An Exploration of Male SelfConfidence in the Coaching
Context
Presented by Jackie Fitzgerald at the 11th Annual Coaching and
Mentoring Research Conference, Oxford Brookes University.
15 January 2015
Why this topic?
• Male self-confidence not well
understood – almost a taboo
‘Men who lack confidence? Don’t you despise
them?’
• Not clear what self-confidence ‘is’.
• How can coaching improve confidence?
References to search terms on Google
• Indicate familiarity with
terminology (Shamma et
al, 2004; Kelly & Cool,
2002)
• Self-confidence = 129m
results
• Self-esteem = 53m results
• Self-efficacy = 9.5m
results
(search carried out 27/5/14)
Literature review
• No clear definition/understanding of self-confidence
– Lies at the interface of abilities and personality (Stankov &
Crawford, 1997)
• Little found on male self-confidence specifically (except
arrogance)
• Men & women have similar levels of self-esteem (Reitzes &
Mutran, 1994)
• Degree of Gender Role Conflict (O’Neill, 2013) affects
confidence
• Confident men feel competent (Reitzes & Mutran, 1994)
• Not clear whether & how coaching helps self-confidence
issues
Research method
• Intepretivist paradigm + pre theory status of
question = IPA study
• 6 outwardly successful men aged 40-65
• All had been coached and/or mentored
• Semi-structured interviews
• Data transcribed and analysed following
Smith, Flowers & Larkin (2009) process
Superordinate themes
3 emerged:
1. The uniqueness of the RP’s attitudes
towards and experiences of selfconfidence
2. Control as a factor in increasing selfconfidence
3. The need for someone to talk to
1. The uniqueness of self-confidence
What self-confidence means to the RP’s
RP1
RP2
RP3
RP4
RP5
RP6
X
X
X
X
X
X
It depends on context/the situation
X
X
X
X
X
Accepting myself, being comfortable in own skin, being
X
X
X
X
Trust in my own ability, competence
congruent
Financial security
X
X
X
X
An act, what I project
X
X
Being well-prepared, having practiced
X
X
Something you can work on and change
X
X
What affects RP confidence?
What affects your confidence?
RP1
RP2
The situation & context
Having someone to talk to
Knowing what's in store, familiarity
Being part of a good team
Family support
X
X
X
Autonomy, making my own decisions
Being successful
Congruence
Practice
Competence
By acting it I become it
Past experience
Information
Financial security
How high the stakes are
Being in the right place in the world
Having things under control
Adding value, making a difference
Wanting to be confident
Knowing you're doing the right thing
Age
Physical attributes
Education
Change
Curiosity, being open minded
Positive attitude
Planning, preparation
Being judged, what other people think
X
X
RP3
X
X
X
X
RP4
X
X
X
X
X
X
X
X
X
X
X
X
RP5
RP6
X
X
X
X
X
X
X
X
X
X
X
X
X
X
X
X
X
X
X
X
X
X
X
X
X
X
X
X
X
X
X
X
X
X
X
X
X
X
X
2. Aspects of self-confidence
• Having: resources, skills, experience, power,
autonomy, security, someone to talk to
• Doing: Education, training, research, planning,
practice
• Being: congruence, authenticity
• Clear distinction between work and social or
quasi-social situations: linked to control?
• Arrogance a means of taking control?
Factors influencing confidence
Factors influencing confidence
External
Internal
Being judged -ve
Family expectations generally -ve
Masculine role expectations -ve
Having a good team around you +ve
Family support +ve
Having someone to talk to +ve
Education +ve
Competence +ve
Congruence +ve
Self-acceptance +ve
Positive attitude +ve
Wanting to be confident +ve
Experience +ve
Physical attributes (eg height, weight) both Financial Security +ve
Social background both
Familiarity +ve
Thoughts often -ve
Preparation +ve
Age often -ve
Skill & knowledge acquisition +ve
Situation/context both
Experience +ve
Being in a competitive situation both
Autonomy +ve
Low stakes +ve
Random
Control
Effects of low confidence
• Reported effects strikingly similar: sleeplessness,
physical discomfort, changes to posture, illness:
• RP3: So, it’s that…it’s just, it’s unsettling. So, you
wake up in the middle of the night, you don’t get
back to sleep. So, you go and chop a tree down at
five in the morning, except the chainsaw will wake
everybody up, so you can’t do that either. You just
end up pacing round the house.
