The nature of the mentoring relationship will vary according to the people involved,
the purpose of the mentoring, and the particular mentoring context.
Contextual factors that impact on the nature of the mentoring relationship include:






How formal the mentoring arrangements are
The difference in age, experience, ability and influence of the mentor and
mentee
The length of the relationship
The level of rapport between the mentor and mentee
The particular level and type of support that the mentor can offer and the
mentee requires
The degree of commitment by both mentee and mentor to achieving change
through the mentoring partnership
Research suggests that certain factors seem to be present across the spectrum of
effective mentoring relationships. Building and maintaining effective mentoring
relationships works best when there is:
Clarity of purpose:
The mentee needs to have specific and or / individual learning objectives –
something they wish to achieve or resolve or an outcome they aspire to.
Rapport:
Alignment of values between mentor and mentee can help to build and sustain the
relationship. But it is useful to recognise that challenge and difference in perspective
may be lacking if values are too well aligned. The ability to build rapport
encompasses the ability to accept and value difference.
Role and role boundaries:
Understanding the role of the mentor helps to ensure that appropriate behaviour is
used. Mentors need to know the boundary of the mentoring role - and when to refer
a mentee on if they require support that is outside of the role of developmental
mentoring.
Voluntary:
The relationship will work best when both mentor and mentee want to be there.
Competence:
Both the mentor and the mentee need to bring some skills and attributes to the
relationship – communication skills to articulate ideas and issues, the ability to listen
and to challenge constructively, the ability to be honest both with themself and the
2
mentee, to reflect on what is said during and beyond the dialogue, and to
demonstrate empathy.
Behaviour:
The more directive the mentor behaviour, and the more passive the behaviour of the
mentee, the less successful the mentoring relationship will be.
Review:
The mentor and mentee should take time to review the relationship – this increases
openness and commitment and provides opportunities to enhance the mentoring
relationship.
Evaluation:
Evaluation is used as a stimulus for the mentor and mentee to examine what they
are doing and what they have learned.
The expectations and behaviour of both the mentee and the mentor will evolve
throughout the relationship and as a consequence of the mentoring interaction and
thus the nature of the relationship will change and develop over the duration of the
mentoring arrangement.
The mentoring timeframe
Mentoring relationships, while varying in duration, tend to move through a number of
‘phases’ as they mature. This is sometimes depicted as the three stages illustrated
below.
A period when the relationship begins, rapport is developed,
‘trust’ is developed and a shared understanding of the general
purpose and the parameters of the relationship are established
The relationship becomes more purposeful and has a clearer
sense of direction
A period when the relationship draws to a close and either
ends or shifts to a friendship / supportive colleague
relationship
A measure of the quality and effectiveness of the mentoring relationship is the
management of each stage of the relationship and of the transition between stages.
3
Megginson et al 2006 suggest that more formal developmental mentoring schemes
supported by the organisation tend to follow five stages, as outlined below.
1. Build Rapport
The mentor and mentee explore whether they are able to work together. Developing
rapport depends upon:




How the mentor and mentee perceive alignment of their personal values
the level of mutual respect
developing a shared understanding of the broad objectives of the relationship
reaching mutual agreement about the roles and behaviour appropriate to the
mentoring relationship – and setting this out in the form of a relationship
agreement or contract.
Rapport is achieved through dialogue – “an open exchange that relaxes the typical
barriers between comparative strangers. If rapport does not occur it is incumbent on
both parties to explore the issue, rather than pretend it does not exist.” ( Megginson
et al 2006). As a result the mentor and mentee may decide not to move forward with
the relationship – or alternatively go with it if they decide there is valuable learning
potential from working with someone different.
2. Setting Direction
During this stage the mentor and mentee:



clarify and refine what the mentoring relationship should achieve for both the
mentee and the mentor
link medium and long-term goals to the day to day context
continue to build rapport as the mentor and mentee explore responses to the
issues raised.
3. Progression
This ‘making progress’ stage typically lasts longer than the first two stages. The
mentor and mentee:



Are comfortable with challenging each other’s perceptions
Explore issues more deeply
Experience mutual learning
The mentee assumes more of the lead in managing the relationship and the
mentoring process.
4. Winding up
This occurs when the mentee:
4


has achieved a large part of his or her goals
feels equipped with plans, insights and confidence to continue the journey
alone.
Continuing the mentoring relationship beyond this point can result in dependency or
counter-dependency - both unhealthy scenarios. Managing how the relationship
ends is also an important consideration.
“….planning for a good ending is critical if both parties are to emerge from the
relationship with a positive perception of the experience…reviewing and celebrating
what has been achieved is… more effective than winding down (drifting apart).”
(Megginson et al, 2006)
5. Moving On
This is the stage where mentor and mentee move on. The relationship may be
reformed into friendship.
An indication of the relative time that a mentoring relationship may progress through
the five stages is shown below. The time line also depicts the development of the
relationship to a point of maximum learning and added value and beyond.
Intensity of learning
and value added
1
2
3
4
Source: Megginson et al 2006
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
5
Time
Key
Building rapport
Setting direction
Progression
Winding up
Moving on
An effective mentor will be monitoring and reflecting on the overall mentoring journey
and will recognise when transition between stages is happening or needs to be
managed. Each individual mentoring meeting is also a ‘journey’ and the mentor is
supporting each conversation with an appropriate ‘process’ or ‘structure’.
5
The mentoring process
The purpose of the mentoring process is to create an environment in which the
mentee can reflect on and address issues related to management of situations and
relationships, and issues of career and personal development.
A learning conversation can be seen to have a number of components –
reaffirmation, issue identification, building mutual understanding, exploring potential
solutions and final check or summary.
A number of models have been developed by experienced practitioners to give
shape to a mentoring session. Information about some of these different models is
available on the Mentoring website as separate documents within:
Tools for effective mentoring
A 3-stage model of the mentoring process
The 5 Cs Model of Mentoring
The 7Cs Model of Mentoring
Using the Learning Cycle to facilitate learning in Mentoring
The information for each model highlights when the approach would be useful,
explains the different components of the approach and suggests dialogue and
questions that are appropriate to the different elements of the mentoring
conversation.
There is no one best model – and different models lend themselves to different kinds
of mentoring conversations. As a mentor it can be helpful to become familiar with
different approaches to enhance the range of ways in which you can respond to the
needs of the mentee.
What are the attributes of an effective mentor?
From the perspective of the mentee, the following attributes have been identified as
contributing to effective mentoring relationships. The mentor:





Is someone who is respected and trusted by the mentee to maintain personal
and professional confidentiality
Listens without judgement or criticism and reflects on what is being said
Is someone who is interested in and prepared to invest time in the mentee
Is someone who is knowledgeable and open, and prepared to share their own
experiences
Challenges, offers advice – but does not give advice
6


Is someone who encourages, and while they can be critical, is always
positive/constructive
Has a positive and realistic outlook.
The key to good mentoring is being able to listen actively to the mentee and to offer
advice if requested – but not telling the mentee what to do. It is the mentee who
should make decisions, not the mentor.
A mentor can help a mentee to:











Understand behaviour appropriate to a particular situation or context
Understand the workings of the institution
Acquire an open flexible attitude to learning
Understand different and conflicting ideas
Be aware of institutional politics
Overcome setbacks and obstacles
Acquire technical expertise
Gain knowledge and skills
Develop personally
Adjust to change
Reflect on personal values
Getting started as a Mentor:
Mentoring is a common, often unrecognised, helping activity. Effective mentoring
requires certain personal qualities and skills.
How will you know that you are ready to be a mentor?
You can address this in a number of different ways. You can:






Recognise and reflect on mentoring you do already
Talk to other mentors
Talk to people you have already mentored for feedback
Consider the differences between mentoring and other learning and
leadership roles and activities
Consider the differences between mentoring and other ways of helping eg.
coaching, appraisal, counselling
Reflect on your own experience of being a mentee.
You can also address this question by thinking about your attributes using the list
below. Do you have:



