The Introductory Paragraph The Paragraph that Hooks Your Reader © 2001 by Ruth Luman References An Introduction Definition and Purpose An introduction is the first paragraph in your essay and contains the thesis statement. The main purposes of an introduction are to… present the focus of your essay and give your reader some general information about your subject. catch your reader’s attention so that he/she will become interested in reading your essay. An Introduction General Information and Focus An introduction always includes some general statements about your subject and a thesis statement that announces the focus of your essay. The thesis statement is usually the last sentence in the introduction because it is the most specific. Notice how the introduction below begins with general information and becomes more specific. An Introduction General Information and Focus General statements provide background information on the focus of health care for homeless people with HIV. There are a number of frightening disease epidemics occurring in the United States today, but one of the most frightening is the epidemic spread of sexually transmitted diseases. Among the most serious of these sexually transmitted diseases is HIV which leads to AIDS, a fatal disease. HIV is especially problematic among homeless people. This particular population is difficult to treat due to a number of barriers such as, limited access to health care, mistrust of health care professionals, and a lack of awareness of the disease, itself. Specific focus of essay and thesis statement. An Introduction A Closer Look Let’s look at that introduction again and see how the sentences become more and more specific leading to the thesis statement. There are a number of frightening disease epidemics occurring in the United States today, but one of the most frightening is the epidemic spread of sexually transmitted diseases. General Statements Among the most serious of these sexually transmitted diseases is HIV which leads to AIDS, a fatal disease. HIV is especially problematic among homeless people. Very Specific: Thesis Statement This particular population is difficult to treat due to a number of barriers such as, limited access to health care, mistrust of health care professionals, and a lack of awareness of the disease, itself. More Specific Example #2 General Information and Focus Here is another example of how an introduction can begin with general information and become more specific with a thesis statement at the end. Example #2 General Information and Focus General statements provide background information on the steps the Indian government is taking to reduce population. Overpopulation and finding ways to reduce it are big concerns of many developing nations today. One nation that is concerned about this issue is India. One of the biggest causes of overpopulation in India is the high infant mortality rate. Parents often have more children because they are fearful that if some children die, there won’t be enough children to take care of them in their old age. India is taking some important steps in dealing with this problem. Some of the steps the Indian government is taking are providing birth control for women, improving pre-natal care, and educating women on the benefits of having fewer children. Specific focus of essay and thesis statement. Example #2 A Closer Look Look at the example below to see how the sentences in the introduction become more and more specific leading to the thesis statement. General Statements Overpopulation and finding ways to reduce it are big concerns of many developing nations today. One nation that is concerned about this issue is India. One of the biggest causes of overpopulation in India is the high infant mortality rate. More Parents often have more children because they are fearful that if some children die, there won’t be enough children to take care of them in their old age. Very Specific: Thesis Statement India is taking some important steps in dealing with this problem. Some of the steps the Indian government is taking are providing birth control for women, improving pre-natal care, and educating women on the benefits of having fewer children. Specific An Introduction Catch the Reader’s Attention In addition to stating the thesis and providing some general information on your subject, an introduction also needs to catch a reader’s attention and cause him/her to become interested in reading your essay. There are several ways you can introduce your subject and catch your reader’s attention. Use a story or example of a personal experience. Use a quotation. Use a question or questions. Catching Attention Using a Story or Personal Experience A brief dramatic story or example can be used to get the attention of your reader. Look at the example below and think about how it catches your attention. Personal Story or Example A personal story can “hook” your reader into wanting to read more. When the car accident happened, my brother was left with a broken arm, leg, and hip. My mother nearly died due to head injuries. However, we all survived due to the team of emergency medical technicians who responded quickly to the scene and provided us with the help we needed. After my experience of being involved in a car accident, I saw how I could use my interest in first aid and desire to help other people through becoming an emergency medical technician. Now, after twenty years of work as an EMT, I think it is the most rewarding job I could ever have and feel that the occupation, itself, has numerous advantages over other occupations in the health care field. Thesis Statement Personal Story or Example Example #2 Here’s another example of how you can use a story to catch a reader’s attention in an introduction. Personal Story or Example Example #2 An example of a story in the third person. John’s parents divorced when he was in elementary school. After the divorce, his mother had to go to work to support him and his three sisters. This disrupted John’s home life in serious ways. Without the constant supervision of his mother and the lack of a father for