Leadership Training
Mentoring
Temperance #438 - Education
Mentoring in the Past
According to ancient Greek legend, Odysseus -- the king of Ithica-- had
a young son named Telemachus. When the king went off to fight in the Trojan
War, Odysseus asked his trusted friend, Mentor, to look after young Telemachus.
Mentor watched over Telemachus for almost ten years.
The word “mentor,” meaning a wise and trusted teacher or counselor,
has been with us ever since.
Back then, mentoring traditionally took place within families. When
royalty was the established power base, fathers were inclined to mentor their
sons. Later, mentoring involved both genders and people would work with
protégés who were not family members.
The word “protégé” comes from the Old French word “protéger”
meaning “to protect.” We will be using the word “New Brother”
Mentoring, a type of teamwork among two individuals is also achieved
through focused interpersonal communication.
Temperance #438 - Education
Mentoring Today
There are many different types of mentoring
and many different ways to do it.
Primary mentors are individuals that have front-line experience with the
protégé.
Secondary mentors, on the other hand, might offer consult as a
supplement to the primary mentor’s advice.
Structured mentoring is based on a pre-arranged schedule of meetings
where as informal mentoring takes place on a more casual basis.
Group mentors are gurus who are able to help several protégés
simultaneously. These meetings often involve common agendas and a lot of
group discussion.
Temperance #438 - Education
What Mentors Do
Advise, support, and provide guidance.
Facilitate understanding of environment and culture.
Instill attitudes.
Aid in retention.
Provide trusted counsel.
Temperance #438 - Education
Good Mentoring Tips
Provide a nonthreatening environment.
Build trust early.
Be a good listener.
Share personal experiences.
Make suggestions
Specific problems
Getting things accomplished
Temperance #438 - Education
The three modes of learning:
Auditory, Visual, and Experiencing.
Auditory learning involves processing information with the
ears. Lectures, Personal stories, animated conversation.
Visual learning allows the New Brother to acquire
information primarily with his eyes. Reading literature,
Presentations, and watching others.
Experiencing allows a brother to get that “Hands On”
knowledge. Learning by being invited to and participating in
events and activities.
Seeing what you have been teaching, in action
Temperance #438 - Education
Communication
In order for the mentoring process to work best, the mentor
and the new Brother should be compatible. This dynamic is critical to
the success of the relationship and it is recommended that the
partners experiment with some informal personality analysis prior to
committing to a mentoring agreement.
Good communication is critical during the early stages of mentoring.
Neither the mentor, nor the new Brother should dominate
discussion. Both parties should ask lots of questions. The mentor
should ask about the new Brother’s goals and desires. The new
Brother should solicit the mentor’s advice. In short, the conversation
should feature lots of two-way communication that has neither party
dominating the conversation.
Temperance #438 - Education
Communication
3000 years ago, The Greek philosopher Aristotle
studied communication and devised a model that still
stands today.
All communication has three parts—a message, a
sender, and a receiver.
Messages flow both ways - from sender to receiver
and from receiver to sender.
Receivers and senders both have responsibilities for
good communications.
Temperance #438 - Education
Communication
Sending a Message
Listeners pay attention to more than just the words they
hear. They also take care to notice a speaker’s body language, tone
of voice, and emotional sense and consider them part of the
message the person is sending.
Much of communication is conveyed by body language, or
physical cues and reactions, such as shaking one’s head to show
you are receiving the message, facial gestures such as smiles and
frowns, leaning forward to show interest. Body language can
convey a message opposite of what information or tone is being
sent or received.
Temperance #438 - Education
Listening
Listening is:
An essential part of communication
Not taught in school
A skill that can be learned
It connects us with others.
It helps us make decisions and solve problems.
Temperance #438 - Education
Listening
“Seek first to understand,
then be understood.”
— Stephen Covey
Temperance #438 - Education
Two Parts of Effective Listening
Active listening
Rephrasing and checking
Nonjudgmental attitude
Empathetic listening
Putting the listener in the speaker’s place
Seeing things from the speaker’s viewpoint
Understanding how the speaker feels
Temperance #438 - Education
Listening
Listen between the words by getting to the meaning and motivation
behind communication. Why are certain words being used? What is the
tone? Is there a message behind the actual verbiage? What speech
patterns emerge as the mentoring relationship develops?
Practice active/visual listening by leaning slightly forward and tilting your
head just a little. Take notes so the other person knows you are keeping
track of details. Mentoring does not involve “showing off” or out doing the
other person.
Be an involved and committed listener. Follow up on important issues.
Long-term goals, of course, require careful follow-up and systemized
tracking.
Temperance #438 - Education
Listening
Ask open questions that begin with phrases like “How do you
feel about . . . ?” and “What do you think is best regarding . . ?”
Mentors should learn how to confront New Brothers in a nonthreatening, constructive manner. Calm, level tones are
preferable to sarcasm or deprecating humor.
Concentrate on how you make your new Brother feel, rather
than trying to teach them a lesson.
Temperance #438 - Education
Development
The development of a Brother occurs
in a series of four clear stages:
Forming
Storming
Norming
Performing
Temperance #438 - Education
Development
Using the EDGE method:
Explain
Demonstrate
Guide
Enable
Temperance #438 - Education
Development
Forming:
You are just starting out. You were probably eager to be a part of the
group, but weren’t sure yet what was expected of you. You had just gotten
here and didn’t have time yet to master many of the skills.
Every new brother goes through the Forming stage.
Every new brother goes through Forming when its members set off to
learn a new skill or reach a new goal.
high enthusiasm, low skills
Leadership: Explaining
Enthusiasm and motivation for doing something new are high, skills are
low.
