Sentencing – “In the Snake Pit”
Your eventual task will be to write a comparison of
Jack’s experience of dining with the First Class
passengers and Rose’s time at the party in
Steerage. (Third Class)
The focus this time is going to be on sentencing –
how you express your ideas.
This is a very
important stage in the craft of writing so pay
careful attention.
Titanic Focus 3- Sentencing
•Your ability to write in accurate
sentences and in varied types of
sentences is a basic criterion used to
grade your work.
•This is one of the reasons why as
English teachers we so often
encourage you to read material that
is quality writing – whether it be
fiction,
non–fiction,
newspapers,
magazines etc.
• As you read you will be exposed to
the writing of professionals and will
begin to see how they create
sentences, and vary them to create
certain effects. Over time you will
naturally begin to imitate their
styles.
•If you want to learn to drive a car,
you need to practise driving – those
who want to become good writers
read the work of other writers to
help them develop their skills.
Simple Sentences
• How to put simple sentences together.
• To make your writing more interesting than
using lots of small sentences, you can use two
kinds of longer sentences. The simpler of these
is the compound sentence.
• How do I make a compound sentence?
• When you have two or more short,
independent, simple sentences which are of
equal weight you can join them together using
special words called conjunctions.
Creating compound sentences
• 'I hate curry.' is a simple sentence.
•
'I like Thai food.' is also a simple sentence.
• You can put these together to make one, longer and
more interesting compound sentence using a
conjunction 'I hate curry' + but + 'I like Thai food' = 'I hate curry,
but I like Thai food.'
• Just as junctions join two or more roads together, so
we use conjunctions to join two or more short
sentences together.
• Commas are not conjunctions and they should never
be used to join short sentences together (commas
aren't sticky, so you can't use them to stick information
together!).
Conjunctions
 Most common conjunctions: and, as, but, or, so
 Avoid using the same conjunction over and over again.

• BEWARE!
The conjunction that you use may change the meaning of
your sentence!
Conjunctions don't just stick sentences together - they
show the relationship between the pieces of
information.
• Note the slightly different meaning in these sentences:
•
I
I
I
I
I
walked
walked
walked
walked
walked
home. I was tired.
home and I was tired.
home as I was tired.
home but I was tired.
home so I was tired.
Complex sentences
• As we have already learned, constant use of short
sentences can be a bit strange to read.
To make your writing more interesting, you can use two
other sorts of longer sentences. We have already
looked at
Compound sentences
Now we are going to consider complex sentences
How do I make a complex sentence?
Complex sentences
• Remember - when you make a compound sentence you are
joining two or more simple sentences together with a conjunction.
If you took the conjunction away, the sentences would be
complete and they would still make sense.
• e.g. 'I hate curry, but I like Thai food.'= 'I hate curry' + but + 'I like
Thai food'
• This isn't the same for complex sentences.
• Complex sentences don't just divide into neat, complete, simple
sentences if you take out the conjunctions. In complex sentences the
conjunction is used to join together clauses.
• A clause is a group of words that contains a subject and a verb. Some of
these clauses might be complete short sentences, but in a complex
sentence at least one of them will depend on the conjunction for its
meaning.
•
In other words…..
Complex Sentences
• In other words, if you take the conjunction away, the
sentence will not divide into complete units that make sense
by themselves.
• e.g. 'The dinner was burned because she had forgotten it.'
= 'The dinner was burned' + 'because she had forgotten it.'
This is a complex sentence:
• 'The dinner was burned' = complete, short, simple sentence.
 'because' = conjunction (joining word)
 ‘because she had forgotten it' = subordinate clause –
because she had forgotten it does not make sense on its
own. What had she forgotten?
 This is called a 'subordinate clause' because without the
rest of the sentence it doesn't really make sense.
 (subordinate = additional, supplementary, additional)
The important joining words
• For both compound and complex sentences, you need a good
selection of conjunctions, or joining words.
• The 'magnificent seven' conjunctions (the most commonly used)
are: and, although, as, because, but, if, or
• There are a number of other important conjunctions that you can
use.
These can be put into categories of time, place, or agreement.
• TIME =before, after, until, since, when, whenever, while
• e.g.
We all went home before a fight broke out.
She went to bed after she put the cat out.
There will be no peace until somebody says that they are sorry.
It has not been the same around here since our friends moved
away.
They put the television off when the programme had finished.
He washes his new car whenever it gets mucky.
The children go to the crèche while Mum goes to work.
Place Conjunctions
• PLACE =where
• e.g.
Remember that restaurant where you ate a huge steak.
• AGREEMENT =though, although, whether
• e.g.
He could play the violin though he was only five years old.
I will invite you to come in although the place is a mess.
It was a great show whether you wanted to join in or just watch.
•
• Remember!
1. Try to avoid using the same conjunction over and over again. It is
much better to 'mix and match'.
2. The conjunction you use can change the meaning of the sentence.
You can't use every conjunction everywhere - so choose wisely!
To sum up
• 'Although I'm not very good, I really enjoy playing football.'