a role-model, John began skipping school and socializing with the wrong group of people. He eventually turned to taking drugs and was later arrested for being a drug dealer and sent to prison. John is not unlike other prisoners. In many prisons today, over half of all inmates come from divorced families. Divorce can be the catalyst that unleashes emotional problems in children and can affect children psychologically, mentally, and socially. Thesis Statement Catching Attention Using a Quote Sometimes controversial or well-known quotations can be used to surprise your reader. Look at the example below and notice how a quotation can be used to get you interested in the rest of the essay. Using a Quote A well-known quotation from American literature. Henry David Thoreau, an American poet, once wrote, “ Our life is frittered away by detail… simplify, simplify!” These words of advice are difficult to follow in a society where a hectic pace of life is the norm and the attainment of more material goods is encouraged. However, I believe that this philosophy of living simply has quite a bit of merit. The difficulty of following this philosophy is knowing where we should begin. If we examine Henry David Thoreau’s life carefully, I believe we will find a number of ways in which to simplify our own lives and yet live richly. (Quotation from: Watson, 1951) Thesis Statement Quotation Example #2 Here’s another example of how you can use a quotation to catch a reader’s attention in an introduction. Quotation Example #2 Quotation Horace once wrote, “ Many blessings do the advancing years bring with them.” For many senior citizens in the United States today, old age can often come as a curse. Many older people suffer from ill health, loneliness, and/or financial instability; however, life in later years does not have to be this way. Many senior citizens can experience the blessings of advancing years that Horace once wrote about. In order to do that, let’s consider ways in which old age actually enhances life. (Quotation from: Watson, 1951) Thesis Statement Catching Attention Using Questions Another way to catch your reader’s attention is with a question. Questions can make your reader begin thinking about the subject in your essay. Using Questions Questions that may surprise your reader. Have you ever run in a marathon? Most marathons are twenty six miles. Have you ever heard of one-hundred mile marathons? The state of Colorado hosts a one-hundred mile marathon each year. People from all over the United States and the world run in this marathon. Some of the top runners in this race have been members of the Tarahumara Indian tribe in the Sierra Madre mountains of Mexico. Tarahumaras do not train for marathons, but their lifestyle and culture promotes, develops, and supports this type of athletic endeavor. Thesis Statement Questions Example #2 Here’s another example of how you can use a question to catch a reader’s attention in an introduction. Question Did you know that one of the eight architectural wonders of the world is located in Cambodia? Angkor Wat is an ancient Buddhist temple that was the center of culture and religion for the Khmer empire for several centuries. It was only recently re-discovered by a French explorer during the 1800’s. It has now become one of the most popular tourist attractions in Southeast Asia. If you visit Angkor Wat, you will find much to admire in its size, historical significance, and beauty. Thesis Statement Body Paragraphs Writing Paragraphs of Importance © 2001 by Ruth Luman References Body Paragraphs Purpose The body paragraphs in your essay support the main idea in your thesis statement by breaking it down into smaller ideas or subtopics. Ideas in your paragraphs should relate back to the thesis statement. Essay Introduction & Thesis Statement Body Paragraph 3 _____________ Body Paragraph 1 Body Paragraph 4 _____________ _____________ Body Paragraph 2 Body Paragraph 5 _____________ _____________ Body Paragraphs Form Most paragraphs contain between five to ten sentences. The first line of a paragraph is usually indented (begin a few spaces to the right of the margin) to show that there is a new paragraph. indent ________________________ . ____________________. _____________________. _________________________. ____________________________. ____________________. ______________________. ______________________________. Key Features Body paragraphs should should contain some of the following features… A Topic Sentence Supporting Sentences A Concluding Sentence Unity Topic Sentences Definition Every paragraph should have a topic sentence. This is the most important sentence because it expresses the main idea of the paragraph. Example Topic Sentence Topic Sentence: states the main idea of the paragraph. Body Paragraph An important factor in learning a foreign language has to do with the concept of intrinsic versus extrinsic motivation. When we do something for the “fun of it” or because we enjoy it, that is called intrinsic motivation. Extrinsic motivation, on the other hand, is when we do something for the purpose of receiving some kind of external reward such as money, time off from work, etc. Many education experts believe that intrinsic motivation is more powerful when it comes to helping students retain what they’ve learned. The question and challenge for teachers today is, “How can we help our students become intrinsically motivated in what we are teaching?” Topic Sentence Essentials Complete Sentence There are several things you need to remember when writing topic sentences. The first is that topic sentences are always complete sentences. Example Not a complete sentence Strategies of learning English. There are many strategies that you can use to help you learn a new language. Example Not a complete sentence The Day of the Dead. The Day of the Dead is a special holiday in Mexico when people can get together to remember deceased loved ones. Topic Sentence Essentials Two Parts A topic sentence contains the topic of the paragraph and a controlling idea. The controlling idea limits the topic to something very specific. Example