An effective leader will do lots of careful explaining to help a brother
understand exactly what to do and how to do it.
Temperance #438 - Education
Development
Storming:
Is the second phase of development. It’s almost always going to happen.
You’ve been together as a team long enough to realize how much is left
to do.
Every new brother goes through Storming as they are learning a new skill
or working to reach a new goal.
low enthusiasm, low skills
Leadership: Demonstrating
A brother has been at it long enough to realize that the tasks ahead are
not easy. He understand there is still plenty of work to do. As a result,
enthusiasm and motivation are low. Skills are still low, too.
An effective leader will continue to make things clear by showing the
brother how to succeed.
Temperance #438 - Education
Development
Norming:
is the third phase of development. It’s almost always going to happen.
The brother has been around long enough that his skills are growing and you
are becoming better at working together. Motivation and enthusiasm are
growing, but you still look ahead and see there is much to do and much to
learn.
growing enthusiasm, growing skills
Leadership: Guiding
Their skill level will rise. They still realize the goal is some distance away, and
so their motivation and enthusiasm can still be somewhat low.
A leader will need to guide the brother—giving them more freedom to figure
out things on their own, supporting them with encouragement, and providing
support when they need it.
Temperance #438 - Education
Development
Performing:
Is the fourth phase of development.
A brother has developed the skills they need to achieve the goals that
challenge them. They are working together well. Motivation and
enthusiasm are high. The brothers are eager to push ahead and achieve
all they can.
high enthusiasm, high skills
Leadership: Enabling
A brother has reached the point where they can act independently and be
very productive. Skills are high and so is enthusiasm and motivation.
A leader offers brothers plenty of freedom to make decisions on their own
and to keep moving ahead.
Temperance #438 - Education
Development
All people go through four stages of development. Whenever people set
out to reach goals and realize a vision, they will experience the phases of
this development.
The level of skill of a new Brother and their level of motivation and
enthusiasm are clues that can be used to identify a Brother’s current
stage of development.
By recognizing the stage of a new Brother’s development, you can be
more effective as a mentor and help him move to the next stage.
Temperance #438 - Education
Providing Feedback
Is it helpful?
Do they want it?
Is it specific?
Can it change a behavior?
Does it describe behavior?
Does it contain an “I” statement?
Did the recipient understand what you said?
Temperance #438 - Education
Providing Feedback
You can give caring feedback
without a good technique,
but the slickest technique in the world
will not hide a lack of caring.
Temperance #438 - Education
What is needed?
1) A New Brother
2) A Mentor
3) Checklist to get started
4) Mentor Information Handout
5) Mentoring Programs
a. Handbook for Mentor
b. Handbooks for New Brother
Temperance #438 - Education
What is needed?
1. Handouts:
a. Mentor Info sheet
b. New Brother info sheet
c. Offices and Duties
d. Meeting Etiquette
e. Social Media
1. Mentor Workbook
a. Grand Lodge
b. Degree Workbooks (all 3)
2. New Brother’s Workbook
(issued 1 at a time)
a. Entered Apprentice - self test
b. Fellow Craft - self test
c. Master Mason - self test
Temperance #438 - Education
Setting a Vision
Vision is what success looks like.
Vision is a picture of where you want to be in the future.
The Vision is learning and earning this Degree
How can you eat an elephant?
One bite at a time!
How can you fulfill your vision?
One goal at a time.
If your vision is the elephant, goals are the bites that allow you to
eat the elephant.
Temperance #438 - Education
Setting Goals
Goals are the steps you complete to fulfill the training. They are
the bite-sized pieces of the training you can accomplish one at a
time.
There are many ways to think of goals -- as the rungs on a ladder,
as small footsteps of a long journey, as the bites of an elephant.
There are short-term goals -- things you can accomplish right away.
Setting goals -- and then reaching them -- is the pathway to
fulfilling a vision. That’s the way to eat an elephant -- one bite at a
time.
Temperance #438 - Education
Activity
Let’s break down your
Vision into goals.
Temperance #438 - Education
Activity
Let’s break down that goal
to a plan.
Temperance #438 - Education
Leading Yourself
We often think of a leader as the person out front. The WM,
The committee chair, The supervisor at work…
showing people the way.
But before we can lead others well,
we need to be able to lead ourselves.
Temperance #438 - Education
Leading Yourself
For now, let’s boil down leading ourselves to answering
three questions:
1. Where am I now?
2. Where do I want to be?
3. How do I close the gap between where I am now
and where I want to be?
Temperance #438 - Education
Leading Yourself
Vision:
Where I am now is pretty easy to figure out. But how do you figure out where you
want to go?
Vision. That’s what future success looks like. That’s where we want to go.
Vision is the elephant.
Goals:
Goals are the steps to fulfilling that vision. Goals are the bites of the elephant.
Planning:
Planning is the way to figure out how to reach your goals. Planning is figuring out
where you’ll get the fork, the cook pot, and the elephant recipe book.
Temperance #438 - Education
Leading Yourself
We first MUST mentor ourselves.
Know your material
Plan your step by step goals
Adjust your goals and timing as you see results
Go through your own development stages
Temperance #438 - Education
How much time should it take
before a New Brother
is ready for the next Degree?
Temperance #438 - Education
There is no real answer
But please consider:
Quality and value take time
Too fast and you set him up to fail
You became a father by experience!
Not by reading or being told about it
Any degree given means nothing, if it is not earned.
Self realization and self improvement must be present.
Each New Brother is different
Temperance #438 - Education
How Much Time Should It Take?
Judge from your heart.
Between you,
your new Bother,
and your Education Officer
You will know.
Temperance #438 - Education
Share Your Light
Temperance #438 - Education