A range of experience
A variety of context based skills
A sense of commitment to the institution, its values and vision
7







Good listening skills
Well-developed interpersonal skills
An ability to relate well with people who want to learn
An interest in helping and developing others
An open, flexible mind, and a flexible attitude,
Do you recognise your own need for support?
Time and willingness to develop relationships with mentees?
If you have these attributes then you are ready to mentor!
Developing as a mentor
The mentoring role is very rewarding – and provides opportunity for significant
learning for the mentor.
Mentors often need to deepen their own personal development if they are going to
be able to meet the needs of a range of mentees in a flexible and learner-centred
way.
Whether as part of more formal support or self-managed development, mentors can
reflect, review and record to enhance their development and growth as a mentor.
Reflection is crucial for:



Remembering what occurred
Considering one’s own and mentee’s actions and reaction
Highlighting areas for planning and acting for both mentor and mentee.
Review is about:



Making sense of the meeting when out of the bustle of the session itself
Planning what to do next time the pair meet
Opening oneself up to the views of others (the mentee, supervisors or fellow
mentors).
Recording is not so universally practised, but writing down thoughts about meetings:



Allows for a deep reflection on process
In itself leads to new insights and choices in a way that simply thinking about
the relationship does not
Provides raw material for supervision and accreditation.
Resources:
The pro-forma in Appendix One provides a basic template that may be used to
support the mentoring relationship. The form can be used to:

Undertake some initial thinking before you start a mentoring relationship
8



prepare for individual mentoring sessions
capture actions from mentoring sessions
review the progress of a mentoring relationship.
Appendix Two provides a checklist that you can use periodically with your mentee to
review how the mentoring relationship is working.
References:
Alred, G., Garvey, B., Smith, R., Mentoring Pocketbook, 2 nd Edition, 2006,
Management Pocketbooks Ltd.
Daloz, L.A., Mentor – Guiding the Journey of Adult Learners, 2nd Edition, 1998,
Jossey-Bass Inc.
Megginson, D., Clutterbuck, D., Garvey, B., Stokes, P., Mentoring in Action, 2 nd
Edition, 2006, Kogan Page Ltd.
Pegg, M.,The Art of Mentoring, 2003, Management Books 2000 Ltd.
9
10
Appendix One
Mentoring meeting pro forma
Date of meeting:
Objectives of the meeting: What do you hope to achieve. Why are you having the meeting?
Agenda: What are you going to discuss?
Action Plan: (including by whom and when)
Date, time and place of next meeting:
Feedback: What has gone well in the meeting / is going well in the mentoring. What are you
benefitting from, what do you find useful?
What would make it even better?
11
12
Appendix Two
Mentoring Phases Checklist
This is a useful checklist for the mentor and mentee to use periodically in order to step back and look at how the
mentoring relationship is working and what stage it has reached. It is particularly useful if the mentor and
mentee share their views and openly discuss areas of disparity.
Strongly
Agree
Building Rapport
We have established a good understanding of each other
I feel relaxed in our meetings
We understand and respect each other’s views and feelings
We respect the confidences we share
I feel confident in the relationship
Direction Setting
We have established clear goals for the relationship
We have agreed the objectives, a broad route towards them
and ways of measuring progress
We are beginning to surface differences of opinion and to
work through them constructively
The mentee is comfortable challenging the mentor
Progress making
The mentee is increasingly setting our meeting agenda
Responsibility for managing the relationship is resting
increasingly with the mentee
We have celebrated achievement of goals and milestones
We have a positive, supportive, nurturing relationship
The mentee is much more confident to cope with new or
demanding situations than when our relationship began
Winding up / moving on
We have largely achieved all the goals we set for our
relationship
The mentor can now tackle most situations confidently
without the mentor’s help
The mentee feels they have reached self-sufficiency
13
Agree
Disagree
Strongly
Disagree
14