This sentence does not contain a controlling idea. This is not a good topic sentence, because it does not limit the topic to make it more specific. Topic Sentence Companies need to develop more efficient forms of energy. Topic Sentence Companies should develop more efficient forms of energy such as solar heating panels. Controlling Idea: limits the ideas in the paragraph and makes the sentence more specific. Topic: names the main idea Example #2 Topic and Controlling Idea Topic: names the main idea or general subject of the paragraph Topic Sentence One of the most serious problems in today’s inner-city public schools is overcrowded classrooms. Controlling Idea: makes a specific comment about the subject. Tells the reader what the paragraph will say about the main topic. Example #2 Topic and Controlling Idea Topic: names the main idea or general subject of the paragraph Topic Sentence One of the most serious problems in today’s inner-city public schools is the low percentage of trained teachers. Controlling Idea: makes a specific comment about the subject. Tells the reader what the paragraph will say about the main topic. Be Careful! Make sure that your topic sentence does not contain too many controlling ideas. Be Careful! Make sure that your topic sentence does not contain too many controlling ideas. Example There are too many controlling ideas to be covered in one paragraph. A good topic sentence should be limited to one controlling idea. Topic Sentence The advent of the Internet has benefited society through improved communication, access to information, and streamlined commerce. Topic Sentence The advent of the Internet has benefited society through improved communication. Most topic sentences contain only one controlling idea. Supporting Sentences Definition Every paragraph has sentences that relate to the ideas in the topic sentence. These sentences are called supporting sentences. Look at the supporting sentences on the next page to see how the writer provided more information on the subject in the topic sentence. Supporting Sentences Topic Sentence An important factor in learning a foreign language has to do with the concept of intrinsic versus extrinsic motivation. When we do something for the “fun of it” or because we enjoy it, that is called intrinsic motivation. Extrinsic motivation, on the other hand, is when we do something for the purpose of receiving some kind of external reward such as money, time off from work, etc. Many education experts believe that intrinsic motivation is more powerful when it comes to helping students retain what they’ve learned. Supporting Sentences Concluding Sentence Definition and Purpose A concluding sentence is the last sentence in a paragraph. A conclusion can remind the reader of the main points of a paragraph and/or leave the reader with something to think about in relation to the topic. Look at the next page to see how the writer used a concluding sentence. Concluding Sentence Definition and Purpose A concluding sentence is the last sentence in a paragraph. A conclusion can remind the reader of the main points of a paragraph and/or leave the reader with something to think about in relation to the topic. Look at the next page to see how the writer used a concluding sentence. Concluding Sentence Definition and Purpose A concluding sentence is the last sentence in a paragraph. A conclusion can remind the reader of the main points of a paragraph and/or leave the reader with something to think about in relation to the topic. Look at the next page to see how the writer used a concluding sentence. Concluding Sentence Definition and Purpose A concluding sentence is the last sentence in a paragraph. A conclusion can remind the reader of the main points of a paragraph and/or leave the reader with something to think about in relation to the topic. Look at the next page to see how the writer used a concluding sentence. Concluding Sentence Body Paragraph An important factor in learning a foreign language has to do with the concept of intrinsic versus extrinsic motivation. When we do something for the “fun of it” or because we enjoy it, that is called intrinsic motivation. Extrinsic motivation, on the other hand, is when we do something for the purpose of receiving some kind of external reward such as money, time off from work, etc. Many education experts believe that intrinsic motivation is more powerful when it comes to helping students retain what they’ve learned. The question and challenge for teachers today is, “How can we help our students become intrinsically motivated in what we are teaching?” This concluding sentence tries to leave a final thought with the reader by asking a question. Concluding Sentence Useful Expressions It is sometimes helpful to have a concluding expression in your last sentence to signal the end of your paragraph. Some common expressions used in concluding sentences are listed below. As we can see, Finally, In summary, Consequently, As a result, These examples show that… Concluding Sentence Useful Expressions It is sometimes helpful to have a concluding expression in your last sentence to signal the end of your paragraph. Some common expressions used in concluding sentences are listed below. As we can see, Finally, In summary, Consequently, As a result, These examples show that… Unity Definition Good paragraphs have unity. That means that each sentence in the paragraph is related to the topic sentence. Unified paragraphs also discuss only one main idea. Find the sentences that are “off topic” or do not relate to the topic sentence. Topic Body Paragraph Sentence One of the recent status symbols for many American business people is the palm pilot. Palm pilots are small electronic devices that help people organize information such as dates for meetings, short notes, and addresses of contacts. Fax machines are also very popular among office workers. With palm pilots, a person can input information at any time and any place. Many business people also have cellular phones so that they can make phone calls from just about anywhere. When a person returns to the office from a business