• = 'Although' + 'I'm not very good' + 'I really enjoy playing
football.' Again, this is a complex sentence:
 'Although' = conjunction (joining word). Yes, sometimes
conjunctions can appear at the beginning of a sentence!
 'I'm not very good' = subordinate clause.
 'I enjoy playing football' = complete short sentence.
As for compound sentences, commas are not
conjunctions and they should never be used to join short
sentences or clauses together
e.g. 'The homework was undone, she had forgotten it.' =
Discuss with the person beside you why this is incorrect
and suggest a conjunction which could join the clauses.
Identifying subordinate clauses
•
Now you try ( as a class or a group or pair) to work out the the main clauses
and any subordinate clauses in the following sentences: (remember not
every sentence has a subordinate clause!)
1)
Jessica has a baby dwarf rabbit.
2)
Looking through binoculars, I glimpsed the cruiser on the horizon.
3)
As the train slowed, I collected together all my luggage.
4)
Chemistry is my favourite subject because it is interesting.
5)
I wandered lonely as a cloud that floats on high o’er vales and hills.
(Wordsworth- famous poet from 19th century)
6)
World-famous movie star, Brad Pitt has separated from his wife.
So how did you get on ?
How did you do?
( Main clause only )
1)
Jessica has a baby dwarf rabbit.
2)
Looking through binoculars,
(Main clause)
the horizon.
3)
As the train slowed,
(Main clause)
luggage.
4)
Chemistry is my favourite subject
5)
I wandered lonely as a cloud
(Subordinate Clause)
and hills.
century)
6)
World-famous movie star,
(Main clause)
from his wife.
(Subordinate Clause)
(Subordinate Clause)
I glimpsed the cruiser on
I collected together all my
(Main clause)
(Subordinate Clause)
because it is interesting.
(Main clause)
that floats on high o’er vales
(Wordsworth- famous poet from 19th
(Subordinate Clause)
Brad Pitt has separated
This last sentence is an example of more informal writing
where a “flashy” detail is given first to spice up the writing.
A more formal style – used in a quality newspaper – would
probably begin, Brad, Pitt, the world-famous movie star, has
…….……..
Sometimes in very complex, formal sentences,
there can be several subordinate clauses, before the
main one.
• As it was, underfed, in ragged clothes, criticised
constantly by adults, perpetually tired through sleeping
in a room with his brother and sister, he could still prove
his cleverness in any competitions with the best of his
of his contemporaries.
• Here the main clause is he could still prove his
cleverness in any competitions with the best of his of
his contemporaries and there are several subordinate
clauses coming before that main clause.
Theory into Practice
• You should try to write some compound and some complex
sentences in your writing. Perhaps the teacher will allow you to
model some on the ones you have been looking at or will provide
others.
• Combine the following ideas into one compound sentence
• I arrived at the station. It was 20:06.
• Now make a complex sentence (remember one of the clauses, at
least, can not make sense on its own!!!) from the following
• I arrived at the station. It was 20:06. The train had left.
• Share your ideas with the others class
• However the key to effective writing is to vary your sentencing
styles – sometimes the simple, short sentence is appropriate- e.g.
when you are trying to create tension or you want to draw
attention to a particular moment.
• As they say – variety is the spice of life.
Time to Write
• Your task now, as we said earlier, is to write a comparison of
Jack’s experience of dining with the First Class passengers
and Rose’s time at the party in Steerage. (Third Class)
• Remember the focus is going to be on sentencing which
we have spent a considerable amount of time on.
• You will be shown the two sequences (The Snake Pit and A
Real Party) at least twice, simply to become familiar with
them before you begin note-taking.
Lay your page out using the titles in red (black writing is
there to help you make your notes)
•Setting
•Setting
•Make notes on the
décor of the first class
dining room – ceiling,
clock, staircase, lighting
and also the lamps (at
bottom of stairs)
•Describe the food, the
food utensils and how it
is served and by whom.
•Think of the impression
on Jack.
•Describe the décor of
steerage – floor and
walls. How does the
overall appearance
compare with the first
class dining room?
•How must this appear
to Rose?
•Camera angles
•First Class Dining room
•Watch the point of view shots
between Rose and Jack – what
do these tell you about the
Rose’s feelings?
•The camera zooms very slowly
from the musicians back to the
food? How is this appropriate to
the atmosphere of the dining
room?
•Is this an atmosphere Jack
would be comfortable with
•What does the high-angled
shot showing Rose looking up at
Jack waiting beneath the clock
tell us about Rose’s feelings?
•Camera angles
•Party in Steerage
•What are we shown in close up
then in extreme close up in the
party scene?
•What does this suggest about
Jack’s feelings for Rose?
•Your teacher will lead a class
discussion on the camera
movement showing the dancers
and then concentrating on Jack
and Rose. Think about how the
camera reflects what is going on
in their minds.
• Listen carefully and make
effective notes.
Time to Write
• Now use your notes to write a comparison of the
two experiences – first write about what Jack saw
and how he reacted to it.
• Then write about Rose’s experiences tracing the
changes in her responses to this new adventure.
• Ensure that you concentrate on your sentences – you
must write in some complex ones . (You may be
asked to rewrite sections if you fail to do this!!)