Chapter 5
Communications in Intimate
Relationships
Chapter Outline
•
Good Communication: A Basic Strength of
Successful Families
•
What Causes Communication Failure?
•
The Foundation Blocks of Successful
Communication
Chapter Outline
•
Developing a Smooth Flow of
Communication
•
Communication Skills Men and Women:
Do They Speak the Same Language?
•
Communication and Family Conflict
•
Family Life in the Information Age
Communication
•
Communication is the sending and
receiving of messages, intentional and
unintentional, verbal and nonverbal.
•
Communication is basic to every human
relationship.
Factors Related to Communication:
•
Trusting and confiding in one another
•
Trying new ways to deal with problems
•
Working together to solve problems
•
Expressing caring and affection for each
other daily
Factors Related to Communication:
•
At least one family member talking to
his/her parents regularly
•
Sharing feelings and concerns with close
friends
•
Parents spending time with teenagers for
private talks
•
Checking in and out with each other
The Foundation Blocks of
Successful Communication
1.
2.
3.
Commitment: The partners must be
committed to make their relationship healthy
and strong.
Growth orientation: The partners must accept
the fact that their relationship will always be
dynamic and changing, rather than static.
Noncoercive atmosphere: The partners must
feel free to be themselves, to be open, and to
be honest.
The Principle of Least Interest
The principle of least interest
assumes that the one who cares the
least controls the relationship.
Communication Skills
•
Communication Motivation: A felt need
to communicate
•
Communication Skill: The ability to
accomplish one’s communication goals
•
Communication Behavior: Verbal and
nonverbal actions that a person takes to
accomplish his/ her goals
Identifying Problem
Ownership
Clarifying responsibility, or problem
ownership, is an important first step
in problem-solving communication.
Self-assertion
Self-assertion is the process of
recognizing and expressing one’s
feelings, opinions, and attitudes
while remaining aware of the
feelings and needs of others.
Johari Window
Empathic Listening
Empathy means not only
understanding what the speaker is
saying, but also responding to and
feeling the speaker’s nonverbal
communications and emotions.
Nonverbal Communication
If we are to be good listeners, part of
our attention needs to be directed to
the nonverbal communications of
the speaker, often referred to as
body language.
Negotiating
In negotiation, the partners alternate
between self-assertion and
empathic listening.
Problem Solving
1.
Recognize and define the problem.
2.
Set up conditions supportive of
problem solving.
3.
Brainstorm for possible alternatives
(establishing hypotheses).
Problem Solving
4.
Select the best solution.
5.
Implement the solution.
6.
Evaluate the solution.
7.
Modify the solution, if necessary.
Brainstorming
The purpose of brainstorming is to
produce as many ideas as possible
within a given time period in an effort
to solve a problem.
Conflict-Causing Communication
Strategies
•
•
•
Denial: when one partner does not
acknowledge the problem.
Disqualification: when the person intends
to cover an emotion and deny that a real
conflict exists.
Displacement: the person places
emotional reactions somewhere other
than the real conflict source.
Conflict-Causing Communication
Strategies
•
Disengagement: family members avoid
conflict simply by avoiding one another.
•
Pseudomutuality: Family members
appear to be perfectly happy and
delighted with each other. In this style of
anger, no hint of discord is ever allowed to
spoil the image of perfection.
Topics of Conflict
Handling money, dividing household
tasks, relative relationships, jobs, social
activities, alcohol use, moodiness,
handling anger, and children all appear
to be possible areas of conflict for many
couples.
Quick Quiz
1. The ability to accomplish one’s
communication goals is
a)
b)
c)
d)
Communication Behavior
Communication Motivation
Communication Skill
Commitment
Answer: c
•
The ability to accomplish one’s
communication goals is called
communication skill.
2. According to the text, this is basic to
every human relationship.
a)
b)
c)
d)
Commitment
Growth
Trust
Communication
Answer: d
•
Communication is basic to every human
relationship.
3. The process of recognizing and
expressing one’s feelings, opinions,
and attitudes while remaining aware of
the feelings and needs of others is
a)
b)
c)
d)
Commitment
Self-assertion
Communication
Problem Ownership
Answer: b
•
Self-assertion is the process of
recognizing and expressing one’s
feelings, opinions, and attitudes while
remaining aware of the feelings and
needs of others.