trip, he/she won’t have to spend hours organizing notes or addresses, because the palm pilot already has that information. All that person has to do now is hook up the palm pilot to a personal computer, and voila! All the information from meetings is efficiently organized on the hard drive of the personal computer! These sentences do not relate to the topic sentence in the paragraph. This paragraph does not have unity. The Conclusion Making Your Last Paragraph Count © 2001 by Ruth Luman References A Conclusion Definition and Purpose The conclusion is the last paragraph in your essay. A conclusion completes the essay and reemphasizes your thesis statement or main ideas. Look at the example thesis statement and conclusion below. A Conclusion Thesis Statement When I first found out that I was diagnosed with cancer, I took two important steps to fight the disease. First sentence in conclusion reemphasizes ideas in thesis statement. First Sentence of Conclusion Ultimately, because of the steps I took, I was successful in fighting the disease… A Conclusion So What? In addition to referring back to your main idea, your conclusion needs to show your reader the significance of your thesis. When discussing the importance of your thesis, try to address questions such as… How and why is this topic important? How might this topic affect me or other people? What can be learned from this topic? Example #1 So What? Look at the example below of a conclusion that shows the reader the importance of the main idea of the essay. Example #1 Conclusion Paragraph Draft Ultimately, because of the steps I took, I was successful in fighting the disease. I was able to become healthy enough to attend my daughter’s wedding, and I no longer worried about dying. Others suffering with cancer can learn an important lesson from my experience: Don’t give up no matter how hopeless things may seem and always get a second opinion from another doctor! The writer points out how the steps she took to fight cancer affected her and other people. The writer discusses the importance of her topic by writing about the lessons that can be learned. Example #2 Conclusion Look at the example below of a conclusion that refers back to the thesis statement and shows the reader the importance of the main idea of the essay. Example #2 Thesis Statement There were several factors that caused my family to make the difficult decision to immigrate to the United States. Conclusion Paragraph The decision to move to the United States was a difficult one for my parents to make. Though I was angry with their decision at the time, I understand now that the poor economy and political instability of my country forced them to immigrate. Through this experience I learned that one simply cannot control all of life’s circumstances. One must learn to deal with tough situations as they come and work to be successful regardless of one’s location. The first two sentences reemphasize the thesis statement. The writer concludes by discussing the lessons learned from his experience. Concluding an Essay Techniques Some ways to enhance a conclusion are to include a… Prediction Recommendation Quotation Concluding an Essay A Prediction A prediction talks about what might happen in the future. A prediction can be a good way to finish your essay. It can make your reader think about the possible results of your thesis statement. Thesis Statement Prediction Example A program to reforest parts of Haiti is urgently needed. Finally, the importance of beginning a program to re forest parts of Haiti will be an important step in making this country more economically self-sufficient. Without such a program in place, the people of this country will continue to destroy their natural resources for fuel in order to salvage their present state of survival. A prediction is used to make the reader think about possible results of the thesis. Concluding an Essay A Recommendation A recommendation is often used by a writer after he/she has discussed a problem in an essay. A recommendation can be used to suggest a solution or call the readers to do something about the problem in the essay. Recommendation Example As we have seen, international students face a number of difficulties when coming to a new country to study. However, problems such as culture-shock and the language barrier can be lessened before a student comes to the new country through preparation. If you are considering going to school in another country, you should begin learning about the culture, customs, and history of your host nation. Also, you should be sure that you are proficient in the national language or be sure to sign up for language classes once you are there. A recommendation is used to suggest a solution to a problem. Concluding an Essay “A Quotation” A relevant quotation can bring good closure to your essay, especially if the quotation is from an expert on the topic in your composition. Quotation Example David Werner, author of, Where There Is No Doctor, notes that, “Only when the people themselves become actively responsible for their own and their community’s health, can important changes take place.” This should be the mantra of every public health agency when looking at making improvements in common health problems. Unless a community understands the importance of the intervention and takes responsibility for transformation, no long-lasting changes will be made. A quotation from an expert can be used to add credibility to a writer’s position. A Conclusion Useful Transitions It is sometimes helpful to have a transition at the beginning of your conclusion to signal the end of your essay. Some common transitions used in conclusions are listed below. Remember to use a comma after your transitions. In conclusion, Therefore, In summary, To conclude, Thus, In short, A Conclusion Example of Transition Use Thus, despite the advances in computer technology, the kind of computers that take on human characteristics often found in sciencefiction movies are still a long way off. The transition, thus, is used at the beginning of the conclusion to signal the end of the essay.