• Coping strategies: distraction, physical activity,
withdrawal
3. Someone to talk to
• All considered this important
– Can’t talk to their wives, keep them out of things
• Slightly motivational, more of a sounding board:
• RP4: I would say overall its nearly always been
positive because its helped me deal with, for want
of a better word, nagging doubts about things,
and not in a massively life changing way, but in a
positive reinforcing way, in a ‘there is nothing
wrong with you thinking that’ kind of thing and
occasionally a little bit of a gee up about ‘yeah, I
do need to be…’
What the RP’s wanted from their
coach
•
•
•
•
•
•
Listen, support, teach & guide
Get them through ‘stuff’
Affirm, confirm thinking and decisions
Validation more than motivation
Most valued a mentor rather than a coach
However the coaching experience was
transformational for some
Implications for coaching practice 1:
• Idiosyncrasy of self-confidence re-emphasised the
importance of initial contracting.
RP5 ‘That makes me think. One of my clients, a senior guy
in banking, he wanted coaching on some self-confidence
stuff and I never thought to find out what he meant because
I thought I knew what he meant. We are going to be having
a very different conversation in a few weeks.’
• Does the client want coaching or mentoring?
Implications for coaching practice 2:
• Coach must find out what self-confidence
means to that client & what combination of
factors influences their confidence
• Set aside value judgements - remain client
centred
• Focus on context and situation
– Can coaching help given the context?
Implications for coaching practice 3:
• Frequent temperature-checking needed
– Situation may change
– Client may not raise confidence themselves
• Confidence warning signs:
– Sleeplessness, illness, slouching
– Withdrawal, reticence, avoidance of issues,
arrogance (Berglas, 2006)
– Focus on/concerns about decision-making
Implications for coaching practice 4:
Suitable approaches
• Client-centred to address the highly individual
nature of male self-confidence
• Skills and performance for those with strong
‘doing’ bias or in task/performance contexts
• Strengths-based
– Known to improve confidence & self-esteem (Hodges
& Clinton, 2004; Linley & Harrington, 2008)
– Addresses fear of showing weakness (Brown, 2012)
Further research
• Do gender role expectations matter more for
younger, less affluent men?
• What differences are there between how men
and women recognise & deal with selfconfidence
• Is there a developmental aspect to
confidence?
Contact info
Written and presented by Jackie Fitzgerald
jackie@alchemybusinesscoaching.biz
t: 01235 861 311
m: 07833 478 761
twitter: @jfitzbizcoach
All slides © Jackie Fitzgerald 2015
References
Berglas, S. (2006) ‘How to keep A players productive’, Harvard Business Review, Vol. 84, Issue 9, pp. 104-112.
Brown, B. (2012) Daring Greatly How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and
Lead. London: Penguin Books. Kindle edition.
Hodges, T.D., Clinton, D.O. (In press) Strengths Based Development in Practice In: Linley, P.A., & Joseph, S. (eds.)
International Handbook of Positive Psychology in Practice: From Research to Application. New Jersey: Wiley and Sons.
Available from: http://strengths.uark.edu/development-in-practice.pdf [Accessed 25 September 2014].
Kelly, D., Cool, C. (2002) ‘The effects of topic familiarity on information search behavior’ In: Proceedings of the 2nd
ACM/IEEE-CS joint conference on Digital libraries. New York:ACM. Available from
http://dl.acm.org/citation.cfm?id=544232 [Accessed June 9 2014].
Linley, P.A., Harrington, S. (2006) ‘Strengths Coaching: A potential-guided approach to coaching psychology’.
International Coaching Psychology Review Vol. 1 No. 1, 37:46
O’Neil, J.M. (2013) ‘Gender role conflict research 30 years later: an evidence-based diagnostic schema to assess boys
and men in counseling’, Journal of Counseling and Development, Vol. 91, pp. 490-498.
Reitzes, D.C., Mutran, E.J. (1994) ‘Multiple roles and identities: factors influencing self-esteem among middle-aged
working men and women’, Social Psychology Quarterly, Vol. 57, No.4, pp. 313-325.
Shamma, D.A, Owsley,S., Bradshaw, S., Sood, S., Budzik, J., Hammond, K. (2004) Using the Web as a Measure of
Familiarity and Obscurity. Available from: www.researchgate.net [Accessed June 9, 2014].
Smith, J.A., Flowers, P., Larkin, M. (2009) Interpretative Phenomenological Analysis Theory, Method and Research.
London: Sage.
Stankov, L., Crawford, J. (1997) ‘Self-confidence and performance on tests of cognitive abilities.’ Intelligence Vol. 25,
Issue 2, pp. 93-109.